Michael Caine

Michael Caine

  • Highest Rated: 100% An Accidental Studio (2019)
  • Lowest Rated: 0% Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
  • Birthday: Mar 14, 1933
  • Birthplace: Rotherhithe, London, England
  • Icon of British cool in the 1960s, leading action star in the late '70s, and knighted into official respectability in 1993, Michael Caine has enjoyed a long, varied, and enviably prolific career. Although he played a part in some notable cinematic failures, particularly during the 1980s, Caine remains one of the most established performers in the business, serving as a role model for actors and filmmakers young and old. The son of a fish-porter father and a charwoman mother, Caine's beginnings were less than glamorous. Born Maurice Micklewhite in 1943, in the squalid South London neighborhood of Bermondsey, Caine got his first taste of the world beyond when he was evacuated to the countryside during World War II. A misfit in school, the military (he served during the Korean War), and the job pool, Caine found acceptance after answering a want ad for an assistant stage manager at the Horsham Repertory Company. Already star struck thanks to incessant filmgoing, Caine naturally took to acting, even though the life of a British regional actor was one step away from abject poverty. Changing his last name from Micklewhite to Caine in tribute to one of his favorite movies, The Caine Mutiny (1954), the actor toiled in obscurity in unbilled film bits and TV walk-ons from 1956 through 1962, occasionally obtaining leads on a TV series based on the Edgar Wallace mysteries. Caine's big break occurred in 1963, when he was cast in a leading role in the epic, star-studded historical adventure film Zulu. Suddenly finding himself bearing a modicum of importance in the British film industry, the actor next played Harry Palmer, the bespectacled, iconoclastic secret agent protagonist of The Ipcress File (1965); he would go on to reprise the role in two more films, Funeral in Berlin (1966) and The Billion Dollar Brain (1967). After 12 years of obscure and unappreciated work, Caine was glibly hailed as an "overnight star," and with the success of The Ipcress Files, advanced to a new role as a major industry player. He went on to gain international fame in his next film, Alfie (1966), in which he played the title character, a gleefully cheeky, womanizing cockney lad. For his portrayal of Alfie, Caine was rewarded with a Golden Globe award and an Oscar nomination. One of the most popular action stars of the late '60s and early '70s, Caine had leading roles in films such as the classic 1969 action comedy The Italian Job (considered by many to be the celluloid manifestation of all that was hip in Britain at the time); Joseph L. Manckiewic's Sleuth (1972), in which he starred opposite Laurence Olivier and won his second Oscar nomination; and The Man Who Would Be King (1976), which cast him alongside Sean Connery. During the 1980s, Caine gained additional acclaim with an Oscar nomination for Educating Rita (1983) and a 1986 Best Supporting Actor Oscar for Hannah and Her Sisters. He had a dastardly turn as an underworld kingpin in Neil Jordan's small but fervently praised Mona Lisa, and two years later once again proved his comic talents with the hit comedy Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, in which he and Steve Martin starred as scheming con artists. Although Caine was no less prolific during the 1990s, his career began to falter with a series of lackluster films. Among the disappointments were Steven Seagal's environmental action flick On Deadly Ground (1994) and Blood and Wine, a 1996 thriller in which he starred with Jack Nicholson and Judy Davis. In the late '90s, Caine began to rebound, appearing in the acclaimed independent film Little Voice (1998), for which he won a Golden Globe for his portrayal of a seedy talent agent. In addition, Caine -- or Sir Michael, as he was called after receiving his knighthood in 2000 -- got a new audience through his television work, starring in the 1997 miniseries Mandela and de Klerk. The actor, who was ranked 55 in Empire Magazine's 1997 Top 100 Actors of All Time list, also kept busy as the co-owner of a successful London

