John Goodman

John Goodman

Highest Rated: 100% The Sweatbox (2002)

Lowest Rated: 0% Kronk's New Groove (2005)

Birthday: Jun 20, 1952

Birthplace: St. Louis, Missouri, USA

With a talent as large as his girth, John Goodman proved himself both a distinguished character actor and engaging leading man. A native of St. Louis, MO, Goodman went to Southwest Missouri State University on a football scholarship, but an injury compelled him to seek out a less strenuous major. He chose the university Drama Department, attending classes with such stars-to-be as Tess Harper and Kathleen Turner. Moving to New York in 1975, he supported himself by performing in children's and dinner theater, appearing in television commercials, and working as a bouncer. Goodman made his off-Broadway debut in a 1978 staging of A Midsummer Night's Dream, and, a year later, graduated to Broadway in Loose Ends. His best Broadway showing was as the drunken, brutish Pap in Big River, Roger Miller's 1985 musical adaptation of Huckleberry Finn. Goodman has occasionally played out and out villains or louts (The Big Easy, Barton Fink), but his essential likeability endeared him to audiences even when his onscreen behavior was at its least sympathetic. He contributed topnotch supporting appearances to such films as Everybody's All-American (1988), Sea of Love (1989), Stella (1989), and Arachnophobia (1990), and starred in such films as King Ralph (1991), The Babe (1992, as Babe Ruth), Born Yesterday (1993), and The Flintstones (1994, as Fred Flintstone). Goodman did some of his best work in Matinee (1992), in which he starred as William Castle-esque horror flick entrepreneur Lawrence Woolsey, and topped himself in The Big Lebowski (1998), playing a quirky security-store owner. He was seen the following year with Nicolas Cage and Ving Rhames in Martin Scorsese's Bringing out the Dead as an ambulance driver.Between 1988 and 1996, Goodman appeared as blue-collar patriarch Dan Conner on the hit TV sitcom Roseanne, a role that earned him four Emmy nominations and a Golden Globe award; his additional TV credits included two 1995 made-for-cable movies: the title role in Kingfish: A Story of Huey P. Long and Mitch in A Streetcar Named Desire, for which he earned another Emmy nomination. Announcing that the 1996-1997 season of Roseanne would be his last, Goodman limited himself to infrequent appearances on the series, his absences explained away as a by-product of a heart attack suffered by his character at the end of the previous season.After making his 10th appearance on Saturday Night Live (2000), Goodman could be seen playing a red-faced bible salesman in director Joel Coen's award winning O Brother, Where Art Thou (2000), and participated in Garry Shandling's film debut What Planet Are You From? (2000). He could be spotted playing an Oklahoma cop in The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle (2000), while Coyote Ugly (2000) and Storytelling (2001) found Goodman stepping back into the role of over-protective father. Interestingly enough, he donned hippie-gear to play a goth-chick's Leelee Sobieski dad in 2001's My First Mister. Though Goodman's status as an amiable big guy was well established by the early 2000's, he didn't actually appear on-screen for two of his most beloved roles. In The Emperor's New Groove (2000), Goodman lent his vocal talents for the part of Pacha, a poor farmer who taught a spoiled prince (David Spade) some valuable lessons about life, love, and the meaning of societal standing. Any film-going youngster will recognize Goodman's voice as Monsters, Inc.'s kind-hearted Sully, the furry blue monster who risked life and limb to return a little girl to her home; and who other than Goodman would have been appropriate to voice the part of Baloo, The Jungle Book 2's (2003) freewheeling bear? 2001's ill received One Night at McCool's features Goodman as one of three men lusting after Liv Tyler's character, while 2002's Dirty Deeds took John to Australia, where he played an American mafia-goon thoroughly ill suited to the intricacies of culture down under. Though 2003's Masked and Anonymous was skewered by fans and critics alike, it

