Jamie Kennedy

Shondra says: Damn! What happened to you?

Brad Gluckman says: Shut up hoe.

Shondra says: Hoe! Who you callin' a hoe, hoe?

Brad Gluckman says: You hoe! The same hoe that gave that weak ass kiss 5 minutes ago in the bedroom.

PJ says: Shondra?

Sean says: I told you she liked white boys.

Randy Meeks says: I'd let the geek, get the girl.

Walter Wogaman says: Can I have my pants, please? Pants, on my legs.

Walter Wogaman says: Military regulations, you cannot drive. Step away from the Chenoweth, ma'am. Don't make me shoot you, ma'am.

Mickey says: The Empire Strikes Back. Better story, improved effects.

Randy Meeks says: Not a sequel. Part of a trilogy. Completely planned.

Hallie says: I like those little furry things.

Mickey says: They're Ewoks. They blow.

Sidney Prescott says: Three hundred people watched. Nobody did anything. They thought it was publicity stunt, for Christ's sakes.

Randy Meeks says: [with Cockney accent] And it would have been a good one too.

Randy Meeks says: And it would have been a good one too.

Sidney Prescott says: It's starting again Randy.

Randy Meeks says: [with Cockney accent again] It's not. A lot of shit happens at the movies. People get robbed, shot, maimed, murdered. Multiplex is just a very dangerous place to be these days.

Randy Meeks says: It's not. A lot of shit happens at the movies. People get robbed, shot, maimed, murdered. Multiplex is just a very dangerous place to be these days.

Sidney Prescott says: Yeah, and you are in extreme denial.

Sidney Prescott says: Yeah and you are in extreme denial.

Dewey Riley says: When did she started smoking?

Randy Meeks says: Ever since those nude pictures on the internet.

Gale Weathers says: It was just my head, it was Jennifer Aniston's body!

Randy Meeks says: There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to create a successful sequel. Number one: the body count is always bigger. Number two: the death scenes are always much more elaborate - more blood, more gore - *carnage candy*. And number three: never, ever, under any circumstances, assume the killer is dead.

Randy Meeks says: Did the police ask if you liked to hunt?

Tatum Riley says: Why would they do that? They didn't ask me.

Stuart says: Because there's no way a girl could have killed them.

Tatum Riley says: That is so sexist. The killer could have easily been a female. Basic Instinct.

Stuart says: That was an ice pick, not exactly the same thing.

Stuart says: Yeah, Casey and Steve were completely hollowed out. In fact,it takes a man to do something like that.

Tatum Riley says: Or a man's mentality.

Stuart says: Why would he want to kill his own girlfriend?

Randy Meeks says: There's always some stupid bullshit reason to kill your girlfriend. That's the beauty of it all! Simplicity! Besides, if it gets too complicated, you lose your target audience.

Randy Meeks says: [staring at Billy Loomis in the videostore] If you were the only suspect in a senseless bloodbath - would you be standing in the horror section?

Sidney Prescott says: Didn't you used to date Casey?

Stuart says: Yeah, for, like, two seconds!

Randy Meeks says: Til she dumped his ass for Steve!

Tatum Riley says: (To Stu) I thought you dumped her for me...

Tatum Riley says: [to Stu] I thought you dumped her for me...

Debbie Salt says: (As Ghostface) What's your favorite scary movie?

Debbie Salt says: [as Ghostface] What's your favorite scary movie?

Randy Meeks says: Showgirls, absolutely terrifying!

Dewey Riley says: Creepy Karen?

