Battleship - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Battleship Reviews

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½ October 8, 2016
Although the mindless action can be somewhat entertaining, "Battleship" has nothing else going for it.

During a seemingly innocent naval competition in the Pacific Ocean, these battleships are met with an alien force that's here to take over earth. Based on the popular board game, sorta, Peter Berg will direct this sci-fi action/adventure flick as they try and defend earth from the seas.

The only reason I own this movie is for those moments when I want to watch something so dumb and mindless that it's somewhat entertaining. If I want to turn off my brain completely and vaguely pay attention to what's happening on screen, I can pop in this film. This film is for those demanding little, in compensation for receiving little, only to be dissapointed that this movie is less than what you even asked for in the first place.

The writing was the biggest flaw in this movie. Granted, there were a COUPLE moments where the screenplay was okay and the comedy was fun, but for the most part, the movie was filled with random one liners, slight racism, stereotypes, stupidity, and lazy dialogue. The screenplay was mostly bad, with a hint of decency. Like I said, it really is okay at times, and even made me chuckle a few times, but it felt like it was written by multiple people, all with different skill levels (*cough, cough* it was).

The overall story was fairly unclear and their was a decent abundance of plot holes. There were a lot of things that lead to the nonexistent story and the lack of ark that we got. What are the aliens doing here? Why do they attack some things and not others (We know why but it's inconsistent)? Why this and why that? The story was convoluted and it was clear that there was no one clear direction in mind.

The cast was also filled with questionable choices. Taylor Kitsch was fine as the lead role, and his character actually had some decent development through the film. Alexander Skarsgard yelled the whole time, making his character unrelatable and unlikable. Rhianna was a very odd choice for a supporting character. Liam Neeson did little to nothing, making his casting choice a wasted opportunity. Brooklyn Decker was fine but her character was almost utterly useless. Tadanobu Asano was a very stereotypical character, and the list goes on and on. No one really impressed me in this movie, either due to lack of quality screenplay or lack of skills.

Michael Bay's fingerprints were printed all over this movie. From the out of place sunset shots, random explosions where they shouldn't be, stereotypes, racism, and over sexualization of woman, he's everywhere. I mean, you have Peter Berg at the helm. Let the man direct! He has plenty of skill and you don't need to come in here and "Bay" it up.

The visuals were pretty solid and at least made the movie worth looking at. From the action scenes to the camerawork, I was pleased with most of the shots and the CGI. It's not the greatest by any means, but it certainly gives the movie something worth talking about.

In the end, by no means is this a quality film and I'll barely remember it in the coming days, or hours, or minutes.
½ September 29, 2016
entertaining fun cheesy popcorn flick. pretty funny with some great action sequences and intense scenes. there were also some creative concepts. but of course it had some bad acting, and some horrible acting by non-actors who were in the movie for some reason. and of course some cheesy dialogue. but you can have some mindless fun with this movie


the creative concept was how they used the buoy to see where the ships were, and kind of made it like the battleship game of somewhat guessing and trying to hit the target.

the black dude with no legs was a real navy vet, not an actor, and you could tell. his role was pretty big and it was brutal. and they also had a bunch of other navy vets in the movie, like it was some kind of advertisement for the navy. that was pretty dumb (2 viewings)
September 21, 2016
Do not agree it was awesome.
September 16, 2016
I don't know why people said this movie sucked...I love this movie. It's entertaining, funny and action packed. I love movies and this is one I watch over and over again. Movies are about escaping the world and getting lost in the fantasy of said film. Movies are not about what's real, they are about being entertained and I thoroughly enjoyed this film. I also tend to like movies that critics dislike.
September 5, 2016
Ridiculous and very flawed, big time misfire
August 30, 2016
It's incredibly stupid. But it is fun to laugh at.
August 28, 2016
Crash, Boom, Bang with aliens AND without any of the fun of Independence Day. A very average action film.
August 14, 2016
My whole family loves this movie! It has action, humor, and emotion. Who cares if it isn't realistic. I get enough reality in my day to day! Also, the respect shown to the veterans and the Mighty Mo make me proud as the wife of a veteran.
August 2, 2016
Lack of logic aside - it rocks!
July 31, 2016
I like it, I mean. It does appeal to me
½ July 25, 2016
No No No No No No No No No No No No, 34% is far too low for me enjoying!
At First I Thought this was directed by Michael Bay but i forgot this was not a film by his, I Keep saying that a famous director directing movies and turning out better than expected, Peter Berg was the director of this movie, What I Really Love about this movie is Taylor Kitsch, Liam Neeson and Rhianna, She's really badass for actress after becoming a singer in the UK, I'm surprising to say that The Effects and Stunts were awesome to watch and one of the best parts of the movie is one character has robot legs!

Score: 8/10
July 22, 2016
With its Transformers-like effects and spirited tone with a little G.I. Joe blending in on those battleships, it's another treat based on a Hasbro product line that's bigger than G.I. Joe and at the same level of the Transformers trilogy, with a respect of the war genre. (A)

(Full review coming soon - with better wording probably)
½ July 9, 2016
I would give it less if I could. Only the cinematic CGI warrants the half star
½ July 3, 2016
I fairly enjoyed this film. Although, I feel like there are areas that it failed to explore, that could have made this plot feel a little less recycled.
½ July 1, 2016
Battleship is amazing and entertaining. This movie reminds me a lot of one of the Transformers movies. This movie is epic and couldn't be more perfect. You are going to want to sea this. I would very much suggest this movie.
½ June 10, 2016
My family and I love the show. The ending is so epic!
June 1, 2016
What happens when you combine plot based on a 1967 board-game with a room full of video-game aficionados and give them a graphics budget that could keep a small country afloat for a year? An undeniably preposterous, unrelentingly anemic and outright absurd David & Goliath sci-fi assault-on-the-senses that coasts through cinemas as mindless mid-season movie fodder.

