Adam Sandler

Adam Sandler

Highest Rated: 92% Uncut Gems (2019)

Lowest Rated: 0% The Ridiculous 6 (2015)

Birthday: Sep 9, 1966

Birthplace: Brooklyn, New York

One of the most endearing goofballs to ever grace the stages of Saturday Night Live, affectionately offensive funnyman Adam Sandler has often been cited as the writer/performer who almost single-handedly rescued the long-running late-night television staple when the chips were down and it appeared to have run its course. Though his polarizing antics have divided audiences and critics who often dismiss him as lowbrow and obnoxious, Sandler's films, as well as the films of his Happy Madison production company, have performed consistently well at the box office despite harsh and frequent critical lashings.Born in Brooklyn on September 9th, 1966, it may come as no surprise that Sandler was a shameless class clown who left his classmates in stitches and his teachers with a handful. Never considering to utilize his gift of humor to pursue a career, Sandler eventually realized his potential when at the age of 17 his brother encouraged him to take the stage at an amateur comedy competition. A natural at making the audience laugh, the aspiring comedian nurtured his talents while attending New York University and studying for a Fine Arts Degree. With early appearances on The Cosby Show and the MTV game show Remote Control providing the increasingly busy Sandler with a loyal following, an early feature role coincided with his "discovery" by SNL cast member Dennis Miller at an L.A. comedy club. As the unfortunately named Shecky Moskowitz, his role as a struggling comedian in Going Overboard (1989) served as an interesting parallel to his actual career trajectory but did little to display his true comic talents.It wasn't until SNL producers took Miller's praise to heart and hired the fledgling comic as writer on the program that Sandler's talents were truly set to shine. Frequent appearances as Opera Man and Canteen Boy soon elevated him to player status, and it wasn't long before Sandler was the toast of the SNL cast in the mid-'90s. While appearing in SNL and sharpening his feature skills in such efforts as Shakes the Clown (1991) and Coneheads (1993), Sandler signed a recording contract with Warner Bros., and the release of the Grammy-nominated They're All Gonna Laugh at You proved the most appropriate title imaginable as his career began to soar. Striking an odd balance between tasteless vulgarity and innocent charm, the album found Sandler gaining footing as an artist independent of the SNL universe and fueled his desire -- as numerous cast members had before him -- to strike out on his own. Though those who had attempted a departure for feature fame in the past had met with decidedly mixed results, Sandler's loyal and devoted fan base proved strong supporters of such early solo feature efforts as Billy Madison (1996) and, especially, Happy Gilmore (1996).His mixture of grandma-loving sweetness and pure, unfiltered comedic rage continued with his role as a slow-witted backwoods mama's boy turned football superstar in The Waterboy (1998), and that same year found Sandler expanding his persona to more sensitive territory in The Wedding Singer. Perhaps his most appealing character up to that point, The Wedding Singer's combination of '80s nostalgia and a warmer, more personable persona found increasing support among those who had previously distanced themselves from his polarizing performances. As the decade rolled on, Sandler also appeared in the action-oriented Bulletproof (1996) and the even more affectionate Big Daddy (1999). In 2002, Sandler starred in a re-imagining of Mr. Deeds Goes to Town, titled simply Mr. Deeds.Beginning in the late nineties, Sandler's Happy Madison production company launched such efforts as Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo (1999), Little Nicky (2000), The Animal and Joe Dirt (both 2001). Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo appeared in (2005), and Grandma's Boy in (2006). Despite critical castigation for scraping the bottom of the barrel with these efforts, Sandler's commercial instinct remained intact.

