Mean Machine

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Mean Machine

R

2002

1h 38m

Comedy

Drama

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Tomatometer

Popcornmeter

33%

Tomatometer

52 Reviews

72%

Popcornmeter

25,000+ Ratings

In a rough-and-tumble British prison, where murderers, thieves and assorted madmen are locked away, inmate Danny Meehan is about to lead them all in the ultimate battle of their degenerate lives -- but no one could have guessed it would be a soccer match! Now, in an all-out playoff against the despised guards, the prisoners' goal isn't just to make goals; it's to prove the indomitable nature of the spirit, no matter how much it gets kicked, bloodied or knocked around.

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Critics Consensus

Despite some genuine wit, this crowd pleaser is filled with too many cliches.

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Robert K. Elder

Chicago Tribune

Jul 20, 2002

2.5/4

Holds its ground as a mid-budget Hollywood knockoff.

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Steven Rea

Philadelphia Inquirer

Mar 14, 2002

3.5/4

A likably energetic star vehicle for English sports god Vinnie Jones.

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Rex Reed

Observer

Mar 13, 2002

Another incomprehensible trash explosion from the Guy Ritchie school of cinematic slugfests.

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Alistair Lawrence

Common Sense Media

Apr 28, 2026

2/5

This is an enthusiastic but uneven retelling of The Longest Yard, which was originally made in 1974 starring Burt Reynolds and later remade in 2005 starring Adam Sandler.

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Brian Walker

ViewLondon

May 10, 2005

1/5

Harry Guerin

RTÉ (Ireland)

Mar 26, 2003

2/5

By the final whistle you're convinced that this Mean Machine was a decent TV outing that just doesn't have big screen magic.

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Jim P

@RT08384096 Feb 13, 2026

Yes it's full of prison cliches but it's still great fun! And I've seen it many times. Also has great use of music.

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Stephen C

@bob25009 Feb 6, 2026

Rated R for Some Violence and Language.

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thiago s

@Thiagostone Sep 25, 2025

Filme mais ou menos, o roteiro é fraco, as cenas são mais ou menos, a história é bacaninha, o elenco é fraco, e ninguém ajuda a melhorar o filme, os personagens são fracos, e o filme deveria ter cenas bem melhores e relevantes, para fazer o filme ser bom, e eu gostei da história sobre futebol na prisão.

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Bahad j

@RT27093708 Aug 6, 2024

The costumes of the actors seemed to be very real, as if they were in their roles. The dress is really beautiful.

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Geke g

@RT40239519 Aug 5, 2024

Fantastic and astonishing

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jordan m

@starballer Mar 27, 2022

The comedy was better here than it had been in the '74 original, but I can't honestly say I enjoyed it more as soccer is just not a particularly interesting sport. They did a good job of showing that it can be more violent than it generally is but the entire notion of not using one's hands puts the sport in the same boat as boxing for me, where the severe limitations reduce its strength as a metaphor for war, which is the goal of all sports. Statham's character was more interesting than Vinnie's and they added a gambling aspect that improved the plot quite a bit for me as it gave the warden a reason to try and ruin a man's life over a game.

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Barry Skolnick

Director

Vinnie Jones

Danny

Jason Statham

Monk

David Kelly

Doc

David Hemmings

The Governor

Vas Blackwood

Massive

Mean Machine: Official Clip - Monk to Save the Day

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Mean Machine: Official Clip - Solitary Confinement

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Mean Machine: Official Clip - Danny's Story

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Mean Machine: Official Clip - Goal!!!

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Mean Machine: Official Clip - Try-Outs

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Mean Machine: Official Clip - The Game Winner

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Mean Machine: Official Clip - It's Showtime!

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Mean Machine: Official Clip - Lightning Can Strike Twice

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Mean Machine: Official Clip - Doc's Story

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Synopsis

In a rough-and-tumble British prison, where murderers, thieves and assorted madmen are locked away, inmate Danny Meehan is about to lead them all in the ultimate battle of their degenerate lives -- but no one could have guessed it would be a soccer match! Now, in an all-out playoff against the despised guards, the prisoners' goal isn't just to make goals; it's to prove the indomitable nature of the spirit, no matter how much it gets kicked, bloodied or knocked around.

Director: Barry Skolnick
Producer: Matthew Vaughn
Screenwriter: Andy Day, Chris Baker
Distributor: Paramount Pictures
Production Co: Paramount Pictures
Rating: R (Some Violence|Language)
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Original Language: English
Release Date (Theaters): Feb 22, 2002, Wide
Release Date (Streaming): Mar 13, 2017
Box Office (Gross USA): $92.7K
Runtime: 1h 38m
Sound Mix: Dolby Stereo, Dolby Digital, Dolby A, Surround, Dolby SR
Aspect Ratio: Scope (2.35:1)

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