Photos

Highest Rated Movies

Filmography

Movies

Credit
44% Captive State Actor 2019
79% Atomic Blonde CIA Agent $51.6M 2017
15% Transformers: The Last Knight Hound $130.2M 2017
19% Once Upon a Time in Venice Actor 2017
75% Kong: Skull Island Bill Randa $168M 2017
No Score Yet Bunyan and Babe Paul Bunyan 2017
80% Patriots Day Ed Davis $31.9M 2017
21% Ratchet & Clank Grimroth 2016
90% 10 Cloverfield Lane Howard Stambler $59.5M 2016
18% Love the Coopers Sam 2015
74% Trumbo Frank King 2015
No Score Yet Curious George 3: Back to the Jungle Houston 2015
52% Live From New York! Actor 2015
43% The Gambler Frank $18.9M 2014
18% Transformers: Age of Extinction Hound $206.8M 2014
31% The Monuments Men Walter Garfield $67.3M 2014
No Score Yet Party Central Sullivan 2014
No Score Yet Another Day, Another Time: Celebrating the Music of Inside Llewyn Davis Actor 2013
92% Inside Llewyn Davis Roland Turner $9.7M 2013
80% Monsters University Sullivan $260.4M 2013
20% The Hangover Part III Marshall $112.3M 2013
77% Flight Harling Mays $89.5M 2012
96% Argo John Chambers $136.1M 2012
51% Trouble with the Curve Pete Klein $35.8M 2012
88% ParaNorman Mr. Prenderghast $56M 2012
23% Drunkboat Mr. Fletcher 2012
46% Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close Stan the Doorman $31.9M 2012
No Score Yet It's a SpongeBob Christmas! Actor 2012
95% The Artist Al Zimmer $44.7M 2011
60% Red State Joseph Keenan $1.1M 2011
No Score Yet Alabama Moon Mr. Wellington 2011
No Score Yet Ole War Skule: The Story of Saturday Night Narrator 2011
No Score Yet For Love of Liberty Actor 2010
No Score Yet For Love of Liberty: The Story of America's Black Patriots Actor 2010
91% You Don't Know Jack Neal Nicol 2010
85% The Princess and the Frog ''Big Daddy" La Bouff $104.4M 2009
No Score Yet Pope Joan Pope Sergius 2009
36% Gigantic Al Lolly 2009
58% In the Electric Mist "Baby Feet" Balboni 2009
25% Confessions of a Shopaholic Graham $44.3M 2009
No Score Yet Spring Break '83 Actor 2009
40% Speed Racer Pops $44M 2008
50% Bee Movie Layton T. Montgomery $126.6M 2007
21% Death Sentence Bones Darley $9.5M 2007
32% Freshman Orientation Rodney 2007
23% Evan Almighty Congressman Long $100.3M 2007
No Score Yet The Year Without a Santa Claus Santa Claus 2006
No Score Yet Tales of the Rat Fink Ed `Big Daddy' Roth 2006
75% Cars Sullivan Truck $244.1M 2006
22% Marilyn Hotchkiss Ballroom Dancing & Charm School Steve Mills $0.2M 2006
No Score Yet Carnaval Actor 2006
0% Kronk's New Groove Pacha 2005
42% Beyond the Sea Steve Blauner $6.2M 2004
53% Clifford's Really Big Movie George Wolfsbottom $2.8M 2004
