Michael Palin

Michael Palin

Highest Rated: 100% An Accidental Studio (2019)

Lowest Rated: 18% Absolutely Anything (2017)

Birthday: May 5, 1943

Birthplace: Broomhill, Sheffield, Yorkshire, England

British actor/satirist Michael Palin first demonstrated his writing and performing skills at Oxford University's Experimental Theatre Club. Almost immediately upon graduation, Palin was snatched up by the BBC, which made excellent use of his scathing wit and thespic versatility in such series as Twice a Fortnight and The Complete and Utter History of Britain. A relative latecomer to the fabled Monty Python troupe, Palin made up for lost time, writing and performing in the group's long-running TV series and in such big-screen projects as Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) and Life of Brian (1978); he also wrote much of the musical score for Monty Python's the Meaning of Life (1983). To date, Palin and Cleese have been the two ex-Pythonites most active as solo performers. Palin was hilarious as the green-as-grass Reverend Charles Fort, ministering to "fallen women" ("Women who've tripped?") in The Missionary (1982) and as stuttering doofus Ken in A Fish Called Wanda (1988), winning a British Film Association award for the latter performance. Palin remained active in television into the 1990s with cheeky projects like Ripping Yarns (1976), Do Not Adjust Your Set (1977-79) and Palin's Column (1994). An inveterate globetrotter, Michael Palin channelled his wanderlust into several tongue-in-cheek TV miniseries, beginning with Around the World in 80 Days (1989). Palin mostly retired from acting after appearing in the Fish Called Wanda "sequel" Fierce Creatures in 1997, and has mainly focused on his travel documentaries in recent years.

Photos

Highest Rated Movies

Filmography

Movies

Credit
No Score Yet Python at 50: Silly Talks and Holy Grails Actor 2019
No Score Yet Final Ascent Actor 2019
100% An Accidental Studio Actor 2019
96% The Death of Stalin Vyacheslav Molotov 2018
18% Absolutely Anything Kindly Alien $0.7M 2017
No Score Yet Monty Python Live (Mostly) Actor $1.2M 2014
88% The Wipers Times General Mitford 2013
44% A Liar's Autobiography - The Untrue Story of Monty Python's Graham Chapman Actor 2012
92% Arthur Christmas Ernie Clicker $46.5M 2011
No Score Yet Monty Python: Almost the Truth - The Lawyers Cut Actor 2011
No Score Yet Not the Messiah (He's a Very Naughty Boy) Actor 2010
No Score Yet Monty Python Almost the Truth Obligatory Making of Special Actor 2009
No Score Yet Michael Palin: Hemingway Adventure (1999) with Great Railway Journeys Actor 2008
No Score Yet Monty Python - Before & After Actor 2008
No Score Yet Monty Python: The Other British Invasion Actor 2008
No Score Yet Michael Palin's Personal Best Actor 2005
95% Concert for George Actor $70.5K 2003
No Score Yet Beauty Actor 2001
No Score Yet Hemingway Adventure Actor 2000
No Score Yet Full Circle With Michael Palin Actor 1998
53% Fierce Creatures Bugsy Malone 1997
No Score Yet The Willows in Winter Actor 1996
75% The Wind in the Willows The Sun 1996
No Score Yet The Wind in the Willows Rat 1995
No Score Yet American Friends Screenwriter Reverend Francis Ashby 1991
No Score Yet Jack and the Beanstalk Actor 1991
No Score Yet Life of Python Actor 1990
No Score Yet The Secret Policeman's Biggest Ball Actor 1989
No Score Yet Monty Python's Parrot Sketch Not Included Actor 1989
94% A Fish Called Wanda Ken 1988
No Score Yet Branchline Railway Introduction 1988
88% A Private Function Gilbert Chilvers 1985
98% Brazil Jack Lint 1985
No Score Yet The Secret Policeman's Private Parts Actor 1984
86% Monty Python's The Meaning of Life Window Washer/Harry/Fish #5/Mr. Pycroft/Dad/Chaplain/Carter Screenwriter 1983
100% The Missionary Producer Rev. Charles Fortescue Screenwriter 1982
No Score Yet Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl Argument customer Various roles Screenwriter 1982
89% The Secret Policeman's Other Ball Actor 1982
89% Time Bandits Vincent Screenwriter 1981
No Score Yet The Secret Policeman's Ball Actor 1981
95% Monty Python's Life of Brian Wise Man Pontius Pilate Francis Big Nose Screenwriter 1979
100% All You Need Is Cash Eric Manchester 1978
47% Jabberwocky Dennis Cooper 1977
No Score Yet Pleasure at Her Majesty's (Monty Python Meets Beyond the Fringe) Actor 1976
97% Monty Python and the Holy Grail Screenwriter 1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds 1975
91% Monty Python's And Now for Something Completely Different Lost His Wallet Screenwriter 1972
No Score Yet Michael Palin: A Life in Pictures Actor

TV

Credit
No Score Yet Worzel Gummidge
2019
2019
100% Michael Palin in North Korea
2018
Host 2018
No Score Yet Remember Me
2014
Tom Parfitt 2017
No Score Yet The Graham Norton Show
2007
Guest 2014
2012
2009
No Score Yet Great Performances
2000
Performer 2004
No Score Yet Saturday Night Live
1975
Host Guest 1984
1980
1979
1978
No Score Yet A Life on Screen
2014
Guest
No Score Yet Brazil with Michael Palin
2012
Host
No Score Yet GBH
1991
Jim Nelson
100% Monty Python's Flying Circus
1969-1974
Performer Director Screenwriter Producer

QUOTES FROM Michael Palin CHARACTERS

1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds says: What, Ridden on a horse?

