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Ho, ho, oh no.
All Critics (21) | Top Critics (3) | Fresh (5) | Rotten (16) | DVD (2)
[A] hilariously bad stab at sci-fi. Jun 24, 2006 | Full Review…
[A] hilariously bad stab at sci-fi.
Adults may find it obvious and as square-cut as cheese. But let's face it. From now till you-know-when, the youngsters are all that matter. May 9, 2005 | Rating: 3/5 | Full Review…
Adults may find it obvious and as square-cut as cheese. But let's face it. From now till you-know-when, the youngsters are all that matter.
Howard Thompson
The plot, such as it is, proves it is possible to insult the intelligence of a three-year-old. Jun 13, 2001 | Rating: 1/5 | Full Review…
The plot, such as it is, proves it is possible to insult the intelligence of a three-year-old.
Nick Cramp
Just how incompetent is this picture? Its ineptitude applies even to the opening credits, which lists a "custume" designer. Dec 29, 2018 | Rating: 1/4 | Full Review…
Just how incompetent is this picture? Its ineptitude applies even to the opening credits, which lists a "custume" designer.
Matt Brunson
There's no warmth to the movie, no good cheer or happiness, and (at risk of bathing in bathos), ne'er a hint of what makes the season special. Dec 10, 2016 | Full Review…
There's no warmth to the movie, no good cheer or happiness, and (at risk of bathing in bathos), ne'er a hint of what makes the season special.
Jason Bailey
This is, without exaggeration, one of the single worst films ever made, which hasn't prevented it from becoming a cult classic. Dec 3, 2012 | Rating: 1.5/4 | Full Review…
This is, without exaggeration, one of the single worst films ever made, which hasn't prevented it from becoming a cult classic.
A terrible product of people who wanted to appeal to kids but likely never met one in their lives... Dec 18, 2010 | Full Review…
A terrible product of people who wanted to appeal to kids but likely never met one in their lives...
Felix Vasquez Jr.
Who knew this would be the pinnacle of Pia Zadora's career? Oct 22, 2005 | Rating: 0/5
Who knew this would be the pinnacle of Pia Zadora's career?
Pete Vonder Haar
Better than 'Mars Needs Women', but worse than 'Teenagers from Outer Space' . . . Dec 24, 2004 | Full Review…
Better than 'Mars Needs Women', but worse than 'Teenagers from Outer Space' . . .
James O'Ehley
White Christmas on a red planet, and not as bad as some people insist. Dec 16, 2004 | Rating: 2.5/5
White Christmas on a red planet, and not as bad as some people insist.
Phil Hall
shot in that hopeless, bad filmmaking style ... with the delayed, artificial rhythm of a trans-Atlantic phone call Oct 27, 2004 | Rating: 1/5
shot in that hopeless, bad filmmaking style ... with the delayed, artificial rhythm of a trans-Atlantic phone call
Jake Euker
Low expectations met. Oct 25, 2004 | Rating: 0/5
Low expectations met.
Steve Crum
A cult Christmas classic, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" concerns Martians and their selfish, perturbed children who have no fun and hope that Santa's goodwill will come to their planet. The Martians come to Earth, kidnap some kids, then Santa, and take them back to their planet. Some of the Martians dislike the idea of letting Santa on their planet, and plot to kill him and the children, but are thwarted time and again. The film isn't inherently bad: it has a logical plot, the performances aren't all that bad, and it's message of letting kids have fun is inspiring. The reason it's so ridiculous is the premise itself. That and the costuming is horrible, like, ridiculously bad. The Martians are all in green-face, the elves are all dwarves, and the Martian children look and sound like practiced wind-up dolls. While this isn't the best bad movie it's rather entertaining and fun for the entire family, even with its constant plot device of children killing alien life forms.
Super Reviewer
I just happened to catch this movie on TV the other night, unfortunately. It's got an interesting story, which may have been the inspiration for Disney's new movie Mars Needs Moms, because in this movie the kids of mars need a Santa. This movie is complete cheese, with bad actors, dialogue, special effects, directing, the works! An interesting bad movie, though.
In the right company and with loads of "adult" beverages, this one could be a scream. But watch it alone and you'd wish you were dead just to escape a world that would allow crap like this to be produced.
The ultimate Christmas cheese!
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