Mary Poppins Returns
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All Critics (13)
| Top Critics (1)
| Fresh (1)
| Rotten (12)
Bad-movie enthusiasts will doubtless have fun watching these oversized piscine predators leaping from the ocean and laying waste to Florida's coastal regions, but hasn't this tiresome, kitschy, so-bad-it's-good fad run its course?
We can ridicule every frame.
An absolute stinker in every conceivable way.
I can't think of anything more dispiriting than a film consciously faking it for the so-bad-it's-good market.
Incredibly for a film which presumably intends to at least alarm an audience, the budget seems to have been spent entirely on set-piece explosions with no money remaining for the actual fish.
It stars former pop queen Tiffany, who topped the charts in 1987 with I Think We're Alone Now. Visit a cinema showing this and the chances are you'll know what she was singing about.
Everything about it is deliberately, winkingly atrocious -- killing the fun for those, like me, who think unwitting schlock is the juiciest kind.
Is it any good? That's the wrong question to ask of a film like this whose many plot-holes, absurdities and over-the-top idiocies are an essential part of the allure. But is it bad enough?
The designer-trashy tone is well sustained -- these people brought you Mega Shark versus Giant Octopus -- as the toothy threat moves from the Amazon to the Florida Keys.
There's about half an hour of watchable film in here. The other hour is looping stock footage and endless scenes of people gawping at monitors.
Those who follow the "so bad it's good" school of thought will probably love it -- anyone else should avoid.
Played straight, it's initially amusing but swiftly outstays its welcome as the piranhas develop the ability to fly like fanged double decker buses and the whole caboodly tries just a bit too hard to be knowing.
They're eating boats and alligator bodies, dammit!
When genetic experiments get out of hand, piranhas turn into giant, flying, cannibalistic hermpahrodites that explode when they contact building materials. This is a real self-esteem movie: no matter how stupid you are in real life, you'll be convinced you're a genius compared to the people who made MEGA PIRANHA.
Tiffany and Barry Williams fight Man eating fish that are growing exponentially. Not as exciting as you'd hope.
Scientists genetically modify piranhas. They start killing. People doubt it's the piranhas. They find out it is, the hard way. The is SciFi (or SyFy now) killer animal stuff. The growing piranhas and bad CGI gave me a few smiles, and the awful dialogue was memorable. But since The Asylum have already done Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, you kind of wish this Mega Piranha had a sea-folk to battle. Maybe, Mental Mermaid? Tiffany isn't much of an actress, in fact I don't think she was much of a singer. Paul Logan offers the muscles, and when he goes man-on-fish with a piranha in a knife fight, you believe he could win. In the expanding world of killer animal movies, this is one you can easily skip. I'm gonna wait for Piranha 3D.
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