Mary Poppins Returns
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All Critics (21)
| Top Critics (10)
| Fresh (0)
| Rotten (21)
| DVD (4)
David and Scott Hillenbrand's stoner horror-comedy predictably provides more groans than laughs. The filmmakers had better pray someone in the theater is holding, if you know what we mean.
With stronger actors and real writers, this might've been a vintage comedy you could sink your...nope, not going there.
Energetic but uninspired mix of teen comedy and supernatural silliness.
If your idea of a good time is laughing with repulsion at a humpbacked Romanian nympho with a torture-loving midget dad, or tittering every time a bong appears, a darkened theater awaits you.
Transylmania is such a colossal comedic misfire that it makes the execrable Scary Movie films look like masterworks of Preston Sturges-esque genius by comparison.
It's 90 minutes of idiotic, annoying characters, some haphazard plotting and filmmaking, and little else.
A rancidly unfunny yet pointlessly complex comedy with Ed Gein-level humor, rampant misogyny and homophobia, and a cast of 34-year-old college kids.
It's really bad, but at least it's not Friedberg and Seltzer levels of bad.
This is dinosaur stuff. A rubber chicken and a squirting flower would've really capped things off.
Fart jokes ensue.
'Transylmania' LOOKS like a move. It's on film, after all, and it has a script and actors. But there the resemblance to any real movie ends. This tasteless mess should have been shuttled straight to DVD.
Okay, I know what you're thinking. It's hard to get over how incredibly stupid this movie looks. The thing about this movie is that it's really skillfully made. It's a rather seamlessly crafted farce that totally nails all its laughs. It's just full of tits and vampires in a very schlocky way. The premise of this film is a little bit weak, but I find it kind of funny that it's not the "vampire trying to resurrect his evil loved one" or even the "mad scientist tries to perform head transplant" that I found far-fetched, it was the fact that an idiot manages to convince all his buddies to attend a university in Romania just so he can finally meet his internet sweetheart that I found a little hard to swallow. The elements of the ridiculous in this film are knowingly such, and the writers make them work to thier advantage. In fact, this film's internal logic is really surprisingly strong, and it never breaks any of its rules. I was very impressed and amused by this movie. It's got a really intricate story structure that totally works.
CAST: Patrick Cavanaugh, James DeBello, Tony Denman, Paul H. Kim, Jennifer Lyons, Oren Skoog, David Steinberg, Musetta Vander, Irena A. Hoffman, Natalie Garza, Nicole Garza
DIRECTED BY: David Hillenbrand
SUMMARY: Deep in the heart of Transylvania lies Razvan University, where a group of visiting students is about to get the shock of a lifetime. When not being stalked by vampires and succubi, they're evading Razvan's other resident crazies. Seductive teachers, willing students and a hunchback are all included in this year's curriculum.
MY THOUGHTS: "I knew it was going to be stupid, I knew there would be bad acting, I even knew it probably would be a waste of a rental(and it was). BUT, I thought at least it would probably be funny. Unfortunately I was right about everything, but the funny part. It was such a boring movie. I laughed maybe once, and that was due to Paul H. Kim. He was the only one who was even a bit funny to me. So I will recommend this one, but I warn you it really isn't worth the rental. Well unless these are your types of movies.."
The film is essentially a spoof on vampire films so if you know your vampire lore, or at least your vampires movies, you will laugh. Pretty much a story of a group of not-too-bright American college kids on a semester abroad at the only college that would accept them: The Razvan University. Soon they realize that if the partying doesn't kill them, the vampires just might! The cast includes a couple of stoner dudes, hot twins, the nymphomaniac airhead cheerleader, the guy who figures the way to impress girls is by claiming to be a vampire hunter and the ultra-sexy black leather clad vampire huntress (she reminds me of Catherine Zeta-Jones in Zorro with her swordplay). Add a dwarf, internet romance, gross-out gags, sex toys and what passes for stoner humor.
I'll admit I enjoy a good raunchy college comedy and combining it with a horror film might be a good idea, some day but today isn't the day. I just thought this would have been a vintage comedy I could sink my .......nope, not going there.
it's a beach party movie...only in transylvania...and in 2009, 40 years later and no better at all!
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