Photos

Highest Rated Movies

Filmography

Movies

Credit
No Score Yet Hotel Transylvania 4 Dracula 2021
No Score Yet Feeding America Comedy Festival Actor 2020
92% Uncut Gems Actor 2019
No Score Yet Mistério no Mediterrâneo Actor 2019
44% Murder Mystery Nick Spitz 2019
62% Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation Dracula 2018
90% Adam Sandler: 100% Fresh Actor 2018
27% The Week Of Screenwriter Actor Producer 2018
92% The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected) Actor 2017
27% Sandy Wexler Screenwriter Sandy Wexler 2017
9% The Do-Over Max Kessler Producer 2016
56% Hotel Transylvania 2 Dracula Executive Producer Screenwriter 2015
71% I Am Chris Farley Actor 2015
17% Pixels Screenwriter Producer Sam Brenner $66.5M 2015
5% Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 Producer 2015
9% The Cobbler Max Simkin 2015
0% The Ridiculous 6 Screenwriter 2015
86% Top Five Himself $17.1M 2014
33% Men, Women & Children Don Truby $0.6M 2014
14% Blended Producer Jim 2014
7% Grown Ups 2 Lenny Feder Producer Screenwriter $127.5M 2013
40% Here Comes the Boom Executive Producer $45.3M 2012
44% Hotel Transylvania Dracula Executive Producer $148.3M 2012
20% That's My Boy Donny Producer $37M 2012
No Score Yet Sesame Street: Singing with the Stars Actor 2012
3% Jack and Jill Producer Screenwriter Jack Sadelstein/Jill Sadelstein $74.2M 2011
0% Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star Producer Screenwriter $2.4M 2011
14% Zookeeper Producer Donald the Monkey $80.4M 2011
19% Just Go with It Producer Screenwriter Danny $103.1M 2011
10% Grown Ups Producer Screenwriter Lenny Feder $162.1M 2010
69% Funny People George Simmons Executive Producer $51.9M 2009
No Score Yet The Shortcut Executive Producer 2009
33% Paul Blart: Mall Cop Producer $146.4M 2009
26% Bedtime Stories Producer Skeeter $110M 2008
43% The House Bunny Producer $48.3M 2008
37% You Don't Mess With the Zohan Producer Zohan Screenwriter $100.1M 2008
2% Strange Wilderness Executive Producer $6.6M 2008
15% I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry Chuck Levine Producer $119.8M 2007
64% Reign Over Me Charlie Fineman $19.7M 2007
33% Click Producer Michael Newman $137.4M 2006
11% The Benchwarmers Executive Producer Producer $57.7M 2006
16% Grandma's Boy Executive Producer $6M 2006
9% Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo Producer $22.3M 2005
31% The Longest Yard Paul `Wrecking' Crewe Executive Producer $158M 2005
53% Spanglish John Clasky $42.1M 2004
45% 50 First Dates Henry Roth $120.8M 2004
No Score Yet Late Night With Conan O'Brien - 10th Anniversary Special Actor 2004
22% Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star Producer Executive Producer $22.8M 2003
42% Anger Management Executive Producer Dave Buznik $133.8M 2003
57% Pauly Shore Is Dead Actor 2003
No Score Yet Couch Actor 2003
67% Stupidity Actor 2003
22% The Hot Chick Executive Producer Bongo Player 2002
12% Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights Davey/Whitey/Eleanore/Deer Producer $23.4M 2002
79% Punch-Drunk Love Barry Egan $17.9M 2002
1% The Master of Disguise Executive Producer $40.5M 2002
22% Mr. Deeds Longfellow Deeds Executive Producer $126.3M 2002
30% The Animal Townie Executive Producer 2001
11% Joe Dirt Executive Producer $27.1M 2001
22% Little Nicky Executive Producer Screenwriter Nicky $38.6M 2000
22% Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo Executive Producer Actor 1999
39% Big Daddy Sonny Koufax Screenwriter Executive Producer 1999
No Score Yet Saturday Night Live: The Best of Adam Sandler Actor 1999
No Score Yet Saturday Night Live - Game Show Parodies Actor 1999
35% The Waterboy Screenwriter Bobby Boucher Executive Producer 1998
17% Dirty Work Satan (uncredited) 1998
68% The Wedding Singer Robbie Hart 1998
8% Bulletproof Archie Moses 1996
61% Happy Gilmore Screenwriter Happy Gilmore 1996
40% Billy Madison Billy Madison Screenwriter 1995
10% Mixed Nuts Louie 1994
21% Airheads Pip 1994
35% Coneheads Carmine 1993
38% Shakes the Clown Dink 1992
No Score Yet Going Overboard Schecky Moskowitz 1989

