Graffiti Bridge Reviews
I'm a lifelong Prince fan, and I'll say he's doing some of his best work even today. But Graffiti Bridge is cinematic tennis elbow. It is an incoherent mess of bloated ego, retarded spirituality, and junior high poetry. It's the only movie that can make six week old babies sit up and ask "what the hell is going on?" Every time someone watches this movie, monkeys become more emboldened to take over the planet. Every time someone watches this movie and enjoys it, a cancer researcher applies to law school.
Prince's performance here is downright creepy. He delivers half his lines as if he's an adolescent boy imitating his own androgynous swagger from Purple Rain (and failing miserably) and the other half as if he's addressing dogshit he just noticed on his shoe. Morris Day, who is supposed to provide the comic relief, is funny only when he's trying to be threatening. Ingrid Chavez, in every scene, adopts a demeanor that is somehow both detached and bubbly, and her attention flits about so randomly that I wonder if there's a strain of Alzheimer's that specifically targets android hamsters metamorphosed into human form.
The soundtrack used to be one of my favorite Prince albums, but now I can't listen to it anymore. Partly because of the unspeakable horror of being reminded of this movie -- but more so because as soon as the end credits rolled, my CD disappeared in a puff of smoke that left the odor of abject humiliation and tearful apology lingering in my living room for seven days.
As a piece of Prince's filmography, how does this hold up? Well, I didn't really care for "Purple Rain" as a film. Visually, it was interesting, and it had a great soundtrack. It was basically a bunch of music videos intercut with cheesy scenes of romance and Prince being a jerk. "Under the Cherry Moon" was a very misguided comedy, but had an interesting atmosphere to it that I kind of liked. This film was dead from conception and had very little to offer. Saying that I hated this film would imply that the film elicited an emotion. It didn't.