King Arthur, Three-Headed Knight, Hiccoughing Guard says: Yes!

1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds says: You're using coconuts!

King Arthur, Three-Headed Knight, Hiccoughing Guard says: What?

1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds says: You've got two empty halves of coconuts and your bangin' 'em together.

Pontius Pilate says: "Wait until Biggus Dickus hears of this!!!"

Pontius Pilate says: Wait until Biggus Dickus hears of this!

Knight says: Ni!

King Arthur says: How does it... um... how does it work?

Sir Lancelot says: I know not, my liege.

King Arthur says: Consult the Book of Armaments!

Maynard says: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.

Minstrel + minor role says: And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...

Minstrel + minor role says: And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...

Maynard says: Skip a bit, brother...

Minstrel + minor role says: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.

Minstrel + minor role says: And the Lord spake, saying, First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.

Maynard says: Amen.

King Arthur says: Right. One... two... five!

Sir Galahad says: Three, sir.

King Arthur says: Three!

Centurion says: Well, it's a joke sir, like Sillius Soddus or Biggus Dickus, Sir.

Pontius Pilate says: What's so funny about Biggus Dickus?

Centurion says: Well, it's a joke name, Sir.

Dennis says: Help, I'm being oppressed. Come and see the violence inherent in the system.

Pontius Pilate says: He has a wife, you know. You know what she's called. She's called incontinentia, Incontinentia Buttocks.

Pontius Pilate says: Welease Woger!

King Arthur says: Old woman.

Dennis says: Man.

King Arthur says: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?

Dennis says: I'm 37.

King Arthur says: What?

Dennis says: I'm 37. I'm not old.

King Arthur says: Well I can't just call you "man".

King Arthur says: Well I can't just call you 'man'.

Dennis says: Well you could say "Dennis".

Dennis says: Well you could say 'Dennis'.

King Arthur says: I didn't know you were called Dennis.

Dennis says: Well you didn't bother to find out did you?

Dennis says: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Pontius Pilate says: Wait till Biggus Dickus hears of this!

Dennis says: We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune.

Pontius Pilate says: What's so funny about Biggus Dickus?

Mr. Cheeky says: Oi, I think he just said bless be all the bignoses!

Big Nose says: Alright, you say that ONCE more, and I'll punch you in the face!

Mrs. Big Nose says: Oh, leave him alone! And don't pick your nose!

Big Nose says: I wasn't picking it, I was scratching it!

Zoot/Dingo says: And after the spanking, the oral sex!

Sir Galahad says: Well, I suppose I could stay a bit longer.

Sir Lancelot says: i thought your son was a girl

Sir Lancelot says: I thought your son was a girl.

King says: thats understandable

King says: That's understandable.

Jack Lint says: Information Transit got the wrong man. I got the *right* man. The wrong one was delivered to me as the right man, I accepted him on good faith as the right man. Was I wrong?

King Arthur says: [calling out to the battlements] Hello! Hello!

French says: Hallo? Who is it?

King Arthur says: It is King Arthur, and these are his Knights of the Round Table. Whose castle is this?

French says: This is the castle of my master, Guy de Lombard.

King Arthur says: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he can provide us food and shelter for the night he can join us on the quest for the Holy Grail.

French says: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'd be very keen. He's already got one you see?

King Arthur says: [puzzled] What?

Sir Galahad says: They said they already got one.

Ken says: Otto t-t-tried to k-k-kiss me.

Wanda Gerschwitz says: I thought he might.

Ken says: Don't call me stupid.

Dennis says: Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.

King Arthur says: I am your king.

Dennis's Mother says: Well I didn't vote for you.

King Arthur says: You don't vote for kings.

Dennis's Mother says: Well how'd you become king then?

King Arthur says: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.

Dennis says: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds says: Who goes there?

King Arthur says: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!

1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds says: Pull the other one!

King Arthur says: I am, and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.

1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds says: What? Ridden on a horse?

King Arthur says: Yes!

1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds says: You're using coconuts!

King Arthur says: What?

1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds says: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.

King Arthur says: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through...

1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds says: Where'd you get the coconuts?

King Arthur says: We found them.

1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds says: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!

King Arthur says: What do you mean?

1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds says: Well, this is a temperate zone.

King Arthur says: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?

1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds says: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

King Arthur says: Not at all. They could be carried.

1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds says: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?

King Arthur says: It could grip it by the husk!

1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds says: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.

King Arthur says: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?

1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds says: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?

King Arthur says: Please!

1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds says: Am I right?

Old Man from Scene 24 says: What is your name?

Sir Galahad says: Sir Galahad.

Old Man from Scene 24 says: What is your quest?

Sir Galahad says: I seek the Holy Grail.

Old Man from Scene 24 says: What, is your favorite color?

Sir Galahad says: Red. No! Blue- [Falls into pit]

Sir Galahad says: Red. No! Blue - [falls into pit]

Sir Lancelot says: She turned me into a newt!

Sir Galahad says: A newt?

Sir Lancelot says: ...I got better...

Sir Lancelot says: I got better...

Dennis says: You think your king just because some hag threw a sword at you?

King says: You only killed the bride's father, you know.

Sir Lancelot says: Well, I didn't mean to.

King says: Didn't mean to? You put your sword right through his head.

Sir Lancelot says: Oh dear... is he all right?

King Arthur says: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.

Dennis says: Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Big Nose says: God bless it of the cheesemakers!

Big Nose says: Blessed are the cheesemakers!