Randy Meeks says: Shut up! She's a sweet person, okay? We were working late. We were putting away some videos in the porno section, and, you know, shit happens. (shouting and knocking from the door behind him) Fifteen minutes. (it continues) Paul, fifteen minutes! I'm leaving my legacy. (it continues) Fifteen minutes, Paul! Damn! Anyway, the reason I'm here is to help you so that my death will not be in vain. That my life's work will help save some other poor soul from getting mutilated. If this killer does come back, and he's for real, there are a few things that you gotta remember. Is this simply another sequel? Well, if it is, same rules apply. But, here's the critical thing. If you find yourself dealing with an unexpected back-story, and a preponderance of exposition, then the sequel rules do not apply. Because you are not dealing with a sequel. You are dealing with the concluding chapter of a trilogy. That's right. It's a rarity in the horror field, but it does exist, and it is a force to be reckoned with. Because true trilogies are all about going back to the beginning and discovering something that wasn't true from the get-go. Godfather, Jedi, all revealed something that we thought was true that wasn't true. So if it is a trilogy you are dealing with, here are some super trilogy rules. One: you've got a killer who's gonna be superhuman. Stabbing him won't work. Shooting him won't work. Basically, in the third one, you've gotta cryogenically freeze his head, decapitate him, or blow him up. Number two: anyone, including the main character, can die. This means you, Sid. I'm sorry. It's the final chapter. It could be fucking Reservoir Dogs by the time this thing is through. Number three: the past will come back to bite you in the ass. Whatever you think you know about the past, forget it. The past is not at rest! Any sins you think were committed in the past are about to break out and destroy you. (long pause) So in closing, let me say...good luck, godspeed, and for some of you, I'll see you soon. 'Cause the rules say some of you ain't gonna make it. I didn't. Not if you're watching this tape (the video promptly ends)

Randy Meeks says: Shut up! She's a sweet person, okay? We were working late. We were putting away some videos in the porno section, and, you know, shit happens. (shouting and knocking from the door behind him) Fifteen minutes. (it continues) Paul, fifteen minutes! I'm leaving my legacy. (it continues) Fifteen minutes, Paul! Damn! Anyway, the reason I'm here is to help you so that my death will not be in vain. That my life's work will help save some other poor soul from getting mutilated. If this killer does come back, and he's for real, there are a few things that you gotta remember. Is this simply another sequel? Well, if it is, same rules apply. But, here's the critical thing. If you find yourself dealing with an unexpected back-story, and a preponderance of exposition, then the sequel rules do not apply. Because you are not dealing with a sequel. You are dealing with the concluding chapter of a trilogy. That's right. It's a rarity in the horror field, but it does exist, and it is a force to be reckoned with. Because true trilogies are all about going back to the beginning and discovering something that wasn't true from the get-go. Godfather, Jedi, all revealed something that we thought was true that wasn't true. So if it is a trilogy you are dealing with, here are some super trilogy rules. One: you've got a killer who's gonna be superhuman. Stabbing him won't work. Shooting him won't work. Basically, in the third one, you've gotta cryogenically freeze his head, decapitate him, or blow him up. Number two: anyone, including the main character, can die. This means you, Sid. I'm sorry. It's the final chapter. It could be fucking Reservoir Dogs by the time this thing is through. Number three: the past will come back to bite you in the ass. Whatever you think you know about the past, forget it. The past is not at rest! Any sins you think were committed in the past are about to break out and destroy you. (long pause) So in closing, let me say...good luck, godspeed, and for some of you, I'll see you soon. 'Cause the rules say some of you ain't gonna make it. I didn't. Not if you're watching this tape (the video promptly ends).

Randy Meeks says: Maybe wouldn't have sex with him...

Stuart says: what, is she savin' herself for you?

Stuart says: What, is she savin' herself for you?

Randy Meeks says: maybe.

Randy Meeks says: Maybe.

Theo Gold says: Technically no. But he did order a lot of donuts.

Randy Meeks says: There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie. For instance: 1. You can never have sex. The minute you get a little nookie--you're as good as gone. Sex always equals death. 2. Never drink or do drugs. The sin factor. It's an extension of number one. And 3. Never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, say "I'll be right back."

Randy Meeks says: There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie. For instance: 1. You can never have sex. The minute you get a little nookie--you're as good as gone. Sex always equals death. 2. Never drink or do drugs. The sin factor. It's an extension of number one. And 3. Never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, say 'I'll be right back.'

Major Archie Gates says: Though's don't work in the day time

Major Archie Gates says: Though's don't work in the day time.

Walter Wogaman says: They kinda do

Walter Wogaman says: They kinda do.

