Fifty Shades of Grey Reviews
I HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE AND I NEVER WILL
(Yes, I have seen the movie, I'm just using "Not Interested" as my 0/10 rating. Come on, Rotten Tomatoes, add a zero rating!)
Following Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey as they meet through a business meeting, she quickly becomes infatuated with him, only to realize that there is a lot more to him behind the scenes. Tormented by the fact that he likes to inflict pain onto women who enjoy it, he is very heavy into BDSM. Accepting her as his girlfriend and trying to get her to sign a non-disclosure agreement to participate in these events that would pleasure him, their relationship grows in very strange ways. Filled with horribly written dialogue and a plot that really doesn't go anywhere, this first instalment doesn't do to get fans to return, although I'm sure the readers will be there on day one of all three films.
While the story of this film is obviously not to be taken too seriously, the performances in both Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan definitely lifts the film from the ashes in my opinion. There chemistry may not be perfect, but they do give these roles their all, especially Johnson. These are some of the most irrelevant and dumb characters I have seen on-screen in quite some time, but their performances are what make them bearable. There are times when the dialogue coming out of their mouths is so terrible that I can do nothing but chuckle, but Anastasia could be completely in tears. There was clear effort in making this film better than it
The main reason people flocked out to see this film, was clearly due to the shock value. People who hadn't read the books were curious, people who knew it was going to be a poor film wanted a good laugh, and fans of the book were hoping to be satisfied. But were the scenes memorable in any way? Memorable in the sense that they are solely done for shock value, yes, but they really aren't that shocking, especially when they are limited even with an R rating. I did not go into this film hoping these scenes would be great though. I was hoping for great chemistry and compelling characters, which was a mistake from the very beginning. Having said all of this, these sequences should please fans of the book. In that way, I guess the film does its job.
In the end, Fifty Shades of Grey sets out to please the fans and draw in interested people. That is exactly what it accomplished and absolutely nothing more. With wooden characters and a plot that centres solely around the fact that a woman is unsure if she should be trusting this man, there really isn't much substance to be had. Overall, as I said, it does its core job for fans, but newcomers will either roll their eyes, find it funny, or walk out. Released on Valentine's Day, as are the sequels, it's the perfect spot for a film like this, especially if they are in the mood for some cash returns. Fifty Shades of Grey is a very, very bad film, but undeniably accomplished its goal. For that, I give it a few props.
Then again, it's a VERY silly movie, so silly that I can't quite recommend you pay to see it in theaters. There's practically no plot. The entire movie is about Anastasia deciding if she should become Christian Grey's submissive or not. Every scene is him asking her "Have you made a decision yet?" and her responding "No, but soon..." Come on! Give us a better story! There's also the fact that the supporting actors, all very good (especially Eloise Mumford, as Anastasia's roommate), are COMPLETELY underwritten.
Let's just hope that Fifty Shades Darker (which does have a better plot) is a better movie.
I enjoyed the one review quote ; " if movie is 20 minutes of sex then rest of 40 minutes Johnson biting her lip and 20 minutes with pencil in mouth " :)
First off, let me make it known that this film was utterly terrible. However, a bad review i feel would be harsh on the actors, director and everyone who made the movie, as everything about it was as good as it could possibly be, except the story. The story was the one element that was completely out of their hands, there is only so well that you can polish faecal matter.
It was actually entertaining in it's ridiculous dialogue at times, to the point of actual laugh out loud comedy.
The best way I could find to describe this film is a hormonal girl's mind with a multi-million dollar budget.