Photos

Highest Rated Movies

Filmography

Movies

Rating

Title

Credit

Box
Office

Year

No Score Yet Now You See Me 3 Arthur Tressler 2020
35% King of Thieves Actor 2019
100% An Accidental Studio Actor 2019
27% Sherlock Gnomes Actor 2018
17% Dear Dictator General Anton Vincent 2018
48% Going in Style Joe $45.1M 2017
34% Now You See Me 2 Arthur Tressler $65.1M 2016
72% Youth Fred Ballinger $1.9M 2015
17% The Last Witch Hunter Dolan 36th 2015
74% Kingsman: The Secret Service Arthur $119.5M 2015
72% Interstellar Prof. Brand $158.8M 2014
53% Stonehearst Asylum Actor 2014
83% The Double Executive Producer $0.6M 2014
31% Last Love Matt Morgan 2013
50% Now You See Me Arthur Tressler $117.7M 2013
87% The Dark Knight Rises Alfred Pennyworth $448.2M 2012
44% Journey 2: The Mysterious Island Alexander $103.9M 2012
39% Cars 2 Finn McMissile $191.5M 2011
56% Gnomeo and Juliet Lord Redbrick $99.9M 2011
87% Inception Miles $292.6M 2010
62% Harry Brown Harry Brown $1.9M 2010
65% Is Anybody There? Clarence $2M 2009
94% The Dark Knight Alfred $533.4M 2008
55% Flawless Mr. Hobbs $1.2M 2008
36% Sleuth Andrew Wyke $0.3M 2007
92% Children of Men Jasper $35.2M 2006
No Score Yet OLHAR ESTRANGEIRO Actor 2006
76% The Prestige Cutter $53.2M 2006
59% The Weather Man Robert Spritzel $12.5M 2005
24% Bewitched Nigel Bigelow $62.3M 2005
84% Batman Begins Alfred $204.2M 2005
29% Around the Bend Henry Lair $0.2M 2004
No Score Yet Golden Gong: The Story of Rank Films--British Cinema's Legendary Studio Actor 2004
23% The Statement Pierre Broussard $0.6M 2003
60% Secondhand Lions Garth $41.5M 2003
No Score Yet Los Actores Anthony O'Malley 2003
86% The Quiet American Thomas Fowler 2003
No Score Yet Quicksand Jake Mellows 2003
54% Austin Powers in Goldmember Nigel Powers $213.1M 2002
79% Last Orders Jack Arthur Dodds $2.2M 2002
No Score Yet Fighting for Freedom: Revolution & Civil War Narrator 2002
46% Shiner Billy `Shiner' Simpson 2001
42% Miss Congeniality Victor Melling 2000
75% Quills Dr. Royer-Collard $4.3M 2000
12% Get Carter Cliff Brumby $14.6M 2000
No Score Yet Curtain Call Max Gale 2000
71% The Cider House Rules Dr. Wilbur Larch 1999
33% X, Y & Zee Robert Blakeley 1999
79% Little Voice Ray 1998
No Score Yet Shadow Run Haskell 1998
No Score Yet 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea Capt. Nemo 1997
61% Blood and Wine Victor 1997
No Score Yet Mandela and Deklerk F.W. De Klerk 1997
No Score Yet Midnight in Saint Petersburg Harry Palmer 1996
No Score Yet Bullet to Beijing Harry Palmer 1995
No Score Yet Midnight in St. Petersburg Actor 1995
No Score Yet World War II Actor 1994
10% On Deadly Ground Michael Jennings 1994
No Score Yet World War II: When Lions Roared Joseph Stalin 1994
No Score Yet Blue Ice Harry Anders 1993
75% The Muppet Christmas Carol Ebenezer Scrooge 1992
61% Noises Off Lloyd 1992
No Score Yet Hollywood Collection Narrator 1991
No Score Yet King Midas and the Golden Touch Narrator 1991
38% Mr. Destiny Mike/Mr. Destiny 1990
No Score Yet Bullseye! Sidney Lipton/ octor Hicklar 1990
77% A Shock to the System Graham Marshall 1990
