Texas Chainsaw Reviews
Good movie! When the movie first started I thought it was going to be a pretty good movie. I thought the opening sequence was amazing. After that the introduction with the main cast was corny but pretty much every horror movie is, because for some reason producers don't want to spend money on actors that can carry on a scene without running and screaming. When the horror begins, it starts to get better. I really liked how the film was unpredictable and you didn't know what was gonna happen next. Overall this film gets a 6/10 because it pays good homage to the original 1974 film, while adding different, original elements to the genre. Just don't take this movie seriously, because you will be disappointed. Go into it thinking it's a continuation/spoof of the original film, because this movie has some pretty funny moments. The sad thing is, is that I don't know if the makers of this film were intending it to be funny.
After the first massacre in 1974, the townspeople suspected that the Sawyer family were responsible. A vigilante mob of enraged locals surrounded the Sawyer house, burning it to the ground and killing every last member of the family. Decades later a young woman named Heather learns that she has inherited a Texas estate from her grandmother. she decides to bring her friends along on the road trip to invesitgate her inheritance. On arrival she uncovers she has inherited a mansion but is yet to uncover the terrors that lurk in the basement below it.
Alexandra Daddario stars as a girl on her way to New Orleans with her friends for Mardi Gras. On the way, they must stop off in Texas, as she's apparently inherited a bit of property from a grandmother she never knew she had. This property comes with stipulations, all hidden neatly in a letter the lawyer instructs her to read right away. She ignores this advice and soon is facing down Leatherface himself, now 20 (or 40) years older than he was in the original movie. The redneck townsfolk who killed Leatherface's family off all those years ago are now in charge of the town, and they're ready to finish the job they started. Of course, Leatherface is still a chainsaw-wielding cannibal, yadda yadda, let's not hold that against him please. You eat a few people and the next thing you know, people are trying to burn your house down, jeez. And, that's basically it. There's no real plot to speak of, just a lot of running around, running away, and getting caught. There is an abundance of unrealistic computer animated gore that just doesn't have any effect on me at all. It's almost cartoon-like. Texas Chainsaw 3D is a failure in just about every way. A big, dumb bore.
"Texas Chainsaw 3D" came about when Platinum Dunes announced that they would not be producing any future installments of the series. This prompted Lionsgate, who enthusiastically promised great things, to secure the rights to the franchise. Volumes could be written about how poorly Platinum Dunes handled several of their remakes, but to their credit, the pair of "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" movies weren't that bad. Both films were far from perfect, but they attempted to make the story their own, while delivering some sadistic brutality. Surely, if Lionsgate made good on their bold promises, fans would be in for some quality Horror movies. Unfortunately, the studio's initial effort failed miserably.
"Texas Chainsaw 3D" was intended to be a direct sequel to the 1974 classic. The best parts of the 2013 version are the first 5 minutes when they recap Tobe Hooper's film. Sadly, I'm not even exaggerating. The only good parts of this movie are the highlights of another movie. After introducing several plot holes, the story attempts to start off exactly when the original ends. Everything that transpires from that point on is just ridiculous. Even by slasher movie standards, the storytelling is absolutely shameful. The most unforgivable blunder is the fact that the filmmakers actually attempt to make the viewer feel sympathetic toward Leatherface and the Sawyer family! Really? I couldn't even make this up if I tried.
What an embarrassing error in judgement. So they begin the film by showing the clan shred an invalid with a chainsaw, before torturing his sister to the brink of mental incapacity, but this behavior is apparently excusable because the whole lot is just misunderstood. Talk about a massive departure from the realm of competent storytelling. The self-proclaimed writers are actually attempting to shovel this manure down the viewer's throat. As a lifelong fan of Horror movies, I was offended.
Aside from the horrendous liberties taken with the characters, this film offers nothing unique or even vaguely interesting. The murders are generic, the body count is slim, and to label the 3-D effects uninspired, would be a gross understatement. "Texas Chainsaw 3D" is an utter catastrophe.
The makers of this film should be entirely ashamed of the feces that they served up. They should be as embarrassed to have made this wretched film, as I am to say that I spent money on it. Here's hoping the crew responsible for this negligence aren't allowed anywhere near this franchise in the future.
But darn it I actually had a fair amount of fun with this one. And I guess, points for trying your hand at an iota of originality, even if, again, it made no sense.
The story follows time after the original film, where a girl named Heather (Alexandra Anna Daddario) discovers she is adopted and goes to collect the inheritance from her recently deceased grandmother. She takes a road trip with her friends to collect the inheritance, unaware that it includes her cousin, Leatherface, as well.
The plot of this film couldn't have possibly have felt more undeserving or pointless if they had tried. I mean not all horror franchises are terrible, I have enjoyed the Scream series and the Alien series, but for most franchises they just lose their luster after they make a first great film. This story just felt like they got a bunch of college frat boys who love horror films and sex to write a script to a horror franchise that just needs to die already. I would've loved to see another Texas Chainsaw film if they actually tried something new for once, but overall once I saw the "3D" in the title I knew this was gonna be a disaster. The characters are just annoying and play the common horror film teenagers clichés, and that's about it in a nutshell. Leatherface remains one of my favorite horror films icons of all time because of his haunting and mysterious role in the original film, but just as all the other sequels did, this just doesn't have the edge that I love about him as a brutal and heartless monster. It was a bold move to give a new twist on the character of Leatherface, which I actually did give the film a bit of respect for. But it doesn't change the fact that this was just an unwatchable mess of a movie. It's difficult to say something about a movie where we all knew it would end up a mess, but I just wish the writers had done something else to try to make this unique.