25% Masked and Anonymous Uncle Sweetheart $0.2M 2003
19% The Jungle Book 2 Baloo $47.9M 2003
No Score Yet Mike's New Car Sulley 2002
52% My First Mister Benjamin 2002
53% Storytelling Marty Livingston $0.9M 2002
100% The Sweatbox Actor 2002
No Score Yet Fighting for Freedom: Revolution & Civil War Narrator 2002
64% Negocios Sucios Tony Testano 2002
96% Monsters, Inc. James P. Sullivan "Sully" $34.1M 2001
No Score Yet On the Edge The Dean 2001
33% One Night at McCool's Det. Dehling $5.7M 2001
No Score Yet When Dinosaurs Roamed America Actor 2001
No Score Yet When Dinosaurs Roamed America Narrator 2001
77% O Brother, Where Art Thou? Big Dan Teague $45.2M 2000
85% The Emperor's New Groove Pacha $87.4M 2000
23% Coyote Ugly William Sanford 2000
43% The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle Oklahoma Cop $0.5M 2000
42% What Planet Are You From? Roland Jones 2000
72% Bringing Out the Dead Larry 1999
80% The Jack Bull Judge Tolliver 1999
No Score Yet The Runner Deep Throat 1999
40% Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: The Movie Santa Claus 1998
No Score Yet The Real Macaw Actor 1998
17% Dirty Work Mayor Adrian Riggins (uncredited) 1998
No Score Yet Double Date Night: The Big Lebowski Actor 1998
82% The Big Lebowski Walter Sobchak 1998
73% The Borrowers Ocious P. Potter 1998
46% Blues Brothers 2000 Mighty Mack McTeer 1997
40% Fallen Jonesy 1997
63% Mother Night Frank Wirtanen 1996
No Score Yet Pie in the Sky Alan 1996
No Score Yet Kingfish: A Story of Huey P. Long Huey P. Long Producer 1995
No Score Yet A Streetcar Named Desire Mitch 1995
22% The Flintstones Fred Flintstone 1994
24% Born Yesterday Harry Brock 1993
38% We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story Rex 1993
No Score Yet Frosty Returns Frosty 1992
94% Matinee Lawrence Woolsey 1992
46% The Babe George Herman `Babe' Ruth 1992
90% Barton Fink Charlie Meadows 1991
20% King Ralph Ralph 1991
92% Arachnophobia Delbert McClintock 1990
20% Stella Ed Munn 1990
67% Always Al Yackey 1989
79% Sea of Love Det. Sherman 1989
42% Everybody's All-American Edward Lawrence 1988
56% Punchline John 1988
No Score Yet The Wrong Guys Duke Earl 1988
89% The Big Easy Detective DeSoto 1987
27% Burglar Detective Nyswander 1987
91% Raising Arizona Gale 1987
No Score Yet Murder Ordained Actor 1987
76% True Stories Louis Fyne 1986
90% Sweet Dreams Otis 1985
No Score Yet Maria's Lovers Frank 1984
29% C.H.U.D. (Chud) Cops in Diner 1984
70% Revenge of the Nerds Coach Harris 1984
9% The Survivors Commando 1983
No Score Yet Eddie Macon's Run Hebert 1983
No Score Yet Chiefs Newt "Tub" Murray 1983

