I Love You...Don't Touch Me!

1997

I Love You...Don't Touch Me! (1997)

TOMATOMETER

40%

——

Critic Consensus: No consensus yet.

AUDIENCE SCORE

42%

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Movie Info

In this independent comedy about the pitfalls of romance in the 1990s, Katie (Marla Schaffel) is a 25-year-old aspiring songwriter living in Los Angeles. Katie is also a virgin; she's been saving herself for the perfect man, but with the passage of time, she's becoming more firmly convinced that he doesn't actually exist. Katie frequently commiserates about the sad state of her love life with her friend Janet (Meredith Scott Lynn), who left her virginity behind a long time ago in the pursuit of a good orgasm but isn't having any more luck in landing her dream man. Katie is good friends with Ben (Mitchell Whitfield), a sweet but nebbishy guy who is crazy about Katie and wants to move their relationship from the platonic to the romantic. Katie, however, doesn't think he's the right man, and she prefers to keep him at arms length; she's shocked (but probably shouldn't be) when Ben ends up sleeping with Janet. When Katie meets Richard Webber (Michael Harris), a successful British songwriter, she thinks that she may have finally found the handsome prince she's been waiting for, but she soon discovers that he's merely a charming frog with a lot of empty promises. Julie Davis, who wrote, produced, directed, and edited I Love You . . . Don't Touch Me!, also appears in a supporting role as Lisa.
  • Rating:
    R
  • Genre:
    Comedy, Romance
  • Directed By:
    Julie Davis
  • Written By:
    Julie Davis
  • In Theaters:
     wide
  • On Disc/Streaming:
  • Runtime:
  • Studio:
    Big Hair Productions

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Cast

Marla Schaffel
as Katie
Mitchell Whitfield
as Ben
Meredith Scott Lynn
as Janet
Michael Harris
as Richard Webber
Darryl Theirse
as Jones
Nancy Sorel
as Elizabeth
Wally Kurth
as David Barclay
Julie Ariola
as Mom
Victor Raider-Wexler
as Dad
Jack McGee
as Lou
Sara Van Horn
as Analyst
Debbie Munroe
as Margo
Tim De Zarn
as Vagrant
Janine Venable
as Deirdre
George Saunders
as Ted
Michael A. Candela
as Audition Man
Ramesh Pandey
as Bob Yager
Jackie Debatin
as Jenny
Nell Balaban
as Nina
Julie Davis
as Lisa
Geoffrey Infeld
as Club Sin Hunk No. 1
Mark St. James
as Club Sin Hunk No. 2
Shannon McLeod
as Ben's Dream Date
Melanie Wachsman
as Naked Blonde
Julia Bruglio
as Naked Woman in Shower
Andrew Camp
as Clark's Lover
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Critic Reviews for I Love You...Don't Touch Me!

All Critics (10) | Top Critics (1)

This woman is so grating, so self-absorbed, and so without a sense of humor, you can't be sympathetic to her self-inflicted chastity. Katie deserves to be alone. Sadly, she's wound up on the screen.

Jan 7, 2003
Critics Inc./America Online

Comes billed as a progressive, eccentric romantic comedy, but at its heart, it's a pessimistic, cynical, and very traditional.

Nov 18, 2002 | Rating: 1.5/5 | Full Review…
Goatdog's Movies

Provides a clever and comic survey of the dating scene and the complicated nature of sexual politics.

Mar 2, 2002 | Full Review…
Spirituality and Practice

Seems longer than the rough cut of Titanic.

Jan 1, 2000 | Full Review…
Film Journal International
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