Day of the Dead: Bloodline Reviews
I have had the pleasure of watching 1985's Day of the Dead by Romero, But for the sake of not comparing this movie to older movies, I will review this film specifically on the things I noticed, and for the sake of adding in a little humour I'm going to add something I call the 'Silly monkey' count, which is a count of how many times someone does something silly that most intelligent humans would think in a 'zombie apocalypse' situation. While I understand sometimes people have to do stupid things in order for perils to be made or for some suspense, the sheer amount of 'silly monkey' moments baffles me. Hence the counter which is currently at, 0, double points for really silly moments.
The beginning started out ok, there was, conveniently, a donor of blood (Max) who has a lot of antibodies that ties into Zoe at the beginning of the outbreak. First zombie attacks said donor and it follows through to the beginning of the refugee camp/military base which servers as bunker and have to its occupants.
It turns out that a girl gets sick with a fairly bad illness which has a high chance of spreading, Zoe knows where to get medicine to save the population of the bunker, her old work and convinces the big bad lieutenant who, is an asshole for being an assholes sake, that she needs to go and get it.
Silly monkey moment one, they take two vehicles while on a strict schedule and one of the cars breaks down. Reason for Silly monkey: If you're going into a highly dangerous hostile environment, be absolutely sure the vehicle won't break down. Silly monkey count=1
Instead of aborting mission they continue to go to the old workplace of Zoe's to collect the anti-biotics. Some wouldn't risk it but our Zoe needs to save the girl so they press forwards. They open the storeroom to which Zoe conveniently knows the pin which is understandable and get the medicine.
Silly monkey moment when Zoe doesn't alert her team as they are running off before heading to her old workstation, why? for photos that she looks at once and then are never again brought up in the movie. In doing this she not only breaks formation and holds the team up at night in the middle of a zombie-infested city but also alerts the Donor (Max) to her being alive. They go back for Zoe who is taking her sweet bloody time collecting random crap before they leave and while leaving, one of the soldiers is killed. Silly monkey count= 2.
After returning to the bunker she seems surprisingly unphased and doesn't blame her self in the slightest for the death of said soldier (Despite the soldier dying because of her photos, which is poor character portrayal.), but in doing so has basically invited 'Max' into the bunker.
Silly monkey moment when they don't check the vehicles or have personnel around the perimeter when opening the door to a world of zombies. This results in the death of a man looking for a ball because some kid in 'Cliche fashion' loses it and needs to go collect it. The man is the hero, managed to find the boy and send him off to safety (Conveniently) before getting eaten by 'Max'. No security measures for going in and out of the compound. Silly monkey count = 3
Followed shortly after 'Max' gets into the air vents and no one anywhere can here this 'bashing' going on in the vents. For plot purposes I understand but then this man finally hears it and thinks, 'Hmm, must be a rat, better get a hammer and a flash light and go kill it.' Which is not really too bad, but still, at the first sign of noise in the vent, I wouldn't bring a hammer, I'd bring a gun just in case. Silly monkey count = 4
Silly monkey count directly after which is really disappointing, after the lieutenant asshole says a couple of mean things because he's the antagonist of Zoe (For still no clear definable reason), sends the partner of our dear departed 'Smash rat with hammer guy' to fetch him. Upon getting to his work station she says the vent closed and dripping blood. Did she go get help, did she press the alarm, can she recognize blood? Answer to all, No. She reaches her hand out to feel said blood, then opens up vent and gets killed by 'Max'.
Silly monkey count = 6 , an extra point for being a 'REALLY' silly monkey.
Zoe, still showing no clear signs of remorse happens upon 'Max' and low and behold he is captured much to the dismay of Lieutenant asshole (Seriously what's his problem.). Suddenly Zoe is all macho, gets licked to get a blood sample, not much else to it.
Silly monkey moment, Opening the gate!. So Zoe needs two fresh blood samples from two fresh zombies and they devise a plan to open up the gate twice and let one zombie through each time. Now these are several 'armed-to-the-teeth' in soldier gear at the gate. So gate opens, first zombie comes in, gate closes, subdued, get blood sample, kill it. Gate opens again, zombie comes in, gate closes, zombie subdued, blood sample, kill it. Then the soldiers can't hold the gate anymore, so it opens and a whole horde of zombies come rushing in. I can't even begin to describe how easily even a chimp could have mitigated this disaster that pretty much endangered the whole compound. I've even prepared a list but to save time I'll share the top two.
1. Gate bar, lock or support. Gate bars have been used since before christ and it's pretty easy to close a door and keep it shut. Just put down a gate bar kist after you let the second zombie in. Also, it's as if locks don't exist in this movie, not a single door was locked throughout the entire movie which you think, against zombies, would be a good idea. In fact the whole zombie crisis of the party could of been avoided if she'd locked the door to the cadaver room.
2. Kill all but two zombies with non-loud weaponry. Get a couple people with spikes and start stabbing them in the head through the gate. I mean it worked in the walking dead and several other shows, so... ya know. Silly monkey count = 7.
Next up on the list, silly monkey moment where the female soldier has to 'get all up' in the face of the zombie 'Max' who at this point with only half a brain functioning correctly is the most intelligent creature for miles. She threatens him, gets close enough for him to grab her throat, other soldier grabs him, he palms the keys to his cuffs and hides them in his pocket, which, starts his escape!. Silly monkey count= 8
Silly monkey moment, next up on the list, you know that woman who was looking for her partner and opened up a bleeding vent. Prepare to meet someone just as stupid, she chases the girl through the hallway and as she's screaming and running for her life, a guy spots her, stops her, gives her a hug and asks her 'what's the matter' while turning his back to what she was running from. ...... What. This results in him dying which in all honesty if you don't look to see what someone is running from, you probably deserve it. Silly monkey count = 10 , double points for being a REALLY, silly monkey.