TV

Credit
89% The Conners
2018
Dan Conner 2020
2019
2018
76% Roseanne
1988-2018
Dan Conner 2020
2019
2018
1997
1996
1995
1994
1993
1992
1991
1990
1989
1988
79% Black Earth Rising
2018
Michael Ennis 2019
75% The Righteous Gemstones
2019
Eli Gemstone 2019
No Score Yet The Talk
2010
Guest 2019
2018
2017
No Score Yet The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
2015
Guest 2019
2016
No Score Yet Late Night With Seth Meyers
2014
Guest 2019
2018
2016
2015
2014
No Score Yet The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
2014
Guest 2018
2016
No Score Yet The View
1997
Guest 2018
2016
2013
No Score Yet Jimmy Kimmel Live
2003
Guest 2018
2014
2012
2010
No Score Yet The Late Late Show With James Corden
2015-2019
Guest 2017
2016
No Score Yet Charlie Rose
2013-2017
Guest 2016
2014
61% Dancing on the Edge
2013
Masterson 2016
2013
79% Alpha House
2013-2014
Senator Gil John Biggs 2014
2013
No Score Yet Alpha House #DEL
2013-2014
Gil John Biggs 2014
2013
No Score Yet The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson
2005-2014
Guest 2014
2012
No Score Yet The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
1999-2015
Guest 2013
No Score Yet CBS This Morning
2012
Guest 2013
2012
No Score Yet Late Show With David Letterman
1993-2015
Guest 2013
2012
No Score Yet Late Night With Jimmy Fallon
2009-2014
Guest 2013
2012
2010
No Score Yet Saturday Night Live
1975
Guest Host 2013
2001
2000
1999
1998
1997
1996
1995
1994
1993
1992
1990
1989
No Score Yet SpongeBob SquarePants
1999
Voice 2012
88% Community
2009-2015
Vice Dean Laybourne 2012
2011
No Score Yet Sunday Morning
2011-2018
Appearing 2012
2011
91% Damages
2007-2012
Howard T. Erickson 2012
2011
2009
96% Treme
2010-2013
Creighton Bernette 2011
2010
No Score Yet Tavis Smiley Reports
2010-2013
Appearing 2010
No Score Yet King of the Hill
1997-2010
Voice 2007
74% Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
2006-2007
Robert Bebe 2006
0% Center of the Universe
2004-2005
John Barnett 2005
2004
30% Father of the Pride
2004
Voice 2004
75% The West Wing
1999-2006
Glenallen Westin Glenallen Walken 2004
2003
No Score Yet Ed
2000-2004
Big Rudy 2001
16% Normal, Ohio
2000
Butch 2000
100% Now and Again
1999-2000
Michael Wiseman (pilot only) Michael Wiseman 2000
1999
95% Futurama
1999-2013
Voice 1999
85% The Simpsons
1989
Voice 1999
97% Moonlighting
1985-1989
Donald Chase 1987
No Score Yet The Equalizer
1985-1989
Winter 1987
No Score Yet Treme
Creighton Bernette

QUOTES FROM John Goodman CHARACTERS

Grimrith says: I heard you! Do you see these ears?

Howard Stambler says: I can go everywhere ,I'm always Watching you...

Howard Stambler says: I can go everywhere, I'm always watching you...

Michelle says: Santa claus!

Michelle says: Santa Claus!

Howard Stambler says: I focused on being prepared.

Howard Stambler says: I accept your apology.

Howard Stambler says: Crazy is building the ark after the flood has already come.

Howard Stambler says: I am keeping you alive

Howard Stambler says: I am keeping you alive.

Howard Stambler says: "Something's coming"

Howard Stambler says: Something's coming.

Howard Stambler says: There's no place like home

Howard Stambler says: There's no place like home.

Walter Sobchak says: The chinaman is not the issue here... also dude, Asian American please

Walter Sobchak says: The chinaman is not the issue here... also dude, Asian American please

Walter Sobchak says: The chinaman is not the issue here... also dude, Asian American please.

Walter Garfield says: The army may not care about art, but they sure as shit care about gold.

Charlie Meadows says: Oh yeah, Barton, your folks? Nice people.

Hound says: Hell yea! He back! He Alive! Optimus is Here!

Hound says: Hound: Hey guys, look! I'm a fat ballerina taking names and slitting throats!

Hound says: We got the gang back together.

Big Dan Teague says: So long, boys. See you in the funny papers.

Ralph says: There's no problem that can't be ignored if we really put our minds to it.

Fred Flintstone says: Hey, Barn. Could you spare me a couple of bucks? because I'm a little short.

Barney Rubble says: Here you go, Fred. Nothing's changed.

Fred Flintstone says: My wife is the most beautiful gal in Bedrock.

Dictabird says: My wife is the most beautiful gal in Bedrock.

Wilma Flintstone says: Nice try, Fred.

Dictabird says: Nice try, Fred.

Miss Stone says: Will there be anything else, Mr. Flintstone?

Fred Flintstone says: No, Miss Stone. take the rest of the day off.

Llewyn Davis says: Hey, Mr. Turner, I'm wondering.

Roland Turner says: Huh?

