Da 5 Bloods
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I May Destroy You
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This movie is so bad you can't help but watch it to see of it can get any worse.
Sand Serpents would have been twice as good if weren't for all of the unwatchable shake-y cam. Twice as good still wouldn't have been very good, but I'd have much preferred it if that were the case.
Useless. Just another weird monster plot mixed in with the war on terror. Sands of Oblivion was better! Two sand worms, not sand snakes which doesn't even make any sense such as what is mentioned in the title are resurfaced from being deep underground after an explosion that allows them to escape closer to the surface, so what do they do? Well, I guess their instinct says to eat everyone...so they try to eat everyone around, which are Afghan citizens, the Taliban, and the American army.
The whole plot involves escaping Afghanistan. There is no special way to destroy the sand worms. They are just really huge and long, so a good explosion near the mouth area should easily do it. Nothing special here, nothing crazy, no love angle or heavy backstory that helps the plot. And that's great, it's not like every other SyFy film, it's still boring and pointless.
I'm not going to tell you it's not a watchable film, 'cause it is, but I will tell you that it's very stupid. 31/100
Skip this one for the love of cinema skip it!!
What a pile of worm casings, don't rent it, don't waste bandwidth downloading it, don't take it if a friend wants to give it to you, a real friend wouldn't do that.
More money = more tolerable. As bad as the maneater series can be at times; they are nowhere near the unwatchable level of Asylum Entertainment and can still offer a mild sense of b-movie glee.
The Sy Fy channel has become a place where creativity goes to die, and the cable network now has a reputation for animals-run-amuck movies that are varying degrees of terrible. The only thing worse than their campy, unintentionally funny movies are the ones that take themselves seriously, and unfortunately, "Sand Serpents" is one of the latter.
It's a weird, unsuccessful mix of "Tremors" and "The Hurt Locker", and it features the same shoddy special effects and awful acting. These films are where one-time A list actors go to live out the twilight of their careers, and in this one that distinction goes to Jason Patric. Apparently, this is where starring in "Speed 2" gets you.
The characters are all stereotypes, from the scruffy black Sergeant to the wisecracking Private who thinks all Middle Eastern people are terrorists. His quips are too dumb to be offensive. The sand worms are naturally all computer generated and embarrassingly phony. Any computer savvy kid could come up with something more realistic on his Mackintosh.
There are several gaping plot holes, most notably how the platoon is somehow safe from these earth dwellers in a ramshackle hut in the middle of the desert with a dirt floor. Logic has no place in a film as second-rate as this one. There are people who find films like "Sand Serpents" hilarious, but I've never been one of them. B movies are a favorite of mine, but this junk doesn't qualify as one. This is just a lazy film that barely qualifies as a film. It's a product.
Decent SyFy Movie, An Ok Timewaster.