Denis Leary

Highest Rated: 100% Burn (2012)

Lowest Rated: 10% Strictly Business (1991)

Birthday: Aug 18, 1957

Birthplace: Worcester, Massachusetts, USA

Boston-born Denis Leary is the sneering, tousle-haired comedian who popularized the cautionary phrase "two words." (His routine went something like this: "Regarding Bill Clinton's foreign policy, two words: Jimmy...Carter.") Best known for his many MTV appearances, Leary excels in playing characters who wavered between quiet sarcasm and howling insanity. His one-man show No Cure for Cancer premiered in New York in 1991, scoring a hit with its "intellectual guerilla" comedy. Among Leary's numerous films were National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon (1993), Judgment Night (1993), and Operation Dumbo Drop (1995). His best screen showing was as the beleaguered burglar and reluctant kidnapper in The Ref (1994). He later starred in Wag the Dog (1997), Jesus' Son (1999), and Joe Mantegna's directorial debut, Lakeboat (2000). Leary also served as a producer of the 2001 film Blow. In 2001, he starred as a New York detective in a night time drama called The Job. The series was cancelled before the end of the second season, but Leary was soon back in the movies, lending his voice to the character of Diego in the animated feature Ice Age. Then in 2004, Leary took on the character that would come to define the second leg of his career, accepting the lead role of firefighter Tommy Gavin on the FX series Rescue Me. Critically acclaimed and renowned for pushing the borders of cable television, the show proved to be a huge hit, and Leary won an Emmy for his performance. After the show wrapped in 2011, Leary would spend the followng years appearing in projects like The Amazing Spider Man.

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Highest Rated Movies

Filmography

MOVIES

		CREDIT
17%	Ice Age: Collision Course	Diego	2016
No Score Yet	Ice Age: The Great Egg-Scapade	Diego	2016
No Score Yet	Freaks Of Nature	Rick Wilson	2015
No Score Yet	Cosmic Scrat-tastrophe	Diego	2015
60%	Draft Day	Coach Penn	2014
No Score Yet	Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas	Actor	2013
100%	Burn	Executive Producer	2012
38%	Ice Age: Continental Drift	Diego	2012
72%	The Amazing Spider-Man	Captain Stacy	2012
91%	Joan Rivers: A Piece Of Work	Actor	2010
46%	Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (Ice Age 3)	Diego	2009
77%	Recount	Michael Whouley	2008
57%	Ice Age 2: The Meltdown	Diego	2006
No Score Yet	When Stand Up Stood Out	Actor	2005
No Score Yet	Comedy Central Roast of Jeff Foxworthy	Actor	2005
No Score Yet	Comedy Central Roast of Denis Leary	Actor	2004
No Score Yet	Complete Denis Leary	Actor	2004
No Score Yet	Richard Pryor - I Ain't Dead Yet #%$#@!! Uncensored	Actor	2004
85%	The Secret Lives of Dentists	Slater	2003
36%	Double Whammy	Ray Pluto	2002
77%	Ice Age	Diego	2002
No Score Yet	Dawg	Doug Menford	2002
No Score Yet	Sand	Teddy	2002
42%	Final	Bill	2001
55%	Blow	Producer	2001
14%	Company Man	Off. Fry	2001
83%	Lakeboat	Fireman	2000
No Score Yet	Do Not Disturb (Silent Witness)	Actor	1999
70%	The Thomas Crown Affair	Det. Michael McCann	1999
81%	Jesus' Son	Wayne	1999
54%	True Crime	Bob	1999
92%	A Bug's Life	Francis	1998
90%	Monument Ave.	Bobby O'Grady	1998
48%	Small Soldiers	Gil Mars	1998
40%	Wide Awake	Mr. Beal	1998
34%	The Real Blonde	Doug	1998
No Score Yet	Love Walked In	Jack Hanaway	1998
85%	Wag the Dog	Fad King	1997
No Score Yet	Denis Leary: Lock 'N Load	Actor	1997
50%	The Matchmaker	Nick	1997
No Score Yet	SUBWAYStories: Tales from the Underground	Actor	1997
No Score Yet	Subway Stories	Wheelchair Man	1997
34%	Suicide Kings	Lono Vecchio	1997
No Score Yet	The Second Civil War	Vinnie Franco	1997
No Score Yet	Underworld	Johnny Crown	1996
50%	The Neon Bible	Frank	1996
No Score Yet	National Lampoon's Favorite Deadly Sins	Director Jake	1995
31%	Operation Dumbo Drop	David Poole	1995
11%	Two if by Sea	Frank O'Brien Screenwriter	1995
47%	Natural Born Killers	Actor	1994
72%	The Ref	Gus	1994
35%	Judgment Night	Fallon	1993
61%	Demolition Man	Edgar Friendly	1993
15%	Gunmen	Armor	1993
50%	Who's the Man?	Sgt. Moore	1993
57%	The Sandlot	Bill	1993
15%	National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1	Mike McCracken	1993
No Score Yet	Denis Leary: No Cure for Cancer	Actor	1992
10%	Strictly Business	Jake	1991