Llewyn Davis says: Would that cane fit all the way up your ass or would a little bit stay sticking out?

Walter Sobchak says: Shut the fuck up, Donny!

Donny says: Shut the fuck up, Donny!

Walter Sobchak says: Shut the fuck up, Donny!

Walter Sobchak says: Is this your homework, Larry?

Uncle Sweetheart says: Are you aware gentlemen, that this is all a play?

Dean Hardscrabble says: Mr. Sullivan, I am a 7 year-old girl...

Sullivan says: (roars)

Dean Hardscrabble says: I wasn't finished. I you were to know that that 7 year-old was afraid of snakes, a mere roar would not make her scream, it would make her cry, thus alerting her parents of the existence of our world, which would lead to utter destruction. And we wouldn't want that, would we Mr. Sullivan? I thereby suggest that you would not continue with us in the Scaring Program.

Sullivan says: But, I'm a Sullivan.

Dean Hardscrabble says: Well, then I'm sure your family would be very disappointed.

Dean Hardscrabble says: You did what?!

Sullivan says: Mike had nothing to do with it, it's just...I cheated.

Dean Hardscrabble says: I want you off this campus by tomorrow morning!

Sullivan says: Yes, ma'am.

Dean Hardscrabble says: You are a DISGRACE to this university, and to your family!

Terri says: He's like a mountain! with fur!

Terri says: He's like a mountain! With fur!

Sullivan says: Oh come on, I don't even work out.

James P. Sullivan "Sully" says: She can't stay in here. This is the men's room.

Mike Wazowski says: ...That is the weirdest thing you've ever said.

Mike Wazowski says: That is the weirdest thing you've ever said.

Sullivan says: Your not even in the same league as me

Sullivan says: You're not even in the same league as me.

Sullivan says: Your not even in the same league as me!

Louis Fyne says: I like sad songs, they make me wanna lie on the floor.

Harling Mays says: My work here is finished. See you on the dark side of the moon.

Mike Wazowski says: My hat!

James P. Sullivan "Sully" says: My pig!

Walter Sobchak says: Am I the only one who gives a shit about the rules?!

Walter Sobchak says: Am I the only one who gives a shit about the rules?

Walter Sobchak says: Am I wrong?

The Dude says: No.

Walter Sobchak says: Am I wrong?

The Dude says: No, you're not wrong Walter, you're just an ass-hole.

The Dude says: No, you're not wrong Walter, you're just an asshole.

Walter Sobchak says: Okay then.

The Dude says: Yeah man. it really tied the room together.

Donny says: what tied the room together dude?

Donny says: What tied the room together dude?

The Dude says: My rug.

Walter Sobchak says: were you listening to the dude's story donny? were you listening to the dude's story?

Walter Sobchak says: Were you listening to the Dude's story, Donny?

Donny says: I was bowling.

Walter Sobchak says: So then you have no frame f reference here Donny, you're like a child who wonders in the middle of movie.

Walter Sobchak says: So then you have no frame of reference here, Donny, You're like a child who wonders in the middle of movie.

The Dude says: She probably kidnapped herself.

Donny says: What do you mean dude?

The Dude says: Rug Peers did not do this. look at it. A young trophy wife, marries this guy for his money, she figures he hasn't given her enough, she owes money all over town,

Walter Sobchak says: That fuckin bitch.

Walter Sobchak says: Forget it, Donny, you're out of your element!

Walter Sobchak says: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.

The Dude says: Yeah, but Walter...

The Dude says: Yeah, but Walter.

Walter Sobchak says: Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish.

Walter Sobchak says: Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon with nail polish.

John Chambers says: We did it!

Walter Sobchak says: Calmer then you are.

Walter Sobchak says: You are entering a world of pain

John Chambers says: How about the horses of Achilles?

Lester Siegel says: No good. Nobody does Westerns anymore.

John Chambers says: It's ancient Troy.

Lester Siegel says: If it got horses in it, it's a Western.

