Val Kilmer

Val Kilmer

Highest Rated: 92% True Romance (1993)

Lowest Rated: 0% Run for the Money (2002)

Birthday: Dec 31, 1959

Birthplace: Los Angeles, California, USA

Born December 31, 1959, actor Val Kilmer's chameleon-like ability to plunge fully and breathlessly into his characters represents both the gift that catapulted him to fame in the mid eighties, and that which - by its very nature of anonymity - held him back from megastardom for some time. Such an ability - doubtless, the result of exhaustive, heavily-disciplined training and rehearsal - also explains Kilmer's alleged on-set reputation as a perfectionist (which caused a number of major directors to supposedly tag him as 'difficult'), but the results are typically so electric that Kilmer's influx of assignments has never stopped. He is also extraordinarily selective about projects. Trying valiantly to maintain a firm hold on his career, he turned down offers for box office blockbusters including Blue Velvet, Dirty Dancing, and Indecent Proposal for personal and artistic reasons. A Los Angeles native, Kilmer acted in high school with friend Kevin Spacey before attending the Hollywood Professional School and Juilliard. He appeared on the New York stage and in Shakespeare festivals before his cinematic debut as the rock idol Nick Rivers in the Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker spy spoof Top Secret! (1984). An absurd role which Kilmer plays with complete sincerity, it reveals genuine musical talent and Kilmer achieves complete credibility as a rock star. Throughout the eighties, Kilmer played as diverse an assortment of roles as could be found: he was the goofy, playfully sarcastic, egghead roommate and mentor to Gabe Jarrett in Martha Coolidge's Real Genius, the cocky Ice Man in Top Gun, and warrior Madmartigan in the Ron Howard/George Lucas fantasy Willow (1988). Kilmer's cinematic breakthrough arrived in 1991, for his portrayal of rock icon Jim Morrison in Oliver Stone's The Doors; some speculated that Stone hired Kilmer solely on the basis of the musical gifts showcased seven years prior in Top Secret!. As the philosophical, death-obsessed rocker (and druggie) Morrison, Kilmer performed a number of the Doors songs on the soundtrack, sans dubbing. Kilmer played other American icons in his next two films - gunslinger Doc Holliday in Tombstone and the spirit of Elvis in True Romance; both did remarkable business at the box office. Due to his persistent need for an on-set dialogue with his directors, Kilmer clashed with Michael Apted on the set of Thunderheart (1992) and Joel Schumacher on the set of Batman Forever. He openly refused to repeat the Bruce Wayne role for Batman and Robin (1997). Instead, Kilmer headlined Michael Mann's 1995 Heat with two legends, Robert De Niro and Al Pacino. This time around, he met with a more accommodating (or at least more tolerant) director, Michael Mann. Working with another acting veteran, he co-starred with Michael Douglas for the hunting adventure The Ghost and the Darkness. Unfortunately, his next few films were disappointments, particularly The Saint and The Island of Dr. Moreau. He switched gears a few times with little success, turning to romantic drama in At First Sight and to science fiction in Red Planet, but neither fit his dramatic intensity. After lending his booming voice to the part of Moses in the Dreamworks animated film The Prince of Egypt (1998), Kilmer appeared in The Salton Sea (1991) as a tormented drug addict. In 2003, he lined up quite a few projects, including the crime thriller Mindhunters and the drama Blind Horizon. In the same year he earned a starring role as another aggressive American icon, John Holmes ("the John Wayne of porn"), for the thriller Wonderland (2003). That same fall, Kilmer re-teamed with Ron Howard for the director's lackluster Searchers retread, The Missing (2003). He also re-collaborated with Oliver Stone (for the first occasion since The Doors) in the director's disappointing historical epic Alexander (2004), opposite Angelina Jolie, Anthony Hopkins, and Colin Farrell. He returned to form (and a leading role) in 2005, with the comedy-thriller Kiss, Kiss, Ban

