"Perfect Husband. Perfect Target."
I'm a little shocked to say this, but I actually didn't hate Killers. Of the four Ashton Kutcher romantic comedies I have seen, Killers would have to be my favorite one. Not that that's saying too much, as all his other ones sucked and Killers isn't all that good either. It's not that I have anything against Kutcher; actually I don't hate him nearly as much as most. It's just that he stars in all these romantic comedies that at their core are the exact same thing.
Aside from the first half hour; which was nearly unwatchable, I would say I enjoyed Killers somewhat. It was completely predictable and Katherine Heigl was much worse than the average romantic comedy leading lady, but it was watchable. And today when talking about romantic comedies, watchable means nearly a masterpiece.
The story is okay and the action saved this movie. Ashton Kutcher plays a spy who gives it up to marry Jen. Three years down the line, a 20 million dollar bounty is put on his head. So him and his wife have a lot of people trying to kill him. So he has to come clean to his wife about the whole thing. Everything that happens outside of the action follows the same formula as any other unoriginal romantic comedy.
So, I'm not saying that I liked Killers, but I didn't dislike it either. It was for the most part a fun movie. Not nearly as excruciating to watch as What Happens In Vegas.
The execution of the script is OK. I sort of liked the outlandish plot points and the over-the top comedic violence.
Killers starring Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl is about as charmless, thrilless, and joyless a picture as your likely to see all summer.
The awkward, bumbling, and lovelorn Jen (Heigl) visits Nice, France with her mother (Catherine O'Hara) and over-cautious father (Tom Selleck). Jen's a vulnerable recent dumpee who quickly falls for the handsome Spencer (Kutcher), who she meets randomly at her hotel. And whadya know Spencer happens to be a CIA funded contract killer in town for "business" purposes. The two hit it off and get married soon after, all the while Jen's completely oblivious to her perfect new hubby's life as a hired gun.
The concept of the "killers" comes in after Spencer attempts to quit his life of iniquity and settle down. This proves more difficult when a 20 million dollar bounty is placed on his head and a cadre of assassins disguised as friendly neighbors move in for the kill.
The film directed by Robert Luketic is a gross miscalculation on many levels. It's an action movie that never excites - and manages to overstep it's tonal boundaries with some excessive gore -, a comedy thats hardly ever funny, and an attempted play on the conflicts of real married life that couldn't feel more artificial.
Kutcher gets some of the biggest laughs - along with O'Hara as Jen's drunken mother - but is completely unconvincing as action star or romantic lead. The touch of charisma that a Cary Grant, Steve McQueen, or George Clooney could provide is dolefully missing. And Heigl is stereotypical as the the relatable girl thats confused and snarky in equal measures. The two have no chemistry.
Killers is in the spirit of much better films like Romancing The Stone and True Lies, but the heart and mind that made those films so hot is missing in this genre entry and the product is considerably more icey and forgettable.
Bonus points for Tom Selleck who is always awesome!
Nate's Grade: C-
Director: Robert Luketic
Summary: When an elite assassin (Ashton Kutcher) marries a beautiful computer whiz (Katherine Heigl) after a whirlwind romance, he gives up the gun and settles down with his new bride. That is, until he learns that someone from his past has put a contract out on his life. Now, the couple must go on the run if they hope to survive and settle the score once and for all.
My Thoughts: "The only thing good this movie had going for it was the chemistry between the two leads and the humor of Catherine O'Hara. She was enjoyable as the outspoken drunk mother. Besides that it was just an OK comedy. Nothing to laugh out loud to, but it gives you a few giggles here and there. The story was weak and predictable. But it was well worth watching to pass the time on a boring day."