Bill Hader

Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!

Pussies on the pavement fellas, come on!

Greetings! I am a pig.

What's a pig?

Unbelieveable.

Oh. Where we're going.

We practiced this a hundred times. Give it to me.

We're gonna come in again.

Oh my god, he's calling me.

Why would he call? You guys just had sex.

[answers phone] This is Amy. I think you butt dialed me.

This is Amy. I think you butt dialed me.

No, I dialed you with my fingers.

[to Nikki] He called me on purpose.

He called me on purpose.

Hang up! He's obviously like sick or something.

I was calling to say I had a really good time last night and was wondering if you wanted to, um, hang out again.

I'm going to call the police.

Fucking people.

Boyband Island? Hope that's just a phase.

Maybe it was a bear?

There are no bears in San Francisco.

I saw a really hairy guy, he looked like a bear.

You guys, the bathroom here is nuts.

You need to focus on saving the world. Be a hero.

OK. You're right, sir.

Excellent! Let's go!

There's a leak in the boat!

Ok! Ok! We'll take the boat!

Its going to be deadly dangerous with a good chance of death

It's going to be deadly dangerous with a good chance of death.

And thats why well need help!

I can't beleive my mechine created all of this!

I can't beleive my machine created all of this!

No dream is too big, and no dreamer is too small.

Oh man, i'm late again!

Oh, no! In my first day I will not arrive late.

McLovin? Were you violating that young girl? Were you violating her with your penis?

When it rains, you put on a coat. Of SPRAY-ON SHOES!

Fle-Se-Stafur!

You know pools are perfect for holding water

You know pools are perfect for holding water.

You spank that ass, Les!

You see this contact lens, Fran Lockwood.

Mmhmmm

Mmhmmm.

Mmhmmm.

This contact lens represent you.

Alright

Alright.

Alright.

And my eye represents my eye.

Okay...

Okay...

I've got my EYE on YOU!

What did i just say to Dave?

Who?

I like to party I'm Rod.

No! you're Kevin.

Right, I party.

No Kevin, I know for a fact you don't party

Right, Dave's the party guy

Haha sweet.

Oh my god shut up

Oh my god shut up.

speedman is a dying star a white dwarf heading for a black role thats physics its inveditible

Speedman is a dying star. A white dwarf headed for a black hole. That's physics. It's inevitable.

weve been handed an incredible oppurtunity here beck

We've been handed an incredible opportunity here...

the universe...is talking to us right now you just gotta listen see this is the good part pecker this is when the job gets fun ask and you shall recieve

The universe... is talking to us right now. You just gotta listen. [turns on Flo Rider's 'Low' and begins to dance to the beat]

right...

you play ball ...we play ball i knoowwwwww...you want the goodies

welcome to the goodie room

you paying attention im talking...g5 pecker thats how you can roll no more frequent flyer bitch miles for my boys oh yeah playa...big dick playa

swinging past your knees

I'll contact you when the happening has happened

I'll contact you when the happening has happened.

Come on, Steve. We've got diem to carpe!

Wow Rod, I can't believe she said yes.

Yeah, well, you have only to believe if you wish to achieve, Kevin. That rhymed. Unintentional.

Man, Rod! I am just green with jealous rage right now.

Not so long ago in the distant realm of Toronto, Canada, Scott Pilgrim was dating a high schooler...

You've got a mountain for a face.

You have come to save us like angels from heaven!

Is this the end of Hansel?

Olley olley oxen free!

K.O.!

K.O.

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

You shall not pass!

A long time ago, in a distant land, called Toronto, Canada.

Ah, Dad your ok, Good, ok now I need you to grab a file on mycomputer, drag it into my e-mail window-ahh-type in my name and press send.

Ah, Dad your ok, good, ok now I need you to grab a file on mycomputer, drag it into my e-mail window-ahh-type in my name and press send.

Uhh, Window?

(narratin) I wanted to run away tht day, but you can't run away from your own feet.

I wanted to run away tht day, but you can't run away from your own feet.

I arrested a man-lady who was legally named Phuck.

Welcome to the goodie room!

You paying attention? I'm talking... G5, Pecker! That's how you can roll. No more frequent flyer bitch miles for my boy! Oh yeah! Playa... playa! Big dick playa!

Swinging past ya knees!

Big di*k, baby!

Yep

[turns off the music] Or... you can grow a conscience in the next five minutes and see where that takes you.

Let me get this straight. You want me to let my client of 15 years, one of my best friends, die in the jungle alone, for some money and a G5?

Yes

[dancing along] Right...

You play ball... we play ball. I knoowwww... you want the goodies!

You play ball. We play ball. I know you want the goodies!

We've been handed an incredible opportunity here, Peck.

[about Speedman] They're going to kill him!

And we'll weep for him... in the press, set up a scholarship in his name, eventually - and I'm talkin' way, way down the road - we file an insurance claim.

And we'll weep for him... in the press. Set up a scholarship in his name, eventually, and I'm talkin' way, way down the road, we file an insurance claim.

Preferably before the end of the fiscal year. Actually, the claim alone would net us more than the movie would lose.

Private Miller, you've been smoking item nine for seven minutes and thirteen seconds. We're going to ask you several questions. How do you feel?

Ah, well, sir, I feel like a, like a slice of butter... melting on top of a big-ol' pile of flapjacks... yeah.

Come on, Steve. We've got a diem to carpe!

In the mysterious land of.... Toronto, Canada