Photos

Highest Rated Movies

Filmography

Movies

Credit
68% Jay & Silent Bob Reboot Actor 2019
No Score Yet Le concierge Actor 2019
40% The Super Walter 2018
No Score Yet 1st Born Actor 2018
7% The Snowman Gert Rafto $6.7M 2017
43% Song to Song Duane $0.5M 2017
69% Palo Alto Stewart $0.5M 2014
No Score Yet Tom Sawyer & Huckleberry Finn Mark Twain 2014
56% Standing Up Hofstadder 2013
26% Planes Bravo $71.3M 2013
No Score Yet Riddle Sheriff Richards 2013
No Score Yet Breathless Dale 2012
No Score Yet Deep in the Heart The Bearded Man 2012
No Score Yet Wyatt Earp's Revenge Wyatt Earp 2012
26% Twixt Hall Baltimore 2012
No Score Yet Unconquered; Allan Houser and the Legacy of One Apache Family Actor 2012
No Score Yet The Fourth Dimension Hector 2012
No Score Yet Seven Below Bill 2012
34% 5 Days Of War Laurens 'Dutchman' Roemer $17.7K 2011
50% Bloodworth Warren Bloodworth $10.1K 2011
No Score Yet Blood Out Arturo 2011
62% Kill the Irishman Joe Manditski $1.2M 2011
No Score Yet Gun Angel 2011
20% The Traveler Mr. Nobody 2010
48% MacGruber Dieter Von Cunth $8.1M 2010
No Score Yet Double Identity Actor 2009
85% Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans Stevie Pruit $1.7M 2009
No Score Yet Hardwired Virgil 2009
40% Streets of Blood Andy Devereaux 2009
No Score Yet American Cowslip Todd Inglebrink 2009
No Score Yet The Steam Experiment (The Chaos Experiment) Professor Raymond Fowler 2009
No Score Yet Fake Identity Dr. Nicholas Pinter 2009
12% Delgo Bogardus $0.6M 2008
63% Felon John Smith 2008
No Score Yet Conspiracy MacPherson 2008
No Score Yet Comanche Moon Inish Scull 2008
No Score Yet Columbus Day John Cologne 2008
33% Summer Love (Dead Man's Bounty) Wanted Man 2007
No Score Yet American Meth Narrator 2007
No Score Yet Have Dreams, Will Travel (Dream It Out Loud) Actor 2007
No Score Yet The Ten Commandments: The Musical Actor 2006
No Score Yet Moscow Zero Andrey 2006
No Score Yet Played Dillon 2006
19% 10th & Wolf Murtha 2006
33% Trudell Actor 2006
No Score Yet Alexander Revisited: Final Cut Philip 2006
85% Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Gay Perry $4.3M 2005
24% Mindhunters Jake Harris 2005
No Score Yet Champion Actor 2005
16% Alexander Philip $34.3M 2004
No Score Yet Alexander: The Ultimate Cut Philip 2004
24% Stateside SDI Skeer $0.2M 2004
No Score Yet George and the Dragon (Dragon Sword) El Cabillo 2004
65% Spartan Robert Scott $4.3M 2004
No Score Yet Alexander - Directors Cut Actor 2004
58% The Missing Lt. Jim Ducharme $27M 2003
34% Wonderland John C. Holmes 2003
25% Masked and Anonymous Animal Wrangler $0.2M 2003
No Score Yet Blind Horizon Frank Kavanaugh 2003
64% The Salton Sea Danny/Tom $0.7M 2002
0% Run for the Money Mark Cornell 2002
81% Pollock Willem de Kooning $7.3M 2000
14% Red Planet Gallagher 2000
No Score Yet Jane's Addiction: Three Days Actor 1999
67% Joe the King Bob 1999
32% At First Sight Virgil Adamson 1999
80% The Prince of Egypt Moses/God 1998
No Score Yet Dead Girl Actor 1998
30% The Saint Simon Templar 1997
51% The Ghost and the Darkness Col. John Henry Patterson 1996
24% The Island of Dr. Moreau Montgomery 1996
No Score Yet Maneaters of Tsavo Actor 1996
86% Heat Chris Shiherlis 1995
39% Batman Forever Batman/Bruce Wayne 1995
No Score Yet Wings of Courage Jean Mermoz 1995
73% Tombstone Doc Holliday 1993
18% The Real McCoy J.T. 1993
92% True Romance Mentor 1993
88% Thunderheart Ray Levoi 1992
57% The Doors Jim Morrison 1991
No Score Yet Kill Me Again Jack Andrews 1989
No Score Yet Billy The Kid (Gore Vidal's Billy the Kid) William Bonney 1989
50% Willow Madmartigan 1988
No Score Yet The Man Who Broke 1,000 Chains Robert Elliot Burns 1987
No Score Yet The Murders in the Rue Morgue Philippe Huron 1986
54% Top Gun Lt. Tom `Iceman' Kazanski 1986
75% Real Genius Chris Knight 1985
77% Top Secret! Nick 1984
No Score Yet Silver Cord Actor