Randy Meeks says: can't you see she's planning for her next book, that's what reporter's do Dewey, they stage the news!

Randy Meeks says: Can't you see she's planning for her next book, that's what reporter's do Dewey, they stage the news!

Dewey Riley says: No, Gale's a lot of things, but gale's not a killer...

Randy Meeks says: com'on just because your sweet on her...

Randy Meeks says: Com'on just because your sweet on her...

Dewey Riley says: no I'm not..

Dewey Riley says: No I'm not..

Randy Meeks says: Please! this is me,talking Randy, the unrequited love slave of Sidney Prescott, know all about obsession (shows his bullet shut to Dewey) and pain...

Randy Meeks says: Please! this is me,talking Randy, the unrequited love slave of Sidney Prescott, know all about obsession [shows his bullet shut to Dewey] and pain...

Dave says: But movies cost millions of dollars to make.

Bobby Bowfinger says: That's after gross net deduction profit percentage deferment ten percent of the nut. Cash, every movie cost $2,184.

Randy Meeks says: (Randy answered the cellphone)Gale's not here!

Randy Meeks says: [Randy answered the cellphone] Gale's not here!

Mickey says: (with the voice of ghostface) I'm not interrupting anything am i? you little three are deep in thought, have you ever felt the knife cut through human flesh and scrape the bone beneath.... hehehehe....

Mickey says: [with the voice of ghostface] I'm not interrupting anything am I? you little three are deep in thought, have you ever felt the knife cut through human flesh and scrape the bone beneath.... hehehehe....

Brad Gluckman says: Traffic traffic Looking for my chapstick Feeling kinda carsick There's a ford maverick

Brad Gluckman says: Traffic traffic Looking for my chapstick Feeling kinda carsick There's a ford maverick.

Evil Ice Cream Man says: I want my coil.

Dobbs says: I want my handheld!

Evil Ice Cream Man says: What'd you say, punk?

Dobbs says: I said "I want my handheld."

Dobbs says: I said 'I want my handheld.'

Evil Ice Cream Man says: You want your handheld?

Dobbs says: Yeah. You heard me. I said "I want my handheld."

Dobbs says: Yeah. You heard me. I said 'I want my handheld.'

Evil Ice Cream Man says: You want me to hold your hand?

Dobbs says: No!

Evil Ice Cream Man says: Need somebody to hold his hand! Little baby! Little baby!

Randy Meeks says: What's your favorite scary movie?

Mickey says: [as Ghostface] You'll never find me!

Randy Meeks says: Yeah, what do you care? Let them have their fun.

Mickey says: [as Ghostface] What's your favorite scary movie?

Randy Meeks says: Showgirls. Absolutely frightening.

Randy Meeks says: [Gale's phone rings and Randy answers it] Gale's not here!

Mickey says: [as Ghostface] I'm not interrupting anything, am I? You three look deep in thought. Have you ever felt a knife cut through human flesh and scrape the bone beneath? [maniacal laugh]

Randy Meeks says: It's him.

Dewey Riley says: Who?

Randy Meeks says: The killer. He can see us. All three of us.

Randy Meeks says: [discussing with Dewey who is the killer] Hallie.

Dewey Riley says: Sid's roommate? No, serial killers are typically white male.

Randy Meeks says: That's why it's perfect. It's sort of against the rules, but not really. Mrs. Voorhees was a terrific serial killer, and there's always room for Candyman's daughter. She's sweet, she's deadly, she's bad for your teeth.

Randy Meeks says: Don't ever, EVER say I'll be right back, cause you won't be back.

Stuart says: I'm getting another beer, want one?.

Stuart says: I'm getting another beer, want one?

Randy Meeks says: Yes, sure.

Randy Meeks says: Yeah, sure.

Stuart says: I'll be right back!.

Stuart says: I'll be right back!

Dewey Riley says: Trilogy?

