Witney Seibold

Witney Seibold
Tomatometer-approved critic

Movie Reviews Only

T-Meter Title | Year
8.8/10 94% Midsommar (2019) Midsommar is an emotionally harrowing and slowly insidious journey, languidly forcing dread on the viewer, wrapping them in a weird nightmare summer camp of sunlight and cheer. - IGN Movies EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 24, 2019
98% Toy Story 4 (2019) "Toy Story 4's" sense of humor has also darkened by a few shades since the last go-round, leading to an overall, and very welcome, oddball sensibility. It's easily the funniest in the series. - Critically Acclaimed EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 14, 2019
67% Godzilla vs. Gigan (1972) The overall tone of Godzilla vs. Gigan skews a little more childish than usual. It has the same sugar-buzz 9-year-old-boy energy that makes the series so appealing, but it seems a little less focused. - Nerdist EDIT
Read More | Posted May 24, 2019
No Score Yet Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla (Gojira tai Mekagojira) (2002) This is the best of the Millennium films, and may be the only one to establish a continuity. - Nerdist EDIT
Read More | Posted May 22, 2019
75% Godzilla and Mothra: The Battle for Earth (Gojira vs. Mosura) (1992) I like Battle for Earth just fine, although it doesn't possess the fun craziness of the previous film. - Nerdist EDIT
Read More | Posted May 22, 2019
56% Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah (Gojira tai Kingu Gidorâ) (1991) Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah is off the hook. This movie has everything your sugar-coated inner child could possibly stand. - Nerdist EDIT
Read More | Posted May 22, 2019
60% Godzilla vs. Megaguirus (2000) By now, the franchise has fully recovered from the American debacle of just two years previous, and feels like a Godzilla film again, no qualifications necessary. - Nerdist EDIT
Read More | Posted May 22, 2019
80% Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S. (2004) Masaaki Tezuka directed this film and the last one, and they are the best in the era. - Nerdist EDIT
Read More | Posted May 22, 2019
7.1/10 57% Brightburn (2019) A wickedly fun little horror flick with enough gore and superhero lore to keep fans of both satisfied. - IGN Movies EDIT
Read More | Posted May 22, 2019
100% Godzilla Vs. Destoroyah (2000) The film has a halcyon quality. It's great. - Nerdist EDIT
Read More | Posted May 21, 2019
56% Godzilla Raids Again (1955) Although it's only been four months since the original, all the somberness is already gone. This is not a serious film, not a tragic one, and not a comment on a bomb. - Nerdist EDIT
Read More | Posted May 21, 2019
93% Godzilla (Gojira) (1956) This is a monster film that more or less launched the entire kaiju genre, but it's also dark, sad, and downright tragic. - Nerdist EDIT
Read More | Posted May 21, 2019
83% Godzilla, King of the Monsters! (1956) The pleasure of watching a Godzilla movie is still intact with this re-cut, but it seems slightly lesser than the original, a little more obvious. - Nerdist EDIT
Read More | Posted May 21, 2019
57% Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster (Ebirah, Horror of the Deep) (1966) Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster is... not so great. It feels small and trifling and, well, a bit dumb. - Nerdist EDIT
Read More | Posted May 21, 2019
71% Godzilla Vs Mechagodzilla (1974) So yeah, Mechagodzilla. Love it. Love it, love it, love it. Mechagodzilla is awesome. Godzilla is awesome. They fight, and it's awesome. - Nerdist EDIT
Read More | Posted May 21, 2019
43% Terror of Mechagodzilla (1975) Terror of Mechagodzilla is pretty wonderful, and is only slightly lesser than its immediate predecessor. - Nerdist EDIT
Read More | Posted May 21, 2019
57% Godzilla vs. Space Godzilla (Gojira vs. Supesugojira) (1994) Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla is fun and crazy, although the battle goes on for perhaps too long. - Nerdist EDIT
Read More | Posted May 21, 2019
71% Godzilla vs. Biollante (1989) Godzilla vs. Biollante is a new generation of Godzilla filmmakers trying to figure things out. They don't know exactly what tone to strike yet, so they're trying out various things. Some of it works, most of it doesn't. - Nerdist EDIT
Read More | Posted May 21, 2019
60% Son of Godzilla (1967) Minilla is a weird, weird addition to the Toho canon. - Nerdist EDIT
Read More | Posted May 21, 2019
83% Godzilla Vs Mechagodzilla II (Gojira VS Mekagojira) (1993) Have I mentioned that Mechagodzilla is the best thing ever? Because he is. - Nerdist EDIT
Read More | Posted May 20, 2019
78% Captain Marvel (2019) Captain Marvel is bright and entertaining on a basic level. But it's also something we may not have seen before: An MCU film that's kind of forgettable. - Critically Acclaimed EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 7, 2019
60% Alita: Battle Angel (2019) Like far too many blockbusters of its ilk, "Alita" is focused on any number of vaguely confusing and uninspired sci-fi subplots, each cribbed from superior films and none brought to a proper conclusion. - Critically Acclaimed EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 15, 2019
No Score Yet Justice League: The New Frontier (2008) The central problem with "Justice League: The New Frontier" is that Bruce Timm's clear, square-jawed animation style doesn't match the tone... Director Bullock, rather than using his film's style as a necessary distancing tool, merely revels in it. - Critically Acclaimed EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 6, 2019
7.8/10 69% Cold Pursuit (2019) As thrillers go, this one is more adult than your average. - IGN Movies EDIT
Read More | Posted Jan 28, 2019
37% Glass (2019) As we so often say with Shyamalan: Maybe next time... - Critically Acclaimed EDIT
Read More | Posted Jan 13, 2019
7.5/10 100% They Shall Not Grow Old (2019) While Peter Jackson's fascinating new technical process brings 100-year-old footage to life in a new way, the tech sometimes gets in the way of the stories being told. - IGN Movies EDIT
Read More | Posted Dec 21, 2018
No Score Yet Pelisky (1999) The cultural shifts of the 1990s seemed to be a global move away from traditions via dismissal and sarcasm rather than active revolution. - Critically Acclaimed EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 10, 2018