TV

Credit
74% The Spoils Before Dying
2014
General 2015
2014
81% The Spoils of Babylon
2014-2015
General 2015
2014
No Score Yet Conan
2010
Guest 2013
No Score Yet Late Night With Jimmy Fallon
2009-2014
Guest 2013
53% Life's Too Short
2011
Val Kilmer 2013
No Score Yet Sunday Morning
2011-2018
Appearing 2013
2012
9% Knight Rider
2008-2009
Voice 2009
2008
No Score Yet Comanche Moon
2008
Inish Scull 2008
66% Entourage
2004-2011
Guest 2004
No Score Yet The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
1999-2015
Guest 2004
No Score Yet The Tonight Show With Jay Leno
1992-2014
Guest 2002
No Score Yet Saturday Night Live
1975
Guest Host 2000

QUOTES FROM Val Kilmer CHARACTERS

Gallagher says: Alternate high-voltage-energy source... . come and get me.

Gallagher says: Alternate high-voltage-energy source. Come and get me.

Gallagher says: Hey sweetie.

Gallagher says: Hey sweetie.

Chip Pettengill says: Sweetie ? Is she our navigator or your girlfriend ?

Chip Pettengill says: Sweetie? Is she our navigator or your girlfriend?

Gallagher says: It`s been a long flight.

Gallagher says: It`s been a long flight.

Chip Pettengill says: Certainly has.

Chip Pettengill says: Certainly has.

Gallagher says: Maybe life`s more mysterious than you think it is.

Gallagher says: It`s been a long flight.

Chip Pettengill says: Certainly has.

Gallagher says: We can breathe !

Gallagher says: We can breathe!

Dr. Quinn Burchenal says: I don`t know what the hell this is but I`ll take it !

Dr. Quinn Burchenal says: I don`t know what the hell this is but I`ll take it!

Chip Pettengill says: It`s weird. There`s nothing here.

Gallagher says: It`s Mars.

Doc Holliday says: Ed, what an ugly thing to say... does this mean we're not friends anymore? You know, Ed, if I thought you weren't my friend, I just don't think I could bear it.

Robby Gallagher says: God works in mysterious ways.

Robby Gallagher says: God works in mysterious ways.

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: I don't blend in at a family picnic.

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: We all wear masks.

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: Just like my parents. Its happening again... a monster comes out of the night, a scream, 2 shots.... I killed them.

Alfred Pennyworth says: What did you say?

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: He killed them, Two-Face. He slaughtered that boys parents.

Alfred Pennyworth says: No, no you said "I" "I killed them".

Dr. Chase Meridian says: My opinion? This letter writer is a total wacko.

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: Wacko? that a technical term?

Dr. Chase Meridian says: Patient may suffer from obsessional syndrome with potential homicidal tendencies. Does that work better for you?

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: So, what you're saying is, this guy's a total wacko?

Dr. Chase Meridian says: Exactly.He's obsessed with you. His only escape may be to purge the fixation.

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: To kill me.

Dr. Chase Meridian says: I think you understand obsession more than you let on.

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: ...... You have a thing for bats?

Dr. Chase Meridian says: Oh that's a Rorschach Mr. Wayne, an ink blot, people see what they want. I think the question would be, do you have a thing for a bats?

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: You need help Harvey!

Jim Morrison says: The quote is from William Blake. "When the doors of perception are cleansed, things will appear as they really are."

