Oct 06, 2013
Certainly this film has good intentions. Rama Burshtein's reason for making this movie was to show the misconceptions about arranged marriages in orthodox Jewish communities. For one, I did not know that the woman made the decision as to whom she gets to marry. That's certainly something new. But, at the same time, it's not exactly a favorable portrayal of arranged marriages either because the woman has absolutely no freedom to do as she pleases and to marry whomever she wants to marry after a period of courting. Basically, the way the arranged marriages work in this film, it's almost like a contract and the woman is used as a bargaining chip. So while the movie certainly sheds some misconceptions about arranged marriages, it also brings up other issues about the freedom these women have to live their lives as they wish. And I understand it's completely different culture and I'm in the outside looking in. But from looking at a character like Frieda, a similar metaphor would be being picked last for a team sport, she's the oldest one in her family and no one has made an offer to marry her. Understandably, this very obviously affects her emotionally as she feels that she isn't worth marrying, for whatever reason that may be. And I think that's a problem as these women are nothing more than negotiating tactics. And I don't mean to shit on an entire culture, that's just how it looks to someone who's not living in that bubble. But I did think this film was really good as it doesn't easily provide easy answers to the questions it raises. Basically the movie deals with Shira struggling to make a decision about whether or not to marry her sister's widower, as he has decided he's moving to Belgium and taking his son with him. Shira's mother was devastated by the death of Esther and she wouldn't be able to handle Yochay leaving with her grandson, so she proposes that Shira and Yochay get married. Right off the bat you have someone who's only proposing this for purely selfish reasons. It's understandable that Rivka, the mother, wouldn't want for her grandson to be taken away, especially after the death of her daughter, but she's putting her own daughter's life and happiness at risk by pressuring her to marry him. It's a well-written character. Really, all the characters in the film are well-written, because their motivations are complex and not so black and white as things are in most movies. Shira struggles with the fact of whether to do this for her family, basically sacrificing spending years together with a man she does not like, in order to giver her family, read: her mother, a couple of years of happiness with their grandson. I got the impression that Shira only did this for her family, as I don't think that, for one, second she was ever truly interested in Yochay and she sacrificed her own happiness for that of her family. Yochay also has complex motivations, he only wants for his son to have a mother, perhaps because of the culture he was raised in. Even if that means also being with someone he isn't particularly interested in. I liked this movie because it chose to tell its story in a more subtle and nuanced manner. This is an example of a movie where less is more. And the movie is stronger because of that, it's layered and complex. Understandably, some people may not have the patience to sit through this movie because of the way it is filmed and edited together, the movie gives off the appearance of not saying much. But it does have a lot to say about self-sacrifice, loss, importance of family, and other themes. This is a very good film, with some excellent acting and writing. It might not be for everybody, but it's a damn good movie.
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