TV

		CREDIT
78%	Animal Kingdom 2016-2018	Billy	2018 2017 2016
No Score Yet	Rachael Ray 2015	Guest	2017
No Score Yet	The Late Late Show With James Corden 2015-2018	Guest	2017 2016 2015
No Score Yet	The Talk 2010	Guest	2017 2016 2015
No Score Yet	The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 2014	Guest	2017 2016 2015 2014
No Score Yet	Conan 2010	Guest	2017 2014 2012 2011
No Score Yet	The View 1997	Guest	2017 2014 2010
38%	Chelsea 2016-2017	Guest	2016
No Score Yet	Nightcap 2016-2017		2016
61%	Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll 2015-2016	Director Screenwriter Creator Producer Johnny Rock	2016 2015
75%	Maron 2013-2016	Executive Producer Producer Himself	2016 2015 2014 2013
38%	Benders 2015	Executive Producer Producer	2015
No Score Yet	Jimmy Kimmel Live 2003	Guest	2015
70%	Sirens 2014-2015	Creator	2015 2014
No Score Yet	American Masters 2001	Appearing	2014
No Score Yet	Late Night With Seth Meyers 2014	Guest	2014
No Score Yet	The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson 2005-2014	Guest	2014
No Score Yet	Late Show With David Letterman 1993-2015	Guest	2012
No Score Yet	The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 1999-2015	Guest	2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006
No Score Yet	The Tonight Show With Jay Leno 1992-2014	Guest	2012 2010 2004 2002 2001
89%	Rescue Me 2004-2011	Screenwriter Creator Executive Producer Voice Producer Tommy Gavin	2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004
No Score Yet	Late Night With Jimmy Fallon 2009-2014	Guest	2010 2009
85%	The Simpsons 1989	Voice	2008
No Score Yet	The Ellen DeGeneres Show 2003	Guest	2007 2006
No Score Yet	The Apprentice 2004-2017	Appearing	2006

QUOTES FROM Denis Leary CHARACTERS

Sonny Weaver, Jr.	Shall we give in to the trumpet's final call, to the banner that waves yet so freely?
Coach Penn	Upon the heart of man hath this dilemma wrought such consequence, from Melia to Argencourt. We ride, but I no longer know to which drum or to what end.

Sid	Granny? You're alive!
Diego	...And can we say how thrilled we are to see you...
Diego	And can we say how thrilled we are to see you...

Sid	You know, my mother once told me that bad news was just good news in disguise.
Diego	Was this before she abandoned you?
Sid	Yes it was..
Sid	Yes it was...

Manny	Just keep your eyes on the horizon!
Diego	I can't FIND the horizon!
Diego	I can't find the horizon!

Diego	Listen! I can help you!
Manny	It's ok Sid we'll find our way out.
Manny	It's ok Sid, we'll find our way out.
Diego	You can't the currents too strong, you have to trust me.
Manny	Trust you!? Why on Earth would we trust you!?
Manny	Trust you! Why on Earth would we trust you?
Diego	Because I'm your only chance.

Diego	Get down! Get down, and follow me.
Manny	What are you saying?
Diego	There's an ambush waiting for you.
Manny	What do you mean ambush.....? You set us up.
Diego	I was my job. I was supposed to bring the baby, then....
Manny	You brought us home for dinner!!!
Sid	That's it, you're out of the herd!
Diego	I'm sorry.
Manny	No, you're not! Not, yet!