Danny Parker says: For the people who don't do drugs, or just do them occasionally, it's something that becomes your life, and you belong. You finally hit bottom and you know who you are, because you can't go any lower. When you find... a friendship that you wouldn't have found anywhere else. Still and all, there's a kind of intimacy with those that can go the distance. Sometimes you see the world so clearly... and you know just what to do, and just when to do it. Just what you should've done, and when you should've done it.

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: Can I give up? Can I leave the shadows?

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: Hang on.

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: The Bat-Signal is not a Beeper.

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: What do you suggest Alfred, by sea? or by air?

Robin / Dick Grayson says: Why not both?

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: Who's your tailor?

Alfred Pennyworth says: I took the liberty sir.

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: R? what's that stand for?

Robin / Dick Grayson says: Robin. Riddler and Two-Face could make a pretty lethal combination, figured you could use a hand.

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: Two against Two are better odds.

Robin / Dick Grayson says: I can't promise I won't kill Harvey.

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: A man's got to go his own way, a friend taught me that.

Robin / Dick Grayson says: Not just a friend.

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: A partner.

Robin / Dick Grayson says: All I can think about every second of the day is getting Two-Face. He took my whole life. And when I was out there tonight, I imagined it was him that I was fighting, even when I was fighting you... and all the pain went away. Do you understand?

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: Yes I do.

Robin / Dick Grayson says: Good, cause you got to help me find him, and when we do, I'm the one who kills him.

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: So you're willing to take a life?

Robin / Dick Grayson says: Long as it's Two-Face.

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: Then, It will happen this way, you make the kill, but your pain doesn't die with Harvey it grows. So you run out into the night to find another face, and another, and another. Until one terrible morning you wake up and realize that revenge has become your whole life... and you won't know why.

Robin / Dick Grayson says: You can't understand, your family wasn't killed by a maniac!

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: Yes they were... We're the same.

Robin / Dick Grayson says: Then if we're the same Bruce, help me, alright? Train me, let me be your partner.

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: No... I can't... you still have a choice.

Robin / Dick Grayson says: Look Bruce, I'm a part of this whether you like it not.

Robin / Dick Grayson says: Bastard! it should have been you! it's your fault! if you'd have told Two-Face who you were at the circus, they'd still be alive!

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: If Bruce Wayne could have given his life for your family, he would have.

Doc Holliday says: Oh, Johnny, I apologize; I forgot you were there. You may go now.

Jake Harris says: Are you having fun yet? I'm having fun.

Jake Harris says: Here we are in Crimetown, USA, where all the residents are dead, or soon will be.

Jake Harris says: Your most lethal weapon isn't your firearm, It's your brain.

King Philip II says: All your life, beware of women, Alexander. They are much more dangerous than men.

Robby Gallagher says: "Kill him."

Robby Gallagher says: Kill him.

Robby Gallagher says: (to AMEE robot) "Hey, sweetie."

Robby Gallagher says: Hey, sweetie.

Chip Pettengill says: "Sweetie ? Is she our navigator or your girlfriend ?"

Chip Pettengill says: Sweetie? Is she our navigator or your girlfriend?

Robby Gallagher says: "Hard to believe they're the good guys."

Robby Gallagher says: Hard to believe they're the good guys.

Gay Perry says: That's impossible. They don't even know you. They couldn't possibly...

Harry Lockhart says: No they couldn't. You're right. And since the body can't be here and this is all a dream and oh look, there's Elmo the Elf. Good morning Elmo. What's in your basket?!

Harry Lockhart says: No, they couldn't. You're right. And since the body can't be here and this is all a dream and oh look, there's Elmo the Elf. Good morning Elmo. What's in your basket?

Robby Gallagher says: "Aw, man. I saw Elvis."

Robby Gallagher says: Aw, man. I saw Elvis.

Robby Gallagher says: "I'm gonna die on this planet."

Robby Gallagher says: I'm gonna die on this planet.

Robby Gallagher says: "That's my kind of girl."

Robby Gallagher says: That's my kind of girl.

Staff Sgt. Skeer says: You are here because you could not be trained to become men by the mothers of America.

Gay Perry says: Okay. You've got thirty of my fucking seconds. Thrill me.

Rameses says: Why can't things go back to the way they were?

