Bill Nighy

Remember, I have no soul.

You have soul.

No, I never said we could fix things. I specifically never said that. Life's a mixed bag, no matter who you are. Look at Jesus: he was the son of a God, for God's sake and look how that turned out.

I'd only give one piece of advice to anyone marrying. We're all quite similar in the end. We all get old and tell the same tales too many times. But try and marry someone kind. And this is a kind man with a good heart.

You cannot save the human race, nothing can stop their demise

You cannot save the human race, nothing can stop their demise.

A crass, contrived effort movie that's not even good to watch in a dentist chair!

Where does life begin, and where does it end? Tonight's experiment represents the culmination of three years' research-

Dr. Wade, time is fleeting. I would ask that you not waste mine.

It's here!

He, not it.

Just because something has yet to be found does not mean it does not exist.

I invested our, well, my retirement money in our daughter's Internet company. She assured me that as soon as the startup actually, um, started up and the conversion from virtual to actual became sufficiently viable, then she'd be able to pay it all back.

I'm not sure I understand what most of those words mean.

Well, it turns out neither did she.

Are you insane? Avoid all food not from a reputable vendor. It'll be washed in impure water.

It's just a sandwich.

Oh, marvelous. Then I'll have ham, cheese, and streptococcus. Or perhaps bacteria, lettuce, and tomato.

Would you like some of this? I believe it's called aloo ka paratha.

No, if I can't pronounce it, I don't want to eat it.

You could bring the flowers you forgot on Mother's Day.

I was gonna.

And not a cheap posy from a garage forecourt.

I wasn't gonna

I wasn't gonna.

I am now your king, now follow as I lead

I am now your king, now follow as I lead.

Believe me, they'll find a way. Governments loathe people being free.

Here comes the thunder.

I once faked a broken heart, but I ran out of energy.

Fee fi fo fum. Ask not whence the thunder comes. For between Heaven and Earth is a perilous place. Home to a fearsome giant race.

Fee fi fo fum. Ask not whence the thunder comes. For between Heaven and Earth is a perilous place. Home to a fearsome giant race.

No man on earth should be so violently in love. It puts him at such a disadvantage.

We get up in the morning and we do our best, and nothing else matter

We get up in the morning and we do our best, and nothing else matters.

you blew my cover

You blew my cover!

I'm so sorry...

Sorry for what?

Er...nothing.

I juh-I just wondered if you might like to come. To Reykjavik.

Reykjavik?

Yeah, I'm-I'm moderately senior and we're allowed to bring wi-ives...and um, such like.

Isn't it wonderful the way there are absolutely no cabs in London at all nowadays? Perfect for dithering.

Perhaps it's a place about which everyone knows only one fact.

This is no place for coconutophobes.

[Calling Gina] Oh, hello. Ah- It-It-It-It's me, Lawrence. We, uh- [Gina speaking, unheard] Well, of-of course you remember. It-It was only... six hours ago. Yes, quite. You'd have had to have some sort of aneurysm or something to forget.

Was the pea soup disgusting?

Inedible. I think there were at least two types of pea in there- one, the kind you don't usually put in food.

Yes, well, I don't really scrub up. No matter how hard I try. The more I scrub, the more you see the horror beneath.

Well, it was lovely, um, sitting directly opposite you.

And you.

I enjoyed the early diagonal bit as well, obviously.

That is not the only reason you are here.

I want to remember.

Why?

So I can be myself, be who I was.

It it each man's quest to find out who he truly is but the answer to that lies in the present, not in the past. As it is for all of us.

But the past tells us who we've become.

The past is a construct of the mind. It blinds us. It fools us into believing it. But the heart wants to live in the present. Look there. You'll find your answer.

Let's get drunk and watch porn!

Let's get pissed and watch porn.

This hideous old bat in a wheelchair, she just tried to kill me, she had a knife this big! I swear!

It was horrible!

It's true!

Mother!

Time to die.

Ah. Love. A dreadful bond. And yet, so easily severed. Tell me, William Turner. Do you fear death?

