Anita Schmaltz
Tomatometer-approved critic
Metro Detroit
Movies reviews only
| Rating | T-Meter | Title | Year | Review |
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Cherish (2002) |
With all the time spent watching stir-crazy manacled Zoe viewing too much TV and listening to too much Human League, you can't help but feel like you're under house arrest too. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Feb 13, 2014
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About a Boy (2002) |
About a Boy is truly a love story, with dialogue and a story line that's both pop and universally timeless, which is gold for moviegoers. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Feb 10, 2014
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Insomnia (2002) |
Part mystery, part moral dilemma, but all seductively intriguing. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Aug 05, 2013
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Spider-Man (2002) |
Maybe having such a big budget and being able to afford so many computer effects (which aren't so hot anyway) crippled the creativity of the film. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Aug 03, 2013
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The New Guy (2002) |
DJ Qualls does possess some charm, but not the chutzpah to make the forced humor float. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Jun 11, 2013
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Bon Voyage (2003) |
If you've got a hankering for a bullet-flinging, romantic, film noir roller coaster, Bon Voyage is the ticket. - Orlando Weekly
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| Posted May 22, 2004
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Ella Enchanted (2004) |
Someone should tell O'Haver and the gaggle of writers it took to write this unenchanted mess that updated doesn't have to mean washed-up and dumbed-down. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Apr 23, 2004
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Games People Play: New York (2004) |
If reality is made up of truth without deceit, there's nothing real about Games, unless you count really bad and really awful. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Apr 23, 2004
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Latter Days (2004) |
...Funny, tragic, occasionally cheesy, endearing and ultimately heartwarming, dealing with very serious Christian hypocrisy while holding onto a light, life-embracing tone. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Apr 08, 2004
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Acts of Worship (2001) |
Rodriguez depicts addicts as a sea of agitated vultures haunting the streets...counteracted by character confrontations forced to move too quickly and predictable plot turns. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Apr 08, 2004
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Welcome to Mooseport (2004) |
Lord knows we need to laugh about politics, but when it comes to salving our Oval Office wounds, Welcome to Mooseport is like taking a baby aspirin for pneumonia... - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Mar 12, 2004
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Eurotrip (2004) |
Eurotrip delivers a savvy potty jocularity, probably because some of that European culture rubbed off on the penis jokes. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Mar 12, 2004
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Starsky & Hutch (2004) |
Phillips pushes for laughs more than the show did, but still manages a weird mix of comedy, serious crime fighting and irony inside the scariest fashion decade of all time. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Mar 12, 2004
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Destino (2003) |
This is a taste of classic Disney, a crooning, twisting song sung to the eyes, a vacation from rational thoughts. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Feb 12, 2004
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Along Came Polly (2004) |
For all of you hungry-for-decent-comic-fare, Polly is a whole lotta ho-hum, a limping script with a few charming dimples. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Jan 23, 2004
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Girl With a Pearl Earring (2003) |
Girl with a Pearl Earring is a stolen glimpse around dark doorways into the intense, colorful birth of a great creation. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Jan 23, 2004
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Dude, Where's My Car? (2000) |
...a stoner mystery that recycles tried and occasionally true gags specifically packaged for today's teenage audiences, like the cheerleading squad I was sitting next to. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Jan 16, 2004
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Cremaster 1 (1996) |
As with all of [Barney's] films, translating Cremaster 1into words is a disservice to the elevating intensity and intrigue communicated through sound and imagery. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Jan 14, 2004
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Cremaster 3 (2002) |
Attempting to sum up the scope of Matthew Barney's epic in a few words is like trying to shove the history of existence through a scrotum-shaped pinhole. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Jan 14, 2004
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Peter Pan (2003) |
No matter what your wrinkle-count...you may just find yourself saying, 'I do believe in well-made films for kids.' - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Jan 12, 2004
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Glowing Eyes (2002) |
If nothing else, your curiosity should be sadly satisfied. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Dec 31, 2003
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Cheaper by the Dozen (2003) |
Cheaper by the Dozen is yet another fast-food film, going through the motions of a plot with milk-and-cupcake dialogue that leaves you dry and crusty. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Dec 31, 2003
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House of Sand and Fog (2003) |
By the end, you feel as if you've been hit over the head with a bloody dead dove, with someone screaming, "Tragedy! Tragedy! Tragedy!" in your sore ear. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Dec 31, 2003
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Cold Mountain (2003) |
Cold Mountain is haunted by the earmarks of a TV mini-series... [but] left me in a dreamy state of mind... - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Dec 24, 2003
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Girls Will Be Girls (2003) |
...an explosion of bad taste swallowed, and occasionally spit back out, over and over again, culminating in fashionable she/he cat fights by the pool. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Dec 12, 2003
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Tibet: Cry of the Snow Lion (2003) |
