Steve Schneider
Tomatometer-approved critic
Movies reviews only
| Rating | T-Meter | Title | Year | Review |
|---|---|---|---|
|
|
Spirit Halloween: The Movie (2022) |
Not only is the action tepid, it only takes up the last act of the movie. The rest of the running time is occupied by whiny dithering over juvenile social dilemmas that are hoary in the extreme. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Oct 26, 2022
|
|
|
|
The Munsters (2022) |
Zombie has zero ability to structure a story: While his flick feels nearly interminable at 110 minutes, entire sections of plot seem to be missing, or at least glossed over. And he doesn’t know how to tell a joke... - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Sep 21, 2022
|
|
|
|
Mank (2020) |
If it's no Citizen Kane, it at least warrants tearing yourself away from TCM for a couple hours. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Dec 04, 2020
|
|
|
|
The Hunt (2020) |
The Hunt eventually abandons its us-versus-them orientation to declare airily and homiletically that there are extremes on both sides, and that thinking the worst of people just inspires them to behave as badly as you had imagined. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Apr 01, 2020
|
|
|
|
The Dirt (2019) |
Like the Crüe itself, the finished product is more entertaining than actually "good," yet occasionally not just good but great on its own lurid, anything-for-a-reaction terms. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Mar 22, 2019
|
|
|
|
Sicario: Day of the Soldado (2018) |
I have to admit I'm secretly hoping the latter gets to say, "We can't just snap our fingers and solve this," because wouldn't that be several kinds of awesome? - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Jun 27, 2018
|
|
|
|
A Bigger Splash (2015) |
A Bigger Splash displays a rich understanding of its characters' foibles, and the ways in which they betray each other instead of communicating their shared weaknesses. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted May 26, 2016
|
|
|
|
The Avengers (1998) |
A merciless and unwarranted mangling of a beloved English institution. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Jul 08, 2014
|
|
|
|
Goldfinger (1964) |
All the tropes are genre highs, from the iconic title song to the archetypal cool car to the endlessly quotable sadistic one-liners. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Apr 02, 2014
|
|
|
|
American Jesus (2013) |
You begin to find yourself wondering how this qualifies as an actual movie, as opposed to a mere travelogue to eccentricity. But then the hammer swings down. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Apr 02, 2014
|
|
|
|
I Am Divine (2012) |
An affectionate, even triumphant bio of Waters' immortal leading "lady." - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Oct 25, 2013
|
|
|
|
Think of Me (2011) |
The movie is a minefield of potential calamities that will have every audience member with an ounce of a protective instinct on the edge of his or her seat. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Mar 29, 2013
|
|
|
|
Hotel Transylvania (2012) |
Mostly bland and unmemorable babysitter for kids too young to go trick-or-treating. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Sep 26, 2012
|
|
|
|
The Dark Knight Rises (2012) |
The Dark Knight Rises covers such ground so compellingly that one almost forgets how brilliantly performed and photographed it all is. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Jul 18, 2012
|
|
|
|
Ted (2012) |
Not just a potty-mouthed retread of The Muppets, but a highly watchable, even affecting buddy picture in its own right. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Jun 29, 2012
|
|
|
|
Star Trek (2009) |
Bravely vindicates its source material's essential underpinnings of friendship and honor. 'Get a life?' This is the redemption Trekkies have been living for. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted May 07, 2009
|
|
|
|
Watchmen (2009) |
The result is cosmetically faithful but tonally scattershot, a frustrating 163 minutes in which every set piece is as likely to land on point as beside it. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Mar 06, 2009
|
|
|
|
The Reader (2008) |
Director Stephen Daldry and screenwriter David Hare adapt Bernhard Schlink's novel into a shuffling, episodic entertainment that's undermined by inconsistent casting. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Jan 05, 2009
|
|
|
|
Let the Right One In (2008) |
Sweet within its own bloodthirsty idiom, the film inhabits a twilight world in which love doesn't merely conquer all; it'll rip your damn head off if you get in its way. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Nov 06, 2008
|
|
|
|
Religulous (2008) |
The movie is at its most interesting when the attitudes of the faithful prove more sophisticated than Maher's own. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Oct 22, 2008
|
|
|
|
The Dark Knight (2008) |
A product of these troubled times, the sequel to 2005's Batman Begins includes nods to terrorism, domestic surveillance and even sanctioned torture. But one of its greatest feats is to capture our collective anxiety over the resurgent politics of hope. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Jul 24, 2008
|
|
|
|
Sex and the City (2008) |
We'll continue to experience befuddlement verging on disgust whenever we're reminded of Sex and the City (so named, we suppose, because Seriously Rethinking Third-Wave Feminism reads like ass on a poster). - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted May 30, 2008
|
|
|
|
The Visitor (2007) |
[Director] McCarthy has an undeniable way with actors, and it sustains our interest in this overt Good Samaritan tale. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted May 01, 2008
|
|
|
|
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (2008) |
It's about time somebody brought the wide-eyed wonder back to movies, and it's wonder indeed we experience whenever we get to witness the divine Ms. Adams at work. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Mar 07, 2008
|
|
|
|
Bratz (2007) |
