
Stephen O'Nion
Movies reviews only
Rating | T-Meter | Title | Year | Review |
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The Legend of Hercules (2014) |
Less 300, more 2.99: cheap in every sense of the word but the cost - and all the more glorious because of it. - One Room With A View
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| Posted Jun 17, 2019
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Afternoon Delight (2013) |
A little film with little to say - but what it does, it does with a refreshing conviction and winning performances. - One Room With A View
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| Posted Jun 17, 2019
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Last Love (2013) |
A near-glacial two hours that somehow forgets to explore two of its more interesting characters - an impressive feat considering it only really has three to begin with. - One Room With A View
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| Posted Jun 15, 2019
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3 Days to Kill (2014) |
A McG film... based on a story by Luc Besson. So why isn't it more enjoyable? - One Room With A View
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| Posted Jun 14, 2019
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The Canyons (2013) |
A movie decrying movies, funded and released online, shot and acted like reality TV - maybe its existence says more than its dialogue, but that doesn't make it any more engaging. - One Room With A View
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| Posted Jun 11, 2019
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Therese (2013) |
All filler no thriller; a film which uses its fine cast to meander around tame scenes of lust before pulling back from either sustained darkness or levity... - One Room With A View
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| Posted Jun 11, 2019
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The Last Days on Mars (2013) |
That it never feels like we're actually on the red planet shouldn't matter, but when everything else is so familiar, it's a little disappointing. - One Room With A View
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| Posted Jun 08, 2019
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Frozen (2013) |
There are laughs aplenty, memorable tunes galore, and enough subversions of old tropes to make Frozen fresh. - One Room With A View
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| Posted Jun 08, 2019
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Getaway (2013) |
Like a shark, the film struggles to stay alive when motionless - One Room With A View
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| Posted Jun 08, 2019
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The Class of '92 (2013) |
An easy, enjoyable ninety minutes that features Eric Cantona taking time out from Kronenbourg adverts to unbutton his shirt halfway and muse on Becks et al., providing the "perfect script". - One Room With A View
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| Posted Jun 08, 2019
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Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013) |
More of the same but LOUDER AND BAGGIER. - One Room With A View
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| Posted Jun 08, 2019
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Grudge Match (2013) |
Equivalent to finding an old Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots in the attic, gripping the dust-covered handles and rockin' 'n' sockin' for a whole two hours before re-boxing it up for good. - One Room With A View
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| Posted Jun 08, 2019
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Lone Survivor (2013) |
Lone Survivor resembles an extended recruitment advert for the first half and a snoozily detached war movie for the second - which is fitting because that's what it is. - One Room With A View
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| Posted Jun 08, 2019
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Ride Along (2014) |
If your eardrums can take it, Ride Along is perfectly inoffensive, incredibly unrealistic, adequately paced, completely forgettable, and (somehow) a massive success Stateside. - One Room With A View
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| Posted Jun 08, 2019
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The Book Thief (2013) |
It may span the most significant decades of last century, but The Book Thief pretty much boils down to girl-lives-with-family, girl-learns-to-read - for two hours. - One Room With A View
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| Posted Jun 08, 2019
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Ender's Game (2013) |
A little long, a little questionable, a little baffling, a lot of fun. - One Room With A View
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| Posted Jun 07, 2019
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We're the Millers (2013) |
Cross-country van travelling with a pseudo-family hasn't been this enjoyable since Scooby-Doo. - One Room With A View
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| Posted Jun 04, 2019
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Horns (2013) |
Horns finds its horror in (hyper) reality, and it's all the better for it. - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 31, 2019
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This Is Where I Leave You (2014) |
Though neither as funny nor as moving as it might hope - once you factor out the cloying guitar - This is Where I Leave You skates by on the likeability of its cast. - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 31, 2019
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The Homesman (2014) |
When it works, beautiful and bestial. - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 31, 2019
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The November Man (2014) |
It's rather hard to remember the Man of November: budget-Bourne action, stale plot. - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 30, 2019
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The Expendables 3 (2014) |
Wrinkly Expendables to the wall. - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 25, 2019
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Sex Tape (2014) |
Will they succeed? It doesn't matter. Nothing matters. - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 25, 2019
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Life of Crime (2013) |
With a cast this good, to be this lifeless is criminal. - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 25, 2019
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Think Like a Man Too (2014) |
Still, there exists unmistakable cast chemistry, a few laughs and a solid enough hour. - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 25, 2019
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Honeymoon (2014) |