...this documentary took 10 years to make, and it shows in a comprehensive array of photographs and footage both gorgeous and appalling. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Dec 12, 2003
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Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977) |
A marvelous oddity the equivalent of a child's fanciful, monsters-in-the-closet imagination running wild and naked through Barry's uncensored libido. - Film Threat
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| Posted Nov 12, 2003
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Soft for Digging (2001) |
...leaves a gruesome aftertaste la The Ring...[however] its strengths lie elsewhere. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Jun 03, 2003
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Cowboy Bebop: The Movie (2002) |
A postmodern animated epic, laced with film-noir savvy. - Orlando Weekly
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| Posted May 16, 2003
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Te Amo (Made in Chile) (2001) |
Even annoying people have meaningful stories to tell, and there could just be a pretty potent reason behind all that senseless rebellion. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted May 15, 2003
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The Shape of Things (2003) |
It's hard to believe, but LaBute seems to be getting even more insidious...twisting an old tale with a new take and his no-bones-about-it allusions to the creation myth. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted May 15, 2003
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He Loves Me... He Loves Me Not (2002) |
[Take] madness - mixed with inspiration from watching The Sixth Sense. Add a touch of Mulholland Drive and a bag of heart-shaped jujubees, and you'll just about have the flavor of He Loves Me. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Apr 14, 2003
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To Kill a Mockingbird (1962) |
...To Kill A Mockingbird leaves you with a much-needed belief in hope, ignited anew by the eyes of children. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Apr 05, 2003
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Blind Spot: Hitler's Secretary (2002) |
This is a straightforward, dead-ahead documentary...but nonetheless it builds to a poignant, extreme and terminal climax that shoots off the celluloid right into our guts, piercing our sense of history and humanity. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Apr 03, 2003
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Cowboy Bebop: The Movie (2002) |
Director Shinichirô Watanabe drives us through a fantastic land, taking advantage of the anime medium with unearthly angles and delicate details in a postmodern, animated epic laced with film-noir savvy. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Apr 02, 2003
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Gerry (2002) |
Think of Gerry more as an experience rather than a movie, a virtual vacation from the tired crash-and-chase pulse of status-quo cinema. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Mar 13, 2003
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Gods and Generals (2003) |
A more appropriate title would be The Great Whitewashing of the Rebellion. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Mar 02, 2003
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The Life of David Gale (2003) |
Any dialectic concerning the ethical-moral issues of execution is overridden and undermined when the Hollywood murder-mystery formula takes the front seat. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Mar 02, 2003
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Daredevil (2003) |
In his saggy, dull-red leather gear, Ben Affleck hangs on the screen like a forlorn biker who's lost his buddies in a bar brawl. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Feb 21, 2003
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How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003) |
Hudson needs a little more time to hone her comedic skills before she can charm us through all the watery spots in the film's hot-laughs and cold-jokes script. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Feb 21, 2003
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Max (2002) |
Max pokes, provokes, takes expressionistic license and hits a nerve...as far as art is concerned, it's mission accomplished. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Feb 17, 2003
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The Haunting (1963) |
Without showing one ghost, Wise's camera works like a contorting black and white swallow. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Feb 06, 2003
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Shane (1953) |
...This isn't just a western; it's a masterwork in which every little detail seems to contribute to the intensity in the air. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Feb 06, 2003
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Biker Boyz (2003) |
It'll leave you with a monster-rally headache and a craving for something salty. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Feb 06, 2003
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Brigadoon (1954) |
Brigadoon[is]...a concocted Technicolor plaid-clad Garden of Eden with a "puppet show" residue. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Feb 06, 2003
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Talk to Her (2002) |
Talk to Her is a sad falsetto ballad, holding onto hope like a dove cupped in two gentle hands in the midst of blood-splattered bullhorns and slow death. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Jan 29, 2003
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The Way Home (2002) |
The Way Home is an ode to unconditional love and compassion garnered from years of seeing it all, a condition only the old are privy to, and...often misconstrued as weakness. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Jan 23, 2003
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The Hours (2002) |
Daldry slices scenes from the three women's lives and fuses them into one momentous thrust. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Jan 23, 2003
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Narc (2002) |
...Liotta is put in an impossible spot because his character's deceptions ultimately undo him and the believability of the entire scenario. Too bad. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Jan 20, 2003
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Baraka (1992) |
[It] begins like a National Geographic tour....a vacation from dialogue and narrative, traveling strictly on imagery... [but]Baraka gets old before the 93 minutes are up. - Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
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| Posted Jan 13, 2003
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