Ralph Breaks the Internet
Mission: Impossible - Fallout
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All Critics (3)
| Fresh (0)
| Rotten (3)
| DVD (1)
Beware of any Z-grade schlock that contains the phrase "yuck" in the title.
"Touch a button. Things happen. A scientist becomes a beast."
This line sums up the entire plot of this no budget stinker, things just happen. I made the unfortunate mistake of watching this film without the MST3K commentary and that was a huge mistake. Despite being only 54 minutes in length, the film paradoxically feels a lot longer. By the last twenty minutes I was almost dozing off into sleep. Beyond the initial setup, the film is just watching a bunch of random things happening with a narrator saying lines of random broken dialogue that make no sense. Aside from technical failings such as the music looping over and over again to the point that it becomes mind-numbing, the biggest failing is the monster itself. These movies tend to only be as good as their monsters, and Tor Johnson is not good at all. His "deformities" only look like sun burns, and the wooden cane he carries makes him look like a grumpy old man rather than a terrifying rampaging monster. The other actors are a joke. The acting is so laid-back and stiff that it robs the film of any life. Aside from a few laughs, the only saving grace of this pile of B-movie trash is it is only 54 minutes.
Glad I saw the MST3K version of this movie, it's so awful I wouldn't have been able to sit through the whole thing without their funny commentary. The story is boring, stupid, pointless, and goes nowhere in the end. The acting is a joke, Tor Johnson is the only real star, and he doesn't even have any lines! The editing and cinematography are horrendous. Don't watch this movie.
A nuclear explosion turns noted Russian scientist Tor Johnson into a strangling beast. Yes, it's one of the worst movies ever made, but it's still worth seeing for the extremely patient for the strange, dreamlike scenes full of delightfully nonsensical but dramatically delivered narration ("flag on the moon -- how did it get there?")
Progress. The wheels of justice. Joe and Jim. Dr. Joseph Javorsky. The greatest narrator of all time. The wife on the road. Some of the best accidently gay photography of all time. And did I mention... Progress? B-movie brilliance.
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