Kurt Russell

Like I said, friend, you got me at a bit of a disadvantage!

Keeping you at a disadvantage is an advantage I intend to keep.

Yeah, Warren, that's the problem with old men. You can kick 'em down the stairs, and say it's an accident, but you can't just shoot 'em.

John Ruth!

Yeah?

Can I play that guitar over there ?

Yeah. You come back with anything else but a guitar, my pistol plays a tune; Domergue's Death March. You got it?

Yeah-yeah-yeah. I got it.

That's the trouble with old people. You can push them down the stairs and pretend it's an accident, but you just can't shoot 'em.

Well, like I said friend, you got me at a bit of a disadvantage.

Keeping you at a disadvantage is an advantage I intend to keep.

You only need to hang mean bastards, but Mean Bastards, you-need-to-hang!

Well, like I said friend, you got me at a bit of a disadvantage.

Keeping you at a disadvantage is an advantage I intend to keep.

Nobody said the job was gonna be easy

Nobody said it was that hard either!

Now Daisy, I want us to work out a..signal system of communication. When I elbow you real hard in the face; that means SHUT UP!

Now Daisy, I want us to work out a..signal system of communication. When I elbow you real hard in the face; that means shut up!

No offense, cowboy-fella, just gettin' your attention.

Yeah well, you got it.

Whatchyu writin' friend?

The only thing I'm qualified to write about.

What's that?

My life story.

You're writing your life story..?

You bet I am.

Am I init?

....you just entered it.

One of them fellas, is NOT what he-says-he-is.

What is he?

He's in cahoots with this one, that's what he is. One of them.. or maybe even two of them is here to see Domergue goes free.

Are you sure you ain't just being paranoid?

Our best bet is this duplicitous fella ain't as cool a customer as Daisy here. He won't have the leather patience it takes to just sit here and wait. If he can't handle it, he'll stop waiting. He'll try and create his opportunity.. And that's when Mr.Jumpy reveals hisself!

What do you got to say about all this?

What do I got to say? About John Ruth's ravings? He's ABSOLUTELY right! Me and one of them fellas is in cahoots! And we're just waitin' for everybody to go to sleep; that's when we gonna kill y'all.

This here is Daisy Domergue. She's wanted dead or alive for murder, so when that sun comes out, I'm taking this woman to hell!

One of these men is not what he says he is.

That tea smells gruesome.

That's because it's soup.

Oh! Can I have some?!

Oh! Can I have some?

Say goodbye to my wife. I'll say hello to yours.

If we go into hostile territory, foggy with exhaustion, we won't rescue anyone.

We're making a 5 day journey in 3 days, sleeping the minimum to ride as much as possible.

In civilized towns you look a man direct in the face when you talk to him.

You go, we go!

You people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we're not back by dawn... call the president.

Why don't we just wait here for a little while, see what happens?

I don't know about you, but I have an aversion to getting F.U.B.A.R.

What's fubar?

Fucked-Up Beyond All Recognition.

Do you miss being mayor?

Do you ever win?

She'll never race again?

No, honey. But she might walk again.

(to Pop Crane) How about it, Pop?

How about it, Pop?

(to Palmer) I'll take the six thousand and the horse.

I'll take the six thousand and the horse.

I like him.

Her... I like her too.

You know that you've been promisin' her for months that you would take her to work with you.

And I will. I will, Lil. But not today, honey. I got a big race.

Well, what am I supposed to tell her?

I don't know. You tell her that I was runnin' late, and I just didn't have time to wait for her.

You tell her.

Honey, I'm goin' to work.

What were you doin'? She... she's not a pet, Cale. She's what I do for work now, so you're gonna have to leave her be, alright?

Sorry.

You've ever seen a kid so happy with a horse?

Yeah, I have.

She's gettin' faster and faster.

You're sayin' that she can race?

The alcohol is just a lubricant for the individual for the individual encounters that a bar room offers

The alcohol is just a lubricant for the individual for the individual encounters that a bar room offers.

This is pure nonsense. It doesn't prove a thing.

I thought you'd feel that way, Garry. You were the only one that could've gotten to that blood. We'll do you last.

Slow down! There's boats all over the place!

Don't worry. They'll get out of the way. I learned that driving the Saratoga.

Well, I guess we better send the ol' ball and chain out to buy us more.