Randy Meeks says: That's right, it's a rarity in the horror field but it does exist, and it is a force to be reckoned with. Because true trilogies are all about going back to the beginning and discovering something that wasn't true from the get go. Godfather, Jedi, all revealed something that we thought was true that wasn't true. So if it is a trilogy you are dealing with, here are some super trilogy rules: 1. You got a killer who's going to be super human. Stabbing him won't work. Shooting him won't work. Basically in the third one you gotta cryogenically freeze his head, decapitate him, or blow him up. 2. Anyone including the main character can die. This means you Sid. I'm sorry. It's the final chapter. It could be fu**ing "Reservoir Dogs" by the time this thing is through. Number 3. The past will come back to bite you in the ass. Whatever you think you know about the past, forget it. The past is not at rest. Any sins you think were committed in the past are about to break out and destroy you. So in closing, let me say good luck, god speed, and for some of you, I'll see you soon. 'Cause the rules say some of you ain't gonna make it. I didn't, not if you're watching this tape.

Randy Meeks says: That's right, it's a rarity in the horror field but it does exist, and it is a force to be reckoned with. Because true trilogies are all about going back to the beginning and discovering something that wasn't true from the get go. Godfather, Jedi, all revealed something that we thought was true that wasn't true. So if it is a trilogy you are dealing with, here are some super trilogy rules: 1. You got a killer who's going to be super human. Stabbing him won't work. Shooting him won't work. Basically in the third one you gotta cryogenically freeze his head, decapitate him, or blow him up. 2. Anyone including the main character can die. This means you Sid. I'm sorry. It's the final chapter. It could be fu**ing 'Reservoir Dogs' by the time this thing is through. Number 3. The past will come back to bite you in the ass. Whatever you think you know about the past, forget it. The past is not at rest. Any sins you think were committed in the past are about to break out and destroy you. So in closing, let me say good luck, god speed, and for some of you, I'll see you soon. 'Cause the rules say some of you ain't gonna make it. I didn't, not if you're watching this tape.

Randy Meeks says: A lot of sh*t happens at the movies, people get robbed, shot, maimed, murdered. Multiplexes are very dangerous places to be these days.

Randy Meeks says: It's deputy Dew...Woodsboro's finest! What's he doing here?

Randy Meeks says: It's deputy Dew. Woodsboro's finest! What's he doing here?

Dewey Riley says: Typically, serial killers are white male.

Randy Meeks says: That's why it's perfect! It's sort of against the rules but not really. Mrs. Voorhees was a terrific serial killer, and there's always room for Candyman's daughter. She's sweet, she's deadly, she's bad for your teeth.

Randy Meeks says: There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to create a successful sequel. Number one: the body count is always bigger. Number two: the death scenes are always much more elaborate - more blood, more gore - "carnage candy". And number three: never, ever, under any circumstances, assume the killer is dead.

Randy Meeks says: There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to create a successful sequel. Number one: the body count is always bigger. Number two: the death scenes are always much more elaborate - more blood, more gore - 'carnage candy'. And number three: never, ever, under any circumstances, assume the killer is dead.

Randy Meeks says: Mickey, the freaky Tarantino film student. But if he's a suspect, so am I. Let's move on.

Dewey Riley says: Wait a minute. Maybe you are a suspect.

Randy Meeks says: Well if I'm a suspect, you're a suspect.

Dewey Riley says: Good point. Okay, let's move on...

Dewey Riley says: Good point. Okay, let's move on.

Mickey says: Empire Strikes Back. Better story, improved effects.

Randy Meeks says: Not a sequel, part of a trilogy, completely planned.

Randy Meeks says: Oh yeah? We'll let's re-direct the moment Mr. "I'm So Original". Where's your motivation? Huh? Why copy yourself off of two high school loser ass di*kheads? Stu was a pussy ass wet rag...And Billy Loomis? Billy Loomis, what the f**k? Jesus! Talk about a rat looking homo repressed momma's boy! Why not set your goals higher huh? You wanna be one of the big boys! Huh? Manson, Bundy, O.J.

Randy Meeks says: Oh yeah? We'll let's re-direct the moment Mr. 'I'm So Original'. Where's your motivation? Huh? Why copy yourself off of two high school loser ass di*kheads? Stu was a pussy ass wet rag. And Billy Loomis? Billy Loomis, what the f**k? Jesus! Talk about a rat looking homo repressed momma's boy! Why not set your goals higher huh? You wanna be one of the big boys! Huh? Manson, Bundy, O.J.