No Score Yet Jekyll & Hyde Dr. Henry Jekyll/Mr. Edward Hyde 1990
89% Dirty Rotten Scoundrels Lawrence Jamieson 1988
No Score Yet Jack the Ripper Frederick Abberline 1988
60% Without a Clue Sherlock Holmes 1988
13% Surrender Sean Stein 1987
72% The Fourth Protocol John Preston Executive Producer 1987
86% The Whistle Blower The Whistle Blower 1987
0% Jaws: The Revenge Hoagie Newcombe 1987
No Score Yet Hero: The Official Film of the 1986 FIFA World Cup Actor 1987
97% Mona Lisa Mortwell 1986
75% Sweet Liberty Elliott James 1986
91% Hannah and Her Sisters Elliot 1986
50% Half Moon Street Lord Bulbeck 1986
No Score Yet El Pacto Holcroft Noel Holcroft 1985
No Score Yet Water Governor Baxter Thwaites 1985
9% Blame It on Rio Matthew Hollis 1984
No Score Yet The Jigsaw Man Philip Kimberly/Sergei Kuzminsky 1984
79% Educating Rita Dr. Frank Bryant 1983
No Score Yet Beyond the Limit Charley Fortnum 1983
75% Deathtrap Sidney Bruhl 1982
71% Victory Capt. John Colby 1981
11% The Hand Ian Lansdale 1981
40% The Island Blair Maynard 1980
83% Dressed to Kill Doctor Robert Elliott 1980
0% Beyond the Poseidon Adventure Capt. Mike Turner 1979
No Score Yet Ashanti Dr. David Linderby 1979
55% California Suite Sidney Cochran - Visitors from London 1978
No Score Yet Silver Bears Doc Fletcher 1978
11% The Swarm Brad Crane 1978
59% A Bridge Too Far Lt. Col. Joe Vandeleur 1977
57% Harry and Walter Go to New York Adam Worth 1976
75% The Eagle Has Landed Colonel Steiner 1976
96% The Man Who Would Be King Peachy Carnehan 1975
No Score Yet The Romantic Englishwoman,(Une anglaise romantique) Lewis 1975
No Score Yet Peeper (Fat Chance) Leslie C. Tucker 1975
No Score Yet The Wilby Conspiracy Jim Keogh 1975
No Score Yet The Marseille Contract (The Destructors) John Deray 1974
No Score Yet The Black Windmill Maj. John Tarrant 1974
No Score Yet Kidnapped Alan Breck 1973
75% Pulp Mickey King 1972
96% Sleuth Milo Tindle 1972
No Score Yet The Last Valley Captain 1971
84% Get Carter Jack Carter 1971
57% Too Late the Hero Pvt. Tosh Hearne 1970
67% Battle of Britain Squadron Leader Canfield 1969
No Score Yet Play Dirty Director Capt. Douglas 1969
83% The Italian Job Charlie Croker 1969
No Score Yet The Magus Nicholas 1968
No Score Yet Deadfall Henry Stuart Clarke 1968
25% Hurry Sundown Henry Warren 1967
50% Billion Dollar Brain Harry Palmer 1967
96% Alfie Alfie 1966
88% The Wrong Box Michael Finsbury 1966
No Score Yet Alfie Darling (Oh Alfie) Actor 1966
75% Funeral in Berlin Harry Palmer 1966
No Score Yet Gambit Harold "Harry" Dean 1965
100% The Ipcress File Harry Palmer 1965
95% Zulu Lt. Gonville Bromhead 1964
No Score Yet The Wrong Arm of the Law Bit 1963
No Score Yet The Bulldog Breed Sailor (uncredited) 1960
No Score Yet Carve Her Name with Pride Thirsty Prisoner on Train 1958
No Score Yet Room 43 Actor 1958
No Score Yet The Two-Headed Spy Soldier 1958
No Score Yet How to Murder a Rich Uncle Gilrony 1957
No Score Yet A Hill in Korea (Hell in Korea) Private Lockyer 1956
No Score Yet Panic in the Parlor Bit 1956
90% Hobson's Choice Actor 1953

