Denis Leary

Shall we give in to the trumpet's final call, to the banner that waves yet so freely?

Upon the heart of man hath this dilemma wrought such consequence, from Melia to Argencourt. We ride, but I no longer know to which drum or to what end.

Granny? You're alive!

...And can we say how thrilled we are to see you...

And can we say how thrilled we are to see you...

You know, my mother once told me that bad news was just good news in disguise.

Was this before she abandoned you?

Yes it was..

Yes it was...

Just keep your eyes on the horizon!

I can't FIND the horizon!

I can't find the horizon!

Listen! I can help you!

It's ok Sid we'll find our way out.

It's ok Sid, we'll find our way out.

You can't the currents too strong, you have to trust me.

Trust you!? Why on Earth would we trust you!?

Trust you! Why on Earth would we trust you?

Because I'm your only chance.

Get down! Get down, and follow me.

What are you saying?

There's an ambush waiting for you.

What do you mean ambush.....? You set us up.

I was my job. I was supposed to bring the baby, then....

You brought us home for dinner!!!

That's it, you're out of the herd!

I'm sorry.

No, you're not! Not, yet!

Give it up Sid. You know humans can't talk.

Diego!!

Diego!

Nine lives, baby.

I'm chopped liver. I'm worse than Caruso. I look like an accountant playing my wish dream of a tough guy.

Hey, turn your butt off!

No, you CAN'T take my money, but you can...take my money...

There's something to be said for self-restraint, even self-denial.

Is that what your husband thinks? What are you both, Monks?

I'm not frightened of children. I love them. I just don't want to have them. First one is a phobia, the other one is a choice.

Sex is just an activity to you, isn't it?

No, sex is a big giant party.

Well, it's more to us women, much more.

Yeah, you have sex with the same woman long enough and she wants to have your baby.

Great! I just beat up Santa Claus!

Let's get one thing straight. From now on, the only person who yells is me. Why? Because I have a gun. People who have guns can do whatever they want. Married people without guns, for instance, you...

Um-hum.

Um-hum.

Do not get to yell. Why? No guns! No guns! No yelling! Simple little equation!

I don't want to hear about any kind of fuckin' footwear from you again. Don't even talk about fuckin' socks to me!

Poor Peter Parker. No father. No mother. No uncle. You're all alone.

He's not alone.

Thirty-eight of New York's finest, versus one guy in a unitard.

Make me a promise that you will keep Gwen out of it.

God, I love to hate this place!

Play ball!

Somebody put me back in the fridge.

(finding out that he and Sid just kissed) Why are we kissing?

[finding out that he and Sid just kissed] Why are we kissing?

Because cruises are romantic?

(to Diego) Hey lady, have you seen Precious?

[to Diego] Hey lady, have you seen Precious?

If you're talking about your imaginary or deceased pet, then no I haven't.

[To Shira] Care to join our scurvy crew?

Care to join our scurvy crew?

Two sloths, a mammoth and a saber? You guys are like the start of a bad joke.

Your pretty soft for a saber.

Excuse me I happen to be a ruthless assasin.

Don't ever call me kitty!

Fine kitty.

You slept through that storm?

Honey, I slept through the asteroid that killed the unicorns!

Something the police can't? What do you think we do all day? Sit around with our thumbs planted firmly up our asses?

Up your what Dad?

I'm offering an arrest warrant for the masked vigilante known as Spider-Man

[at a press conference] I am issuing an arrest warrant for the masked vigilante known as Spider-Man!

[opens the door to the hallway] No, Dad, I do not want cocoa. Honestly, I'm 17 years old.

Okay, I just thought I remembered somebody saying last week that her fantasy was to live in a chocolate house.

Well, thatâ??s impractical! [she shuts the door, then reopens it] And fattening. [closes the door again]

Well, that's impractical! [she shuts the door, then reopens it] And fattening. [closes the door again]

Chocolate house?

Do I look like the Mayor of Tokyo to you?

I don't fight girls. [gets tackled to the ground by Shira]

I can see why.

Don't call me kitty

Don't call me Kitty.

Okay....kitty

Okay....Kitty

If they kiss I'm gonna puke!

Mr.Parker, why are you not in school?

Gotta free track.

OK, well I do not have a free track, so make your point quickly.

Ok fine, there might not be a dinosaur in Manhattan, but there's something more dangerous and I know who it is.

You know who it is?

Dr. Curt Connors, he's a biochemist-

Of OSCORP?

That's right.

My mother once told me that bad news was just good news in disguise.

Is this before she abandoned you?

Yes it was.

Welcome to the party.

So,tell us a little bit about yourself Mr.Parker.

Not much to tell really.

Peter lives with his aunt and uncle.

"Your pretty soft for a saber"

Your pretty soft for a saber.

"Excuse me I happen to be a remoralse assassin"

Excuse me I happen to be a remoralse assassin.

"Oh Diego poo! I made you another coral neckless. He keeps losing them. Hehehe la-la-la-la"

Oh Diego poo! I made you another coral neckless. He keeps losing them. Hehehe la-la-la-la.

[When Shira asks him about his tiger nature] Excuse me, I happen to be a remorseless assassin.

What's the life expectancy for a female sloth?

[Asking Sid about his mom] Was this before she abandoned you?

That they got?

There's your proof.

We made it through storms, tidal waves, and a vicious assortment of seafood. What more could they hit us with?

Was this before she abandoned you?

They don't think that was you.

38 of New Yorks finest versus one guy in a unitard

38 of New York's finest against one guy in a unitard?

The army! What the f%@!, am I Oswald here

The army! What the f**k! I am Oswald here.

Whoo, YEAH! Who's up for round TWO? [pause; embarrassed] Um, t-t-tell the kid to be more careful.

I've heard of these crackpots.

The baby? Please. I was just returning it to its herd.

Oh, yeah. Nice try, Bucktooth.

You calling me a liar?

I didn't say that.

You were thinking it.

[whispering, to Manny] I don't like this cat. He reads minds.

[about the baby] I bet he's hungry.

How 'bout some milk?

Ooh, I'd love some!

Not you. The baby.

Well, I ain't exactly lactating right now, pal.

You're a little low on the food chain to be mouthing off, aren't you...

[in a shout that echoes] ENOUGH!

This guy wears a mask, like an outlaw.

I think he`s trying to do something the police can`t

I think he's trying to do something the police can't

Can`t?

Can't?

Not you! The baby!

[To Diego, referring to Roshan] Here, you hold it.

[to Diego, referring to Roshan] Here, you hold it.

[Bonks Sid on the head, who sticks his tongue out; then he shakes his head and wakes up]

[bonks Sid on the head, who sticks his tongue out; then he shakes his head and wakes up]

[Upon seeing Manny and Ellie's newborn child] It's a boy!

[upon seeing Manny and Ellie's newborn child] It's a boy!

That's her tail.

It's a girl!

Where's the baby? There he is! Where's the baby? THERE HE IS!!

[playing peek-a-boo] Where's the baby?... There he is! [the baby's only reaction is blinking; it is so startled it's quieted]

[playing peek-a-boo] Where's the baby? There he is! [the baby's only reaction is blinking; it is so startled it's quieted]

[Cries]

Where's the baby?There he is!

Stop it! You're scarin' him!

[the baby begins crying again] Stop it, you're scaring him!

Name's Diego, friend.

That pink thing is mine.

So, tell us a little bit about yourself Mr.Parker

Not much to tell really....

Not much to tell really.

anytime pal! I'm going to pick the hairs out of your head one by one!

Anytime pal! I'm going to pick the hairs out of your head one by one!