Do you? Heady tonic, holding life and death in the palm of one's hand.

You're a cruel man, Jack Sparrow.

Cruel is a matter of perspective.

Is it?

Do you fear death? Do you fear that dark abyss? All your deeds laid bare, all your sins punished? I can offer you an escape.

You will not forestall my judgement!

These are dark times, there is no denying. Our world has perhaps faced no greater threat than it does today.

Damn you Jack Sparrow!

I ran it under a cold tap!

[To Whitey] Keep your legs straight when you hit the water!

[to Whitey] Keep your legs straight when you hit the water!

I kept me legs straight, Spike. [Spike groans in pain]

Luke, I am your father.

There are no survivors.

You owe me your soul.

We've been discovered

We've been discovered.

I am the sea.

Tell me, William Turner: do you fear death?

Do you?

Tell me, Jack! Do you fear death?

You have no idea!

Do you fear... death? Do you fear that dark abyss? All your deeds laid bare, all your sins punished?

With all do respect sir. You can't just make people disappear

With all do respect sir. You can't just make people disappear.

Yes I can I'm the Chief inspector

Yes I can I'm the Chief inspector.

[Ed is driving Philip's Jaguar very fast, dodging other cars as he tries to escape the zombies] [pompously] You *do* realise this is a 20 mph zone?

[grinning] Oh yeah!

One soul is not equal to another.

The sword may present itself to any worthy Gryffindor, Miss Granger, that does not make it that wizard's property.

"I'll never forget the look on your dads face. Couldnt look me in the eye. 'Dad' he says. 'Steve thinks it's best if you don't fly anymore. Were scrapping the old slay'."

I'll never forget the look on your dads face. Couldnt look me in the eye. 'Dad' he says. 'Steve thinks it's best if you don't fly anymore. Were scrapping the old slay'.

"This is just like the last time!"

This is just like the last time!

"What last time?"

What last time?

"The last time I took Eve out on a spin. I didn't know it was the Cuban missile crisis. I nearly started world war 3!"

The last time I took Eve out on a spin. I didn't know it was the Cuban missile crisis. I nearly started world war 3!

"I always knew she would be needed one last time."

I always knew she would be needed one last time.

"I stuck that their for your father when he was a boy."

I stuck that their for your father when he was a boy.

"Dad sat here!"

Dad sat here!

"Oh look a beautiful young reindeer. Well then who am I?"

Oh look a beautiful young reindeer. Well then who am I?

"Get off you bag of fleas!"

Get off you bag of fleas!

"Go ahead festive Freddy. Sling your rock. Go on. I want my bed."

Go ahead festive Freddy. Sling your rock. Go on. I want my bed.

"It doesn't matter how she got the bike. Gwen would have never seen that."

It doesn't matter how she got the bike. Gwen would have never seen that.

"A cheat!"

A cheat!

"Here's to me. To an even better job next year!"

Here's to me. To an even better job next year!

"Your already perfect dad."

Your already perfect dad.

"Ha! That turkey did more than him."

Ha! That turkey did more than him.

"Take the elf!"

Take the elf!

"Grandsanta!"

Grandsanta!

"For the love of Lu-Lu."

For the love of Lu-Lu.

"That turkey did more than him."

That turkey did more than him.

"In Santa we believe!"

In Santa we believe!

"How about you be the candle Steve. All those bright ideas."

How about you be the candle Steve. All those bright ideas.

"Fine I'm the candle. Arthur you can be the turkey. You of course dad are Santa." (Eye twitches) "And Grandsanta you can be this charming relic."

Fine I'm the candle. Arthur you can be the turkey. You of course dad are Santa. [eye twitches] And Grandsanta you can be this charming relic.

"Relic? Relic! I did a whole Christmas in one of these! And I bet you I can do it again."

Relic? Relic! I did a whole Christmas in one of these! And I bet you I can do it again.

"In a pile of sticks."

In a pile of sticks.

"Let me at him! Let me at him!"

Let me at him! Let me at him!

