Ninja Assassin Reviews

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November 17, 2011
January 22, 2010
Decent ingredients but, as a whole, this is lacking in choreographic flair and plot substance.
January 22, 2010
A garish and poorly filmed chop-socky frolic that makes about as much sense as an Escher painting viewed through Vaseline-smudged Ray-Bans.
January 22, 2010
Ninja Assassin is final proof that the once innovative Wachowski Brothers have indeed lost their creative mojo.
January 22, 2010
The fight scenes are uninspired and I suspect post-pubescent audiences will be very bored.
January 22, 2010
The fight scenes are mostly great. And Rain, so dashing in Speed Racer, is something to behold. His precisely rippled and defined body is awe-inspiring.
January 22, 2010
It truly wouldn't take much - a minor re-edit, a few arch looks to camera, a wiseacre sidekick named 'Shortballs' - to inch this utterly mystifying throwback into spoof territory.
January 22, 2010
When the slicing and dicing and blood-spurting become as unstoppably frenzied as they do in the course of Ninja Assassin, one's instinct is less to take fright than take 40 winks and hope to wake up when it's all over.
January 22, 2010
Shot like a bad episode of Spooks with its scenes set on random shuffle, the plot of this global pudding is utterly incomprehensible, the dialogue the worst kind of chopsocky silliness.
January 22, 2010
The first time we see heads roll it's entertaining. The second time it's boring. The eighth time...
December 2, 2009
Perhaps such phenomenal slaughter is best left to the imagination.
November 30, 2009
The problem is that the fight sequences -- the only reason anyone sees a movie like this in the first place -- are muddy, chaotic and boring. Even diehard fans of this genre would be well advised to skip this one.
November 27, 2009
Ninja Assassin has little opportunity to fill its action-free beats with dread or tension.
November 25, 2009
This saga, set in Berlin, is more committed to its bloodletting than to any of its characters.
November 25, 2009
A movie that provides plenty of jolts but precious little pleasure.
November 25, 2009
Rain and Harris are decent and there are moments of stylized lunacy that nearly work, but Ninja Assassin is a film that falls apart as soon as you think about any single element of it.
November 25, 2009
This movie knows exactly what it is: Gonzo silliness about bodies turned into human salsa.
November 25, 2009
Shouldn't throwing stars be silent? If they're gonna sound like gunshots, why not just use guns?
November 25, 2009
It's a gorefest, a borefest and a snorefest.
November 25, 2009
Thanks to the movie's dire script, flat performances and excessively slick, tricked-out fight scenes, it gets increasingly hard to care about anything that goes on here, even when it happens to be visible without the use of night-vision goggles.
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