At First I Thought this was directed by Michael Bay but i forgot this was not a film by his, I Keep saying that a famous director directing movies and turning out better than expected, Peter Berg was the director of this movie, What I Really Love about this movie is Taylor Kitsch, Liam Neeson and Rhianna, She's really badass for actress after becoming a singer in the UK, I'm surprising to say that The Effects and Stunts were awesome to watch and one of the best parts of the movie is one character has robot legs!
(Full review coming soon - with better wording probably)
If imitation really is the sincerest form of flattery, then Michael Bay should feel extremely flattered. The uncanny resemblance B-grade Actor/Director Peter berg's Battleships has to Bay's Transformers is barely short of copyright, or would be if it wasn't so laboriously clunky.
An exercise in lazy filmmaking, every trick in the action book is overworked. A pulsating men-of-mayhem score, clichéd inane narratives, alien invasions, a reckless antihero, jarring jumps from seriousness to comedy, cringe worthy all-American overtones, the silliness that drips from every scene will see this at the podium to receive the 2012 razzie award for worst picture.
At the age of 26, perpetual screw-up Alex (Taylor Kitsch) is the bane of his overly responsible naval officer brother Stone (Alexander Skarsgård). After yet another juvenile display, where Alex attempts to impress the gorgeous hungry girl Sam (Brooklyn Decker) at a bar by breaking into a nearby convenience store to stealing her sustenance of choice a chicken burrito but ends up being tasered twice by police; Stone puts his foot down dragging his petulant brother into the adult world by enlisting him into the US navy.
A rapid ascent to a high-ranking position is little comfort however when Alex is faced with the daunting prospect of approaching Sam's father, Admiral Shane (Liam Neeson) for her hand in marriage. After arriving late, and engaging a personal fistycuffs vendetta with rival Japanese captain Nagata (Tadanobu Asano) at the opening event of the year at the Naval war games, his career and likelihood of gaining acceptance is slim to nil.
The war games; an annual friendly international exercise, are interrupted when an unidentifiable and untraceable by radar object appears in the water. Under threat and unable to contact its home planet, the object attacks anything it believes to be a threat, focusing on the navy and a small Hawaiian island outpost where NASA sent a message months earlier that brought about their visit.
After the aliens annihilate Stones ship and anything else ecapsualted under its protective electromagnetic field, Alex steps up and finds the courage to become the man his brother always believed he could be. Devisiting a plan to use the surviving crew too call back to duty the 70 year old decommissioned USS Missouri (now a museum) and make it become a fully functioning battleship again. Honestly, this really is as daft as it sounds.
As storylines give way to visual gratification, there are few redeeming or noteworthy moments to this film. Real life double amputee Lt. Col. Gregory D. Gadson manages to add a powerful and touching story-thread as the depressed ex-soldier who realizes that legs don't make a man tall. Unable to man the outdated battleship, the young soldiers receive aid from a proud group of grinning geriatric sailors who somewhat resemble a certain spinach eating comic, whilst captain Nagata reveals to the USS John Paul Jones how to utilize a grid system in which to track the alien movement. Each of these scenes hint at a movie that could have been something special, but simply wasn't.
The Verdict: If only the Mighty Mo knew how they were abusing her good navel name she would turn her nine rusted 16 inch Mark 7 guns on Hollywood and show them just how much damage a good old lady can do.
Published: The Queanbeyan Age
Date of Publication: 20/04/2012
A hopelessly misguided cash grab that, despite its spectacular visual effects, can offer nothing in its characters or direction.
It would be one thing if Battleship was self-aware of how stupid it is, and played upon the absurdity of this idea. But no, the filmmakers behind this film go full speed ahead with a story that takes itself pretty seriously, and adds in some cringeworthy military circlejerking to boot. Director Peter Berg does little more with this material than show off how many explosions he can cram into a 130 minute blockbuster. Aside from the aforementioned pro-military themes, a concept that Berg has shown much passion for, you can tell the man just doesn't care. The cast sure doesn't care either: of course, it doesn't help that each character in this movie is just a standard archetype drawn from the pool of typical character traits. Taylor Kitsch is bland, and does little to nothing to try to stand out as anything more than an attractive bro-type hero. Rihanna is just dreadfully bad, even though her dialogue is never any more complex than confused questions and stern responses to commands. Even Liam Neeson seems bored, and phones in his performance (which amounts to all of 15 minutes or so).
It's loud, it's dumb, it's nonsensical, and, despite some decent visual effects, it's just ugly. You can put a white peg through this one, because Battleship is a miss.
However, when the action starts, when the aliens show up, I'm not ashamed to admit I was entertained as hell. The movie didn't try to be more than what it was, just a little entertaining action movie with a little cat/mouse chess match like drama. It was cheesy as hell when they brought in the grid system like the board game, but this was an occasion where I ate up the cheese.
The special effects were very well done, A little slow to get in the swing of things and in my opinion focuses too much on characters which isn't always a bad thing but in these movies there's no need, It's not as good as I hoped but worth watching for the battle scenes, Nothing more.
Originally written December 1, 2012--
I read all of the rotten reviews this movie received last summer, and because I saw the fantastic 'Marvel's The Avengers' so many times in the theater, I figured I would just watch this one once it came out on DVD and Blu Ray. Well, I finally found the time to watch this stinker of a film during Thanksgiving break. I was Very disappointed. Don't waste your time on this mashup between Transformers, Independence Day, and the original board game. Seriously. It's just not worth it.