Denis Leary

Highest Rated: 100% Burn (2012)

Lowest Rated: 10% Strictly Business (1991)

Birthday: Aug 18, 1957

Birthplace: Worcester, Massachusetts, USA

Boston-born Denis Leary is the sneering, tousle-haired comedian who popularized the cautionary phrase "two words." (His routine went something like this: "Regarding Bill Clinton's foreign policy, two words: Jimmy...Carter.") Best known for his many MTV appearances, Leary excels in playing characters who wavered between quiet sarcasm and howling insanity. His one-man show No Cure for Cancer premiered in New York in 1991, scoring a hit with its "intellectual guerilla" comedy. Among Leary's numerous films were National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon (1993), Judgment Night (1993), and Operation Dumbo Drop (1995). His best screen showing was as the beleaguered burglar and reluctant kidnapper in The Ref (1994). He later starred in Wag the Dog (1997), Jesus' Son (1999), and Joe Mantegna's directorial debut, Lakeboat (2000). Leary also served as a producer of the 2001 film Blow. In 2001, he starred as a New York detective in a night time drama called The Job. The series was cancelled before the end of the second season, but Leary was soon back in the movies, lending his voice to the character of Diego in the animated feature Ice Age. Then in 2004, Leary took on the character that would come to define the second leg of his career, accepting the lead role of firefighter Tommy Gavin on the FX series Rescue Me. Critically acclaimed and renowned for pushing the borders of cable television, the show proved to be a huge hit, and Leary won an Emmy for his performance. After the show wrapped in 2011, Leary would spend the followng years appearing in projects like The Amazing Spider Man.

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Highest Rated Movies

Filmography

MOVIES

RATING	TITLE	CREDIT	BOX OFFICE	YEAR
15%	Ice Age: Collision Course	Diego	$64.1M	2016
No Score Yet	Ice Age: The Great Egg-Scapade	Diego	—	2016
No Score Yet	Freaks Of Nature	Rick Wilson	—	2015
No Score Yet	Cosmic Scrat-tastrophe	Diego	—	2015
60%	Draft Day	Coach Penn	$21.2M	2014
No Score Yet	Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas	Actor	—	2013
100%	Burn	Executive Producer	$0.2M	2012
37%	Ice Age: Continental Drift	Diego	$161.4M	2012
72%	The Amazing Spider-Man	Captain Stacy	$262.1M	2012
91%	Joan Rivers: A Piece Of Work	Actor	$3M	2010
45%	Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (Ice Age 3)	Diego	$124.7M	2009
76%	Recount	Michael Whouley	—	2008
57%	Ice Age 2: The Meltdown	Diego	$195.3M	2006
No Score Yet	When Stand Up Stood Out	Actor	—	2005
No Score Yet	Comedy Central Roast of Jeff Foxworthy	Actor	—	2005
No Score Yet	Comedy Central Roast of Denis Leary	Actor	—	2004
No Score Yet	Richard Pryor - I Ain't Dead Yet #%$#@!! Uncensored	Actor	—	2004
No Score Yet	Complete Denis Leary	Actor	—	2004
85%	The Secret Lives of Dentists	Slater	$3.7M	2003
36%	Double Whammy	Ray Pluto	—	2002
77%	Ice Age	Diego	$176.4M	2002
No Score Yet	Dawg	Doug Menford	—	2002
No Score Yet	Sand	Teddy	—	2002
42%	Final	Bill	—	2001
55%	Blow	Producer	—	2001
14%	Company Man	Off. Fry	—	2001
83%	Lakeboat	Fireman	—	2000
No Score Yet	Do Not Disturb (Silent Witness)	Actor	—	1999
70%	The Thomas Crown Affair	Det. Michael McCann	—	1999
81%	Jesus' Son	Wayne	—	1999
55%	True Crime	Bob	—	1999
92%	A Bug's Life	Francis	—	1998
90%	Monument Ave.	Bobby O'Grady	—	1998
48%	Small Soldiers	Gil Mars	—	1998
39%	Wide Awake	Mr. Beal	—	1998
32%	The Real Blonde	Doug	—	1998
No Score Yet	Love Walked In	Jack Hanaway	—	1998
85%	Wag the Dog	Fad King	—	1997
No Score Yet	Denis Leary: Lock 'N Load	Actor	—	1997
52%	The Matchmaker	Nick	—	1997
No Score Yet	SUBWAYStories: Tales from the Underground	Actor	—	1997
No Score Yet	Subway Stories	Wheelchair Man	—	1997
34%	Suicide Kings	Lono Vecchio	—	1997
No Score Yet	The Second Civil War	Vinnie Franco	—	1997
No Score Yet	Underworld	Johnny Crown	—	1996
60%	The Neon Bible	Frank	—	1996
No Score Yet	National Lampoon's Favorite Deadly Sins	Director Jake	—	1995
31%	Operation Dumbo Drop	David Poole	—	1995
11%	Two if by Sea	Frank O'Brien Screenwriter	—	1995
46%	Natural Born Killers	Actor	—	1994
71%	The Ref	Gus	—	1994
31%	Judgment Night	Fallon	—	1993
64%	Demolition Man	Edgar Friendly	—	1993
15%	Gunmen	Armor	—	1993
43%	Who's the Man?	Sgt. Moore	—	1993
58%	The Sandlot	Bill	—	1993
15%	National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1	Mike McCracken	—	1993
No Score Yet	Denis Leary: No Cure for Cancer	Actor	—	1992
10%	Strictly Business	Jake	—	1991