TV

Rating

Title

Credit

Year

No Score Yet The Graham Norton Show
2007
Guest
  • 2017
No Score Yet Today
2017
Guest
  • 2017
No Score Yet The View
1997
Guest
  • 2017
  • 2013
No Score Yet 60 Minutes
1999
Appearing
  • 2016
  • 2015
No Score Yet The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
2015
Guest
  • 2015
No Score Yet Late Night With Jimmy Fallon
2009-2014
Guest
  • 2010
No Score Yet The Tonight Show With Jay Leno
1992-2014
Guest
  • 2003
  • 2002

QUOTES FROM Michael Caine CHARACTERS

Prof. Brand
Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Fred Ballinger
She is not at all stupid, Miss Universe.
Harry Brown
You have failed to maintain your weapon, son!
Fred Ballinger
You were right. Music is all I really understand.
Fred Ballinger
Intellectuals have no taste.
Cooper
You sent people out there looking for a new home?
Prof. Brand
The Lazarus missions.
Cooper
That sounds cheerful.
Prof. Brand
Lazarus care back from the dead.
Cooper
Sure, but he had to die in the first place.
Prof. Brand
We need the bravest humans to find us a new home.
Cooper
But the nearest star is over a thousand years away.
Doyle
Hence the bravery.
Cooper
I have kids, professor.
Prof. Brand
Get out there, and save them.
Alfred
Some men just want to watch the world burn.
Mike
Learn to enjoy what you've got.
Mike
Some people think things are the way they are for a reason.
Hoagie
Oh, shit!
Matthew Morgan
I think the day we figure out everything about our lives is the day we die.
Thomas Fowler
They say there is a ghost in every house and if you can make peace with him, he will stay quiet,
Thomas Fowler
There's a war on. People are dying every day.
Thomas Fowler
A woman's voice can drug you.
Alfred
Some men just want to watch the world burn.
Alfred
Shall you be taking the Batpod sir?
Batman/Bruce Wayne
In the middle of the day Alfred?
Alfred
The Lamborghini then? Much more subtle.
Alfie
My understanding of women goes only so far as the pleasures.
"Sherlock Holmes"/Reginald Kincaid
Ah well, Sherlock Holmes belongs to the whole world!
Graham Marshall
I will try and put this as politely as possible, Henry. What the fuck are you doing in my office?
Arthur Tressler
Whatever you stand to make from this, I'll double it.
Thaddeus Bradley
I stand to make $5 million.
Arthur Tressler
Am I flinching?
Robert
(to Zee) Wouldn't you like to chew on a bone or something?
Robert
Wouldn't you like to chew on a bone or something?
Alexander
How do you like grandma now?
Hank
How do you think your mother's gonna feel when we're off the grid for two weeks?
Alexander
By the time you get back, she's probably gonna be remarried.
Nigel Powers
Oh my god! You're a tripod.
Mini-Me
[nods]
Batman/Bruce Wayne
People are dying, Alfred. What would you have me do?
Alfred
Endure, Master Wayne. Take it. They'll hate you for it, but that's the point of Batman, he can be the outcast. He can make the choice that no one else can make, the right choice.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
Well today I found out what Batman can't do. He can't endure this. Today you get to say "I told you so."
Alfred
Today, I don't want to.
Alfred
But I did bloody tell you.
Michael
What do you know about it?
Hoagie
Well she got the idea in her head that the shark that killed Martin and Sean is now following the family.
Jake
Hey, he's not talking about OUR shark is he?
Jake
Hey, he's not talking about our shark is he?
Michael
(after a long pause) What do you do when you're not flying people?
Michael
What do you do when you're not flying people?
Hoagie
I deliver laundry. (smiles)
Hoagie
I deliver laundry.
Bruce Wayne/Batman
Bane was a member of the League of Shadows?
Alfred
And then he was excommunicated. And any man, who is too extreme for Ra's Al Ghul, is not to be trifled with.
Bruce Wayne/Batman
I didn't realize I was known for trifling with criminals.
Alfred
That was then. And you can strap up your leg and put your mask back on. But that doesn't make you what you were.
Alfred
Is it really painful?
Bruce Wayne/Batman
Well, You're welcome to try it, Alfred.
Alfred
Happy watching, thank you, sir.
Bruce Wayne/Batman
Not bad. Not bad at all.
Alfred
Is see from the television coverage that you've got your taste for wanton destruction back.
Bruce Wayne/Batman
I retrieved this.
Alfred
Aren't the police supposed to be investigating them?
Bruce Wayne/Batman
They don't have the tools to analyze it.
Alfred
They would if you gave them to them.
Bruce Wayne/Batman
One man's tool is another man's weapon.
Alfred
In your mind, perhaps. But there aren't many things you can't turn into a weapon.
Bruce Wayne/Batman
Alfred, enough! The police weren't getting it done.
Alfred
Perhaps they might have if you hadn't made a sideshow of yourself.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
That wasn't... exactly what I had in mind when, uh, I said I wanted to inspire people.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
That wasn't exactly what I had in mind when, uh, I said I wanted to inspire people.
Alfred
I know.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
What have I done, Alfred? Everything my family my father, built
Batman/Bruce Wayne
What have I done, Alfred? Everything my family, my father, built.
Alfred Pennyworth
The Wayne legacy is more than bricks and mortar, sir.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
I wanted to save Gotham. I failed.
Alfred Pennyworth
Why do we fall, sir? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
You still haven't given up on me?
Alfred Pennyworth
Never.
Alfred Pennyworth
Master Wayne, you've been gone a long time.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
Yes, I have.
Alfred Pennyworth
You look very fashionable........ Apart from the mud.
Alfred Pennyworth
You look very fashionable, apart from the mud.
Rachel Dawes