"Well I'm actually Santa so I think I should be Santa."

Well I'm actually Santa so I think I should be Santa.

"Yes well your the non-executive figure-head."

Yes well your the non-executive figure-head.

"He's a fattie with a beard who fits the suit."

He's a fattie with a beard who fits the suit.

"I'm Santa! Give me that!"

I'm Santa! Give me that!

"I'm Santa! This is ridiculous. You just took the piece out of my hand."

I'm Santa! This is ridiculous. You just took the piece out of my hand.

"You. Up there. With this?"

You. Up there. With this?

"I always liked Toronto. No one lives here. It's nice and quite."

I always liked Toronto. No one lives here. It's nice and quite.

"They won't kill me! I'm Santa."

They won't kill me! I'm Santa.

"I'm too young to die! Do something Arthur! Arthur!"

I'm too young to die! Do something Arthur! Arthur!

"I can wrap anything with three slaps of sticky tap! Three!

I can wrap anything with three slaps of sticky tap! Three!

"Good. Wrap yourself a parachute!" (Throws Bryony off the sled)

Good. Wrap yourself a parachute! [throws Bryony off the sled]

"Grandsanta!"

Grandsanta!

"My camera!"

My camera!

"Whoopee doo."

Whoopee doo.

"You naughty children. Here have a Bon-Bon." (Hands Steve a rotting apple).

You naughty children. Here have a Bon-Bon. [hands Steve a rotting apple]

"He's a postman in a spaceship.''

He's a postman in a spaceship.

"I can't eat that. It gets in me teeth."

I can't eat that. It gets in me teeth.

"So what if the little nipper sees him. A wack on the head with a sock full of sand and a dab of whiskey on the lips and they dont remember a thing.''

So what if the little nipper sees him. A wack on the head with a sock full of sand and a dab of whiskey on the lips and they dont remember a thing.

"How do you thinks he's..."

How do you thinks he's...

"Fine. Fine."

Fine. Fine.

"AHHHH!!!"

AHHHH!

"So why didn't they scrap the old slay?"

So why didn't they scrap the old slay?

"I threatened the elfs. Told them I'd feed them to the polar bears."

I threatened the elfs. Told them I'd feed them to the polar bears.

"Oh."

Oh.

"Elf. You wouldn't mind telling his parents about this."

Elf. You wouldn't mind telling his parents about this.

"Premission to breath sir."

Permission to breath sir.

"Fine. One breathe."

Fine. One breathe.

Jack Sparrow, do you afraid of death?

You have no idea.

Spectacular Mistake.

Spectacular mistake.

"What do you want me to wrap?"

What do you want me to wrap?

"Wrap your head!"

Wrap your head!

"Yes sir."

Yes sir.

"They once said it was impossible to teach women to read."

They once said it was impossible to teach women to read.

Christmas is a time for people with someone they love in their lives.

Arthur, there is a way.

It's impossible.

They used to say it was impossible to teach women to read.

At least have the decency to finish us off!

At least have the decency to finish us off with a rock.

Everyone got a sausage nailed to a piece of bark.

Every child that year got a sausage nailed to a piece of bark!

Dasher, Dancer, Prancer....erm, Bambi, John, the one with the white ear, you, you..not you, you big bag of fleas

Dasher, Dancer, Prancer....erm, Bambi, John, the one with the white ear, you, you..not you, you big bag of fleas.

Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Bambi, Dave, you with the white ear, you and you.

What happened to going down the chimney?

Danger is my middle name!

I thought it was Leslie.

Nasty.

You wouldn't want the boss to catch you 'round here.

Let me go, you pink-eyed freak!

I'm upset now.

To find a rat, you got to think like a rat.

You know very well the consequences if you murder me... or William

You know well the consequences if your murder me. Or William.

If you so much as speak his name again, you will have chosen that future for him

If you so much as speak his name again you will have chosen that future for him.

Only takes one bullet.

You ain't got the nerve.

Try me.

Go to Hell!

Where'd you think I came from?!