Richmond Times-Dispatch

Richmond Times-Dispatch is not a Tomatometer-approved publication. Reviews from this publication only count toward the Tomatometer® when written by the following Tomatometer-approved critic(s): Kimberly Gadette
Rating Title/Year Author
3.5/4 127 Hours (2010) Mike Ward Someone please chop down Tony Robbins' beanstalk. Then sic a shark to "hug" Dr. Phil. And spill a scalding bowl of Chicken Soup for the Soul in the stupid chef's lap. Finally, America has a real deal, down-to-earth motivational icon. EDIT
Posted Dec 3, 2010
3/4 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010) Mike Ward We get to see the characters raw and frayed - almost junkie-like - without the saccharine pill coating that usually helps us swallow the bad stuff happening in Harry Potter Land. EDIT
Posted Nov 19, 2010
3/4 Inside Job (2010) Mike Ward I want to prank call Alan Greespan. I want to hire a barista to cold cock a former Lehman Brothers exec who retired at 42. Put down your plastic forks. Pick up your pitchforks. And follow me! We're marching on Washington, errrr, Wall Street. Same thing... EDIT
Posted Nov 13, 2010
2.5/4 Morning Glory (2010) Mike Ward A movie about a morning news shows starring Diane Keaton and Harrison Ford? The actors are dinosaurs and the format is about to go extinct. Forget reviewing the movie, maybe I should be carbon dating it. EDIT
Posted Nov 12, 2010
3/4 Megamind (2010) Mike Ward Like Kraft Mac & Cheese or your favorite old sweats with the Duct Tape waistband, familiarity can be comforting. Megamind doesn't break any new ground other than being the rare family flick that the whole family can enjoy. EDIT
Posted Nov 8, 2010
3/4 Conviction (2010) Mike Ward If Samuel L. Jackson is the badass with a gun, and Diane Keaton is the funny hat lady, then Hilary Swank is the poor bumpkin with a big heart and bigger dream. EDIT
Posted Oct 29, 2010
2.5/4 Hereafter (2010) Mike Ward Depicted as a bunch of glowing shadows shuffling around in a blue haze, the hereafter might be the world's last smoking lounge. EDIT
Posted Oct 23, 2010
2/4 Jackass 3 (2010) Mike Ward I'm getting old, Knoxville is getting old and "it" is getting old. "It" is the Jackass franchise, the 10-year-old extreme prank war resulting in more lawsuits and testicular mishaps than Brett Favre's sexts. EDIT
Posted Oct 16, 2010
2.5/4 It's Kind of a Funny Story (2010) Mike Ward Is that the best approach to take about a subject as heady as mental illness, especially at a time when there are more kids on Zoloft than Flintstones’ chewables? EDIT
Posted Oct 10, 2010
3.5/4 The Social Network (2010) Mike Ward Forget the guy who invented the Pet Rock or Jump to Conclusions Mat; Facebook is now the stick that every American dream is measured against. And "The Social Network" is surprisingly the stick that movies need to measure up to in 2010. EDIT
Posted Oct 1, 2010
3/4 Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (2010) Mike Ward In the '80s, lighting a cigar with a $100 bill was sexy. In 2010, it's damn near porn. EDIT
Posted Sep 26, 2010
2.5/4 Mao's Last Dancer (2009) Mike Ward Ballet is kinda like ice hockey. It's more impressive when you're up close at the real deal. When you're 30 yards away, the snap of a slipper after a 90-lb ballerina lands a glissade is just as impressive as a 290-lb hockey goon hitting the boards. EDIT
Posted Sep 24, 2010
3/4 The Town (2010) Mike Ward Considering we know every twist and turn in every dark alley of "The Town," thank god the movie is well written, superbly directed and perfectly acted. EDIT
Posted Sep 21, 2010
3/4 Easy A (2010) Mike Ward It's 90 minutes of no filler and just enough PG-13 filter to make sure your 16-year-old daughter can check out it without having to swap spit for a fake ID. EDIT
Posted Sep 17, 2010
4/4 Animal Kingdom (2010) Mike Ward Animal Kingdom doesn't have the catchphrases of The Sopranos or the nostalgic charm of Goodfellas. It's real, it's gritty and it's unforgettable. Still, I wouldn't have minded a severed kangaroo head turning up in the sheets. EDIT
Posted Sep 10, 2010
3/4 Machete (2010) Mike Ward Machete is a day laborer's wet dream that men and women of all immigration and employment status can enjoy together in peace, harmony and wanton blood lust. The only one who might ask for a refund is Shaft. EDIT