What will you do?
Batman/Bruce Wayne
Rebuild it. Just the way it was, brick for brick.
Alfred Pennyworth
Just the way it was, sir?
Batman/Bruce Wayne
Yeah, why?
Alfred Pennyworth
I thought this might be a good opportunity for improving the foundations.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
In the southeast corner?
Alfred Pennyworth
Precisely, sir.
Lawrence Jamieson
Freddy, as a younger man, I was a sculptor, a painter, and a musician. There was just one problem: I wasn't very good. As a matter of fact, I was dreadful. I finally came to the frustrating conclusion that I had taste and style, but not talent. I knew my limitations. We all have our limitations, Freddy. Fortunately, I discovered that taste and style were commodities that people desired. Freddy, what I am saying is: know your limitations. You are a moron.
Lawrence Jamieson
Freddy, as a younger man, I was a sculptor, a painter, and a musician. There was just one problem: I wasn't very good. As a matter of fact, I was dreadful. I finally came to the frustrating conclusion that I had taste and style, but not talent. I knew my limitations. We all have our limitations, Freddy. Fortunately, I discovered that taste and style were commodities that people desired. Freddy, what I am saying is: know your limitations. You are a moron.
Lawrence Jamieson
Ruprecht, do you want the genital cuff?
Lawrence Jamieson
Do you ever have a single thought that originates from above the waist?
Jack Carter
Wer'e gonna take this to the next level...
Bruce Wayne/Batman
So now you're trying to set me up with a jewel thief?
Alfred
At this point, I'd set you up with a chimpanzee if it'd brought you back to the world!
Alfred
[At Bruce's grave] I'm so sorry. I failed you. You trusted me, and I failed you.
Alfred
[To Bruce] Remember when you left Gotham? Before all this, before Batman? You were gone seven years. Seven years I waited, hoping that you wouldn't come back. Every year, I took a holiday. I went to Florence, there's this cafe, on the banks of the Arno. Every fine evening, I'd sit there and order a Fernet Branca. I had this fantasy, that I would look across the tables and I'd see you there, with a wife and maybe a couple of kids. You wouldn't say anything to me, nor me to you. But we'd both know that you'd made it, that you were happy. I never wanted you to come back to Gotham. I always knew there was nothing here for you, except pain and tragedy. And I wanted something more for you than that. I still do.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
Targeting me won't get their money back. I knew the mob wouldn't go down without a fight, but this is different. They crossed the line.
Alfred
You crossed the line first, sir. You squeezed them, you hammered them to the point of desperation. And in their desperation, they turned to a man they didn't fully understand.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
Criminals aren't complicated, Alfred. Just have to figure out what he's after.
Alfred
With respect Master Wayne, perhaps this is a man that you don't fully understand, either. A long time ago, I was in Burma. My friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of tribal leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest north of Rangoon by a bandit. So, we went looking for the stones. But in six months, we never met anybody who traded with him. One day, I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
So why steal them?
Alfred
Well, because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
Alfred
Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
Alfred
Leaving is the only thing I have to make you understand.
Cutter
the real transported man is one of the most sought after illusion's in this business i have the right to sell it on if i reveal the method hear the trick is worthless
Cutter
The Real Transported Man is the most sought-after illusion in the business and I have te right to sell it on.
Judge
how do you think Mr Borden was able to move the tank under the trap door with out anyone noticing
Judge
How do you think Mr.Borden was able to move the tank under the trap door without anyone noticing?
Cutter
he is the magician ask him
Cutter
Ask him, he's the magician.
Dr. Wilbur Larch
Dr. Wilbur Larch: Good night, you princes of Maine, you kings of New England.
Pierre Brossard
Saint Christopher, they saw me. They knew. Can they point me out? Can anyone say,"That's Brossard. He sent us to our graves."
Pierre Brossard
Saint Christopher, they saw me. They knew. Can they point me out? Can anyone say,'That's Brossard. He sent us to our graves.'
Finn McMissile
I'm looking for a car.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
More copycats last night, Alfred. with guns
Batman/Bruce Wayne
More copycats last night, Alfred, with guns.
Alfred
Why don't you hire them and take a weekend off
Alfred
Why don't you hire them and take the weekend off?
Alfred
Did you maul by a tiger?
Alfred
Did you get mauled by a tiger?
Batman/Bruce Wayne
It was a dog
Batman/Bruce Wayne
It was a dog.
Alfred
Huh?
Batman/Bruce Wayne
It was a big dog
Batman/Bruce Wayne
It was a big dog.
Jasper
Yeah, there you go! Julian and Theo met among a million protesters in a rally by chance. But they were there because of what they believed in in the first place, their faith. They wanted to change the world. And their faith kept them together. But by chance, Dylan was born.
Kee
This is him?
Jasper
Yeah, that's him. He'd have been about your age. Magical child. Beautiful. Their faith put in praxis.
Miriam
Praxis? What happened?
Jasper
Chance. He was their sweet little dream. He had little hands, little legs, little feet. Little lungs. And in 2008, along came the flu pandemic. And then, by chance, he was gone. You see, Theo's faith lost out to chance. So, why bother if life's going to make its own choices?
