Jordan Calhoun
Tomatometer-approved critic
Jordan Calhoun is a writer and Editor for Black Nerd Problems. His writing has been published in The Atlantic, Huffington Post, Electric Literature, Vulture, and other publications. He holds a B.A. in Sociology and Criminal Justice, B.S. in Psychology with a minor in Japanese, and an M.P.A. in Public & Nonprofit Management & Policy. He might solve a mystery, or rewrite history. Follow him on Twitter @JordanMCalhoun
Movies reviews only
| Rating | T-Meter | Title | Year | Review |
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The Prom (2020) |
It falls short of what could've been if Emma was more a well-rounded person than the clichéd, bright-eyed, overly optimistic small-town girl. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Dec 26, 2020
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Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) |
Its earnestness is its greatest strength or biggest weakness, depending on what you're looking for in a superhero film. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Dec 15, 2020
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Red, White & Wasted (2019) |
What Red, White and Wasted does well is inch back the curtain to show the beliefs and attitudes where the hobby thrives. And part of what's hopeful for them is terrifying for the rest of us. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Sep 21, 2020
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Yusuf Hawkins: Storm Over Brooklyn (2020) |
These different perspectives paint a vivid picture of the Brooklyn of 30 years ago, not very different from the Brooklyn of today. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Aug 21, 2020
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A Clear Shot (2019) |
A Clear Shot is a clear miss. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Jun 11, 2020
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The Lovebirds (2020) |
Laughs from Rae and Nanjiani's banter and charm are enough to save The Lovebirds from disaster but not enough to make it memorable or worth recommending. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted May 24, 2020
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Blue Story (2019) |
If the theme of Blue Story is the perpetuating and destructive cycle of revenge, it does well in convincing the power of its poison. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted May 20, 2020
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Soundwave (2018) |
Still, I would recommend Soundwave for aspiring filmmakers at least for seeing a low-budget film tackle a high-concept idea without relying on special effects as a smokescreen. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted May 15, 2020
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Vanilla (2019) |
And that's where Vanilla gets interesting, being less of a will-they-or-won't-they question of their relationship, but instead measuring a character's responses (and thus an audience's comfort) with dating a sex worker. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted May 13, 2020
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Valley Girl (2020) |
The result is like chewing Fruit Stripe gum, a feel-good pop nostalgia hit that tastes good for a moment before the sudden questioning of why you bothered. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted May 09, 2020
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Bull (2019) |
The risk to a story like Bull's is the potential pitfall of the endless stories of Black victims shown as admirable by overcoming their victimhood with service. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted May 06, 2020
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The Half of It (2020) |
By its end you will find yourself cheering for friendships more than lovers, not needing a happily-ever-after to feel that love won the day. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted May 06, 2020
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Palindrome (2020) |
While not a gory film, Palindrome is dark and psychologically violent, which you can take as a warning or a seduction. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted May 06, 2020
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A Goofy Movie (1995) |
A Goofy Movie isn't a nerd classic; A Goofy Movie is a Black nerd classic. A Goofy Movie is unequivocally the Blackest Disney movie of all time. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Apr 07, 2020
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The Invisible Man (2020) |
The Invisible Man is a worthy thriller that meets its mandate, painting by the numbers to make a nonetheless fun picture. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Mar 14, 2020
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To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You (2020) |
The conclusion wraps up a bit too quickly and easily to feel earned, but any happily-ever-after is less important than the path of discovery in finding the way there. That path, and this world and its characters, continues to be a great one. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Feb 25, 2020
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Charm City Kings (2020) |
The film asks whether you believe Black boys are often given second chances, and regardless your answer, Charm City Kings presents a charming yet raw setting to help question the context of their decisions. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Feb 25, 2020
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Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020) |
For its ticket price, failed antagonist, and ultimately forgettable emotional arcs, I'd save this one for a plane. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Feb 09, 2020
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Bad Boys for Life (2020) |
Bad Boys for Life isn't thoughtfully written, but for providing a nostalgia-driven laugh at the movies, it doesn't need to be. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Jan 16, 2020
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Jumanji: The Next Level (2019) |
It's silly, bombastic, and best viewed in theaters surrounded by others. Just roll your eyes at the Blaccent, and be glad that this time, thankfully, someone stopped Awkwafina. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Jan 15, 2020
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Cats (2019) |
Seeing Jennifer Hudson's snot continue to glisten over her lips, refusing to be wiped away, made me Google, "Can you lose an Oscar?" - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Jan 15, 2020
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Like a Boss (2020) |
Its runtime is short, coming in at under 90 minutes, but this one feels long. Hopefully it's not long in our memories. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Jan 15, 2020
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Knives Out (2019) |
Solving the mystery is one of the least important matters of Knives Out, not nearly as fun as the ride itself. And there's a lot of fun to be had. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Dec 09, 2019
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Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019) |
To enjoy their inevitable spin-off takes the prerequisite immersion into the Furious universe where little makes sense aside from speed, strength, and sexuality, but also unearned forgiveness of Deckard Shaw as the character who kills fan-favorite Han. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Aug 06, 2019
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Shazam! (2019) |
Shazam! focuses so much effort to being funny that it sacrifices the inspirational part of being a hero. The result is an entertaining comedy and middling superhero movie. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Mar 27, 2019