Moses / God says: Because no kingdom should built on the backs of slaves.

Doc Holliday says: Maybe poker just isn't your game. I've got an idea let's have a spelling contest.

Doc Holliday says: Maybe poker just isn't your game. I've got an idea let's have a spelling contest.

Doc Holliday says: I have two guns, one for each of ya.

Assistant says: Can I fix you a sandwich for your drive, sir?

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: I'll take drive-thru.

Gay Perry says: Is that it?

Harry Lockhart says: No, that's the other corpse from the last guy who stayed here.

Gay Perry says: Go. sleep badly. any questions, hesitate to call.

Harry Lockhart says: Bad.

Gay Perry says: Excuse me?

Harry Lockhart says: Bad. Sleep bad. Otherwise it seems like the mechanism that allows you to sleep...

Gay Perry says: What, fuckhead? Badly's an adverb. Who taught you grammar? Get out.

Turkey Creek Jack Johnson says: Why you doin' this, Doc?

Doc Holliday says: Because Wyatt Earp is my friend.

Turkey Creek Jack Johnson says: Friend? Hell, I got lots of friends.

Doc Holliday says: â?¦ I donâ??t.

Doc Holliday says: I don't.

Virgil Adamson says: As a blind man, I think I see a lot better than when I as sighted...because I think we don't really see with our eyes. I think we live in darkness when we don't really see what's real about ourselves.

Virgil Adamson says: Seeing sucks.

Amy Benic says: Have you ever wondered what it would be like to see?

Virgil Adamson says: Sure. Like,uh, if there's life on Mars, or whether or not the aliens built the Pyramids.

Gay Perry says: Why in pluperfect hell would you pee on a corpse?

Cunth says: I was talking to the missile.

Gay Perry says: I shot him with a small revolver I keep near my balls.

Doc Holliday says: I'm your Huckleberry, that's just my game.

Gay Perry says: Merry Christmas, sorry I fucked you over.

Harry Lockhart says: No problem. Don't quit your gay job.

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: I see without seeing, to me, darkness is as clear as daylight, what am I?

Riddler/Edward Nygma says: Please. You're as blind as a bat.

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: Exactly!

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: I'm Bruce Wayne and Batman, not because I have to, it because I choose to, I choose to be Batman Forever.

Alfred Pennyworth says: I'm sorry to bother you sir. I have some rather distressing news about Master Dick.

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: Is he alright?

Alfred Pennyworth says: I'm afraid Master Dick has gone traveling. Actually, he took the car.

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: He boosted the Jag?

Alfred Pennyworth says: Not the Jaguar. The other car.

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: The Bentley?

Alfred Pennyworth says: No sir...the other car.

Willow Ufgood says: Don't call me a peck!

Madmartigan says: Oh, I'm sorry! Peck! Peck! Peck, peck, peck, peck, peck, peck, peck!

Tom Kasanzky says: You can be my wingman anytime

Tom Kasanzky says: You can be my wingman anytime.

Moses / God says: What do you want with me?

Moses / God says: I have seen the oppression of my people in Egypt and have heard their cry. So I have come down to deliver them out of slavery and bring them to a good land; a land flowing with milk and honey. And so onto Pharaoh I shall send you.

Moses / God says: Me? Who am I to lead these people? They'll never believe me. They won't even listen.

Moses / God says: I shall teach you what to say. *echoes* Let my people go!

Moses / God says: But I was their enemy. I was the Prince of Egypt, the son of the man who slaughtered their children. You-You've chosen the wrong messenger. H-How can I even speak to these people?

Moses / God says: *with anger* Who made man's power? Who made the deaf, the mute, the seeing and the blind? Was it not I? Now go! *soothing* Oh, Moses. I shall be with you when you go to the king of Egypt, but Pharaoh will not listen. So I will stretch out my hand and smite Egypt with all my wonders. Take the staff in your hand Moses. With it, you shall do my wonders. I shall be with you, Moses. Moses. Moses.

Moses / God says: Who are you?

Moses / God says: I am that I am.

Moses / God says: I don't understand.

Moses / God says: I am the God of your ancestors: Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

Moses / God says: *whispering* Moses.

Moses / God says: Here I am.

