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Brian Orndorf
Tomatometer-approved critic
East Coast
http://www.filmjerk.com
Movies reviews only
| Rating | T-Meter | Title | Year | Review |
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Bottoms (2023) |
Seligman and Sennott don’t take their premise the whole way, leading to some disappointment, but they have something here that’s quite different at times, and uproarious when it wants to be. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 22, 2023
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No One Will Save You (2023) |
A visually striking and periodically exciting chiller that heads in unusual directions, shaking off predictability early as the story finds ways to thrill and touch on the human condition. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 22, 2023
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Spy Kids: Armageddon (2023) |
“Armageddon” isn’t exactly fresh, but it’s fun to a certain degree, delivering lively entertainment for younger audiences while Rodriguez continues to explore his fascination with greenscreen production achievements. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 22, 2023
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Expend4bles (2023) |
Weirdly flat, unable to cook up exciting sequences for the crew as they slowly assemble to take on a generic enemy in a sequel that’s nowhere near as entertaining as previous adventures. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 21, 2023
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Shaky Shivers (2022) |
Kung has a tiny budget to bring “Shaky Shivers” to life, and the effort is aided by his leads, Markham and Nguyen, who deliver big charm and appealing enthusiasm for the material, which definitely needs their spirit. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 20, 2023
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Relax, I'm from the Future (2023) |
There’s star Rhys Darby, who brings his natural charm to the endeavor, providing a bright, amusing performance in an effort that’s much better with the actor on the move. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 20, 2023
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Condition of Return (2023) |
Slides into absurdity quickly, exploring betrayals, suicide, domestic trouble, and Satanic rituals with all the subtlety of a soap opera, sprinting away from any potential gravity the opening scene conjures. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 20, 2023
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Dark Asset (2023) |
“Dark Asset” opens as a traditional bruiser but wants to conclude as a brain-bleeder, and Winnick doesn’t have the budget, cast, or directorial ability to pull off this kind of involving mystery. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 20, 2023
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The Retirement Plan (2023) |
Far better with set-ups than payoffs, resulting an increasingly crowded offering of half-speed action cinema. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 20, 2023
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Night Screams (1987) |
Run-of-the-mill stuff from uninspired filmmakers trying to make B-movie magic happen in the wilds of Kansas. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 18, 2023
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Psycho Girls (1986) |
"Psycho Girls" isn't really much fun, with the harshness of violence too abrasive to enjoy on a pure horror level, and editorial slackness isn't helping the cause. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 18, 2023
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Black Magic Rites (1973) |
Isn't without some pleasures, but it doesn't fully live up to its early promise, getting lost in unreality to a point where Polselli can't find a way out of the tale. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 18, 2023
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The Boogey Man (1980) |
Slow and somewhat uneventful, trying to master some type of cinematic creep that doesn't register as intended. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 18, 2023
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Hackers (1995) |
It's not a picture for cynics, requiring some relaxation while Softley explores old tech and cartoon personalities, but it's a vibrant feature that's superbly executed, making for an entertaining sit for those willing to go along with it. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 18, 2023
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The Killer Condom (1997) |
"Killer Condom" isn't a slapdash endeavor, highlighting some attention to detail and a love for weirdness. At two hours in length, the feature is demanding a lot of patience from viewers. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 18, 2023
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My Demon Lover (1987) |
It's a Tim Burton-ish production without Tim Burton, making for an uneven viewing experience with sometimes questionable characterizations. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 18, 2023
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Black Circle (2018) |
It's an interesting feature, but only periodically, eventually diminished by a weak climax, which doesn't carry the kind of payoff invested viewers deserve. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 18, 2023
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The Pied Piper (1985) |
A striking picture. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 18, 2023
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God Is a Bullet (2023) |
What's left is a seemingly endless revenge story brought to life by limited actors, while the helmer's obsession with bodily harm wears out its welcome quickly. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 18, 2023
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Dumb Money (2023) |
Gillespie is occasionally stuck between trying to be funny with the subject matter and hoping to reinforce a sobering level of fraud involving a community of characters. Such indecision doesn’t always make for an inspired take on the central crisis. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 14, 2023
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A Haunting in Venice (2023) |
Production restrictions in terms of budget and location push Branagh to get a little weirder and B-movie-y with the effort, which results in a tighter, more compelling detective story. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 13, 2023
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The Inventor (2023) |
A gorgeous movie, with strong displays of artistry running throughout the endeavor. It’s also an interesting introduction to da Vinci’s life for younger viewers. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 13, 2023
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A Million Miles Away (2023) |
Michael Pena delivers the finest performance of his career in this lovely picture. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 13, 2023
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Rebel (2022) |
Mixes raw emotions with unexpected blasts of artful expression that keeps viewers invested in material that would otherwise be extraordinarily difficult to watch. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 12, 2023
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Love at First Sight (2023) |