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Wonder Park (2019) |
Wonder Park is easily enjoyable for the whole family, with a powerful lesson for the youngest to the oldest. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Mar 15, 2019
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Social Animals (2018) |
Social Animals offers us a personal look into the reality of the fantasy if we're bold enough for the task. No matter how you feel, Facebook is betting you play the game...whether you like to or not. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Jan 22, 2019
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Bird Box (2018) |
Films like this work to the extent their characters represent decision-making that stretches the sharpness of the audience (without overdoing it with Macgyver-esque antics) or suffer the opposite problem of insulting them with idiots. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Dec 11, 2018
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The American Meme (2018) |
Whether the crash is worth the ride, though - The American Meme trusts you to find the same answer in all four of its stories. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Nov 28, 2018
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Liyana (2017) |
It's that collective experience that carries the emotional heft of Liyana as she becomes a kaleidoscopic mirror of the storytellers' experiences with challenges that make them unsafe. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Nov 26, 2018
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Instant Family (2018) |
Instant Family operates in a level of self-awareness by discussing the white savior narrative and looking some of its challenges in the eye. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Nov 14, 2018
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Viral Beauty (2017) |
Whether the film is for you depends on your relationship to cringe humor and your familiarity with, and interest in, internet celebrity culture. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Oct 29, 2018
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A Star Is Born (2018) |
Overall, A Star Is Born is melodrama at its best, an emotional manipulation that works even if you're not normally a sucker for that type of thing. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Oct 16, 2018
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Night School (2018) |
Hart and Haddish have comedic chemistry though, easily seen (and laughed at) when the two cap on each other through the first act of Night School, before Teddy embraced hard work under her tutelage. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Oct 16, 2018
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An American in Paris - The Musical (2018) |
An American In Paris captures Paris' transition into joy. That transition, the finding of hope and beauty both from and through art, is one of the most resonant and meaningful themes of the production. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Sep 22, 2018
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Sierra Burgess Is a Loser (2018) |
Sierra Burgess is a Loser will make you wonder whether every girl is made to be a mean one, while you also ask yourself just how deep beauty is to you. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Sep 17, 2018
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The Nun (2018) |
The Nun is a sequence of jump scares that starts strong, but whose horrors rapidly dwindle with each passing encounter. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Sep 10, 2018
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Kin (2018) |
Overall, KIN views like a 2-hour prequel meant to whet your appetite, but instead is a foul-smelling warning to stay away from whatever comes next. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Sep 06, 2018
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To All the Boys I've Loved Before (2018) |
This generation is lucky to have To All the Boys I've Ever Loved Before as the teen romance comedy of their generation. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Aug 20, 2018
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The Meg (2018) |
Watching it is like watching the spectacle of a class clown at their best: you laugh at their jokes, instigate their defiance, and "ooooh" when they get in trouble. The Meg is the class clown of Hollywood. Every shark movie is at this point. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Aug 12, 2018
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Teen Titans GO! to the Movies (2018) |
Teen Titans GO! to the Movies is full of irreverent humor, self-deprecating punchlines, and a silliness that feels reminiscent of when you laughed at Animaniacs as a child. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Jul 29, 2018
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Please Stand By (2017) |
Please Stand By sets you up to fear and cheer for a girl outside her element, and with some suspension of disbelief in its portrayal of autism, is a heart-warming success. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Jul 22, 2018
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Den of Thieves (2018) |
Would I recommend the film? Not for a movie theater price tag. When it arrives on your favorite cable or streaming service though, turn off your brain and indulge guilt-free. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Jul 22, 2018
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Permission (2017) |
Ultimately, under the guise of maturity, Permission turns a promising premise into a juvenile and destructive display of emotionally immature people. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Jul 22, 2018
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Molly's Game (2017) |
Can you root for a woman who despite having most of her advantages given to her, spirals into a world of illegal gambling, drugs, and "destroying lives"? By the end, if your answer is "yes" then Sorkin has expertly done his job. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Jul 22, 2018
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Downsizing (2017) |
Overall, Downsizing feigns at many themes and embraces none, a sampler platter of personal growth, consumerism, climate change, fresh starts, and apocalypse survival. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Jul 22, 2018
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Proud Mary (2018) |
A silly plot made worse in its bizarre exposition, Proud Mary is full of clichés that almost begin to feel deliberate, so hacky that you almost chance to believe the movie is self-aware, a parody of itself. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Jul 22, 2018
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The Post (2017) |
The message was meant to remind us all: the press is meant to "serve the governed, not the governors." And to that end, The Post is wonderfully successful. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Jul 22, 2018
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War for the Planet of the Apes (2017) |
You cannot help but root for Caesar as much as you cannot shake the feeling that in the gamut of life and evolution humans may not deserve to be saved. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Jul 22, 2018
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Murder on the Orient Express (2017) |
With no one to hold onto, Murder on the Orient Express stands as little more than a cliché mystery, and ultimately falls flat. - Black Nerd Problems
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| Posted Jul 22, 2018
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