My Bloody Valentine

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Total Count: 17


Audience Score

User Ratings: 9,328
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Movie Info

This Canadian slasher film features a disgruntled miner cutting out people's hearts with a pick-axe. Most of the film takes place in the mine itself, where partying teens are pursued by the maniac in some surprisingly well-directed chase and stalking sequences.


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Critic Reviews for My Bloody Valentine

All Critics (17) | Top Critics (2) | Fresh (8) | Rotten (9)

Audience Reviews for My Bloody Valentine

  • Oct 07, 2017
    Normally an overabundance of Dutch angles would reignite queasy memories of Battlefield Earth and its tilted ignominy but when they are in a mine that culminates with a supposedly erotic sex scene, they can be easily forgiven. However, the romp is truncated short when the blonde bombshell is impaled on an axe and the footage switches to a grainy, non-MPAA-approve chest chasm. Clearly, the film was a victim of puritanical censorship upon release and it is obvious whenever the killer strikes. Certainly, a beheading while climbing up a ladder is a sleazy babel but the effect of transitioning to an image with cigarette burns neutralizes the harshness. Apparently this town's economy is dependent on the barely solvent mine in which they excavate... an undefined ore. The reaction to a raw heart in a Valentine's Day box is just shy of a fatigued shrug ("It can't be happening again."). This sluggish Canuckploitation horror flick borders unsteadily towards self-parody with the barkeep's recollection of Harry Warden approaching glib Kevin Williamson self-awareness ("Beware the 14th!"). They are seriously tentative about cancelling a dance? The fox trot and other Terpsichore displays are that important? Even though they're middle-aged miners (based on the casting), the day-laborers in Valentine's Bluff act like sex-starved frat boys (towel snapping, pranks with karyo syrup, etc.) which automatically decreases our hope for their survival. On top of subpar motivation, the love triangle at the center only serves to cushion the spaces between slice-and-dice indulgences. Slasher POV was a staple during the 80's and the addition of a helmet wheezing sounds hilariously similar to an iron lung. The most punishable sin is how it retreats whenever Warden's ax is about to sink into someone else and the drudgery through the shafts at the end is a bore. Despite the drawn-out third act, the mine cart fight and pick-ax duel is bountiful, if short-lived fun.
    Cory T Super Reviewer
  • Aug 26, 2017
    The kind of crappy slasher that doesn't even manage to be fun, with pedestrian dialogue and a repetitious plot that basically says that men are jerks and women are weak and whiny, forcing us to put up with two ridiculous machos at each other's throats the whole time.
    Carlos M Super Reviewer
  • Jun 09, 2016
    One of the best slashers from the 80s, My Bloody Valentine had all you needed in a horror film: Killer with rules, teenage lovebirds, scary costume, iconic weapon. It wasn't really that gory but the lighting combined with the atmosphere were good enough to give you the creeps.
    Sylvester K Super Reviewer
  • Apr 27, 2015
    I've come to the realization that one of my favorite things to do, even though I've done it twice, that I can think of, is ordering pizza and then watching a campy 80s horror movie. I remember doing it with Fright Night a year or so ago and I had a lot of fun. I don't know what it is about the combination of pizza and an 80s horror movie but it's, honestly, a perfect combination. With that out of the way, I reviewed the remake on here and I thought it was a terrible movie. Just terrible. I don't honestly remember much of the film itself, other than I hated it, so I cannot really compare the two. But, by and large, it's similar with the exception of the reveal of who the villain is. I wouldn't call this movie good, at all. Nor would I even go as far as to call it above average. But, you know what, I had a blast watching this film. I don't know what I could say that was good about this movie. Because I think its camp-heavy factor come from the fact that the movie 34 years old. Who knows. Maybe this was considered campy even back in the day, but I somehow don't buy that. Not that I think it was taken all that seriously either. But yes a lot of these 80s horror movies have a certain charm about them that makes them a lot of fun to watch regardless of whether they're actually good or not. And I think this is the perfect example of it. It's probably the type of film that would work best watching with a group of friends so you can spend a good time laughing with and at the movie. The film itself isn't actually incompetently made, far from it. It's just that everything surrounding that, the story and the acting, are honestly a little goofy. The thing that sucks, however, is that the version on Netflix is the version that was edited for theaters to avoid an X rating. To think of how far horror movies have come that the thought of this movie getting an X rating in this day and age just seems laughable as shit. There's, apparently, a 99 minute version of the film that was the original edit of the film. This version has never been released on VHS or DVD and apparently was aired only once by a cable channel. But, and this is probably true, a lot of that is probably expository. I'm sure the 99 minute version is gorier, but I doubt that there's 9 additional minutes of violence in the film. I don't think there's enough violence in the film that there's a conceivable way that the 9 minutes that were cut out were 100% gore. I'd still like to see the original cut of the film however. I can't really say much else, honestly. This isn't a good movie and it's probably tame by modern horror standards, but it's so campy that I honestly had a lot of fun watching this. It's just an easy film to watch and it'd probably be even more fun if you watched this with a group of friends. Not good, but I would recommend it as a silly Netflix watch.
    Jesse O Super Reviewer

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