TV

RATING	TITLE	CREDIT	YEAR
27%	Chelsea 2016	Actor Guest	2016
No Score Yet	Nightcap 2016	Actor	2016
58%	Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll 2015	Screenwriter Johnny Rock Director Creator	2016 2015
No Score Yet	The Late Late Show With James Corden 2015	Guest	2016 2015
No Score Yet	The Talk 2010	Guest	2016 2015
No Score Yet	The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 2014	Guest	2016 2015 2014
81%	Maron 2013	Himself Producer Executive Producer	2016 2015 2014 2013
38%	Benders 2015	Producer Executive Producer	2015
No Score Yet	Jimmy Kimmel Live 2003	Guest	2015
73%	Sirens 2014-2015	Creator	2015 2014
No Score Yet	American Masters 2001	Appearing	2014
No Score Yet	Late Night With Seth Meyers 2014	Guest	2014
No Score Yet	The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson 2005-2014	Guest	2014
No Score Yet	Conan 2010	Guest	2014 2012 2011
No Score Yet	The View 1997	Guest	2014 2010
No Score Yet	Late Show With David Letterman 1993-2015	Guest	2012
No Score Yet	The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 1999-2015	Guest	2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006
No Score Yet	The Tonight Show With Jay Leno 1992-2014	Guest	2012 2010 2004 2002
No Score Yet	Rescue Me 2004-2011	Screenwriter Tommy Gavin Voice Creator Producer Executive Producer	2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004
No Score Yet	Late Night With Jimmy Fallon 2009-2014	Guest	2010 2009
No Score Yet	The Simpsons 1989	Voice	2008
No Score Yet	The Apprentice 2004	Actor Appearing	2006

Quotes from Denis Leary's Characters

Sonny Weaver, Jr.:	Shall we give in to the trumpet's final call, to the banner that waves yet so freely?
Coach Penn:	Upon the heart of man hath this dilemma wrought such consequence, from Melia to Argencourt. We ride, but I no longer know to which drum or to what end.

Sid:	Granny? You're alive!
Diego:	...And can we say how thrilled we are to see you...
Diego:	And can we say how thrilled we are to see you...

Sid:	You know, my mother once told me that bad news was just good news in disguise.
Diego:	Was this before she abandoned you?
Sid:	Yes it was..
Sid:	Yes it was...

Manny:	Just keep your eyes on the horizon!
Diego:	I can't FIND the horizon!
Diego:	I can't find the horizon!

Diego:	Listen! I can help you!
Manny:	It's ok Sid we'll find our way out.
Manny:	It's ok Sid, we'll find our way out.
Diego:	You can't the currents too strong, you have to trust me.
Manny:	Trust you!? Why on Earth would we trust you!?
Manny:	Trust you! Why on Earth would we trust you?
Diego:	Because I'm your only chance.

Diego:	Get down! Get down, and follow me.
Manny:	What are you saying?
Diego:	There's an ambush waiting for you.
Manny:	What do you mean ambush.....? You set us up.
Diego:	I was my job. I was supposed to bring the baby, then....
Manny:	You brought us home for dinner!!!
Sid:	That's it, you're out of the herd!
Diego:	I'm sorry.
Manny:	No, you're not! Not, yet!

