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Kelly Parks

Kelly Parks's reviews do not count toward the Tomatometer®. This is not a Tomatometer-approved critic, and this critic's reviews are not published on a Tomatometer-approved publication.
Biography:

I began doing stand-up in February, 1991 at the Tuesday Open Mike Night at Laff's Comedy Cafe' in Tucson, AZ. Before that I was an Aerospace Engineer specializing in Space Missions Analysis and Orbital Mechanics (a rocket scientist, literally). I got laid off, had too much free time, failed my gang initiation, so of course I turned to comedy. I worked as a full time, by god road comic from March of 1992 through December of 1997, performing all across the country. I got off the road and settled in San Diego in January, 1998, in order to spend more time with my daughter and to work on spec scripts for TV and movies. I still perform, mostly at the Comedy Store in La Jolla, CA. For the last two years of my road career I worked almost always as a feature, and have headlined two one-nighters (on both occasions, I was invited back to do it again). I taught Comedy Defensive Driving (a 6 to 8 hour class) in Texas (for 2 years) and in California (for 3 months -- the pay sucked).

Favorites:

Aliens, Rounders, Silence of the Lambs, Manhunter, Predator 2, The Andromeda Strain, Star Trek: First Contact, Colossus, Cube, Forbidden Planet, Day of the Dead, Near Dark, Quatermass and the Pit, Tremors, The Thing

Location:

San Diego, CA

Reviews

Movies TV Shows
Terminator Salvation (2009) 33% 1/5 EDIT “And have I mentioned the gaping plot holes?” – Feo Amante May 25, 2009 Full Review Star Trek (2009) 94% 3/5 EDIT “Without going into too much detail (to avoid spoilers) let me just say that if you had a mini-blackhole and you wanted to use it to destroy a planet, you do NOT need to drill a hole to the center of the planet first.” – Feo Amante May 25, 2009 Full Review The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008) 21% 2/5 EDIT “Klaatu is here to commit an act of genocide greater than anything Hitler, Stalin or Mao ever dreamed.” – Feo Amante Dec 31, 2008 Full Review Iron Man (2008) 94% 3/5 EDIT “Alright, I'm done with the nitpicking. The science mistakes and the super simple plot bugged me but not enough to ruin my good time.” – Feo Amante May 5, 2008 Full Review Cloverfield (2008) 78% 5/5 EDIT “I watched it at a midnight showing, it's now 2:25 A.M., and if I could go see it again right now I would.” – Feo Amante Jan 18, 2008 Full Review Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007) 12% 3/5 EDIT “All these things add up to a decent sequel that could have used a bit more thought and a different director(s)” – Feo Amante Dec 28, 2007 Full Review I Am Legend (2007) 68% 4/5 EDIT “In other words, they could have had their cool ending and the original very cool ending from the novel combined, for a mega-cool ending that would have been, well, legendary.” – Feo Amante Dec 18, 2007 Full Review 28 Weeks Later (2007) 73% 2/5 EDIT “The camera is so shaky so much of the time that I had no damn idea what was going on!” – Feo Amante May 14, 2007 Full Review The Terminal Man (1974) 50% 4/5 EDIT “The doctors put their tuxes on and go to celebrate, intending to continue the experiment the next day. But Harry, who is much smarter than he seems, has other plans.” – Feo Amante Apr 19, 2007 Full Review Snakes on a Plane (2006) 69% 4/5 EDIT “Sometimes bad movies are so bad their badness is entertaining. But when a movie tries to be entertainingly bad on purpose, is it a good bad movie?” – Feo Amante Aug 21, 2006 Full Review X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) 56% 2/5 EDIT “It's boring, the dialogue is plodding and cliché-ridden, the special effects are sub-par and there are huge, gaping plot holes all over the place.” – Feo Amante May 30, 2006 Full Review Ultraviolet (2006) 9% 1/5 EDIT “I feel bad. I really wanted to like this movie and I cut it every break I could.” – Feo Amante Mar 7, 2006 Full Review Doom (2005) 18% 2/5 EDIT “Where were the Barons of Hell? Where was the Cyberdemon?” – Feo Amante Oct 20, 2005 Full Review A Sound of Thunder (2005) 6% 1/5 EDIT “If I had to choose between seeing this dog again and unanesthetized dental surgery...” – Feo Amante Sep 8, 2005 Full Review The Cave (2005) 12% 2/5 EDIT “You'd think they'd save that as a cool plot twist but whatever.” – Feo Amante Aug 29, 2005 Full Review The Island (2005) 39% 3/5 EDIT “It's not doing well at the box office and, although I'm just guessing, I think the reason for that is the give-away-everything trailer.” – Feo Amante Jul 29, 2005 Full Review War of the Worlds (2005) 76% 3/5 EDIT “George Pal's 1953 movie version of Wells' story is the true standard to measure against and Spielberg suffers by comparison.” – Feo Amante Jun 30, 2005 Full Review Land of the Dead (2005) 75% 2/5 EDIT “The movie is gory but DAY OF THE DEAD was gorier. The action is predictable and in general there's nothing special or impressive about this movie.” – Feo Amante Jun 21, 2005 Full Review Batman Begins (2005) 85% 4/5 EDIT “To do something like this you'd have to be more than just angry or vengeful. You'd have to be obsessive and a little crazy and that's what we see!” – Feo Amante Jun 16, 2005 Full Review Alone in the Dark (2005) 1% 1/5 EDIT “She and Carnby have a history and an awkward love scene.” – Feo Amante Mar 18, 2005 Full Review The Incredibles (2004) 97% 5/5 EDIT “THE INCREDIBLES is a great movie and I can't wait to see it again.” – Feo Amante Dec 15, 2004 Full Review Blade: Trinity (2004) 24% 2/5 EDIT “In fact it's time I tell you the truth: this is not a good movie. I really wanted to like it because I liked the first two and I love the character but what is, is.” – Feo Amante Dec 6, 2004 Full Review The Forgotten (2004) 31% 4/5 EDIT “This is the first movie of this genre that I've ever seen where the behavior of the government agents is believable rather than cartoonish.” – Feo Amante Sep 27, 2004 Full Review Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004) 26% 2/5 EDIT “The one thing I liked about this movie (the one and ONLY thing) was how they explained the big snakes.” – Feo Amante Aug 31, 2004 Full Review Alien vs. Predator (2004) 21% 4/5 EDIT “Did I like AVP? No, I didn't like it. I LOVED it!” – Feo Amante Aug 13, 2004 Full Review
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