Alfred Pennyworth says: Do you want to take a sandwich with you, sir?

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: I'll get drive-thru.

Moses / God says: Rameses, your stubbornness is bringing this misery upon Egypt. It would cease if only you would let the Hebrews go.

Rameses says: I will not be dictated to. I will not be threatened. I am the morning and the evening star. I am Pharaoh.

Moses / God says: But something else is coming, something much worse than anything before. Please. Let go of your contempt for life before you destroy everything you all dear. Think of your son.

Rameses says: I do. You Hebrews have been nothing but trouble. My father had the right idea about how to deal with your people.

Moses / God says: Rameses.

Rameses says: And I think it's time I finished the job.

Rameses says: And there shall be a great cry in all of Egypt, such as never has been or ever will be again.

Moses / God says: Rameses you bring this upon yourself.

Moses / God says: Well that went well.

Rameses says: Just go away.

Moses / God says: It could have been worse.

Rameses says: "The weak link in the chain." That's what he called me.

Rameses says: 'The weak link in the chain.' That's what he called me.

Moses / God says: *jokingly* Well, you are rather pathetic.

Rameses says: Irresponsible, ignorant of the traditions. He practically accused me of bringing down the dynasty.

Moses / God says: *jokingly* Yeah I can see it now: there go the pyramids.

Rameses says: You can laugh about it.

Moses / God says: *jokingly*Statues cracking and toppling over, the Nile drying up. Single-handedly, you will manage to bring the greatest kingdom on earth to ruin.

Sorsha says: You lost your skirt.

Madmartigan says: I've still got what counts.

Willow Ufgood says: What are you giving her?

Madmartigan says: Just some blackroot.

Willow Ufgood says: Blackroot! Didn't you ever hear that you never ever give a baby blackroot?

Madmartigan says: Nonsense! I was weaned on blackroot! It's good for her. Puts hair on her chest. Doesn't it Nibs?

Willow Ufgood says: Her name is NOT Nibs! It's Elora Dannen, and she's a princess. And the last thing she's going to want is a hairy chest!

Doc Holliday says: "Why Johnny Ringo. You look like someone just...walked over your grave."

Doc Holliday says: Why Johnny Ringo. You look like someone just...walked over your grave.

Doc Holliday says: I have not yet begun to defile myself.

Doc Holliday says: I have two guns...one for each of ya

Doc Holliday says: I have two guns...one for each of ya.

Llug says: Wanna breed?

Madmartigan says: err... tempting but, no!

Madmartigan says: Err... tempting but, no!

Gay Perry says: You! Stop multiplying.

Robby Gallagher says: Fuck this planet!

Robby Gallagher says: I can breathe!

Tom Kasanzky says: You really are a bunch of cowboys.

Lt. Pete Mitchell says: What's your problem Kasanzky?

Tom Kasanzky says: You're everyone's problem. That's because every time you go up there you're "unsafe". I don't like you because you're dangerous.

Tom Kasanzky says: You're everyone's problem. That's because every time you go up there you're 'unsafe'. I don't like you because you're dangerous.

Lt. Pete Mitchell says: That's right Ice..man! I am dangerous.

Tom Kasanzky says: [chomps]

Lt. Pete Mitchell says: [laughs]

Doc Holliday says: It seems poker just ain't your game! I know... How about a spelling contest?

MacGruber says: So what's going on??

MacGruber says: So what's going on?

Vicki says: Well it looks as if that handsome guy has some kind of tie to Cunth's men.

MacGruber says: You think he's handsome do you?

Vicki says: Well yeah kind of...

Cunth says: Well why don't you marry him then!! Why don't you quite the case and marry him I'm being serious!

Cunth says: Well why don't you marry him then! Why don't you quite the case and marry him I'm being serious!

Tom Kasanzky says: The plaque for the alternates is down in the ladies room

Tom Kasanzky says: The plaque for the alternates is down in the ladies room.

Chris Knight says: "This is under H for toy."

Chris Knight says: 'This is under H for toy.'

Chris Knight says: This? This is Ice, this is what happens when water gets too cold; This, this is Kent, this is what happens when one gets too sexually frustrated

Chris Knight says: This? This is Ice, this is what happens when water gets too cold; This, this is Kent, this is what happens when one gets too sexually frustrated.