It’s gentle work, with charm and a slight dusting of movie magic, surprising with its restraint and commitment to a deeper study of emotional ache. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 12, 2023
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Inspector Sun (2022) |
Gurpide keeps things relatively breezy during the short run time, cooking up pursuit sequences and sleuthing challenges, which bring some snap to the effort before it succumbs to family film formula. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 12, 2023
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Outlaw Johnny Black (2023) |
Isn’t as well-written or energized as “Black Dynamite,” caught up in a strange desire to be earnest instead of farcical. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 12, 2023
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Satanic Hispanics (2022) |
The picture doesn’t overwhelm with creativity, but there’s enough here to satisfy, especially for Halloween viewing. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 12, 2023
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My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 (2023) |
The film is determined to be a good time for all, but whatever plucky magic was offered in the first feature is long gone at this point. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 08, 2023
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The Nun II (2023) |
Mostly a lifeless endeavor, laboring to restart the engine of a one-note idea, getting as far as the heavy recycling of scares before the whole thing limps to a dull conclusion. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 08, 2023
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Sitting in Bars with Cake (2023) |
A somber viewing experience, making for some confused tonality at times, but the actors understand the professional assignment, landing sensitivities while Sie and Schulman look to turn something initially silly into something strangely gloomy. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 07, 2023
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Zombie Town (2023) |
Certainly earnest in its intention to entertain pre-teen viewers, but the helmer can’t make sense of the bizarre plot, which becomes unnecessarily burdensome for a feature that’s only out to please. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 06, 2023
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Office Race (2023) |
Extraordinarily lame, with co-writer/director Jared Lapidus putting in next to no effort when it comes to the creation and execution of humor in the film. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 06, 2023
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The Equalizer 3 (2023) |
“The Equalizer 3” is certainly the most appealing chapter of the franchise, putting in a little more effort to get under the lead character’s skin, which is more compelling than watching the brutalizer push guns through brains. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Sep 01, 2023
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Ernest & Celestine: A Trip to Gibberitia (2022) |
A lovely feature...animation is gorgeous, returning to a sublime watercolor-inspired world, and performances are perfectly expressive. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Aug 30, 2023
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Retribution (2023) |
Doesn’t slam down hard enough, passing on the simple pleasures of insane escalation to become a mediocre B-movie with a star who’s no longer interested in standing. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Aug 30, 2023
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The Good Mother (2023) |
The feature isn’t brave enough to pursue anguish and understanding, turning to more formulaic survival events to find a way out of an uninteresting story. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Aug 30, 2023
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Nandor Fodor and the Talking Mongoose (2023) |
The last act isn’t as involving, but the feature mostly finds its way with occasional peculiarity and a puzzling story, which is supported by a capable cast. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Aug 30, 2023
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We Kill for Love (2023) |
More analytical than anecdotal, going the “Room 237” route with a stern, film theory approach, which is undeniably interesting, but with this absurd run time, it occasionally feels like running a marathon with no finish line. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Aug 30, 2023
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You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah (2023) |
It’s more Disney Channel than John Hughes, but the picture has its moments, especially when focused on the pressure points of adolescence. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Aug 30, 2023
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Vacation Friends 2 (2023) |
Deeply unpleasant to watch. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Aug 30, 2023
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The Dive (2023) |
The effort does occasionally spin its wheels trying to come up with things to worry about, but a defined sense of claustrophobia and frustration is never far from view. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Aug 27, 2023
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Bank of Dave (2023) |
This one is purely out to charm, and it does periodically, handed some lift by energetic performances and a buttery reminder of good people trying to do good things for one another. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Aug 27, 2023
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Blue Beetle (2023) |
It’s tough to watch a movie that begins with a spring in its step end up in a winded heap of digital effects and explosions. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Aug 17, 2023
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Strays (2023) |
It’s shallow work, with all the shock value wearing out its welcome quickly, leaving viewers with 90 minutes of repetitive scenes and a lame sense of outrageousness. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Aug 17, 2023
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The Adults (2023) |
Defa effectively details the murkiness of confrontation, doing so with unexpected hits of humor, uncomfortable realism, and outstanding acting. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Aug 16, 2023
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Landscape with Invisible Hand (2023) |
There’s a fascinating atmosphere to the picture, which blends different tones with care, and performances capture this puzzling reality, gracefully interacting with sci-fi additions. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Aug 16, 2023
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Dead Shot (2023) |
It’s not a grand detailing of the era and its woes, but the Guards wisely get raw with the material, making for a riveting sit. - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Aug 16, 2023
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Puppy Love (2023) |
Brings hard bad sitcom energy to a feature-length exercise in pure tedium.
- Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Aug 16, 2023
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Bad Things (2023) |
Plays like a community theater production of “The Shining.” - Blu-ray.com
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| Posted Aug 16, 2023
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