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Critics Consensus: Valentine is basically a formulaic throwback to conventional pre-Scream slasher flicks. Critics say it doesn't offer enough suspense or scares to justify its addition to the genre.
Critic Consensus: Valentine is basically a formulaic throwback to conventional pre-Scream slasher flicks. Critics say it doesn't offer enough suspense or scares to justify its addition to the genre.
All Critics (74) | Top Critics (22) | Fresh (7) | Rotten (67) | DVD (8)
The contradictory sexual politics in this lightweight slasher suggest that at some point it was meant to satirize the traditional mores of the self-satisfied female characters.
In the new teen slasher flick Valentine, a public-school nerd, now grown up, seeks to systematically murder all the girls who wouldn't dance with him at the Grade 6 Valentine's dance. Or maybe that's not what happens. It ís hard to tell.
A cheesy horror flick that doesn't take itself too seriously.
I had fun anyway.
Valentine isn't scary, but it is unsettling; not ultimately satisfying, but arresting in the moment.
Looking good but lacking much in the way of personality or gray matter.
Valentine is far from perfect, but not a bad film.
A singularly direct and unchallenging example of the latter-day slasher film, made to a template that was starting to show its age every bit of 20 years before the movie premiered.
Poorly made and just stupid.
A bland whodunit slasher film starring a bunch of nineties relics...
Yet another one of those films that Scream was supposed to have buried but instead resurrected.
It doesn't have those scare-the-sh*t out of you moments, and if it doesn't have any of those, what's the point?
9% of critics liked this movie? That's sad and an awfully high number I think. The people who actually did like this pathetic waste of time are either Angel fans or anyone who still thinks Denise Richards is hot. Don't bother watching this shit. Go to the park, shake up bottles of soda and throw them at the ground cap-first to watch them fly into the air. That is a much better way to spend your time.
Super Reviewer
Valentine is one of the better films in the teen horror genres, yeah I know. Even though the film is a better take on a tired genre in horror, it doesn't necessarily mean thats its a good film, far from it. The actors are terrible, and the script is lacking in effective scares, but what it does have is plenty of horrific death scenes, which I thought were pretty original. Valentine is a teen version of a slasher film during a holiday, unfortunately, Valentine's Day has already been covered in the horror, by a film called My Bloody Valentine. A different take on a holiday that has already been done in the past, but unfortunately Valentine lacks the memorable themes presented in My Bloody Valentine, which will always remain a classic and the superior slasher flick set during Valentine's Day.
Pathetically awful in every way. As a slasher, it is devoid of any gruesome, original or uncomfortable death scenes. They are just so plain and ordinary. The kills are also few and far between and some of them are thrown in for no reason. The identity of the killer is so obvious they may as well have told you at the beginning. The main characters are also portrayed as the same bitchy girls they were at school, making them less sympathetic than the killer. It's too concerned with trying to trick you, but failing to realise that it's audience aren't as clueless as the makers would like to believe. This has nothing for fans of the genre or fans of cinema. Making it instantly disposable.
Trashy horror saved by the fact that it knows it is trashy and has a decent cast. I quite liked it.
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