TV

Credit
No Score Yet Jimmy Kimmel Live
2003
Guest 2020
2018
2017
2015
2014
2012
2010
No Score Yet Lights Out with David Spade
2019
Panelist 2019
No Score Yet Late Night With Seth Meyers
2014
Guest 2019
2015
No Score Yet The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
2014
Guest 2019
2018
2017
2016
2015
2014
No Score Yet Saturday Night Live
1975
Host Performer 2019
2018
2005
1995
1994
1993
1992
1991
1990
1989
No Score Yet Variety Studio: Actors on Actors
2015
Guest 2018
No Score Yet The Graham Norton Show
2007
Guest 2017
No Score Yet The Late Late Show With James Corden
2015-2019
Guest 2017
2016
No Score Yet The Ellen DeGeneres Show
2003
Guest 2017
2014
No Score Yet Conan
2010
Guest 2017
2016
2015
2014
2013
2012
2011
2010
No Score Yet Charlie Rose
2013-2017
Guest 2017
2004
28% Kevin Can Wait
2016-2018
Jimmy 2016
No Score Yet The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson
2005-2014
Guest 2015
No Score Yet Chelsea Lately
2007-2014
Guest 2014
No Score Yet Late Show With David Letterman
1993-2015
Guest 2014
No Score Yet The Tonight Show With Jay Leno
1992-2014
Guest 2014
2013
2011
2007
2002
No Score Yet Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives
2007
Guest 2013
No Score Yet Jessie
2011-2015
Himself 2013
No Score Yet MTV First
2011-2014
Appearing 2013
No Score Yet Late Night With Jimmy Fallon
2009-2014
Guest 2013
2011
2010
No Score Yet Cupcake Wars
2010-2016
Appearing 2012
56% Breaking In
2011-2012
Executive Producer Producer 2012
2011
No Score Yet Dr. Phil
2002
Guest 2011
No Score Yet The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
1999-2015
Guest 2011
2007
2006
No Score Yet Sesame Street
1969
Appearing 2010
68% American Idol
2002-2016
Appearing 2008
No Score Yet The King of Queens
1998-2007
Jeff 2007
93% Undeclared
2001-2002
Himself 2001
No Score Yet The Chris Rock Show
1997-2000
Guest 2000
1997
100% The Larry Sanders Show
1992-1998
1993
No Score Yet The Cosby Show
1984-1992
Smitty 1988
1987
No Score Yet Rules of Engagement
2007-2013
Executive Producer Producer

QUOTES FROM Adam Sandler CHARACTERS

Max Kessler says: You always have to have a condom in your wallet and an umbrella in your trunk because you never know when you’re gonna fuck in the rain.

Max Kessler says: You always have to have a condom in your wallet and an umbrella in your trunk because you never know when you're gonna fuck in the rain.

Dracula says: [Imitating Mavis] Dad, it's not a fang. Dad I don't think this is the right place for Dennis, right Johnny? [Intimidating Johnny] Oh hey dudeman, it's not me is Mavy. Hey dudeman, I'm afraid to say anything! Hey Dudeman. I'm a Dudeman!

Dracula says: Dad, it's not a fang. Dad I don't think this is the right place for Dennis, right Johnny? Oh hey dudeman, it's not me is Mavy. Hey dudeman, I'm afraid to say anything! Hey Dudeman. I'm a Dudeman!

Frankenstein says: Uh.. Drac? Who.. who you talking to?

Shrunken Heads says: Do not disturb, The count's wigging out in here!

Nicky says: Popeye's chicken is fuckin' awesome!