Chris Knight says: Self-Realization Mitch. In the immortal words of our beloved Socrates when he said, " I drank what?"

Chris Knight says: Self-Realization Mitch. In the immortal words of our beloved Socrates when he said, 'I drank what?'

Jim Morrison says: I believe in a long prolonged derangement of the senses to attain the unknown... Although I live in the subconscious, our pale reason hides the infinite from us.

Gay Perry says: Look up idiot in the dictionary and you know what you'll find?

Harry Lockhart says: A... picture of my face?

Gay Perry says: No! The definition of the word idiot which you fucking are!

Joe Manditski says: You think the luck of the Irish is gonna save you

Joe Manditski says: You really think the luck of the Irish is going to save you?

Joe Manditski says: ...I'll cut your fuckin heart out with a rusty butter knife and eat it while it's still beating.

Joe Manditski says: I will cut your fucking heart out with a rusty butter knife and eat it while it's still beating.

Bill Clanton says: Hah! Drunk piano player...you're so drunk you can't hit nothing. In fact - you're probably seeing double. [draws knife]

Bill Clanton says: Why, it's the drunk piano player. You're so drunk, you can't hit nothin'. In fact, you're probably seeing double. [Billy Clanton draws a knife]

Doc Holliday says: [draws a second pistol] I have two guns...one for each of you.

Doc Holliday says: [takes out a second gun] I have two guns, one for each of ya.

Madmartigan says: "I am the greatest swordsman to ever live."

Madmartigan says: I am the greatest swordsman that ever lived.

Gay Perry says: Okay, first things first. We gotta move [the corpse] somewhere. You got gloves?

Harry Lockhart says: Excuse me?

Gay Perry says: Gloves. Do you have gloves? You have to move her. If it's a frame-up, some asshole's calling the cops on you. Do this: wrap up the body in a blanket, a sheet, anything.

Harry Lockhart says: Okay uh, any particular kind of gloves?

Gay Perry says: Yes, fawn. Will you fucking hurry?

Queen Bavmorda says: If I had to pick a day I would probably say Sunday.

Madmartigan says: That would be a good choice

Madmartigan says: That would be a good choice.

Tom Kasanzky says: You're unsafe. I don't like you because you're dangerous.

Lt. Pete Mitchell says: That's right, Iceman! I am dangerous.

Gay Perry says: And to all you good people in the midwest,we're sorry we said f**k so much

Gay Perry says: And to all you good people in the midwest, we're sorry we said f**k so much.

Madmartigan says: I'd say two or three hundred horses, five or six wagons... and about a thousand fools.

Madmartigan says: I'd say two or three hundred horses, five or six wagons... and about a thousand fools.

Madmartigan says: It...went away.

Madmartigan says: It... went away.

Warren Bloodworth says: I guess God told you that.

Dutchman says: So you guys got a... plan yet?

Frank says: Memorable as I can't remember what.

Vicki says: Stick it where the sun don't shine, Deiter!

Cunth says: Yeah, and where might that be?

Vicki says: Up your butt? Up your butt-hole.

Gay Perry says: Go, sleep badly. Any questions, hesitate to call...

Gay Perry says: Go, sleep badly. Any questions, hesitate to call.

Doc Holliday says: I'm dying. How are you?

Doc Holliday says: I'm dying, how are you?

Doc Holliday says: You look like somebody just walked over your grave.

Doc Holliday says: [to Johnny Ringo] Why Johnny Ringo, you look like somebody just walked over your grave.

Wyatt Earp says: You tell 'em I'm comin' and Hell is comin' with me, you hear? Hell's comin' with me!

Doc Holliday says: You tell 'em I'm coming, and hell's coming with me, you hear? [louder] Hell's coming with me!

Wyatt Earp says: You tell 'em I'm coming, and hell's coming with me, you hear? [louder] Hell's coming with me!

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: chicks dig the car

Batman / Bruce Wayne says: Chicks love the car.

Moses / God says: Rameses! Let my people go!

Moses / God says: Rameses, let my people go!