Diego:	Give it up Sid. You know humans can't talk.
Sid:	Diego!!
Sid:	Diego!
Diego:	Nine lives, baby.

Fallon:

I'm chopped liver. I'm worse than Caruso. I look like an accountant playing my wish dream of a tough guy.

Francis:

Hey, turn your butt off!

Fallon:

No, you CAN'T take my money, but you can...take my money...

Anna:	There's something to be said for self-restraint, even self-denial.
Doug "Dawg" Munford:	Is that what your husband thinks? What are you both, Monks?

Doug "Dawg" Munford:

I'm not frightened of children. I love them. I just don't want to have them. First one is a phobia, the other one is a choice.

Anna:	Sex is just an activity to you, isn't it?
Doug "Dawg" Munford:	No, sex is a big giant party.
Anna:	Well, it's more to us women, much more.
Doug "Dawg" Munford:	Yeah, you have sex with the same woman long enough and she wants to have your baby.

Gus:	Great! I just beat up Santa Claus!

Gus:	Let's get one thing straight. From now on, the only person who yells is me. Why? Because I have a gun. People who have guns can do whatever they want. Married people without guns, for instance, you...
Caroline:	Um-hum.
Lloyd:	Um-hum.
Gus:	Do not get to yell. Why? No guns! No guns! No yelling! Simple little equation!

Lono Vecchio:

I don't want to hear about any kind of fuckin' footwear from you again. Don't even talk about fuckin' socks to me!

The Lizard/Dr. Curt Connors:	Poor Peter Parker. No father. No mother. No uncle. You're all alone.
George Stacy:	He's not alone.

George Stacy:

Thirty-eight of New York's finest, versus one guy in a unitard.

Captain Stacy:

Make me a promise that you will keep Gwen out of it.

Edgar Friendly:	God, I love to hate this place!
Simon Phoenix:	Play ball!
Sergeant John Spartan:	Somebody put me back in the fridge.

Diego:	(finding out that he and Sid just kissed) Why are we kissing?
Diego:	[finding out that he and Sid just kissed] Why are we kissing?
Sid:	Because cruises are romantic?

Granny:	(to Diego) Hey lady, have you seen Precious?
Granny:	[to Diego] Hey lady, have you seen Precious?
Diego:	If you're talking about your imaginary or deceased pet, then no I haven't.

Diego:

[To Shira] Care to join our scurvy crew?

Diego:	Care to join our scurvy crew?
Shira:	Two sloths, a mammoth and a saber? You guys are like the start of a bad joke.

Shira:	Your pretty soft for a saber.
Diego:	Excuse me I happen to be a ruthless assasin.

Shira:	Don't ever call me kitty!
Diego:	Fine kitty.

Diego:	You slept through that storm?
Granny:	Honey, I slept through the asteroid that killed the unicorns!

Captain Stacy:	Something the police can't? What do you think we do all day? Sit around with our thumbs planted firmly up our asses?
Phillip Stacy:	Up your what Dad?

Captain Stacy:	I'm offering an arrest warrant for the masked vigilante known as Spider-Man
Captain Stacy:	[at a press conference] I am issuing an arrest warrant for the masked vigilante known as Spider-Man!

Gwen Stacy:	[opens the door to the hallway] No, Dad, I do not want cocoa. Honestly, I'm 17 years old.
George Stacy:	Okay, I just thought I remembered somebody saying last week that her fantasy was to live in a chocolate house.
Gwen Stacy:	Well, thatâ??s impractical! [she shuts the door, then reopens it] And fattening. [closes the door again]
Gwen Stacy:	Well, that's impractical! [she shuts the door, then reopens it] And fattening. [closes the door again]
Peter Parker/Spider-Man:	Chocolate house?

Captain Stacy:

Do I look like the Mayor of Tokyo to you?

Diego:	I don't fight girls. [gets tackled to the ground by Shira]
Shira:	I can see why.

Shira:	Don't call me kitty
Shira:	Don't call me Kitty.
Diego:	Okay....kitty
Diego:	Okay....Kitty
Granny:	If they kiss I'm gonna puke!

George Stacy:	Mr.Parker, why are you not in school?
Peter Parker/Spider-Man:	Gotta free track.
George Stacy:	OK, well I do not have a free track, so make your point quickly.
Peter Parker/Spider-Man:	Ok fine, there might not be a dinosaur in Manhattan, but there's something more dangerous and I know who it is.
George Stacy:	You know who it is?
Peter Parker/Spider-Man:	Dr. Curt Connors, he's a biochemist-
George Stacy:	Of OSCORP?
Peter Parker/Spider-Man:	That's right.