Jimmy the Demon says: You were gone 10 seconds, what happened?

Nicky says: I got hit by a bright light attached to a lot of metal.

Satan says: That's a train, son, don't stand in front of them.

Sam Brenner says: Oh, God no!

Lt. Col. Violet Van Patten says: "Oh, God no!" What?

Lt. Col. Violet Van Patten says: Oh, God no what?

Ludlow Lamonsoff says: He ate the power pellet. That means Pac-Man has only ten seconds before he eats us!

Sam Brenner says: I'm Donkey Kong Champion of the world.

Lt. Col. Violet Van Patten says: And the Donkey Kong Champion of the world doesn't need patterns.

Sam Brenner says: Reset button!

Rita says: Is there a girl you're seein?

Bobby Boucher says: Seein? I see a lot of girls... I see a lot of guys too.

Rita says: I think that's sexy. You ever been with a guy and a girl at the same time?

Eddie "The Fire Blaster" Plant says: Guards, get me outta here! It's that mean Centipede killer! I hope he don't zap me with his space gun!

Sam Brenner says: How are you, Eddie?

Eddie "The Fire Blaster" Plant says: Sup, Second Place? Oh, and your sidekick here! Presidonut! I didn't know you could have an approval rating so "catatastrophic!"

Old Man says: Koufax is a good egg, he was nice to that kid but he fights like a girl. You like that? I'm right here miss what are you gonna do about it hahahaha.

Sonny Koufax says: What are you drunk Mr Herlihy?

Old Man says: Well, I-I had a few chardonnays, what of it?

Sonny Koufax says: Get off the stand please.

Old Man says: You got it. Got a few problems.

Ramon says: My mother's Swedish

Tommy says: I don't think so. I reckon she's Mexican.

Ramon says: Lying bitch.

Max Simkin says: "i sincerely wish to commit suicide in front of my family"

Max Simkin says: I sincerely wish to commit suicide in front of my family.

Sam Brenner says: Pac-Man's a bad guy?

Sam Brenner says: I've been waiting to do this since 1982.

Sam Brenner says: Are you OK?

Lt. Col. Violet Van Patten says: I'm sitting in my closet and drinking chardonnay from a sippy cup. Do I look OK?

Sam Brenner says: I'm gonna say no.

O'Doyle (Grade 1) says: Mortal Kombat on the Sega Genesis. It's the best video game ever.

Billy Madison says: I disagree, it's a very good game but I think Donkey Kong is the best game ever.

O'Doyle (Grade 1) says: Donkey Kong sucks!

Billy Madison says: You know something? You suck!

Dracula says: I've got to fix this kid, now!

Dracula says: We have to teach this kid how to be a monster.

Dracula says: Oh, he'll get his fangs, he's just like me...just look at him!

Dracula says: I've been the happiest vampire in the world!

Sam Brenner says: Did you play space invaders recently?

Ludlow Lamonsoff says: Yes. How did you know?/Why?

Ludlow Lamonsoff says: Yes. How did you know? Why?

Sam Brenner says: Cuz you're invading my space. Back off.

Sam Brenner says: Also known as

Ludlow Lamonsoff says: Your worst nightmare!

Sam Brenner says: Why...

Ludlow Lamonsoff says: I believe that some alien life force sent down sent down real life video games to attack us.

Sam Brenner says: That makes sense.

Sam Brenner says: Pac Man's a bad guy?

Happy Gilmore says: Green jacket, gold jacket who gives a crap?

Danny says: You dropped your purse.

Joanna Damon says: Can I sit for ten seconds without getting hit on? Thank you.

Danny says: I was just letting you know you dropped your purse.

Madam Mambuza says: Will you stop banging those drums!

Salesman says: I'm sorry. I'm just really getting into your story.

Michael Newman says: Your dad's stereo blows? That's too bad.

Kevin O'Doyle says: That's not what I said. That's not what I said!!!!