40% The Girl in the Spider's Web (2018) New to the series is a sense of stale fatigue. - Critically Acclaimed EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 10, 2018
88% The Visitor (1979) I can't say that the bulk of 1970s psychedelia was necessarily successful - they were big on histrionics but short on actual logic - but one can at least admire them for being willing to tip into the surreal to reach something higher. - Critically Acclaimed EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 8, 2018
7.9/10 98% Can You Ever Forgive Me? (2018) Melissa McCarthy gives one of her best performances in a surprisingly relatable story about a criminal misanthrope with a heart beating deep inside her. - IGN Movies EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 18, 2018
5.9/10 48% Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween (2018) Goosebumps 2 is in far too much of a hurry - and perhaps too eager to be widely accessible - to be actually scary or wholly effective. - IGN Movies EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 11, 2018
8.4/10 93% The Old Man & the Gun (2018) Light on its feet, very laid back, and underlined by retro 1981 style, The Old Man & the Gun uses the biography of a famous bank robber as a casual nod farewell to a great movie star. - IGN Movies EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 28, 2018
6.8/10 66% The House with a Clock in Its Walls (2018) An exciting and scary final act makes up for a middling kid horror fantasy that is marked by a slow start and an inappropriately comedic tone. - IGN Movies EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 19, 2018
100% Level Five (2014) Watching it in the era of Twitter does make "Level Five" feel like a distant lamentation on the failure of technology - indeed of cinema itself. It's a record of the questions we once asked, and how we essentially already lost the fight. - Critically Acclaimed EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 14, 2018
13% Peppermint (2018) There is nothing fresh or flavorful about "Peppermint." It's a rote and predictable revenge thriller with only a few capable action sequences, a few fleeting moments of exhilarating violence, and one pretty great action performance from Garner. - Critically Acclaimed EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 7, 2018
6.5/10 50% Equalizer 2 (2018) Denzel Washington and Antoine Fuqua have created a unique Punisher-with-heart vigilante character that is a pleasant thrill to watch and a modest delight to revisit. - IGN Movies EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 18, 2018
5.2/10 11% Siberia (2018) Constructed as half romance and half crime thriller, Siberia loses focus, and doesn't emerge as a great version of either. - IGN Movies EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 16, 2018
99% Eighth Grade (2018) In a landscape dominated by teen movies that bank so heavily on well-worn archetypes and weepy melodramatic situations, experiencing a film like "Eighth Grade" can feel almost miraculous in how natural it is. - Critically Acclaimed EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 12, 2018
9.7/10 93% Sorry to Bother You (2018) Certainly weird, confrontational, wildly satirical, and certainly unique, Sorry to Bother You is one of the funniest, energetic, and best films of the year. - IGN Movies EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 6, 2018
47% King Kong vs. Godzilla (1963) Even if you didn't grow up with it, there is a lingering spirit of Saturday morning television hanging over it, a weird childhood fantasy realized, something primal about my pop culture associations, even more than with Freddy fighting Jason. - Nerdist EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 26, 2018
7.2/10 63% Sicario: Day of the Soldado (2018) Sicario: Day of the Soldado is a darkly thrilling film with excellent performances, and its gritty, intense action is balanced by heady themes of moral decay, but overall, because of recent political developments, it feels behind the times. - IGN Movies EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 20, 2018
6.1/10 49% Superfly (2018) Superfly features an appealing lead, and captures small tastes of amazing, striking cool, but is also bogged down by plot and characters that reduce an otherwise slick flick into something that is more capable than amazing. - IGN Movies EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 13, 2018
47% Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018) The most aggressively idiotic film in the series to date. - Critically Acclaimed EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 6, 2018
72% The Misandrists (2018) "The Misandrists" is a lesbian hand grenade. It's a raucous clenched fist of queer feminist outrage thrown in the face of anyone who dares to give the patriarchy even the smallest bit of wiggle room. - Critically Acclaimed EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 1, 2018
5.2/10 13% Action Point (2018) Action Point contains some crazy stunts and some funny-ish gross-out humor, but is ultimately a pale echo of the dark destruction Johnny Knoxville became famous for. - IGN Movies EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 1, 2018
6/10 88% American Animals (2018) Although featuring some good acting, and certainly ambitious in its critique of the characters, American Animals is too sleepy to strike a chord. - IGN Movies EDIT
Read More | Posted May 30, 2018
5.8/10 39% Mary Shelley (2018) Mary Shelley's fascinating life story is told to contain a few brief glimpses of modern insight, but ultimately weakens under its over-use of conventional, romantic storytelling tropes. - IGN Movies EDIT
Read More | Posted May 24, 2018
6.5/10 67% Manhunt (2017) The chases and gunfights in Manhunt are impressive and brisk, containing just as much panache as you remember from John Woo films of 20 years ago. - IGN Movies EDIT
Read More | Posted May 10, 2018
2.5/10 27% The Week Of (2018) As usual, Adam Sandler presents a mean-spirited comedy, but an unengaged cast and uninspired writing also make The Week Of a bore. - IGN Movies EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 27, 2018
3/10 No Score Yet Dark Crimes (2018) This common cop-becomes-obsessed dynamic is not new; it can be seen in just about every episode of Law & Order: Criminal Intent. - IGN Movies EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 19, 2018