Sid:	My mother once told me that bad news was just good news in disguise.
Diego:	Is this before she abandoned you?
Sid:	Yes it was.

Diego:

Welcome to the party.

Captain Stacy:	So,tell us a little bit about yourself Mr.Parker.
Peter Parker/Spider-Man:	Not much to tell really.
Gwen Stacy:	Peter lives with his aunt and uncle.

Shira:	"Your pretty soft for a saber"
Shira:	Your pretty soft for a saber.
Diego:	"Excuse me I happen to be a remoralse assassin"
Diego:	Excuse me I happen to be a remoralse assassin.
Sid:	"Oh Diego poo! I made you another coral neckless. He keeps losing them. Hehehe la-la-la-la"
Sid:	Oh Diego poo! I made you another coral neckless. He keeps losing them. Hehehe la-la-la-la.

Diego:

[When Shira asks him about his tiger nature] Excuse me, I happen to be a remorseless assassin.

Diego:

What's the life expectancy for a female sloth?

Diego:

[Asking Sid about his mom] Was this before she abandoned you?

Diego:

That they got?

Diego:

There's your proof.

Diego:

We made it through storms, tidal waves, and a vicious assortment of seafood. What more could they hit us with?

Diego:

Was this before she abandoned you?

Diego:

They don't think that was you.

Captain Stacy:	38 of New Yorks finest versus one guy in a unitard
Captain Stacy:	38 of New York's finest against one guy in a unitard?

Gus:	The army! What the f%@!, am I Oswald here
Gus:	The army! What the f**k! I am Oswald here.

Diego:

Whoo, YEAH! Who's up for round TWO? [pause; embarrassed] Um, t-t-tell the kid to be more careful.

Diego:

I've heard of these crackpots.

Diego:	The baby? Please. I was just returning it to its herd.
Sid:	Oh, yeah. Nice try, Bucktooth.
Diego:	You calling me a liar?
Sid:	I didn't say that.
Diego:	You were thinking it.
Sid:	[whispering, to Manny] I don't like this cat. He reads minds.

Sid:	[about the baby] I bet he's hungry.
Manny:	How 'bout some milk?
Sid:	Ooh, I'd love some!
Diego:	Not you. The baby.
Sid:	Well, I ain't exactly lactating right now, pal.
Diego:	You're a little low on the food chain to be mouthing off, aren't you...
Manny:	[in a shout that echoes] ENOUGH!

Captain Stacy:	This guy wears a mask, like an outlaw.
Peter Parker/Spider-Man:	I think he`s trying to do something the police can`t
Peter Parker/Spider-Man:	I think he's trying to do something the police can't
Captain Stacy:	Can`t?
Captain Stacy:	Can't?

Diego:

Not you! The baby!

Sid:	[To Diego, referring to Roshan] Here, you hold it.
Sid:	[to Diego, referring to Roshan] Here, you hold it.
Diego:	[Bonks Sid on the head, who sticks his tongue out; then he shakes his head and wakes up]
Diego:	[bonks Sid on the head, who sticks his tongue out; then he shakes his head and wakes up]

Sid:	[Upon seeing Manny and Ellie's newborn child] It's a boy!
Sid:	[upon seeing Manny and Ellie's newborn child] It's a boy!
Diego:	That's her tail.
Sid:	It's a girl!

Diego:	Where's the baby? There he is! Where's the baby? THERE HE IS!!
Diego:	[playing peek-a-boo] Where's the baby?... There he is! [the baby's only reaction is blinking; it is so startled it's quieted]
Diego:	[playing peek-a-boo] Where's the baby? There he is! [the baby's only reaction is blinking; it is so startled it's quieted]
Roshan:	[Cries]
Diego:	Where's the baby?There he is!
Manny:	Stop it! You're scarin' him!
Manny:	[the baby begins crying again] Stop it, you're scaring him!

Diego:

Name's Diego, friend.

Diego:

That pink thing is mine.

George Stacy:	So, tell us a little bit about yourself Mr.Parker
Peter Parker/Spider-Man:	Not much to tell really....
Peter Parker/Spider-Man:	Not much to tell really.

Francis:	anytime pal! I'm going to pick the hairs out of your head one by one!
Francis:	Anytime pal! I'm going to pick the hairs out of your head one by one!