Renée Zellweger

This world won't stand long. God won't let it stand this way long.

Have you been shot?

Not lately.

Let's put him in a pot.

Old lady Swanger says you need help. Here I am.

If I cry one tear for my daddy I stole it off a crocodile.

I despise a floggin' rooster.

It is a magic mushroom moment, isn't it?

[shock] How did you learn to do that?

How did you learn to do that?

Do what?

That, that-- the talking thing?

Same way you did, I guess. Mama, dada, honey, you pick it up.

I just know there's something special out there for me.

I wouldn't go near that rooster if I was you. He's the devil I'm sure of it. He's Lucifer himself.

Why I depise a floggin' rooster.

I wouldn't go near that rooster if I were you. He's the devil I'm sure of it. He's Lucifer himself.

Why I despise a flogging rooster!

Forget it. It'll never work.

Why not?

'Cause I hate you.

There's only one business in the world where that's no problem at all.....[She raises her eyebrow, grins slyly and Roxie turned around and change her sad mood into a glad condition.]

There's only one business in the world where that's no problem at all.

We can make a couple hundred a week. Think about it, Roxie. Our faces back in the papers, our names on the marquee.Velma Kelly and Roxie Hart.

Shouldn't it be alphabetical?

That could work.

A couple hundred? Maybe we could ask for a thousand.

We're worth it...

We're worth it.

You think that's lucky? Your mother is a monster! No, its fine. My mother and I have come to an understanding. We've agreed to not understand each other.

And don't think just 'cause you haven't said anything that I don't know what you're up to. I'm talking to you, behind the magazine. Don't you know I could have you arrested for eavesdropping?

Excuse me?

Or are you really an avid reader of "Ladies Home Journal?"

I never miss an issue.

Sure. Yeah. These are a lot like your plays, only a little more... effective.

Sure. Yeah. These are a lot like your plays, only a little more effective.

I'm not afraid to say it. I'm in love with Leonard. Go ahead and laugh, everyone does. We had something beautiful until you came along. You think you can just toss him away like a sack of flour?

Wait. Where were you two?

Out.

Nowhere.

Did you *kiss* her?

Did you kiss her?

Now wait a minute.

I want answers!

Yeah, I kissed her! On the mouth, twice! And I liked it. A lot!

Oh you did, did you?

Yeah!

Thanks.

You're welcome.

So you flying solo, or is the Bullet casting about?

So you flying solo or is the Bullet casting about?

What do you care? You're here to entertain Miss Nipplewidth.

It wouldn't look good for you to get caught in a place like this.

I dare say it wouldn't look good for *anyone* to be caught in a place like this.

I dare say it wouldn't look good for anyone to be caught in a place like this.

Being the slickest operator in Duluth is sort of like being the world's tallest midget, if you ask me!

You know, it's too bad we are so much alike, otherwise we would have gotten along perfectly!

I'll live.

Alone!

So here we are.

Not sure what the next move is.

It happens.

It's the first time for me.

They all say that.

There's something delicious about writing those first few words of a story. You can never quite tell where they will take you. Mine took me here, where I belong.

Number one - shut this, it's freezin'. Number two - shut that door, it's freezin'. I'm layin' on my back, with two fingers poked my ears tryin' to shut out who's got a bag of diamonds and who's carryin' a tray. If you wanna get three feet up a bull's ass, listen to what sweethearts whisper to each other.

Hello. I'm looking for my wife. Alright. If this is where it has to happen, then this is where it has to happen. I'm not letting you get rid of me. How about that? This used to be my specialty. I was good in a living room. Send me in there, I'll do it alone. And now I just... I don't know...but our little company had a good night tonight. A really big night. But it wasn't complete, it wasn't nearly close to being in the same vicinity as complete, because I couldn't share it with you. I couldn't hear your voice, or laugh about it with you. I missed my wife. We live in a cynical world, and we work in a business of tough competitors, I love you. You complete me. And I just...

Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at hello.

Dad: Ciggy? Bridget Jones: No, no, thanks. I've given up again. Dad: Shame. I find them very useful. I take great comfort in the fact they might kill me before things get worse.

Ciggy?

No, no, thanks. I've given up again.

Shame. I find them very useful. I take great comfort in the fact they might kill me before things get worse.

First class, that's what's wrong. It used to be a better meal, now it's a better life.

In this age, optimism like that is a revolutionary act.

Ruby... I'm sorry...

Every piece of this is a man's bullshit... they called this war a cloud over the land but they made the weather then they stand in in the rain and say 'Shit! It's raining!' [starts to cry]

B.O.B.: Wait, is it the whole 'there isn't a jar in the world I can't open' thing again? Did you find a jar you couldn't open? Did it have pickles in it? Where is the giant jar of pickles!?

Wait, is it the whole 'there isn't a jar in the world I can't open' thing again? Did you find a jar you couldn't open? Did it have pickles in it? Where is the giant jar of pickles!?