Silly monkey moment. So, after opening up the gates and letting all the zombies in and 'in the panic' the girl who was being held hostage by 'Max' instead of running into the well lit bunker away from the zombies and, overall, to her safety. Instead she runs outside into the cold dark night with countless zombies running towards her and being the 'hero', Zoe goes out to rescue her. 'Max' stops for a break after being shot by some bullets, strange for a zombie to let bullets slow him down that much, before going after Zoe and the girl. Silly monkey counter= 11 , would get double points for running into a night filled with zombies outside the compound, but she's a child so, she is forgiven.
Silly monkey moments, plural. Throughout the next bit, soldiers keep turning their backs to zombies, literally constantly which results in a lot of them getting killed. These zombies must have trained in the art of stealth or something for dozens of trained soldiers to keep getting ambushed. silly monkey counter = 12
After the majority of the soldiers die there is left with a stand off, 'Max' who has managed to get away with killing many with his antics manages to track Zoe with her scent like usual but have no fear, without any prelude as to how she learnt he was tracking her scent she manges to fool him with her jacket and perfectly hide inside dirt next to her jacket... like literally right next to it. And while he is distracted she bursts out and cuts him right in the gut!, what does he do, stares at her. Very unzombie like man. She then cuts his head off. Silly monkey count= 14 Girl!, you literally costed lives all over the place because you needed him for the vaccine, seriously!, even after he escaped. Double points for being inconsistent.
To finish it all off, the guy she likes gets bitten and he is about to blow his own head off which honestly would have been the most convincing part of the movie. Instead she says 'Don't worry I can cure you!' and then does so, despite having risked and helped all those people die, the compound over-run by zombies. Not only do they not explain how they cleared out all the zombies that might have wandered to other parts of the bunker but they skip to a sunny day, warm weather and people rebuilding.
Silly monkey moment for the movie itself. What, The-hell. Suddenly, survivors, everyones happy, all is hunky dory and she feels good about herself for having made the vaccine despite with her dumbass antics getting the whole bunker over-run. Silly monkey count= 13.
To rap it all up I'm going to add, While I think sometimes mistakes have to be made to help push a movie along. The sheer amount of mistakes, errors of judgement, failure to adhere to basic survival standards or even recognize possible danger, baffles me.
The most noticable, not telling your team you're pissing off by yourself in the middle of the night in a zombie infested city to get family photos. Not being able to close a gate and letting dozens of zombies get in. Getting emotional and mouthing off at a zombie, unarmed within its grabbing range. Stopping and asking a girl what's wrong with your back turned to something that she is running from, I don't know maybe the histerical screaming and running might indicate 'DANGER'.
Top of the cake though, Opening a vent that was bleeding, I mean that is weapons grade silly, a special kind of silly.
This is not to detract from zombie genre's in general, everyone loves a good zombie movie but this borders on the 'get inebriated with friends and laugh at how bad this movie is' type of film. Other than that, the make up artistry was excellent.
Fortunately, I rented this movie. Otherwise, I'd burn it in a dumpster. Unfortunately, my local family video definitely won't refund me, otherwise, I'd ask for a refund for sure.
I give half star because the beginning of the movie was somehow attractive, but I had to convince myself to find out how terrible the movie could be when keeping on watching it. The acting is garbage, the plot is a mental torment to any audience has a common sense.
The leading role was a disaster, the dumb bi**h Zoe was supposed to be a heroine, but on the contrary, she jinxed anyone who was around.
First incident, she convinced her team to get some vaccines while she could sneak into her old office to grab some photos. Without notifying her team, Zoe intentionally left herself behind in the zombie zone, then had one of her teammates killed who's trying to rescue her, and led her formal admirer who turned to a zombie already to follow them back to the safe house. Did she feel sorry about it? Absolutely not! Zoe felt like she's the only righteous one among others, her team deserves to be killed to save her ass.
Second incident, the Zoe DB turned her so-called boyfriend to against the lieutenant, his brother, to catch some zombies without permission, the result was another disaster. The zombies eventually passed the
barriers and killed a branch of people. When lieutenant questioned our heroine, she claimed that's for research purposes. Did she feel sorry for the consequences because of her arrogance? Again, no.
I tried my best to convince myself to believe the leading actress was not the super villain or the hidden boss in the movie, because the story ended up pretty f**ked up, almost everybody were killed or I shall say, eaten by the zombies in the bunker. Finally, the vaccine was created. Again, Zoe became the new leader in the bunker and she shall be credited for killing dozens to save one life.
Other numerous hilarious acting shall not be listed out because I don't have a whole months to write this thing. Some well armed soldiers got bitten was because totally idiotic reactions. For example, when you come all the way to a location, you checked each corners, you should be sure the path you covered earlier is secured. Why on the earth you'd put your gun away, turned your back towards the direction where someone was screaming and running away from? Why not just put some seasoning on your neck and back to give those zombies a better taste? Come on! I'd be damned if the solider's first reaction was that way while he had survived under zombies attack for such long time!
I bet I am not smart after all, how come I rented this film without checking the reviews first. Or I am simply not smart enough to figure it out this movie is actually a black comedy.