If imitation really is the sincerest form of flattery, then Michael Bay should feel extremely flattered. The uncanny resemblance B-grade Actor/Director Peter berg's Battleships has to Bay's Transformers is barely short of copyright, or would be if it wasn't so laboriously clunky.

An exercise in lazy filmmaking, every trick in the action book is overworked. A pulsating men-of-mayhem score, clichéd inane narratives, alien invasions, a reckless antihero, jarring jumps from seriousness to comedy, cringe worthy all-American overtones, the silliness that drips from every scene will see this at the podium to receive the 2012 razzie award for worst picture.

At the age of 26, perpetual screw-up Alex (Taylor Kitsch) is the bane of his overly responsible naval officer brother Stone (Alexander Skarsgård). After yet another juvenile display, where Alex attempts to impress the gorgeous hungry girl Sam (Brooklyn Decker) at a bar by breaking into a nearby convenience store to stealing her sustenance of choice a chicken burrito but ends up being tasered twice by police; Stone puts his foot down dragging his petulant brother into the adult world by enlisting him into the US navy.

A rapid ascent to a high-ranking position is little comfort however when Alex is faced with the daunting prospect of approaching Sam's father, Admiral Shane (Liam Neeson) for her hand in marriage. After arriving late, and engaging a personal fistycuffs vendetta with rival Japanese captain Nagata (Tadanobu Asano) at the opening event of the year at the Naval war games, his career and likelihood of gaining acceptance is slim to nil.

The war games; an annual friendly international exercise, are interrupted when an unidentifiable and untraceable by radar object appears in the water. Under threat and unable to contact its home planet, the object attacks anything it believes to be a threat, focusing on the navy and a small Hawaiian island outpost where NASA sent a message months earlier that brought about their visit.

After the aliens annihilate Stones ship and anything else ecapsualted under its protective electromagnetic field, Alex steps up and finds the courage to become the man his brother always believed he could be. Devisiting a plan to use the surviving crew too call back to duty the 70 year old decommissioned USS Missouri (now a museum) and make it become a fully functioning battleship again. Honestly, this really is as daft as it sounds.

As storylines give way to visual gratification, there are few redeeming or noteworthy moments to this film. Real life double amputee Lt. Col. Gregory D. Gadson manages to add a powerful and touching story-thread as the depressed ex-soldier who realizes that legs don't make a man tall. Unable to man the outdated battleship, the young soldiers receive aid from a proud group of grinning geriatric sailors who somewhat resemble a certain spinach eating comic, whilst captain Nagata reveals to the USS John Paul Jones how to utilize a grid system in which to track the alien movement. Each of these scenes hint at a movie that could have been something special, but simply wasn't.

The Verdict: If only the Mighty Mo knew how they were abusing her good navel name she would turn her nine rusted 16 inch Mark 7 guns on Hollywood and show them just how much damage a good old lady can do.

Published: The Queanbeyan Age
Date of Publication: 20/04/2012
½ May 22, 2016
A hopelessly misguided cash grab that, despite its spectacular visual effects, can offer nothing in its characters or direction.

V: 52%
½ May 18, 2016
Battleship. Somebody thought that it would be a good idea to make a movie based on Battleship. A board game with no semblance of story whatsoever. Whoever greenlit this film deserves to be fired and blacklisted from Hollywood.

It would be one thing if Battleship was self-aware of how stupid it is, and played upon the absurdity of this idea. But no, the filmmakers behind this film go full speed ahead with a story that takes itself pretty seriously, and adds in some cringeworthy military circlejerking to boot. Director Peter Berg does little more with this material than show off how many explosions he can cram into a 130 minute blockbuster. Aside from the aforementioned pro-military themes, a concept that Berg has shown much passion for, you can tell the man just doesn't care. The cast sure doesn't care either: of course, it doesn't help that each character in this movie is just a standard archetype drawn from the pool of typical character traits. Taylor Kitsch is bland, and does little to nothing to try to stand out as anything more than an attractive bro-type hero. Rihanna is just dreadfully bad, even though her dialogue is never any more complex than confused questions and stern responses to commands. Even Liam Neeson seems bored, and phones in his performance (which amounts to all of 15 minutes or so).

It's loud, it's dumb, it's nonsensical, and, despite some decent visual effects, it's just ugly. You can put a white peg through this one, because Battleship is a miss.
May 6, 2016
It takes FOREVER to get going. The build-up is about 20 minutes too long. Too much time is spent trying to make us care about these characters. It was marketed very poorly. So I get why it failed.

However, when the action starts, when the aliens show up, I'm not ashamed to admit I was entertained as hell. The movie didn't try to be more than what it was, just a little entertaining action movie with a little cat/mouse chess match like drama. It was cheesy as hell when they brought in the grid system like the board game, but this was an occasion where I ate up the cheese.
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