Mary Poppins Returns
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All Critics (5)
| Fresh (1)
| Rotten (4)
The Intruders isn't particularly scary and it's not at all psychologically acute.
I hardly see the need for this watered-down twist on that '70s TV-movie Bad Ronald.
The Intruders would like to be more clever than it is, but it's hamstrung by a script that's a bit of a fixer-upper.
The Intruders stacks the deck with all the familiar horror signposts, as if straying from clichés were the most frightening thing of all.
I stopped counting the clichés after a while and just sat back and enjoyed a very photogenic cast and familiar story. The camera loves Miranda Cosgrove, and she's convincing as the tortured young woman.
The indie horror film The Intruders is incredibly dull and monotonous. The story is painfully trite, following a young girl who comes to suspect that there's something strange with the house that she and her father have moved into; possibly related to the mysterious disappearance of the previous occupants. Miranda Cosgrove's performance is dreadful and completely lifeless; bringing no intensity or suspense to the film. And the script is terrible, as it's overly focused on setting up red herrings and doesn't develop the characters. Just a lazy and uninspired film, The Intruders fails to deliver any scares.
I had already written out most of this review. I wasn't quite done with it and I wanted to put the laptop in hibernate so I could come back to this review after I watched the movie I rented, Hector and the Search for Happiness. Naturally, as I do almost every time, I pressed shut down and I closed the web browser so none of my review saved. How fucking stupid of me, right? This time, at least, my fault alone, but this website really needs an automatic Save Draft option on the reviews. This is not the first time I've had to rewrite a review because of this lack of being able to save drafts. Again, this time it's my own fault. But it's something the people on this site need to address. I digress. How many horror movies begin with a family moving into a mysterious new house with a dark past after a traumatic event(s)? This is one of those tropes that we will never, ever be rid of. I don't wanna say it's all downhill from there, because the movie isn't really that bad, it just honestly never really did anything for me. Ultimately this is a movie that you've seen a thousand times before and will most likely see again. At the very least, this isn't the worst of that bunch. But it does deal in pretty much every cliche you've ever heard off, at least in this type of movie. Nobody believes Rose at first when she starts making her claims and they attribute her to being off her medication after an episode after her mother's suicide. Taking the latter part, with the suicide, out of the equation, how many times have you seen something like that in a horror movie? Countless, correct? Like I said, this isn't nearly as bad as one would think when describing it on paper. I mean it is a bad movie, don't get me wrong, but it's not horrifically awful in any way whatsoever. It's just lacking focus, scares, and better writing. The acting is perfectly fine, even if the scripting would have you believing otherwise. I mean there's some rought spots with Miranda Cosgrove but, by and large, she plays here role well-enough. Of course, the role doesn't really require much from her to begin with, and it doesn't require much from the entire cast really, so it would've been harder for her to suck in this movie than, say, a movie written and directed by PT Anderson. This movie isn't very scary, at all, which is one of the biggest problems. There's just nothing of interest going on here that should keep you motivated enough to want to watch to its conclusion to see if its story comes to a satisfying end. I mean I rented it for Friday the 13th, since Dracula Untold doesn't seem like a more traditional horror movie. I wanted something traditional to watch and I've seen every good horror movie on Netflix, so this is what I was left with. So I mostly watched it because I paid for it and I wasn't about to stop watching it and lay waste to the money I spent. I wasn't exactly invested in the story, I didn't really care or anything. And the movie doesn't really even try to make you care. It's just hoping that it gets by on its very minimal, and ineffective, scares. There's, honestly, like 3 attempts in the entire movie to scare you and all of those failed miserably. This isn't a deal-breaker to me, since I'm never actually scared by horror movies, it's just that this film's attempts at it are really pitiful. Since the movie isn't interesting, there's a whole lot of filler here. For example, the whole thing about Rose suspecting her neighbor's dad of having something to do with Rachel's disappearance is unnecessary. It makes sense, of course, but you'd still suspect him anyway without the movie pointing you in that direction. It's just the nature of the horror/suspense/thriller genres. You suspect of everybody until they actually reveal who did it. But I guess they were worried about the fact that the movie might be considered too short or something. Quality over quantity is what I say. I don't mean to suggest that this would've been substantially better than it was already, but it would've been a slight improvement. Everything would've flowed much better. Just a movie that's unimpressive and uninteresting, but never a dreadful experience. It's just a movie that is ultimately very lazy and therefore very boring. And, in some ways, that's the worst thing a horror movie can be. If it was at least unintentionally laughable but, in my opinion, it doesn't even have that going for it. Not terrible, but I wouldn't recommend it in any way. There's better stuff you can be watching, like Dead Snow 2. I will continue to pimp DS2 for as along as I can.
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