Mickey says: (OR DEBBIE SALT?) - Why are you even here Randy? You'll never be the leading man.

Mickey says: Why are you even here Randy? You'll never be the leading man.

Randy Meeks says: Fuuuuuuu*k you!

Randy Meeks says: Fu*k you!

Mickey says: (OR DEBBIE SALT?) No matter how hard you try you'll never be the hero and you'll never ever get the girl.

Mickey says: No matter how hard you try you'll never be the hero and you'll never ever get the girl.

Randy Meeks says: (when asked how he'd make a horror movie different?) - ...I'd let the geek get the girl.

Randy Meeks says: (when asked how he'd make a horror movie different?) I'd let the geek get the girl.

Randy Meeks says: Sorry. So, what's your favorite scary movie? The Dorm that Dripped Blood, The House on Sorority Row, Graduation Day?

Randy Meeks says: Sidney, look, it's Gale Weathers.

Sidney Prescott says: What?

Randy Meeks says: Star of the Gale Weathers press conference...Author of the press conference starring Gale Weathers. Soon to be a major motion picture starring Gale Weathers!

Randy Meeks says: Star of the Gale Weathers press conference. Author of the press conference starring Gale Weathers. Soon to be a major motion picture starring Gale Weathers!

Randy Meeks says: I cannot believe it. They get Tori Spelling to play Sid, and they cast Joe Blow Nobody to play me. At least you get David Schwimmer. I get the guy who drove the stagecoach for one episode of Dr. Quinn!

Dewey Riley says: When did she start smoking?

Randy Meeks says: Ever since those nude pictures on the internet.

Gale Weathers says: It was just my head...it was Jennifer Aniston's body!

Gale Weathers says: It was just my head. It was Jennifer Aniston's body!

Dewey Riley says: Look, Gale's no killer.

Randy Meeks says: Okay, all right then, but if she's not a killer, she's a target.

Randy Meeks says: Get a room!

Mickey says: (OR DEBBIE SALT?) - What's your favorite scary movie?

Mickey says: What's your favorite scary movie?

Randy Meeks says: Showgirls...absolutely frightening.

Randy Meeks says: Showgirls. Absolutely frightening.

Sidney Prescott says: The Fog, Terror Train, Prom Night. How come Jamie Lee Curtis is in all of these movies?

Randy Meeks says: She's the "Scream Queen"!

Randy Meeks says: She's the 'Scream Queen'!

Stuart says: Yeah with a set of lungs like that, she should be.

Tatum Riley says: Tits! See?

Stuart says: I didn't kill anybody.

Billy Loomis says: Nobody said you did.

Stuart says: Thanks buddy!

Randy Meeks says: Besides..."It takes a MAN to do something like that!"

Randy Meeks says: Besides, 'It takes a MAN to do something like that!

Stuart says: Yeah I ought to gut your ass in a second, kid.

Randy Meeks says: Tell me something. Did you really put her liver in the mailbox? Because I heard they found her liver in the mailbox next to her spleen and her pancreas.

Stuart says: Because there's no way a girl could have killed them.

Tatum Riley says: That is so sexist. The killer could easily be female...Basic Instinct?

Tatum Riley says: That is so sexist. The killer could easily be female. Basic Instinct?

Randy Meeks says: That was an ice pick. Not exactly the same thing.

Stuart says: Yeah, Casey and Steve were completely hollowed out. In fact, it takes a man to do something like that.

Randy Meeks says: We had a run in the mass murder section.

Randy Meeks says: Careful. This is the moment when the supposedly dead killer comes back to life, for one last scare.

Sidney Prescott says: (shoots Billy after he rises up) - Not in my movie.

Sidney Prescott says: (shoots Billy after he rises up) Not in my movie.

Stuart says: You know who I think it is? I think it's her father. Why can't they find her pops man?