Eschewing jump-scares and shouty-bang-bang, Honeymoon is successfully gripping as it weaves towards an enigmatic truth. Credit to Leslie and Treadaway for their newlyweds in love, in doubt, in shock, in despair. - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 25, 2019
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Draft Day (2014) |
Though not as incompetent as the majority of its characters for a film that begins with a countdown on "a day where lives are changed and fates are decided", Draft Day presents bafflingly little tension and precious little point. - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 25, 2019
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The Gambler (2014) |
Thanks to the presence of Goodman, Larson and Lange we're presented with a stacked deck, so how come it feels like we spend two hours holding the bridge rules card? - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 17, 2019
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Two Night Stand (2014) |
Director Max Nichols serves up a few laughs but otherwise allows Two Night Stand to inch towards its status as predictable, bland Valentine's fare you might select having exhausted Netflix's other "Quirky Romance" options. - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 16, 2019
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The Wedding Ringer (2015) |
14 years after it was actually written, The Wedding Ringer finally makes it to screen. Was it worth it? Well, no, but... Had it been released all those years ago the story might be different - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 14, 2019
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Wild Card (2015) |
It all feels like a semi-engaging flashback episode of a show about a Las Vegas "bodyguard" ... - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 14, 2019
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The Tale of the Princess Kaguya (2013) |
Occasionally guilty of resting on its beauty in a way its protagonist never does. - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 14, 2019
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Seventh Son (2014) |
It's too often a chore to make out Seventh's beautiful countryside and cast members through the frequent eye rolls that some truly terrible dialogue and a limp love story induces. - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 14, 2019
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Eliza Graves (2014) |
A twisty-turny labyrinth of ideas that always knows the way out (even if we don't), and ensures there is a whole lot of fun in getting there. - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 10, 2019
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The Cobbler (2014) |
A step in the right direction for Sandler, maybe, but this cobbler can't repair the wear and tear from a career of so many missteps. - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 10, 2019
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Everly (2014) |
At times threatening to be the glorious piece of exploitation cinema it occasionally aims for, Everly never really gets a grip on... anything, really. - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 07, 2019
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Pound of Flesh (2015) |
This is a fairly unremarkable film that happens to star Jean-Claude Van Damme. - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 07, 2019
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Comet (2014) |
Comet spends much of its runtime rowing back from an extremely aggravating opening third. With some success. - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 07, 2019
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Maggie (2015) |
A slight affair with little room for meandering, Maggie exists as a squarely predictable character piece with some relatively unpredictable central casting. - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 04, 2019
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Beyond the Reach (2014) |
Douglas's Gordon Wakko wealthy-bastard schtick keeps Beyond The Reach from getting trapped in an all too familiar game of cat-and-mouse. - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 04, 2019
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Good People (2014) |
In its favour, there's a slick appreciation for the locale - refreshingly drab environments and convincing interiors. But when you catch yourself nodding at set-dressing, it speaks volumes about what's happening around it. - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 04, 2019
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Pressure (2015) |
Too baggy for its moments of unease to resonate throughout an already lean runtime, Pressure can't quite rise above the level of mediocrity. At least it tries though. - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 04, 2019
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Barely Lethal (2015) |
Attempts to subvert some of the standard tropes never really come off and it's light on laughs... - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 04, 2019
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The D Train (2015) |
Once it gets going, The D Train escapes its mundane synopsis with some genuine freshness: interesting, odd, entertaining. - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 04, 2019
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McFarland, USA (2015) |
Likely helped by its factual, period grounding the end result is an old-fashioned offering that's authentically rousing. - One Room With A View
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| Posted May 04, 2019
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Outcast (2014) |
A dire exercise in monotony in which Cage's evermore eccentric acting just serves to make the whole thing sadder. - One Room With A View
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| Posted Apr 17, 2019
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The Runner (2015) |
The Runner plods and Nic Cage drawls... - One Room With A View
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| Posted Apr 17, 2019
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Special Correspondents (2016) |
A nonsensical, unbelieveable story is matched only by its crayon-sketched characters before wandering to an end both welcome and rushed. - One Room With A View
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| Posted Apr 03, 2019
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Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (2016) |
No music mockumentary can resist comparison with This Is Spinal Tap (and no review can resist making it) but Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping does a pretty fantastic job of updating the expectations, the personalities and the music to today. - One Room With A View
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| Posted Mar 26, 2019
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