Our heroines set out to prove to the school that it's just as important to pick your BFFs on the basis of shared shopping practices. Calling that a positive spin takes some serious ballz -- as does trapping Jon Voight in his most embarrassing role... - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Aug 02, 2007
|
|
|
|
The Simpsons Movie (2007) |
The plot is as hilariously bombastic as the ones boob-tube producers used to spin off onto the big screen before they discovered the concept of the Very Special Episode. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Jul 26, 2007
|
|
|
|
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007) |
Impressive not because of anything that's said, but for the realization that you're watching the screen be dominated by Jessica Alba and a piece of CGI without ever once experiencing the urge to gnaw through your own shoulder. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Jun 21, 2007
|
|
|
|
Sweet Land (2005) |
What we have here is an otherwise respectable period drama that keeps descending to an after-school-special level of bluntness. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Jan 25, 2007
|
|
|
|
The Illusionist (2006) |
You don't have to have spent more than five minutes in the presence of a professional magician to recognize that Edward Norton has their entire act down. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Aug 31, 2006
|
|
|
|
The Quiet (2005) |
I can't think of a human activity I'd recommend less than watching this hackneyed, straining-to-be-lurid domestic drama. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Aug 31, 2006
|
|
|
|
Trust the Man (2005) |
The movie can't decide if it wants to be a well-observed urban relationship drama or a madcap comedy. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Aug 31, 2006
|
|
|
|
Idlewild (2006) |
At a certain point, the baldly borrowed story elements go from cute to plain lazy, and you notice that Benjamin's and Patton's characters -- introduced as friends from childhood -- share almost no scenes. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Aug 31, 2006
|
|
|
|
Snakes on a Plane (2006) |
Snakes was the best instantly disposable cinematic event I've attended since Bride of Chucky was launched on an unsuspecting world eight years ago. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Aug 24, 2006
|
|
|
|
Accepted (2006) |
Long on winning attitude but not what you'd call consistent, the movie will do simply anything for a laugh. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Aug 17, 2006
|
|
|
|
Little Miss Sunshine (2006) |
Beneath its oddball veneer, Little Miss Sunshine is a knowing injunction against a society that requires every American to be a winner, when simply being a human being used to be enough. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Aug 17, 2006
|
|
|
|
Who Killed the Electric Car? (2006) |
... just about a perfect doc, railing authoritatively against a disgraceful chapter in the annals of American business. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Aug 10, 2006
|
|
|
|
Step Up (2006) |
Atrocious writing takes its toll on the cast's considerable energy, which is best showcased in dance sequences that could have been a lot longer given the cloying melodrama that's the viewing alternative. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Aug 10, 2006
|
|
|
|
The Night Listener (2006) |
Sometimes, holding up even a small mirror to contemporary anxieties is enough, which The Night Listener does by skillfully exploiting a mass distrust that's currently reverberating from book clubs to the blogosphere. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Aug 03, 2006
|
|
|
|
My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006) |
Vile. Nasty. Crude. Base. Ugly. Everything that's bad about 21st-century gender relations can be found in Ivan Reitman's dopily noxious Super Ex. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Jul 27, 2006
|
|
|
|
Lady in the Water (2006) |
Never has the evidence been so clear that a once-promising director has gone completely insane, yet seldom has said proof been so all-fired dull. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Jul 27, 2006
|
|
|
|
John Tucker Must Die (2006) |
The flick's girl-power aesthetic frequently gets lost in the madcap shuffle of elaborate, high-tech adventures that are far beyond the capabilities of actual teens. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Jul 27, 2006
|
|
|
|
Scoop (2006) |
Nobody appears to have put much effort into this thing. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Jul 27, 2006
|
|
|
|
Miami Vice (2006) |
There's no real rhythm or ingenuity to the story. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Jul 27, 2006
|
|
|
|
Quality of Life (2004) |
It's up to the consistently fluid ensemble acting and colloquially sound dialogue to keep things on track, which they do admirably. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Jul 20, 2006
|
|
|
|
Monster House (2006) |
Monster House is professionally assembled and contains a good amount of irreverent fun; as an adult, I dug a lot of it. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Jul 20, 2006
|
|
|
|
You, Me and Dupree (2006) |
Laugh-free, derivative, punishingly long 'comedy.' - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Jul 20, 2006
|
|
|
|
A Scanner Darkly (2006) |
Most of A Scanner Darkly is a wasted opportunity, with B+-list stars paint-boxed onto a third plane where not very much happens at all. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Jul 13, 2006
|
|
|
|
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006) |
A coulda-been classic ends up feeling variously like a particularly undisciplined director's cut and (shudder!) a Jerry Bruckheimer picture. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Jul 06, 2006
|
|
|
|
Wordplay (2006) |
A rousing endorsement of the principles of fair play and communication. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Jul 06, 2006
|
|
|
|
Click (2006) |
What it lacks is an inspired moment of unleashed rage -- the kind that have always kept Sandler's romps redeemable. - Orlando Weekly
Read More
| Posted Jun 29, 2006
|