Posted Sep 6, 2010
3.5/4 Get Low (2009) Mike Ward The bad dudes from "Deliverance" once ran away squealing from Robert Duvall. He went down to Georgia and stole Charlie Daniel's fiddle. Robert Duvall is now the backwoods equivalent of Chuck Norris. EDIT
Posted Sep 2, 2010
2.5/4 The American (2010) Mike Ward Meet Jack, James Bond's boring big screen cousin. Jack wears Eddie Bauer fleeces, has a pay phone instead of high-tech gadgets, and actually has to pay for sex. He makes assassin work look more boring than an H&R Block gig on April 16. EDIT
Posted Sep 2, 2010
2.5/4 The Switch (2010) Mike Ward Jeff Goldblum was The Fly before Aniston was slumming under the rainbow in Leprechaun and Bateman stood in Valerie's family photos. Goldblum can wear the same purple shirt in every scene if he wants to... EDIT
Posted Aug 21, 2010
2.5/4 Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010) Mike Ward ambitious big screen cross-pollination of geek sheik and vintage rom-com. It's The Matrix meets the Ghost of John Hughes. The action is way more than old NES-sy could muster, but in the end it's too damn much. EDIT
Posted Aug 14, 2010
3.5/4 The Other Guys (2010) Mike Ward The Other Guys takes out its gun and shoots a lot. Most of the time, the jokes are on target, and the few stray punch lines can be forgiven - even the splintering groaners misfired from Will Ferrell's wooden gun. EDIT
Posted Aug 5, 2010
3/4 The Kids Are All Right (2010) Mike Ward During the Summer of 3D glasses, "The Kids are All Right" proves that what you really need to create an immersive, real-life film experience is a sharp pencil and some interesting friends. EDIT
Posted Aug 2, 2010
2.5/4 Dinner for Schmucks (2010) Mike Ward It's been a while since I've seen a movie that caused me to go back and forth more than a rocking horse at the Gosselin compound. But "Dinner for Schmucks" has me riding the fence and humming The Eagles' Desperado. EDIT
Posted Jul 29, 2010
2/4 Coco Chanel & Igor Stravinsky (2009) Mike Ward I haven't seen a two-hour movie with this little dialogue since Charlie Chaplin Tries not to Wake up the Baby. EDIT
Posted Jul 24, 2010
3/4 Salt (2010) Mike Ward Salt is like a swell summer day at the movies back in 1984, when flicks knew how to do action and dudes named Vladimir had trouble boarding a Delta flight from New York to Washington. EDIT
Posted Jul 23, 2010
3.5/4 Cyrus (2010) Mike Ward About the only dishonest bone in the body of black romantic comedy Cyrus is the fact that Jonah Hill is dressed up like a plus-sized J.C. Penney catalog model circa 1992, complete with Dockers and a haircut primped for school picture day. EDIT
Posted Jul 19, 2010
4/4 Inception (2010) Mike Ward More filmmakers need to abandon the Ikea guide to making Hollywood movies (Step 73: Keep hammering cliché) and close their eyes for a little nap. EDIT
Posted Jul 15, 2010
3/4 Despicable Me (2010) Mike Ward Even though Universal pillaged and pilfered Pixar's magic set of crayons, at least they made an entertaining flick. EDIT
Posted Jul 10, 2010
3/4 Micmacs (2009) Mike Ward In France, revenge is a dish best served with white gloves and face paint. EDIT
Posted Jul 9, 2010
1/4 The Last Airbender (2010) Mike Ward The trunk of my car is filled with busted 3D glasses and broken dreams of summer movie bliss. But that's not as bad as what's in the trunk of a Paramount Pictures bigwig: A bound and gagged Shyamalan, who's about to have $150 million beat from him. EDIT
Posted Jul 2, 2010
1.5/4 The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010) Mike Ward Twilight Saga: Eclipse is by far the best of the bestselling Stephenie Meyer novels-turned-movie. Keep in mind, West Nile Virus is similarly the "best" mosquito-borne illness and Portland, Oregon is the "best" city to be homeless. EDIT
Posted Jun 30, 2010
2/4 Knight and Day (2010) Mike Ward I think we all secretly want to be kidnapped by Tom Cruise, build chemistry together during a globetrotting spy game while trading sassy banter, and then sneak a whiff of shorty's sneaker lifts when he's not looking. EDIT
Posted Jun 25, 2010