Randy Meeks says: Because, he's probably dead. His body will come popping up in the last reel somewhere! Eyes gouged out! Fingers cut off! Teeth knocked out! See, the police are always off track with this sh*t. If they'd watch Prom Night they'd save time. There's a formula to it! A very simple formula! Everybody's a suspect! I'm telling you, the dad's a red herring. It's Billy.

Randy Meeks says: There are certain RULES that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie. For instance, number one: you can never have sex. (crowd boo's)...BIG NO NO! BIG NO NO! Sex equals death, okay? Number two: you can never drink or do drugs...The sin factor! It's a sin. It's an extension of number one. And number three: never, ever, ever under any circumstances say, "I'll be right back." Because you won't be back.

Randy Meeks says: There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie. For instance, number one: you can never have sex. (crowd boo's) BIG NO NO! BIG NO NO! Sex equals death, okay? Number two: you can never drink or do drugs. The sin factor! It's a sin. It's an extension of number one. And number three: never, ever, ever under any circumstances say, 'I'll be right back.' Because you won't be back.

Stuart says: I'm getting another beer, you want one?

Randy Meeks says: Yeah, sure.

Stuart says: I'll be RIIIIIGGGGHHHHT BAAAAAACK!

Randy Meeks says: See, you push the laws and you end up dead. Okay, I'll see you in the kitchen with a knife.

Randy Meeks says: There's always some stupid bullsh*t reason to kill your girlfriend. That's the beauty of it all! Simplicity! Besides, if it gets too complicated, you lose your target audience.

Randy Meeks says: It's the millennium. Motives are incidental.

Sidney Prescott says: Oh, my God. Randy I thought you were dead.

Randy Meeks says: I probably should be. I never thought I'd be so happy to be a virgin.

Randy Meeks says: Now that Billy tried to mutilate her, do you think Sid would go out with me?

Stuart says: HA-HA! No...I don't...at all!

Stuart says: HA-HA! No. I don't, at all!

Randy Meeks says: Look, here comes the obligatory tit shot.

Stuart says: As if. That's all I'm saying...as if.

Stuart says: As if. That's all I'm saying, as if.

Randy Meeks says: Oh, really, Alicia?

Randy Meeks says: If you were the only suspect in a senseless bloodbath - would you be standing in the horror section?

Randy Meeks says: If you were the only suspect in a senseless bloodbath, would you be standing in the horror section?

Randy Meeks says: (to Stu; about Billy) - What's Leatherface doing here?

Randy Meeks says: (to Stu; about Billy) What's Leatherface doing here?

Stuart says: So what are you saying is...that I killed her?

Stuart says: So what are you saying is, that I killed her?

Randy Meeks says: It certainly would improve your high school "Q"

Randy Meeks says: It certainly would improve your high school 'Q'.

Tatum Riley says: Stu was with me last night, okay?

Stuart says: Yeah, I was.

Randy Meeks says: Was that before or after he sliced and diced?!

Stuart says: I wanna see breasts. I wanna see Jamie Lee's breasts. When do we see Jamie Lee's breasts?

Randy Meeks says: Breasts? Not until "Trading Places" in '83. Jamie Lee was always a virgin in horror movies. She didn't show her tits 'til she went legits.

Randy Meeks says: Breasts? Not until 'Trading Places' in '83. Jamie Lee was always a virgin in horror movies. She didn't show her tits 'til she went legits.

Randy Meeks says: Listen up. They found Principal Himbry dead. He was gutted and hung from the goal post on the football field. (Drunk Teen: Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go over there before they pry him down!)

Randy Meeks says: Listen up. They found Principal Himbry dead. He was gutted and hung from the goal post on the football field.

Randy Meeks says: Never, ever, ever, under any circunstances say : "I'll be right back"; 'cause you won't be back.

Randy Meeks says: Never, ever, ever, under any circunstances say, 'I'll be right back', cause you won't be back.

Stuart says: I'm getting another beer; you want one ?

Stuart says: I'm getting another beer, you want one ?

Randy Meeks says: Yeah sure.

Stuart says: I'll be right back !!!

Stuart says: I'll be right back!