Return to Horror High

1987

Return to Horror High

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TOMATOMETER

Total Count: N/A

18%

Audience Score

User Ratings: 4,419
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Movie Info

In 1982, Crippen High School was the scene of a gruesome series of dismemberment murders, but the killer was never identified. Five years later, Cosmic Pictures arrives at the long-abandoned campus to make a low-budget horror movie based on the tragedy, and suddenly the terror begins anew. The police department arrives at the school to find the building and grounds covered in gore and human body parts, the remains of the unfortunate film crew. The only survivor of this new massacre is the screenwriter, Arthur (Richard Brestoff), who tries to explain the horrifying events to the authorities. The troubled production's leading lady is angered over the demeaning nature of her role, the producer and director argue over the film's lack of artistic merits, and when cast members start disappearing, everyone else assumes that they're just quitting out of disgust. Who is the culprit? Is it the school's principal, appearing as himself in the film for the sake of realism? The janitor, who hopes to parlay his cameo into a pornography career? Or maybe Steven (Brendan Hughes), who was a student at Crippen during the original murder spree and finds himself reluctantly cast as the hero? This self-referential slasher parody features George Clooney in a small part as the film's first victim, and The Brady Bunch's Maureen McCormick as a policewoman with a lust for blood and hot dogs.

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Cast

Lori Lethin
as Callie Cassidy / Sarah Walker / Susan
Brendan Hughes
as Steven Blake
Alex Rocco
as Harry Sleerik
Scott Jacoby
as Josh Forbes
Andy Romano
as Principal Kastleman
Richard Brestoff
as Arthur Lyman/Kastleman
Al Fann
as Amos
Pepper Martin
as Chief Deyner
Maureen McCormick
as Officer Tyler
Vince Edwards
as Richard Birnbaum
Philip McKeon
as Richard Farley
Panchito Gomez
as Choo Choo
Michael Eric Kramer
as Donny Porter
Marvin J. McIntyre
as Robbie Rice
George Clooney
as Oliver
Remy O'Neill
as Esther Molvania
Darcy DeMoss
as Sheri Haines
Cliff Emmich
as Dillon
Will Etra
as Mangled Face/Hatchet Face
George Fisher
as Masked Figure
Dexter Hamlett
as Freddie
Joy Heston
as Becky
Frank Kniest
as Camera Assistant
John B. Mueller
as Jimmy
Alison Noble
as Jeanine
Kristi Somers
as Ginny McCall
Larry Spinak
as Peter
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Critic Reviews for Return to Horror High

All Critics (4)

  • The premise is admittedly pretty crafty, but other than that two-minute distraction, Return to Horror High is certainly no great shake.

    Jan 1, 2000 | Rating: 1.5/4 | Full Review…

    Dustin Putman

    TheFilmFile.com
View All Critic Reviews (4)

Audience Reviews for Return to Horror High

  • Feb 16, 2012
    Return to Horror High is an interested concept for a horror comedy. Told in a series of flashbacks, Return to Horror High is a fine parody of other Slashers. The film is sort of confusing to follow, but is pretty entertaining. The thing that is quite hard to follow is how to tell the real kills, from the fake one The use of flashbacks is a good idea for this film, only if it was told in a way that it would make sense for the viewer. The film is definitely ahead of its time, in the sense that this is one of the first spoofs of the Slasher genre. This is a fun, tongue in cheek horror comedy that delivers some pretty decent kills on-screen. This is an underrated film in the slasher genre, and one that shouldn't be vilified like it has. If you enjoy a good, cheesy comedy horror flick, a neglected gem of 80's horror sleaze, then Return to Horror High is the perfect film for you to watch. The film, along with other B movie Slashers such as Slaughter High and Cutting Class is one of the 1980's most fun Slashers films. Sure, the film won't win any prizes, but for what it is, Return to Horror High is a good cheesy Slasher with a unique idea. Everything is over the top, and this is an entertaining film if you're used to the genre. By the time the 1980's came to a close, the Slasher was uninspired, boring and flat. Films like this one brought an element of cheesy fun to the genre. If you enjoy a cheesy horror flick, then give this one a shot. The film is pretty underrated and it really doesn't deserve the flack it has received. One of the better Slasher spoofs. The only thing is, is that the film is a tad confusing with its flashback sequences, you may be thrown off by which scene is a real kill and which one isn't.
    Alex r Super Reviewer
  • Jan 18, 2011
    Oh hello young George Clooney. I couldn't even tell you what's going on, half way through I was like, 'wait, what?!' It's so cheesy, so dumb and really hits home the fact that you should NEVER ask, "_____, is that you?" Because it never is and that's how you end up dead.
    Alexis N Super Reviewer
  • Jan 15, 2011
    Reasonably good comic slasher which see's a film crew attempt to make a movie in a high school which was the scene of a bloody massacre five years previously where the killer was never caught. It's fun at times and has some bloody scenes but most of the kills are off-screen. We get a bit of George Clooney for the 15 minutes which was fun to see him in something trashy. The film-within-a-film scenes went on for too long though and some of the humour just wasn't funny enough. It may not be the best of the 80s slashers but it's memorable and unpredictable. So if you're in the mood for something different in this horror sub-genre give it a look.
    Lee ? Super Reviewer
  • Oct 03, 2010
    Return to Horror High is a Horror/Comedy movie that doesn't succeed at anything its trying to do. The movie is a complete failure all the way from the beginning to the end. The film "stars" George Clooney despite the fact that he is only in five minuets of it, and Maureen McCormick who you know as Marsha Brady from the original Brady Bunch who plays a horny young police officer. Both actors give the worst performances of their careers, its terribly pathetic. All in all this movie was a car wreck that lasted all of an hour and thirty five minuets. The plot is incredibly confusing and it weaves in and out of the old movie-in-a-movie gimmick with a film crew that decides to film at a high-school. The high-school has a weird past where people were murdered by someone that may still be on the loose. I don't really know. Its really hard to follow and it doesn't make much sense. The movie does however have one of the crappiest sex scenes I have ever seen. First both the guy and gal are hideous, they just shouldn't be intimate. Ever. Second during the sex scene they flash back and forth between "heavy petting" and a bunch of steel workers welding. It literally goes back and forth from sex to welding for like three minuets. Its really weird and off putting that these sweaty fat steel workers are included in the scene. Overall this movie is incredibly confusing, it has horrible overacting, the killer looks like a linebacker in a shitty mask, and it has the worst ending I have ever seen. I am going to give Return to Horror High a 1 of 10. I suppose that it tried, but it didn't try very hard. I feel bad that Clooney has to have his name attached to this turd for the rest of his career. I am sure that he regrets being in it and I know that I regret seeing it. I always end these things with some quotes and I actually have 2 from the movie that I like. "Kastleman! You Honky!" & "You want some of this? You want it in the ear!?" S!D
    Brandon S Super Reviewer
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