Samantha Newman says: Daddy how much longer are you gonna live?

Michael Newman says: One minute...

Samantha Newman says: One minute! Daddy not one minute!

Michael Newman says: Oh no I'm not dying. I'm gonna live for 200 years. Is that enough for you and me?

Michael Newman says: Hey! There are families here! Show some respect you pieces of shit!

Firecracker Teen says: Shut up old man!

Michael Newman says: Don't light another damn one!

Firecracker Teen says: Ooooh!!!!

Donna Newman says: She has so many problems why do you have to be so mean?

Michael Newman says: I don't know. I mean, hello?

Janine says: You know way too much about me. I never should've done that Montel Williams show.

Michael Newman says: Even Montel Williams thought you were crazy and he's seen a lot of shit.

Janine says: I was desperate for companionship. All of my husbands emotionally abandoned me.

Michael Newman says: They went to work. You had sex with their unemployed brothers. Your a horn dog.

Donna Newman says: Michael!

Michael Newman says: Samantha? Since when did you get boobs?

Samantha at 14 Years Old says: Same time you did dad.

Davey Stone says: Smell ya later, poopsicle!

Whitey Duvall says: Technical foul!

Michael Newman says: Cool. I can skip chapters!

Michael Newman says: Cool. I can skip chapters!

Michael Newman says: Cool. I can skip chapters!

Barry Egan says: I laugh. I laugh and laugh, even when I'm alone.

Professor says: Well! Mama's wrong again!

Bobby Boucher says: No, You're wrong Colonel Sanders.

Barry Egan says: I didn't ask for a shrink, that must've been somebody else. Also, that pudding isn't mine. Also, I'm wearing this suit today because I had a very important meeting this morning, and I don't have a crying problem.

Barry Egan says: You can go to places in the world with pudding. That's funny.

Barry Egan says: At that restaurant, I beat up the bathroom. I'm sorry.

Barry Egan says: I'm lookin' at your face and I just wanna smash it. I just wanna fuckin' smash it with a sledgehammer and squeeze it. You're so pretty.

Lena Leonard says: I want to chew your face and I want to scoop out your eyes and I want to eat them and chew them and suck on them.

Barry Egan says: Ok. This is funny. This is nice.

Barry Egan says: I don't know if there is anything wrong, because I don't know how other people are.

Barry Egan says: I didn't do anything. I'm a nice man. I mind my own business. So you tell me that's that, before I beat the hell from you.

Donny says: Who the fuck is rich in this house?

Happy Gilmore says: uh oh happy learned how to putt

Happy Gilmore says: Uh oh, Happy learned how to putt.

Dracula says: what my hand in a stan shoes?

Dracula says: What my hand in a stan shoes?

Jonathan says: what japan eating lamb stew?

Jonathan says: What japan eating lamb stew?

Lenny Feder says: Open the window.

Dracula says: Human blood is so fatty and you never know where its been.

Happy Gilmore says: The price is wrong, bitch.

Charlie Fineman says: "I'm more worried about you, Johnson. I'm more worried about you."

Charlie Fineman says: I'm more worried about you, Johnson. I'm more worried about you.

Dracula says: I always thought the worst thing ever would be seeing you go, but the worst is seeing you unhappy.

Billy Madison says: WHERE'S MY SNACK PACK?!

Billy Madison says: Where's my snack pack!

Juanita says: I thought I was yo snack pack??

Juanita says: I thought I was your snack pack?

Longfellow Deeds says: I got wicked bad frost bite when I was in the scouts. Check it out.

Longfellow Deeds says: You said that you didn't know who I was, and it made me realize... I don't know who I am. So I started working on it, and here's what I've got so far: My name is Babe Bennett. I grew up in Sayasset, Long Island. I have brown eyes and I don't know what my natural hair colour is anymore. When I was in fifth grade, I got a crush on Walter Kronkite, and... and I really did have that Holly Hobby notebook I was telling you about. I love Bruce Springsteen, Allman Roka and Abbott and Costello movies. I don't like liquorice, or my ankles. Most importantly, I know that I messed up real bad, and I'd be willing to spend the rest of my life begging you to give me another chance, because I am so deeply in love with you, and I know that it's definitely that forever kind of love that...