Lewis
The realm of possibility, What a terrible country. What if such and such were the case? What if the person you love is a liar?
Lewis
It is very, very boring to seize on some commonplace idea, which no reasonable person would dispute, and then ram it down people's throats as if it were a breakthrough in the history of human thought. Furthermore, washing someone's dirty underpants is what you are best suited for.
Herman
It's a psychological story about 'the new woman," you understand me?
Lewis
Yes, I think its a very boring idea. It's pretentious and derivative, but mostly its boring Why don't you turn it into a thriller?
Michael Finsbury
This is Julia Finsbury. Soon to be Julia Finsbury.
Alfred Pennyworth
Wayne Manor is your house... Your father is dead...
Batman/Bruce Wayne
Alfred, this place is a mauseleum. If I had it my way, I would bring this whole place down brick for brick.
Alfred Pennyworth
This home has sheltered six generations of your family.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
Why do you give a damn, Alfred? It's not your family.
Alfred Pennyworth
I give a damn, because a good man once made me responsible for what was most precious to him in the whole world. Miss Dawes has offered to drive you to the hearing. She probably tries to talk you out of going.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
Should I bury my past down there with my parents, Alfred?
Alfred Pennyworth
I wouldn't presume what to tell you what to do with your past, sir. Just know that there are those of us who care about what you do with your future.
Cutter
Didn't I tell you about the sailor who said what drowning felt like?
Robert Angier
He said it was like going home.
Cutter
I was wrong. He said it was agony.
Charlie Croker
Hang on a minute lads, I've got a great idea! Err... Err...
Finn McMissile
â??Friendships can be dangerous in our line of work, Mater.â?? -
Finn McMissile
Friendships can be dangerous in our line of work, Mater.
Finn McMissile
Finn McMissile: I haven't properly introduced myself,Finn McMissile, British intelligence. Mater: Tow Mater, average intelligence.
Finn McMissile
Finn: Changed of plan, you're meeting the American. Holley: What? Me? Finn: Those thugs Down there run the oil platform, If they see me the whole mission will be compromise Holley: No, No I'm technical you see. I'm in diagnostic. I'm not a field agent. Finn: you're now
Finn McMissile
Acer: "Finn McMissile? But you're dead!" Finn: "Then this shouldn't hurt at all!"
Finn McMissile
No one realized they're being fooled because they're too busy laughing at the fool, Brilliant!
Finn McMissile
"No one realized they're being fooled because they're too busy laughing at the fool, Brilliant!"
Finn McMissile
Finn: Changed of plan, you're meeting the American. Holley: What? Me? Finn: Those thugs Down there run the oil platform, If they see me the whole mission will be compromise Holley: No, No I'm technical you see. I'm in diagnostic. I'm not a field agent. Finn: you're now
Finn McMissile
Holley Shiftwell: Hello Finn Mcmissile: Hello Holley Shiftwell: " A Volkswagen Karmann Ghia has no radiator..." Finn Mcmissile: "That's because it's air-cooled." Holley Shiftwell: Good, Good, I'm agent shiftwell, Holley Shiftwell.
Finn McMissile
â??Friendships can be dangerous in our line of work, Mater.â?? -
Dr. Wilbur Larch
I had hoped to become a hero. But in St. Cloud's, there was no such position. In the lonely, sordid world of lost children, there were no heroes to be found. And so I became the caretaker of many, father of none. Well, in a way, there was one. His name was Homer Wells.
Dr. Wilbur Larch
"Sorry"? I'm not sorry. Not for anything I've done. I'm not even sorry that I love you.
Dr. Wilbur Larch
'Sorry'? I'm not sorry. Not for anything I've done. I'm not even sorry that I love you.
Dr. Wilbur Larch
I know it's against the law. I ask you, what has the law ever done for this place?
Alfred
You two should exchange notes over coffee
Bruce Wayne/Batman
So now you're trying to set me up with a jewel thief?
Alfred
At this point, I'd set you up with a chimpanzee if it'd brought you back to the world!
Alfred
Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
Alfred Pennyworth
Why do we fall sir? So we might learn to pick ourselves up.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
You still haven't given up on me?
Alfred Pennyworth
Never.
Cutter
You settled on a name yet?
Robert Angier
Yes I have. The Great Danton.
Cutter
Bit old-fashioned isn't it?
Robert Angier
No. It's sophisticated.
Cutter
Every great magic trick consists of three parts or acts. The first part is called "The Pledge". The magician shows you something ordinary: a deck of cards, a bird or a man. He shows you this object. Perhaps he asks you to inspect it to see if it is indeed real, unaltered, normal. But of course... it probably isn't. The second act is called "The Turn". The magician takes the ordinary something and makes it do something extraordinary. Now you're looking for the secret... but you won't find it, because of course you're not really looking. You don't really want to know. You want to be fooled. But you wouldn't clap yet. Because making something disappear isn't enough; you have to bring it back. That's why every magic trick has a third act, the hardest part, the part we call "The Prestige"
Cutter
Every great magic trick consists of three parts or acts. The first part is called 'The Pledge'. The magician shows you something ordinary: a deck of cards, a bird or a man. He shows you this object. Perhaps he asks you to inspect it to see if it is indeed real, unaltered, normal. But of course... it probably isn't. The second act is called "The Turn". The magician takes the ordinary something and makes it do something extraordinary. Now you're looking for the secret... but you won't find it, because of course you're not really looking. You don't really want to know. You want to be fooled. But you wouldn't clap yet. Because making something disappear isn't enough; you have to bring it back. That's why every magic trick has a third act, the hardest part, the part we call 'The Prestige'.