Well uh... yeah, there was that time you were working at Burger Boy, and this kid started choking on a French fry, and everybody in the place panicked, including me, except you, you knew exactly what to do. You ran over to the kid and you gave him that Heimlech, you know.

ANNIE GOOLAHEY...where in God's name did I grow up, Dogpatch?

No, not there honey over in Goober, Idaho but it's a nuclear waste dump.

Zippedy Doo-Dah. Zippedy Yay. My, oh my, I got a wonderful slave.

You know what your problem is? You are so goddamn bored, you have to *invent* things to bitch about! You don't have a single thing to do on this earth except for your hair! The closet was fine, you just needed something to fill up your useless, nail-polishing, toe-polishing, rich bitch, sun-tanning days!

Well, the entire civilized world knows that ALL closets are made of CEDAR.

[in a backwoods accent] Well up here in Elk Snout ma'am see we don't know 'bout them closets, nor bathrooms neither. Shit woman, you're lucky I am house broke.

Yeah, well... that's 'cause we used to do it in the closet.

Oh stop with the sex stories.

That's something you like to do, go fishing for oysters at night

Oysters in a cold ocean at night, doesn't sound like me!

Couldn't call it a date really, we just did it in the parking lot of the 7-Eleven

Couldn't call it a date really, we just did it in the parking lot of the 7-Eleven.

You jumped my bones the first night we met!

Billy, there is a God and he loves me!

talking into his tape recorder) - I'm going to hide this tape when I'm finished. If none of us make it, at least there will be some kind of record. The storm's been hitting us hard now for 48 hours. We still have nothing to go on. One other thing: I think it rips through your clothes when it takes you over. Windows found some shredded and bloody long-johns in the trash but the name tag was missing. They could be anybody's. Nobody,nobody trusts anybody now, and we're all very tired. There's nothing more I can do, just wait. This is R.J. MacReady, helicopter pilot, US outpost #31.

[talking into his tape recorder] I'm going to hide this tape when I'm finished. If none of us make it, at least there will be some kind of record. The storm's been hitting us hard now for 48 hours. We still have nothing to go on. One other thing: I think it rips through your clothes when it takes you over. Windows found some shredded and bloody long-johns in the trash but the name tag was missing. They could be anybody's. Nobody,nobody trusts anybody now, and we're all very tired. There's nothing more I can do, just wait. This is R.J. MacReady, helicopter pilot, US outpost #31.

anybody touches me and we go

Anybody touches me, and we go.

We're gonna draw a little bit of everyone's blood, 'cause we're gonna find out who's the Thing. Watching Norris in there gave me the idea that every little part of him was a whole. Every little piece was an individual animal with a built-in desire to protect its own life. You see, when a man bleeds, it's just tissue. But blood from one of you Things won't obey when it's attacked. It'll try and survive. Crawl away from a hot needle, say.

(macready throws dynamite at the thing) yeah fuck you too

[MacReady throws dynamite at the thing] Yeah fuck you too.

[MacReady pours his drink into the computer tower, frying it] Cheating bitch!

When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, looks you crooked in the eye, and asks you if you paid your dues; you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have you paid your dues, Jack? Yes sir, the check is in the mail."

When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, looks you crooked in the eye, and asks you if you paid your dues; you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: 'Have you paid your dues, Jack? Yes sir, the check is in the mail.'

NOOOOOO!!!!

NO!

You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin' and the thunder's rollin' and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right square in the eye and he says, "Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it."

You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin' and the thunder's rollin' and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right square in the eye and he says, 'Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it.'

Well, you see I'm not saying that I've been everywhere and I done everything. But I do know it's a pretty amazing planet we live on here, and a man would have to be some kind of fool to think we're all alone in this universe.

Great moments are born from great opportunity.

When this is over, we have to pay Jabba the Hutt here a visit.

I'll bring the chainsaw.

I'll bring the beer.

They're just playing "Hide the Salami"

They're just playing 'Hide the Salami'.

It's just a squall, they come on ya fast and they leave ya fast.

Welcome to the human race.

This is pure nonsense. Doesn't prove a thing.

I thought you'd feel that way, Garry. You were the only one who could've gotten to that blood. We'll do you last.

Where we going?

Up to my shack.

What the hell for?

'Cuz when I left yesterday I turned the lights off.

