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Critics Consensus: Bizarre and clumsily plotted, Gigli is a mess. As for its stars, Affleck and Lopez lack chemistry.
Critic Consensus: Bizarre and clumsily plotted, Gigli is a mess. As for its stars, Affleck and Lopez lack chemistry.
All Critics (185) | Top Critics (47) | Fresh (12) | Rotten (173) | DVD (14)
After the schadenfreudian thrill of watching beautiful people humiliate themselves wears off, it has the same annihilating effect on your will to live.
More stupefying follies may come, but it's impossible to imagine how they'll beat this one for staggering idiocy, fatuousness or pretension.
Every bit as unwatchable as the deafening negative chatter would suggest.
It's hard to tell who this movie was intended for: those who think that a mentally challenged boy singing dirty rap lyrics is cute and funny? Those who find Ben Affleck's brow to be ineffably mysterious? Students of Stoic philosophy looking for a test?
Brief but flamboyant cameos by Christopher Walken and Al Pacino helped keep me distracted from the noble intentions and the silliness.
Mitigating factors: a carefully curated sampling of J-Lo butt cleavage, and an arrhythmic Christopher Walken cameo which momentarily diverts the doomed ship from collision with the iceberg.
The serious problem with Gigli is the script.
It's like the first draft of a one-set play that Neil Simon wisely abandoned, and which was then handed to Quentin Tarantino to spice up.
Gigli won't be the worst movie to come out of Hollywood all year, but it's sure to be one of the most forgettable.
It's every bit as atrocious as you may have heard. Nay, worse.
To qualify as a historic failure, a film needs a measure of pretension and all Gigli ever wanted to be was a romantic comedy. What it is is a dreadful romantic comedy.
Mere words fail to express the awfulness of Martin Brest's Gigli.
It is not one of the worst movies ever made like many people say, but it is interminable, structurally messy and the dialogue can be hideous sometimes, with the biggest problem being Lopez's complete lack of charisma and nonexistent chemistry with Affleck.
Super Reviewer
Life doesn't play by the rules. Mediocre movie! Overall this is not the `worst film ever made', those who tell you that have clearly have a limited viewing experience; many of the reviews were made harsher by the back lash against the whole Bennifer thing. However that's not to say they are wrong - only overly harsh. The film is poorly judged in almost every aspect and is too hard to enjoy as a result. Has about 3 good moments in it, but it is an overwhelming shambles. Gigli, a lowly and inept hitman, is assigned a job by the mob to kidnap a mentally retarded brother of a California district attorney. Gigli abducts the brother from his mental hospital and holds him hostage in his apartment. Ricki, a "lesbian assassin", is sent to oversee Gigli's job and make sure he doesn't screw it up. Comedic high jinks ensue as the two go on the lam and start to fall in love.
When Conan O'Brien just has to say the name of your movie to get a big laugh in his opening monologue every night for two months, you know you've screwed up. It was for that exact reason that I set out to watch this flop for the first time since it came out, ten long years ago, and it was so much worse than I could have expected. Usually films that are bad, and feature big stars, at least have a gimmick, maybe some off-color jokes, or have a bloated budget, but there's no reason for this unmitigated tripe. There is no budget, the script is atrocious, and the characters are either one sided, conceited, or plain dumb. The premise alone is staggeringly awful: a very low level mobster (Ben Affleck a gangster? Really?) has to kidnap the brother of a federal prosecutor, who happens to be mentally challenged. That alone should stop you if you are reading the script. He does so with minimal effort, which is strange, because you would think there would be a lot of security for someone so vulnerable. Then waltzes in the other lead, Jennifer Lopez, as a hired gun, who happens to be a lesbian. I will say that at least they represent her as someone who deals with the traps and tribulations of relationships and comes out the other side the same as any hetero, when speaking about her relationship with another woman. Still, her sexuality, which is dealt with right off the bat, is pivoted once she starts hanging around Affleck's character. The mentally challenged character is also handled poorly, as he oftentimes rings his hands wildly and asks to go meet girls at the "Baywatch" time and again. Justin Bartha is in this role, and it baffles me that it doesn't follow him around the same way the others have suffered for this flop. There are some brief cameos from Christopher Walken and Al Pacino that are twenty times more entertaining, but most of this film concerns this strange love story between the goon and the lesbian. They barely leave the apartment, talk to anyone, or do much of anything (if cutting a dead guy's thumb off doesn't count). Most of that doesn't even matter, because the background score for this film is so loud and obnoxious you can't hear the actor's voices over it, which makes this feel as cheap and sleazy as the rest of the movie. It's so pathetically contrived and icky at all times, and not one person can justify to me why this film needed to be made.
OMG! It's like watching a train wreck (without the dead people). Sadly, I can't say there are no injuries -- at least as far as public respect might go. I thought this was so bad that on reflection, it became funny. Think "funny" in the sense that "The Room" is funny for all its delicious incompetence. This movie is a must-see for anyone into truly bad cinema -- but if you're looking for simple entertainment or nonvegitative stimulation, this film ain't for you.
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