BloodRayne 3

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10/27/2013 Bloodrayne: The Third Reich Rating: 1 / 5 So Bad It's Good Rating: 4 / 5 "Bloodrayne: The Third Reich" is a return to form for the franchise because although the movie is a total disaster, at least this film is so bad it becomes entertaining again. In case you're not familiar with the franchise, it stars Rayne (Natassia Malthe), a woman who was born a dhampir (so half human, half vampire) after her vampire father (only appearing in the first film and played by Ben Kingsley) raped her human mother. After gaining a series of magical artifacts, Rayne is now able to resist Holy Water and sunlight (see the events of the first Bloodrayne for more details!) This time around, her travels have brought her to 1943 Europe, right in the heart of WWII. After attacking a group of Nazis about to deliver a shipment of Jews to a concentration camp, Rayne is injured and accidentally turns high-ranking Nazi officer Eckart Brand (played by Michael Paré) into a vampire when some of her blood flies into his mouth and he manages to survive her attack. Armed with this new weapon, the war could be over and the world overrun with an army of Nazi vampires if Rayne doesn't do something. She teams up with a group of rebels to take down the German menace. The BloodRayne series was never actually any good but as goofy fun, it had some merits. The first film had gratuitous sex, over-the-top violence and some really unintentionally hilarious scenes. It also had some big stars given some terrible dialogue and some action sequences that must have been taken straight out of a video game because they made nearly no sense (I still scratch my head thinking of the monastery with the ogre living in the basement and the room full of moving buzz saws). The second movie was dull. The violence was mostly gun play, there was no nudity and characters were introduced and dropped left and right. A real stinker. "Bloodrayne 3" brings it back around to the beginning. There's more blood, action and some gore (including a man clutching some sausage links that are supposed to be his intestines). There's more nudity and sex, some of which makes no sense and most of which has no bearing on the plot whatsoever. One example is a lesbian sex scene between Rayne and a female prostitute. It comes out of nowhere and it's totally gratuitous. Oh, there are also Nazi vampires! Don't get me wrong though, this movie is pretty awful. There are plot holes and continuity errors consistently throughout the film. In the opening scene for example, a German officer is sneaking up on Rayne and has a clear shot to the back of her head... yet when he fires, he hits her in the shoulder! During the middle, the rebels are getting ready to attack the Nazi vampires but don't bother to bring anything with them that could help like holy water or crosses and instead just bring normal guns which they know are useless. My favorite of all though is at the very end of the movie where for no reason the Germans have locked up Rayne and her love interest Nathaniel together, without any handcuffs or anything. To the movie's credit though, this feels less like a mistake and more like a way to shoehorn in another scene where Natassia Malthe takes off her clothes. Seriously, she is naked a lot in the movie and when she isn't, her cleavage is prominent at all times. In fact I would say that her Rayne's breasts form roughly one third of her personality because other than the fact that she's easily angered, likes to solve her problems by cutting people up and is a vampire, the only thing we know about her is that she likes sex a lot. The acting is bad all around and all of the characters are flat. Some are almost given a personality, like Doctor Mangler (Clint Howard) who is so over-the-top that he becomes hilarious. How do you not just give up trying to rationalize the scientific workings of a vampire when you've determined that holy water affects them? The best thing about the movie though (well, except for Natassia Malthe's... acting talents) is the running time. This movie is bad but it comes in and gets out quick. At just over an hour and twelve minutes (and that includes the opening credits but not the end ones) You will be laughing at the final confrontation between the main bad guys and our heroes so hard that all before you know it, the movie's over. That means the movie is never boring and brings in some good laughs. If you're looking for a good movie, don't even come close to this one; it's terrible! But if you want something fun to watch with your friends, grab "BloodRayne" and "Bloodrayne: The Third Reich" and show them as a double feature. The second movie has no bearings on the overall story so just skip it and watch your friends' jaws drop. (Unrated version on Dvd, Oct 4, 2013) See more 09/08/2011 The WWII made this a bit interesting but its still pretty bad See more 08/10/2011 Uwe Boll strikes again the See more 01/16/2011 See: Bloodrayne the third reich See more Read all reviews

BloodRayne 3

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