0/4 Grown Ups (2010) Mike Ward The good news for Adam Sandler is that people may finally stop razzing him about "Little Nicky." The bad news is that any dramatic street cred he may have built up with "Punch-Drunk Love" or even "Funny People" will be as forgotten as Hitler's penmanship. EDIT
Posted Jun 24, 2010
3/4 Harry Brown (2009) Mike Ward Maybe Michael Caine just wanted to make his "death wish" before kickin' his "bucket list." Say what you wanna say, but I'd rather watch old-timers bust gums than tandem parachute with Morgan Freeman while John Mayer plays softly in the background. EDIT
Posted Jun 18, 2010
3/4 Please Give (2010) Mike Ward If you're hoping for huge dramatic payoff or more than mild laughs from cynically satisfying script, then you're panhandling without a Styrofoam cup. EDIT
Posted Jun 18, 2010
2.5/4 The A-Team (2010) Mike Ward If someone makes a Mr. Belvedere movie, I'm may quit this gig. It's not that The A-Team is a terrible movie - it's not bad - but Hollywood's collective creative rut has studios raiding the '80s like an unguarded freezer overflowing with Pudd EDIT
Posted Jun 13, 2010
2/54 The Karate Kid (2010) Mike Ward Rooting against The Karate Kid sequel is easier than rooting against an ex on a game show poised to win a yacht that will likely be christened, "(Your name) sucks." EDIT
Posted Jun 11, 2010
2/4 Get Him to the Greek (2010) Mike Ward The pseudo-sequel to 2008's overachieving Forgetting Sarah Marshall plays upside-down musical chairs with d--k jokes and innuendo until the only place to sit is on its own thumb. And then the bottom drops out. EDIT
Posted Jun 6, 2010
1.5/4 Sex and the City 2 (2010) Mike Ward This is by far the lamest Grumpy Old Men sequel yet. EDIT
Posted May 29, 2010
3/4 MacGruber (2010) Mike Ward Congratulations, MacGruber. You finally defused a bomb. And that would-be bomb was your own supposed-to-be-crappy movie. EDIT
Posted May 22, 2010
3.5/4 The Secret in Their Eyes (2009) Mike Ward We may never get a Law & Order: The Movie to commemorate the stalwart series' final fizzle, but we do have the next best thing in The Secret in their Eyes. EDIT
Posted May 21, 2010
2/4 Robin Hood (2010) Mike Ward Ridley Scott's spin on the classic Robin Hood yarn starts out with great promise, but by the time 140 minutes tick away and the film collapses into Hollywood cliché and convention, the audience is half expecting to hear Bryan Adams' Everything I Do.</i EDIT
Posted May 17, 2010
3/4 Iron Man 2 (2010) Mike Ward Both the movie franchise and Tony Stark the alter ego are more self indulgent than putting your picture on a restaurant wall after downing a 5-lb. bacon cheese burger, then getting that burger named after you. And naming it Awesome. EDIT
Posted May 7, 2010
1/4 A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) Mike Ward The movie takes itself way too seriously, like a Medieval Times waiter acting scared of a cell phone. EDIT
Posted May 3, 2010
3/4 The Losers (2010) Mike Ward Here is a big screen comic production with a relatively paltry marketing budget, tiny expectations and zero fast food promotions. EDIT
Posted Apr 24, 2010
2.5/4 Oceans (2009) Mike Ward I never thought I would like anything made by two dudes named Jacques unless I could eat it for dessert or buy it from a truck stop men's room vending machine. EDIT
Posted Apr 23, 2010
2/4 Death at a Funeral (2010) Mike Ward The ensemble family farce squats awkwardly in cinematic purgatory figuratively, and then very nearly literally during a 10-minute slapstick bathroom scene involving Tracy Morgan and Danny Glover. EDIT
Posted Apr 18, 2010
1/4 Clash of the Titans (2010) Mike Ward The Clash of the Titans remake is the most embarrassing black eye for Greeks since the short-lived McGyro. EDIT
Posted Apr 2, 2010
3/4 Hot Tub Time Machine (2010) Mike Ward After I finish writing this film criticism of Hot Tub Time Machine, maybe I'll do a Hooter's restaurant review or give the business to a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book. Seriously, what the hell is the point? EDIT
Posted Mar 27, 2010
2/4 Chloe (2009) Mike Ward If the tawdry indie flick Chloe had one more gratuitous hotel tryst and starred Shannon Tweed instead of Julianne Moore, it would have been a throwback Skinemax movie. EDIT
Posted Mar 26, 2010