Longfellow Deeds says: You said that you didn't know who I was and it made me realize, I don't know who I am. So I started working on it and here's what I've got so far; My name is Babe Bennett. I grew up in Sayasset, Long Island. I have brown eyes and I don't know what my natural hair color is anymore. When I was in fifth grade, I got a crush on Walter Kronkite and I really did have that Holly Hobby notebook I was telling you about. I love Bruce Springsteen, Allman Roka. and Abbott and Costello movies. I don't like liquorice or my ankles. Most importantly, I know that I messed up real bad and I'd be willing to spend the rest of my life begging you to give me another chance because I am so deeply in love with you and I know that it's definitely that forever kind of love.

Longfellow Deeds says: You're crazy. You have beautiful ankles.

Longfellow Deeds says: Oh, I get it... You all invited me here so you could look down on me. Well, let me tell you that here you may all laugh at me, but down in Mandrake Falls we would laugh at you all.

Longfellow Deeds says: Oh, I get it.You all invited me here so you could look down on me. Well, let me tell you that here you may all laugh at me, but down in Mandrake Falls we would laugh at you all.

Longfellow Deeds says: You didn't really fall out of an apple tree, did you?

Longfellow Deeds says: Don't be nervous, go ahead. Didn't feel it. Isn't that awesome. Oh, yeah, enjoy the force. I know you're starting to like it aren't ya? You sick! You sick! Why would you do that to me? I'm just kidding you, pal.

Longfellow Deeds says: I can't run a company... I can't even run my own life!

Longfellow Deeds says: I can't run a company. I can't even run my own life!

Babe Bennett says: I'm of Swedish ancestry.

Longfellow Deeds says: Really?

Babe Bennett says: Yes. My grandfather was in ABBA.

Longfellow Deeds says: I promise to love you for fifty years more / Even when your bosoms sag down to the floor.

Longfellow Deeds says: I promise to love you for fifty years more. Even when your bosoms sag down to the floor.

Longfellow Deeds says: How did I get into these pajamas?

Emilio says: I changed you. I was very gentle, sir.

Longfellow Deeds says: Oh, no. They're gonna know my name is Longfellow.

Longfellow Deeds says: Ma'am, you were just the victim of a New York City mugger. As I suspected, he was a coward and a weakling, and also wore more cologne than any man should wear.

Jan says: I always wanted to be a man!

Longfellow Deeds says: Okay, well I guess that explains a lot...

Longfellow Deeds says: Okay, well I guess that explains a lot.

Longfellow Deeds says: So how is the elevator business treating you, Reuben?

Reuben says: Oh, it has its ups and downs.

Longfellow Deeds says: Holy shit. Let's get cracking.

Longfellow Deeds says: Yeah I bet you know what it's like to get all riled up Johnny Mac.

Longfellow Deeds says: How you doin', pal? I got your pizza for you, just the way you like it.

Crazy Eyes says: Oh, yes. French Fries and Oreos, you know me all too well, Deeds.

Longfellow Deeds says: It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

Longfellow Deeds says: Bu-bu-bu-bu-bullshit!

Palmer says: [finds wedding ring in Danny's bag] What's this?

Danny says: A circle?

Palmer says: I can't wait to Twitter this to all my friends.

Katherine says: Oh, I forgot, you're 15. [Danny accidentally kicks Palmer with the intention of kicking Katherine]

Palmer says: Ouch! Did you just kick me?

Danny says: No I did not. Did you just kick her? Why did you kick her?

Brian Madison says: Oh Billy, Billy boy, when are you going to find whatever it is you are looking for?

Billy Madison says: Here's a nice piece of shit!

Veronica says: Quiet. So let's all open our "Reading Is Fun" books to page sixty nine.