Miles
Come back to reality, Dom.
Miles
Come back to reality, Cobb.
Alfred Pennyworth
Are you coming back to Gotham for long, sir?
Batman/Bruce Wayne
As long as it takes. I'm gonna show the people of Gotham their city doesn't belong to the criminals and the corrupt.
Alfred Pennyworth
In the depression, your father nearly bankrupted Wayne Enterprises combating poverty. He believed that his example could inspire the wealthy of Gotham to save their city.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
Did it?
Lucius Fox
In a way. Their murders shocked the wealthy and the powerful into action.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
People need dramatic examples to shake them out of apathy and I can't do that as Bruce Wayne, as a man I'm flesh and blood I can be ignored I can be destroyed but as a symbol, as a symbol I can be incorruptible, I can be everlasting.
Alfred Pennyworth
What symbol?
Batman/Bruce Wayne
Something elemental, something terrifying.
Alfred Pennyworth
I assume that as you're taking on the underworld, this symbol is a persona to protect those you care about from reprisals.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
You thinking about Rachel?
Alfred Pennyworth
Actually, sir, I was thinking of myself.
Alfred Pennyworth
Why bats, Master Wayne?
Batman/Bruce Wayne
Bats frighten me. It's time my enemies shared my dread.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
The bandit, in the forest in Burma, did you catch him?
Alfred
Yes
Batman/Bruce Wayne
How?
Alfred
We burned the forest down.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
You look tired, Alfred. You'll be all right without me?
Alfred
You can tell me the Russian for, "Apply your own bloody suntan lotion."
Alfred
You can tell me the Russian for, 'Apply your own bloody suntan lotion.'
Alfred
Know your limits, Master Wayne.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
Batman has no limits.
Alfred
Well, you do, sir.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
Well, can't afford to know 'em.
Alfred
And what happens on the day that you find out?
Batman/Bruce Wayne
Well, we all know how much you love to say "I told you so."
Alfred
On that day, Master Wayne, even I won't want to. Probably.
Alfred
I suppose they'll lock me up as well. As your accomplice...
Batman/Bruce Wayne
Accomplice? I'm going to tell them the whole thing was your idea.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
Targeting me won't get their money back. I knew the mob wouldn't go down without a fight, but this is different. They crossed the line.
Alfred
You crossed the line first, sir. You squeezed them, you hammered them to the point of desperation. And in their desperation, they turned to a man they didn't fully understand.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
Criminals aren't complicated, Alfred. Just have to figure out what he's after.
Alfred
With respect Master Wayne, perhaps this is a man that *you* don't fully understand, either. A long time ago, I was in Burma. My friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of tribal leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest north of Rangoon by a bandit. So, we went looking for the stones. But in six months, we never met anybody who traded with him. One day, I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
So why steal them?
Alfred
Well, because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
Alfred
If you're seriously considering going back out there, you should hear the rumors surrounding Bane
Bruce Wayne/Batman
I'm all ears
Alfred
There is a prison in a more ancient part of the world, a pit where men are thrown to suffer and die. But sometimes a man rises from the darkness. Sometimes the pit sends something back
Bruce Wayne/Batman
Bane.
Alfred
Right. Born and raised in hell on earth.
Bruce Wayne/Batman
Born in prison?
Alfred
No one knows why or how he escaped, but they do know that once he did he was trained by Ra's Al Ghul, your mentor.
Fox
Bane was a member of The League of Shadows?
Alfred
And then he was excommunicated. And any man who is too extreme for Ra's Al Ghul is not to be trifled with.
Alfred
I'll get this to Mr. Fox, but no more. I've sewn you up, I've set your bones, but I won't bury you. I've buried enough members of the Wayne family.
Bruce Wayne/Batman
You'll leave me?
Alfred
You see only one end to your journey. Leaving is all I have to make you understand, you're not Batman anymore. You have to find another way. You used to talk about finishing a life beyond that awful cape.
Bruce Wayne/Batman
Rachel died believing that we would be together; that was my life beyond the cape. I can't just move on. She didn't, she couldn't.
Alfred
What if she had? What if, before she died, she wrote a letter saying she chose Harvey Dent over you? And what if, to spare your pain, I burnt that letter?
Bruce Wayne/Batman
How dare you use Rachel to try to stop me?
Alfred
I am using the truth, Master Wayne. Maybe it's time we all stop trying to outsmart the truth and let it have its day. I'm sorry
Bruce Wayne/Batman
You're sorry? You expect to destroy my world and then think we're going to shake hands?
Alfred
No... no, I know what this means.
Bruce Wayne/Batman
What does it mean?
Alfred
It means your hatred... and it also means losing someone that I have cared for since I first heard his cries echo through this house. But it might also mean saving your life. And that is more important.