The cast made me sick to my stomach, and that is something I have rarely ever said about a ensemble cast. Alexandra Anna Daddario was a pathetic actress who was only on the screen for the men of the audience who love to see ditzy girls run from horror baddies. Her presence on the screen just made me wish this film would end sooner. Tremaine Neverson should've just stuck to his singing career, because this honestly was a pointless performance and character that just shows how low Hollywood will go for some screen time with an R&B singer. Tania Raymonde was nothing but eye candy for some more men, and she proves that looks actually cannot be deceiving. Scott Eastwood is the son of Clint Eastwood, and that is about all the talent this guy has in this film. I could go on forever about how every actor in this movie just made me bust a gut laughing at their terrible performances, but I will save you the trouble and just tell you that you will see nothing of interest in this film.
Texas Chainsaw 3D is exactly how it sounds from the title, a new Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie that has some cheesy 3D moments and starts out 2013 with a piece of trash. Nobody will remember this movie in a few months, just the same as all the other sequels to this franchise, and it will only remind me more of how much I treasure the original classic film. My favorite horror film of all time is Halloween, and sadly they were able to pull off a large number of sequels and a reboot that were all just complete trash. Luckily, the original Halloween still remains my favorite horror film because it reminds of a time when horror films were great and is also a reminder of how we should never pay attention to sequels in a franchise. This new film didn't peak my interest from the first few minutes I watched this film because I could play out how this movie would end and it turned out I was about 95% correct about everything. Some people really find a love and interest in crappy horror films like this one, and to them I say that they need to go see this right away because its truly as cheesy as a horror film can get. But to people who like a good horror film, I recommend you keep your money in your wallet and just stay home.
Texas Chainsaw 3D follows a young woman travels to Texas to collect an inheritance. I have to admit I haven't seen a more poorly written, generic horror, plague by plot holes, filled with cliche and stock characters, and stupidity since Prometheus. I really hated the poor writing in Prometheus, but this is somehow even worse in terms of writing. Whereas Prometheus at least has an audience that enjoys it even if it is flawed. This film is not capable of the same for it intended audience. Characters are so unlikable to the point where I just gave up and started cheering (as well as everyone in the theater) for Leatherface to kill our heroes. There's a scene where the protagonist runs into a carnival with Leatherface chasing her with no one in the carnival paying attention to that. I mean seriously, not single a person saw a chainsaw wielding maniac chasing a woman through a carnival! Guess it must be just another novel day in Texas. Sub plots are as useless as this film. They appear as frequently as they are abandoned. Sub plots have no other purpose but to tempt you to not continue watching. Also, the film attempts to make us sympathies for Leatherface which is one of the dumbest moments in the film because the film constantly shows him trying to kill people. This is a textbook of how not to write a horror movie; it almost becomes a self parodied of itself in the worst possible way.
As for the 3D.....NO ONE WANTS A CHAINSAW SHOVE INTO THEIR EYES. It's annoying and serves little purpose. It is cool to see blood and gore coming out of the screen, but when you get down to it it'll look ridiculous in 2D. The "acting" is non present. Calling the "actors" performances wooden is to much of a praise. Not a single line that was utter was even close to being credible. If there's any redeeming value it's Alexandra Daddario. Sure her character is meant to be 30, but looks like a 23 year old she's the only person that did not get on my nerve. At least she attempted to act unlike her other stars and at least she makes it somewhat watchable. Alexandra Daddario is the closest the film ever comes to being appealing weather it's visually or just not wanting to covering your ears when she speaks. Also, the film should have had a different director. I really mean it, director John Luessenhop has about the same creativity as a porno. Which is a good comparison because you always know what going to happen, he's more concern showing us beautiful people than actually telling a story, and ends in way that you question yourself for watching what you just witness.
Texas Chainsaw 3D is inferior in every possible way to the classic Texas Chainsaw Massacre. If it was a reboot or remake than it might have receive a slightly higher rating, but as a sequel to a classic is just setting it up for disappointment.
In the last decade we've seen a remake of the '74 original, plus a prequel to the remake. This latest entry ignores both of those movies, instead acting as a straight sequel to the seventies classic. Of course, we've already had sequels, in '86, '90 and '94 but those films are discounted with this newest incarnation. Confused? Welcome to the world of the horror franchise, where "rebooted" continuity is the order of the day. This film opens by replaying all the kills from Hooper's film, then follows on straight away, ala 'Halloween 2'. This is troublesome for two reasons. Firstly, it ruins the original for anyone who hasn't seen it. (If that's you then you really should correct that oversight, it's a gem.) Secondly, if Daddario's character was born in 1974 it would make her at least 37. The actress is 26 and the character is obviously college aged. We know it's not set in the nineties thanks to the awful contemporary R&B the stereotypical black character (Songz) listens to. This is indicative of the lack of respect modern film-makers have for their audience, particularly those working in the field of quick buck reboots.
Luessenhop's film is admittedly better than the last few entries in the series, but there's little to challenge it. Hooper's original excluded, this is one awful franchise. The big problem here is how much time is wasted trying to develop a plot. There's a period of about twenty minutes in the middle where it actually feels like a slasher flick as Leatherface stalks his victims. Unfortunately it tries to be clever, taking a turn into 'Red Rock West' territory as Daddario finds herself trapped in a small town where everyone seems to be working against her. It's handled awkwardly, generating nothing in the way of tension. Leatherface disappears for most of the film and never feels like much of a threat. Despite having a lot more on-screen gore than the '74 film, this somehow manages to feel a lot more neutered.
I'm sure you could have guessed yourself but, yes, the 3D adds nothing.