Mr. Prenderghast says: Tell me you'll do this.

Norman Babcock says: I... I...

Norman Babcock says: I. I.

Mr. Prenderghast says: Swear!

Norman Babcock says: You mean the F word?

Mr. Prenderghast says: I mean, promise!

James P. Sullivan "Sully" says: Hehehe, that was awesome!

Lester Siegel says: Argo Fuck Yourself

John Chambers says: Argo Fuck Yourself

Tony Mendez says: Argo Fuck Yourself

James P. Sullivan "Sully" says: You know, I don't think she's all that dangerous.

Mike Wazowski says: Yeah, we can keep her. I've always wanted a pet.... THAT COULD KILL ME!

Mike Wazowski says: Yeah, we can keep her. I've always wanted a pet that could kill me!

Walter Sobchak says: Has the whole world gone crazy?!!

Walter Sobchak says: Has the whole world gone crazy!

Walter Sobchak says: Calm down your being very undude.

Walter Sobchak says: Shut the fuck up, Donny!

John Chambers says: You need somebody who's a somebody to put their name on it. Somebody respectable. With credits. Who you can trust with classified information. Who will produce a fake movie. For free.

Donny says: Are these the Nazis ,Walter ?

Donny says: Are these the Nazis, Walter ?

Walter Sobchak says: No Donny , these men are nihilists. There's nothing to be afraid of.

Walter Sobchak says: No Donny, these men are nihilists. There's nothing to be afraid of.

Walter Sobchak says: Well, it was parked in the handicapped zone. Perhaps they towed it.

Steve Mills says: Swearing and making girls cry was the most important thing.

Mike Wazowski says: Whew! You got any deoderant I can borrow?

Mike Wazowski says: Whew! You got any deodorant I can borrow?

Mike Wazowski says: Whew! You got any odorant I can borrow?

James P. Sullivan "Sully" says: Yeah. I've got "Smelly Garbage" and "Old Dumpster".

James P. Sullivan "Sully" says: Yeah. I've got 'Smelly Garbage' and 'Old Dumpster'.

Tony Mendez says: Worst place you can think of.

John Chambers says: Universal Studio.

Tony Mendez says: You really know Warren Beatty?

John Chambers says: Yes, I do. I took a leak next to him at a Golden Globes party once.

Tony Mendez says: You really know Warren Beatty?

John Chambers says: Yes, I do. I took a leak next to him at a Golden Globes party once.

John Chambers says: Look, if you're going to do this, you're going to do this... You can't build cover stories around a movie that doesn't exist. You need a script, you need a producer.

Walter Sobchak says: Have you ever of Vietnam? You're about to enter a world of pain!

Steve Blauner says: I sure am getting fat.

Donny says: What's a pederast, Walter?

Walter Sobchak says: Shut the fuck up, Donny.

James P. Sullivan "Sully" says: Ready or not, here I come!

Harling Mays says: I need that table cleaned off and put in front of him, a credit card, a hundred dollar bill and a glass of water.

Charlie Anderson says: I got a twenty?

Charlie Anderson says: That'll do.

Harling Mays says: That'll do.

Mr. Prenderghast says: Not yet...(laughing) not yet!!!!

Mr. Prenderghast says: Not yet... [laughing] Not yet!

John Chambers says: You need someone you can trust. Someone you can share classified information with. Maybe with someone who's helping you make a fake movie. For free.

Whip Whitaker says: God help me!

Whip Whitaker says: God help me.

Harling Mays says: Get me a cocoa puff

Larry says: [to Frank] What you gettin'?

Frank Pierce says: I'm not hungry.

Larry says: Oh yeah, you don't eat food.

Frank Pierce says: I eat, I just haven't had coffee yet.

Larry says: Coffee and whiskey, lucky you ain't dead with that diet.

Walter Sobchak says: Goodnight, sweet prince.