Diego	Give it up Sid. You know humans can't talk.
Sid	Diego!!
Sid	Diego!
Diego	Nine lives, baby.

Fallon

I'm chopped liver. I'm worse than Caruso. I look like an accountant playing my wish dream of a tough guy.

Francis

Hey, turn your butt off!

Fallon

No, you CAN'T take my money, but you can...take my money...

Anna	There's something to be said for self-restraint, even self-denial.
Doug "Dawg" Munford	Is that what your husband thinks? What are you both, Monks?

Doug "Dawg" Munford

I'm not frightened of children. I love them. I just don't want to have them. First one is a phobia, the other one is a choice.

Anna	Sex is just an activity to you, isn't it?
Doug "Dawg" Munford	No, sex is a big giant party.
Anna	Well, it's more to us women, much more.
Doug "Dawg" Munford	Yeah, you have sex with the same woman long enough and she wants to have your baby.

Gus	Great! I just beat up Santa Claus!

Gus	Let's get one thing straight. From now on, the only person who yells is me. Why? Because I have a gun. People who have guns can do whatever they want. Married people without guns, for instance, you...
Caroline	Um-hum.
Lloyd	Um-hum.
Gus	Do not get to yell. Why? No guns! No guns! No yelling! Simple little equation!

Lono Vecchio

I don't want to hear about any kind of fuckin' footwear from you again. Don't even talk about fuckin' socks to me!

The Lizard/Dr. Curt Connors	Poor Peter Parker. No father. No mother. No uncle. You're all alone.
George Stacy	He's not alone.

George Stacy

Thirty-eight of New York's finest, versus one guy in a unitard.

Captain Stacy

Make me a promise that you will keep Gwen out of it.

Edgar Friendly	God, I love to hate this place!
Simon Phoenix	Play ball!
Sergeant John Spartan	Somebody put me back in the fridge.

Diego	(finding out that he and Sid just kissed) Why are we kissing?
Diego	[finding out that he and Sid just kissed] Why are we kissing?
Sid	Because cruises are romantic?

Granny	(to Diego) Hey lady, have you seen Precious?
Granny	[to Diego] Hey lady, have you seen Precious?
Diego	If you're talking about your imaginary or deceased pet, then no I haven't.

Diego

[To Shira] Care to join our scurvy crew?

Diego	Care to join our scurvy crew?
Shira	Two sloths, a mammoth and a saber? You guys are like the start of a bad joke.

Shira	Your pretty soft for a saber.
Diego	Excuse me I happen to be a ruthless assasin.

Shira	Don't ever call me kitty!
Diego	Fine kitty.

Diego	You slept through that storm?
Granny	Honey, I slept through the asteroid that killed the unicorns!

Captain Stacy	Something the police can't? What do you think we do all day? Sit around with our thumbs planted firmly up our asses?
Phillip Stacy	Up your what Dad?

Captain Stacy	I'm offering an arrest warrant for the masked vigilante known as Spider-Man
Captain Stacy	[at a press conference] I am issuing an arrest warrant for the masked vigilante known as Spider-Man!

Gwen Stacy	[opens the door to the hallway] No, Dad, I do not want cocoa. Honestly, I'm 17 years old.
George Stacy	Okay, I just thought I remembered somebody saying last week that her fantasy was to live in a chocolate house.
Gwen Stacy	Well, thatâ??s impractical! [she shuts the door, then reopens it] And fattening. [closes the door again]
Gwen Stacy	Well, that's impractical! [she shuts the door, then reopens it] And fattening. [closes the door again]
Peter Parker/Spider-Man	Chocolate house?

Captain Stacy

Do I look like the Mayor of Tokyo to you?

Diego	I don't fight girls. [gets tackled to the ground by Shira]
Shira	I can see why.

Shira	Don't call me kitty
Shira	Don't call me Kitty.
Diego	Okay....kitty
Diego	Okay....Kitty
Granny	If they kiss I'm gonna puke!

George Stacy	Mr.Parker, why are you not in school?
Peter Parker/Spider-Man	Gotta free track.
George Stacy	OK, well I do not have a free track, so make your point quickly.
Peter Parker/Spider-Man	Ok fine, there might not be a dinosaur in Manhattan, but there's something more dangerous and I know who it is.
George Stacy	You know who it is?
Peter Parker/Spider-Man	Dr. Curt Connors, he's a biochemist-
George Stacy	Of OSCORP?
Peter Parker/Spider-Man	That's right.

