I am currently not gay, have never been, and am not anticipating a rush of homosexual feelings in the future. This is important to get out of the way in the beginning, as I believe I donâ(TM)t really have a refined gaydar. With that said, I have never felt so visually raped in my entire life and I loved every second of it. Time waits for no man and director Jack Sholder, director of such classics asâ¦The Garden Party?, wastes no time in throwing us head first into the action of our young protagonistâ(TM)s dreamscapes. From there, he is jerked awake and we finally get the first shirtless shot of our sweaty dream hunk Jesse Walsh (Mark Patton). Within five minutes, the audience is treated to a scene of Jesse getting in his first tiff with a classmate. The altercation is less of a fight and more of an awkward tussle in which Jesse conveniently has his pants pulled down half way, his jock strap hanging loosely from his chalky buttocks. While these sensual first minutes might tempt one to throw their Samsung DVD player through their third story window, it is important that the viewer keep the faith. If so, they will be treated not only to a wide variety of sexually charged moments between men, but also dialogue that leaps right off the page and forces its way into your earholes. Almost all of it involving things being shoved up someoneâ(TM)s butt or getting their rocks off. Also they can witness one of the most âfrighteningâ� scenes to ever involve a demented parakeet. The cherry on top of his homoerotic sundae is a scene involving balls of all shapes and sizes being rocketed at a manâ(TM)s face moments before he is stripped and whipped. While iâ(TM)m not surprised Mark Patton did not have a successful career post-Freddy, I truly wonder what he is doing now. I assume it has something to do with adult entertainment as everything Jesse does in the film oozes with sexuality. His screams have a subtle tinge of eroticism in them and even the shots of him having a nightmare come off as a mildly abusive wet dream. Unfortunately, I am only scratching the big gay surface here. I could sit and detail all of the things that make this movie horrendously awesome, but you truly need to experience it for yourself.