A found footage thriller that should've gone lost during the development stage of production, The Pyramid schemes moviegoers into more paranormal inactivity. It's not even scary, dammit. Worse, audiences just saw similar - and, sadly, more frightening - goings-on in As Above, So Below, a trashy scarer that suddenly seems as A-Level as The Exorcist following a viewing of this creaky feature. In regards to it being a faux documentary, they don't even try. In one scene, all of the cameraman stand on a floor and suddenly there's a POV from the ceiling. Funny, it doesn't look like recently discovered footage from a documentary crew. It just looks like the cameramen have the shakes. Then, the camera turns on them...the only ones WITH bloody cameras. Yes, continuity ends up to be the scariest aggregate of The Pyramid...until CGI sphinxes get thrown into the mix, that is. These NES-quality pixelations convince no one that terror lurks in these cinematic catacombs. In fact, they invite many rounds of laughs instead. In this R-rated horror flick, an archaeological team (Hinshaw, Buckley) attempts to unlock the secrets of a lost pyramid only to find themselves hunted by an insidious creature. It truly becomes a pleasure watching these uninteresting characters get picked apart one by one. If only it happened faster. Even at a trim 90 minutes, the end of this horror-bull can't come fast enough. In what's perhaps the dumbest misstep of the movie, the producers cast a recognizable face in Denis O'Hare. Even though he doesn't equal the familiarity of, say, George Clooney, you definitely know the face which takes you light years away from suspending any disbelief for this cheap piece of Barnum. Bottom line: Dumb of the Dragon Emperor