John Chambers says: "John Wayne's in the ground for 6 months and this is what's left of America"

John Chambers says: John Wayne's in the ground for 6 months and this is what's left of America.

John Chambers says: Target audience will hate it.

Tony Mendez says: Who's the target audience?

John Chambers says: People with eyes.

John Chambers says: How about 'The Horses of Achilles'?

Lester Siegel says: No good. Nobody does Westerns anymore.

John Chambers says: It's ancient Troy.

Lester Siegel says: If it's got horses in it, it's a Western.

Walter Sobchak says: 3000 years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax, you're goddamned right I'm livin in the fuckin past!

Walter Sobchak says: Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax. You're goddamn right I'm living in the fucking past!

John Chambers says: So you want to come to Hollywood and and act like a big shot without actually doing anything?

Tony Mendez says: Yeah.

John Chambers says: You'll fit right in.

Walter Sobchak says: I mean, say what you want about the tenants of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

Walter Sobchak says: I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

Pete Klein says: Gus, you home?

Gus Lobel says: No.

Pete Klein says: I guess that means I can come in.

Mr. Prenderghast says: Swear!

Norman Babcock says: ..You mean like the F-word?

Norman Babcock says: You mean like the F-word?

Walter Sobchak says: Shut the F**k up, Donny!

Walter Sobchak says: Shut the f**k up, Donny!

Mr. Prenderghast says: I was askin' him!

"Big Daddy" La Bouff says: Are you ready?!

Dr. Facilier says: Are you ready?!

Walter Sobchak says: You want a toe? I can get ya a toe. Believe me there are ways dude, you don't even wanna know about em believe me. Hell I can get ya a toe by three o'clock this afternoon, with nail polish.

Pacha says: Uh-oh

Pacha says: Uh-oh.

Kuzko says: Don't tell me. We're about to go over a huge waterfall

Kuzko says: Don't tell me. We're about to go over a huge waterfall.

Pacha says: Yep

Pacha says: Yep.

Kuzko says: Sharp rocks at the bottom?

Pacha says: Most likely

Pacha says: Most likely.

Kuzko says: Bring it on

Kuzko says: Bring it on.

ASAC Brooks says: How much you think a cross like that costs?

Joseph Keenan says: You mean in dollars or common sense?

ASAC Brooks says: Oh, zing!

Walter Sobchak says: You can say what you want about the tenets of national socialism but at least it's an ethos.

Walter Sobchak says: Fucking Germans. Nothing changes. Fucking Nazis.

Donny says: They were Nazis, Dude?

Walter Sobchak says: Oh, come on Donny, they were threatening castration! Are we gonna split hairs here? Am I wrong?

Walter Sobchak says: [pulls out a gun] Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.

Walter Sobchak says: This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!

Walter Sobchak says: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.

The Dude says: Yeah, but Walter...

Walter Sobchak says: Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish. These fucking amateurs...

James P. Sullivan "Sully" says: I love college!

Walter Sobchak says: You see what happens larry when you fuck a stranger in the ass.

Walter Sobchak says: Shut the fuck up, Donny

Walter Sobchak says: Fuck it dude, lets go bowling.

Donny says: I am a walrus

Donny says: I am a walrus.

Walter Sobchak says: Shut the FUCK up Donny!

Charlie Meadows says: Look upon me, I'll show you the life of the mind!

Walter Sobchak says: The ringer cannot look empty.

Walter Sobchak says: Has the whole world gone CRAZY? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? You think I'm fuckin' around, MARK IT ZERO!!!

Walter Sobchak says: Has the whole world gone CRAZY? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? You think I'm fuckin' around, MARK IT ZERO!

Walter Sobchak says: "Have you ever heard of Vietnam Larry?

Walter Sobchak says: Have you ever heard of Vietnam Larry?

Walter Sobchak says: Look, Larry. Have you ever heard of Vietnam?

Walter Sobchak says: Son, this is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!

Walter Sobchak says: Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one who cares about the rules?