Sid	My mother once told me that bad news was just good news in disguise.
Diego	Is this before she abandoned you?
Sid	Yes it was.

Diego

Welcome to the party.

Captain Stacy	So,tell us a little bit about yourself Mr.Parker.
Peter Parker/Spider-Man	Not much to tell really.
Gwen Stacy	Peter lives with his aunt and uncle.

Shira	"Your pretty soft for a saber"
Shira	Your pretty soft for a saber.
Diego	"Excuse me I happen to be a remoralse assassin"
Diego	Excuse me I happen to be a remoralse assassin.
Sid	"Oh Diego poo! I made you another coral neckless. He keeps losing them. Hehehe la-la-la-la"
Sid	Oh Diego poo! I made you another coral neckless. He keeps losing them. Hehehe la-la-la-la.

Diego

[When Shira asks him about his tiger nature] Excuse me, I happen to be a remorseless assassin.

Diego

What's the life expectancy for a female sloth?

Diego

[Asking Sid about his mom] Was this before she abandoned you?

Diego

That they got?

Diego

There's your proof.

Diego

We made it through storms, tidal waves, and a vicious assortment of seafood. What more could they hit us with?

Diego

Was this before she abandoned you?

Diego

They don't think that was you.

Captain Stacy	38 of New Yorks finest versus one guy in a unitard
Captain Stacy	38 of New York's finest against one guy in a unitard?

Gus	The army! What the f%@!, am I Oswald here
Gus	The army! What the f**k! I am Oswald here.

Diego

Whoo, YEAH! Who's up for round TWO? [pause; embarrassed] Um, t-t-tell the kid to be more careful.

Diego

I've heard of these crackpots.

Diego	The baby? Please. I was just returning it to its herd.
Sid	Oh, yeah. Nice try, Bucktooth.
Diego	You calling me a liar?
Sid	I didn't say that.
Diego	You were thinking it.
Sid	[whispering, to Manny] I don't like this cat. He reads minds.

Sid	[about the baby] I bet he's hungry.
Manny	How 'bout some milk?
Sid	Ooh, I'd love some!
Diego	Not you. The baby.
Sid	Well, I ain't exactly lactating right now, pal.
Diego	You're a little low on the food chain to be mouthing off, aren't you...
Manny	[in a shout that echoes] ENOUGH!

Captain Stacy	This guy wears a mask, like an outlaw.
Peter Parker/Spider-Man	I think he`s trying to do something the police can`t
Peter Parker/Spider-Man	I think he's trying to do something the police can't
Captain Stacy	Can`t?
Captain Stacy	Can't?

Diego

Not you! The baby!

Sid	[To Diego, referring to Roshan] Here, you hold it.
Sid	[to Diego, referring to Roshan] Here, you hold it.
Diego	[Bonks Sid on the head, who sticks his tongue out; then he shakes his head and wakes up]
Diego	[bonks Sid on the head, who sticks his tongue out; then he shakes his head and wakes up]

Sid	[Upon seeing Manny and Ellie's newborn child] It's a boy!
Sid	[upon seeing Manny and Ellie's newborn child] It's a boy!
Diego	That's her tail.
Sid	It's a girl!

Diego	Where's the baby? There he is! Where's the baby? THERE HE IS!!
Diego	[playing peek-a-boo] Where's the baby?... There he is! [the baby's only reaction is blinking; it is so startled it's quieted]
Diego	[playing peek-a-boo] Where's the baby? There he is! [the baby's only reaction is blinking; it is so startled it's quieted]
Roshan	[Cries]
Diego	Where's the baby?There he is!
Manny	Stop it! You're scarin' him!
Manny	[the baby begins crying again] Stop it, you're scaring him!

Diego

Name's Diego, friend.

Diego

That pink thing is mine.

George Stacy	So, tell us a little bit about yourself Mr.Parker
Peter Parker/Spider-Man	Not much to tell really....
Peter Parker/Spider-Man	Not much to tell really.

Francis	anytime pal! I'm going to pick the hairs out of your head one by one!
Francis	Anytime pal! I'm going to pick the hairs out of your head one by one!