There's a storm hitting us in six hours, and we're gonna find out who's who.

It's all in the reflexes.

ladies!!! now that was fun, well see ya!

[catches his breath] Ohhh, ladies that was fun!

Cheatin' bitch.

Poor baby, your startin' to lose it, aren't yah?

Well damn if you ain't so sweet you make salt taste just like sugar.

Well damn if you ain't so sweet you make sugar taste just like salt.

There was an accident. About an hour ago, a small jet went down inside New York City. The President was on board.

The president of what?

[Snake finds a dead thug wearing his stolen jacket] I'll take my coat back now, asshole.

Fuck you, I'm going to Hollywood...

[after the President orders Snake executed] On my command... FIRE! [the soldiers open fire, without effect. Malloy grabs a rifle, walks up to Snake, and swings the butt through his body]

He's not even *here*! He's a hologram!

Catches on quick, doesn't she?

We'd make one hell of a team Snake

We'd make one hell of a team Snake.

It's Plissken

It's Plissken.

The name's Plissken.

You run your mouth awful reckless for a man that don't go heeled.

No need to go heeled to get the bulge on a tub like you.

What's it going to take to convince you? Me in a body bag?!

Sgt. Todd... what's it like? What's it like being a soldier? What do you think about? [silence] You must think about something? [silence] What about feelings then? [silence] You must *feel* something? [pause]

Fear.

Fear?

Fear and discipline.

Now?

Always.

I'm a reasonable guy. But, I've just experienced some very unreasonable things.

Copper, you're my very best friend.

And you're mine too, Tod.

Someone in this camp ain't who what he appears to be.

Someone in this camp ain't what he appears to be.

You tell him I'm comin'....and Hell's comin' with me!

I think that we should heat things up a little.

Ready Jack?

I was born ready! (--- any chance I could become a super reviewer? :) ---)

I was born ready!

Call me Snake.

Yeah, fuck you too!

Swear to God Snake, I thought you were dead...

Yeah, you and everybody else!

You going to kill me, Snake?

Not now, I'm too tired. [pause] Maybe later.

You're a cop!

I'm an asshole...

Remember, once you're inside you're on your own.

Oh, you mean I can't count on you?

No.

Good!

Plissken? Plissken, what are you doing?

Playing with myself! I'm going in.

I'm not a fool, Plissken!

Call me "Snake."

Call me 'Snake.'

handsome, sexy and can probably deliver what most nerds can't!!!

Handsome, sexy and can probably deliver what most nerds can't!

You really wanna save those crazy swedes.

Mac wants a flamethrower!

Half these people came here tonight, Jack, to watch you catch ball. The other half came to see you drop it. You drop that damn thing again, Jack, your life is over.

We're gonna draw a little bit of everyone's blood, 'cause we're gonna find out who's the Thing. Watching Norris in there gave me the idea that every little part of him was a whole. Every little piece was an individual animal with a built-in desire to protect its own life. You see, when a man bleeds, it's just tissue. But blood from one of you Things won't obey when it's attacked. It'll try and survive. Crawl away from a hot needle, say.

[on the phone with Anderson] Ever try to describe a-a smell?

[pauses]...Why?

Ummm......You're going to smell something that's going to test your writing abilities. It has a sweetness to it, and uh,..at the same time it reaches into your body and twists your insides. But the odd thing is that once you smell it, you know exactly what it is, without having to look. 651, Nautilus,...got that?

I'll splatter cherry pie all over the wall behide you.

You see that glow in the corner of your eye. It's your career dissapation light and it's going into overtime.

If anyone's lights are about to go out, believe me they are yours.

[Steven enters after having saved a child from the fire] Man, that was pretty crazy, huh?

I waited. I would've waited.

Come on, don't worry about it.

But you did it man. You did it all the way. You were really a hero.

Brian... its not about being a hero. I went in because there was a kid up there. I do what I do because that's my way. And it was Dad's way. Maybe it's not everybody's way.

I loved it. Refreshing not like the new stuff. Give me the good oldies anytime. New movies Bah!!!

I loved it. Refreshing not like the new stuff. Give me the good oldies anytime. New movies Bah!

Cheers, Butterfly. The woods are lovely, dark, and deep. And I have promises to keep. Miles to go before I sleep. Did you hear me, Butterfly? Miles to go, before you sleep.