Bruce Wayne/Batman
Good bye, Alfred.
Bruce Wayne/Batman
If this man is everything that you say he is, then this city needs me.
Alfred
This city needs Bruce Wayne, your resources, your knowledge. It doesn't need your body, or your life. That time has passed.
Bruce Wayne/Batman
You're afraid that if I go back out there I'll fail.
Alfred
No. I'm afraid that you want to.
Alfred
You two should exchange notes over coffee.
Bruce Wayne/Batman
So now you're trying to set me up with a jewel thief?
Alfred
At this point, I'd set you up with a chimpanzee if it'd brought you back to the world!
Bruce Wayne/Batman
There's nothing out there for me.
Alfred
And that's the problem. You hung up your cape and your cowl, but you didn't move on, you never went to find a life, to find someone.
Bruce Wayne/Batman
Alfred... I did find someone.
Alfred
I know, and you lost her. But that's all part of living, sir. But you're not living. You're just waiting, hoping for things to go bad again.
Alfred
Remember when you left Gotham? Before all this, before Batman? You were gone seven years. Seven years I waited, hoping that you wouldn't come back. Every year, I took a holiday. I went to Florence, there's this cafe, on the banks of the Arno. Every fine evening, I'd sit there and order a Fernet Branca. I had this fantasy, that I would look across the tables and I'd see you there, with a wife and maybe a couple of kids. You wouldn't say anything to me, nor me to you. But we'd both know that you'd made it, that you were happy. I never wanted you to come back to Gotham. I always knew there was nothing here for you, except pain and tragedy. And I wanted something more for you than that. I still do.
Kermit the Frog
"If you please Mr. Scrooge, it's gotten colder, and the bookkeeping staff would like an extra shovel full of coal for the fire?"
Kermit the Frog
If you please Mr. Scrooge, it's gotten colder, and the bookkeeping staff would like an extra shovel full of coal for the fire?
Additional Muppet Performer
"We can't do the bookkeeping, all our pens have turned to inkcicles!"
Additional Muppet Performer
We can't do the bookkeeping, all our pens have turned to inkcicles!
Additional Muppet Performer
"Our assets are frozen!"
Additional Muppet Performer
Our assets are frozen!
Ebenezer Scrooge
"How would the bookkeeping staff like to be suddenly... UNEMPLOYED?"
Ebenezer Scrooge
How would the bookkeeping staff like to be suddenly... UNEMPLOYED?
Additional Muppet Performer
[singing] "HEAT WAVE. This is my island in the sun.. "
Additional Muppet Performer
[singing] HEAT WAVE. This is my island in the sun.
Alfred
I never wanted you to come back to Gotham. I knew that there was nothing for you in here, other than despair and suffering.
Jasper
Pull my finger
Jasper
Pull my finger.
Alfred
[To Bruce] I never wanted you to come back to Gotham, because I know there's nothing for you here except for pain and tragedy. And I wanted more for you than that. I still do.
Alfred
[to Bruce] I never wanted you to come back to Gotham, because I know there's nothing for you here except for pain and tragedy. And I wanted more for you than that. I still do.
Alfred
Batman is gone! The city needs YOU now! Your resources, your knowledge! It doesn't need your body... or your life.
Bruce Wayne/Batman
You expect to destroy my world, and then we're just going to shake hands?
Alfred
No. I know what this means. It means your hatred. It means losing someone whom I have cared for since his cries first echoed through this house.
Cutter
(ending narration) Every magic trick consists of 3 parts, or "acts." The first part is called "the Pledge." The magician shows you something ordinary. The second act is called "the Turn." The magician takes the ordinary something, and makes it into something extraordinary. But, you wouldn't clap yet, because making something disappear isn't enough... you have to bring it BACK. Now, you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it, because, of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be... FOOLED.
Cutter
[ending narration] Every magic trick consists of 3 parts, or 'acts.' The first part is called 'the Pledge.' The magician shows you something ordinary. The second act is called "the Turn." The magician takes the ordinary something, and makes it into something extraordinary. But, you wouldn't clap yet, because making something disappear isn't enough... you have to bring it BACK. Now, you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it, because, of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be... FOOLED.
John Colby
What's the verdict on Williams?
Maj. Karl Von Steiner
A regrettable mistake.
John Colby
The whole bloody war's a regrettable mistake.
Maj. Karl Von Steiner
I agree.
Victor Melling
Oh my God! I haven't seen a walk like that since Jurassic Park!
Miles
Mr. Cobb has a job offer he'd like to discuss with you.
Ariadne
What? Like work placement?
Cobb
Not exactly.
Alexander
They better get here quick! We're running out of real estate!
Alexander
That wasn't so bad.
Sean Anderson
It wasn't very good!
Hank Parsons
Are you familiar with chicken?!
Alexander
These aren't chickens!
Hank Parsons
You, get down. NOW
Alexander
Why would I want to get down?
Hank Parsons
Well, because Medicare doesn't cover old ladies falling off giant bees. Get down.
Hank Parsons
I think it's best we get out of here. After that mating call, she might have some ideas of making you her husband...
Alexander
Oh, witty. Good for you Henry.
Hank Parsons
[LAUGHS] The name's Hank.It's never Henry. Just Hank
Hank Parsons
[LAUGHS] The name's Hank.It's never Henry. Just Hank.
Batman/Bruce Wayne
Alfred, I don't care about my name!
Alfred Pennyworth
It's not only your name, sir! It's your father's name! And it's all that's left of him! Please... don't destroy it.