Billy Madison says: Sixty nine!

Veronica says: Don't you think it's a little pathetic that just because of who your is Father, you get to do school all over again?

Veronica says: Don't you think it's a little pathetic that just because of who your father is, you get to do school all over again?

Billy Madison says: Yes, I do.

Brian Madison says: Billy, could you step in here a moment? I have big news.

Billy Madison says: ERIC, IS PREGNANT?

Billy Madison says: ERIC IS PREGNANT?

Billy Madison says: I don't know. I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.

Billy Madison says: I swear to God I'm sick. I can't go to school.

Juanita says: If you're gonna stay home today, you can help me shave my armpits.

Billy Madison says: Oh my God. I'll go to school.

Bobby Boucher says: Mama, when did Ben Franklin invent electricity?

Mama Boucher says: That's nonsense, I invented electricity. Ben Franklin is the Devil!

Bobby Boucher says: Excuse me, ladies, while I just go hang myself.

Mama Boucher says: Bobby, deh ever catch dat gorilla that busted outa da zoo and punched you in da eye?

Bobby Boucher says: No Mama, the search continues.

Bobby Boucher says: And I like Vicki, and she like me back! And she showed me her boobies and I like them too!

Jonathan says: Are these monster gonna kill me?

Dracula says: Not as long as they think you're a monster.

Jonathan says: That's kinda of racist.

Dracula says: Good morning Mavey Wavey!

Lenny Feder says: Are you peeing or is a diesel truck turning off? What the hell is that?

Marcus Higgins says: Can you have sex with them when they're pregnant?

Lenny Feder says: Well, McKenzie can because the baby thinks it's getting a Tootsie roll.

Lenny Feder says: Where is Sascatchatoon?

Marcus Higgins says: Hey, what's up, Lenny? Buddy, I thought you were gonna start working out.

Lenny Feder says: What does that mean?

Marcus Higgins says: Um... you're fat.

Robbie Hart says: But the worst thing is: that Me, Fatty, Sideburns Lady, and the mutants over at Table 9, will never ever find a way to better the situation, because apparently we have nothing to offer the opposite sex.

Robbie Hart says: Hey, psycho - we're not gonna discuss this, OK, it's over. Please get out of my Van Halen t-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up.

Robbie Hart says: I don't even know your last name.

Glen Gulia says: It's Guglia. [says it Gulia]

Robbie Hart says: Guglia? Oh, so Julia's last name's gonna be Guglia. Julia Guglia! That's funny!

Glen Gulia says: [unamused] Why is that funny?

Robbie Hart says: I - don't know.

Davey Stone says: *singing* if i make fun of your crazy feet, or give sugar cookies to Miss Diabetes

Whitey Duvall says: *singing* That's not only a technical foul...but possibly a homicide

Michael Newman says: What is this a porno or something? Is that my parents?!

Morty says: They're making you. Like bunny rabbits.

Michael Newman says: Get me outta here!

Donny says: I don't think Charlie Sheen would understand what's going on here.

Donny says: I don't think Charlie Sheen would understand what's going on here.

Jill Sadelstein says: (to Otto) You don't look homeless to me, you're fat! You're Al Quida!

Jill Sadelstein says: [to Otto] You don't look homeless to me, you're fat! You're Al Quida!

Donny says: Awww come on Vanilla bean latte...

Dracula says: Sheep!

Griffin the Invisible Man says: [After driving through the forest] Woo High Five, Don't Leave Me Hangin'!

Dracula says: Ahh.. Lots of sheep!

Wayne says: I Got This One! [He then leaps out of the car, Then the sound of garbling up is heard as Wayne then returns to the car, burping up wool]

Wayne says: [Everyone looks at Wayne after the see a sheep-less road with some disgust] What, Now there's no sheep on the road. Let's Go!

Murray says: That was pretty sick man!

Wayne says: You Eat Lamb Chops, It's The Same Thing!