Ruby... I'm sorry...

Every piece of this is a ma's bullshit... they called this war a cloud over the land but they made the weather then they stand in in the rain and say "Shit!!! it's raining!!!".... (starts to cry)...

Every piece of this is a ma's bullshit... they called this war a cloud over the land but they made the weather then they stand in in the rain and say 'Shit!!! it's raining!' [starts to cry]

Every piece of this is a ma's bullshit... they called this war a cloud over the land but they made the weather then they stand in in the rain and say 'Shit! It's raining!' [starts to cry]

Number one - shut this door, it's freezing. Number two - shut that door, it's freezing. I'm laying on my back, with my fingers poked in my ears trying to shut out who's got a bag of diamonds and who's carrying a tray. If you want to get three feet up a bull's ass, listen to what sweethearts whisper to each other.

Have you been shot?

Not lately.

[On discussing the war's origin] Every piece of this is man's bullshit. They call this war a cloud over the land. But they made the weather and then they stand in the rain and say 'Shit, it's raining!'

Me and Roxie, We just like to say thank you!!!

Me and Roxie, We just like to say thank you!

Thank you!!! Believe us we could not have done it,...without you!!!

Thank you! Believe us we could not have done it, without you!

Every time you get hit, it feels like I'm getting hit, too.

Catastrophe. I can spell it too. Learned it in the same place you did: a school house. "Ruby Thewes. You are a c-a-t-a-s-t-r-o-p-h-e."

Catastrophe. I can spell it too. Learned it in the same place you did: a school house. 'Ruby Thewes. You are a c-a-t-a-s-t-r-o-p-h-e.'

This world won't stand long. God won't let it stand this way long.

First class, that's what's wrong. It used to be a better meal, now it's a better life.

I love you. You... you complete me. And I just...

Shut up, just shut up. You had me at "hello".

Shut up, just shut up. You had me at 'hello'.

I just want to be inspired.

I love him! I love him for the man he wants to be. And I love him for the man he almost is.

Baby what baby? oh!.. Jesus...

Baby what baby? Oh!.. Jesus...

are you scared?(Lilith is trembling) well i'm not..

Are you scared?[Lilith is trembling] Well I'm not...

Now I'll go home and.......de-bunny

Now, I'll go home and... de-bunny.

They call this war a cloud over the land. But they made the weather and then they stand in the rain and say 'Shit, it's raining!'.

They call this war a cloud over the land. But they made the weather and then they stand in the rain and say 'Shit, it's raining!'

They call this war a cloud over the land. But they made the weather and then they stand in the rain and say 'shit, it's raining!'

First of all i'd like to point out the qoute about being burgled was said by roxie hart.... Person: DO you swear to tell the whole truth nothing but the truth so help you god Velma: and then some

You want some advice, well here's a piece of advice from me to you, lay, to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

Stop...just stop. You had me at hello.

Stop... just stop. You had me at hello.

Welcome! There's no place like home!

[dressed as Dorothy] Welcome! There's no place like home!

Thank God.

[silently, to herself] Thank God.

And that was it. Right there. Right there, that was the moment... I suddenly realized that unless something change soon I was going to live a life where my major relationship was with a bottle of wine and I'd finally die fat and alone and be found three weeks later half-eaten by Alsatians, or I was about to turn into Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction.

Interviewer: What do you think about the El Nino phenomenon? Bridget: It's a blip. Latin music's on its way out.

What do you think about the El Nino phenomenon?

It's a blip. Latin music's on its way out.

Wait a minute... nice boys don't kiss like that.

Oh yes, they fuckin' do.

This is an occasion for genuinely tiny knickers.

After all, what's worse than a smug married couple? Lots of smug married couples.

The only thing worse than smug married couple; lots of smug married couples.

Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess with a very bad man between her thighs... Mum, hi.

Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess, with a very bad man between her thighs... Mum... Hi.

i interviewed many children till now but never felt like this

I interviewed many children till now, but never felt like this.

how did you feel

How did you feel?

threatened...

Threatened.

I love my sister. It's being around her I hate.

I love my sister, George. It's being near her that I hate.

He was trying to burgle me.

He was trying to burgle me.

From what I hear, he's been burgling you three times a week for the past month.

From what I hear, he's been burgling you three times a week for the past month.

This is hanging case, and we're ready to go to in front of the jury tomorrow.

Wha-Wha-What do you mean hanging?

You're not so tough now, are you?

What do ya mean hanging?

At least, now that I'm in my thirties, I can hold my drink.

Don't you wanna take my picture?

They say when you're born you're given your eternal soul. The part of you that lives on, lives again. Whatever evil she is,didn't come from us. It was already there. From the moment she came into being, she brought something with her. Something older, destructive. Soul of a demon.

You had me at 'Hello'.