Piranha 3-D - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Piranha 3-D Reviews

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July 27, 2016
Not one of the worst remakes but it is particularly bland and unsatisfying.
July 17, 2016
Funny and thrilling in all its gore-filled glory, Piranha 3-D serves an excellent dish of blood and babes with its entertaining narrative and a talented cast that includes a great female lead performance from Elisabeth Shue.
½ July 15, 2016
Well-filmed remake of a B-horror movie. Some great actors involved help, including Shue and Ving Rhames. But beyond that, this fun movie just isn't that enjoyable. Only worth watching in 3-D.
July 9, 2016
The CGI is very poor. There is a lot of nudity, blood, and gore. The best scene is definitely when the piranhas attacked all those people about an hour into the movie.
July 6, 2016
Only liked it because of the chicks assets and gore!
June 8, 2016
Love it. Especially because Adam Scott is in it (I'm a fan). This was inappropriate, so sadly kids cannot watch it. Although this is hard to watch - there's A LOT of disgusting and overdone blood - it is great and funny.
½ May 20, 2016
Its barely above being more than just a dumb gore fest. The characters are hit and miss and some aspects of the movie really make you wish the pirhanas would get you first.
May 15, 2016
WELL, AT LEAST YOU'LL NEVER BE SCARED TO GO BACK IN THE WATER....
:: A movie review by Brett Epstein ::

It's actually been a while since I've seen a movie where nearly every single scene does not work. I haven't loved (or even liked) most movies I've seen recently (the awkward 'Charlie St. Cloud' or the obnoxious 'Scott Pilgrim vs. the World') however those movies had at least a few redeeming qualities or were interesting/compelling in some small capacity, whether it be because of an actor or a stylistic choice.

The same cannot be said for 'PIRANHA 3D,' the latest horror flick from Alexandre Aja, who brought us 'The Hills Have Eyes' (unnecessary and unforgivably gruesome) and 'High Tension' (better). There are so many problems with this movie, I don't even know where to begin.

Aja needed to PICK A GENRE before he started shooting this film...and simply put, he never did. I hated 'The Hills Have Eyes' but at least the director knew it was a horror film. There was no sense that Aja was trying to create a comedy there. In fact, the horror grew to be excessive and depressing. In PIRANHA, he is unsure if he wants to scare the audience or make us laugh. Unfortunately, he does neither. Not one line of dialogue is funny or clever in the script to begin with, but on top of that the actors don't deliver the mediocre lines in any fun or interesting ways. And it's impossible for us to be scared because we can't even see what's going on. We see young spring-breakers jumping out of the water, blood everywhere, but we barely see the fish. Then when we do, we laugh, unintentionally, because 1) they are created terribly with CGI and 2) they are literal prehistoric creatures who arose from an underwater tremor FOR NO REASON. I would have preferred, and been more scared of, actual piranhas. Show me actual piranhas attacking people. Them shits are scary little sons-of-bitches. I don't need prehistoric piranhas attacking my springbreakers. I know some of you think that sounds 'badass,' but wait until you see these things. Laughable.

There is no excitement to be had in any scene. In fact, I went to the bathroom for five minutes towards the end and was more excited by having to find my way out of the theater in the dark. That was a more thrilling, fun, worthwhile adventure than anything on screen. Walking. To the bathroom. And peeing. Was more fun than this film. I'm serious.

The 3D is lame. There are some chuckles when we see 3D boobs and a 3D penis, but is a 3D penis worth $15? No, it comes and goes so quickly (as penises always do) but at least in life you don't have to pay $15 to see a penis. They come free when you date someone or just hook up with someone. What I'm saying is...go and hook up with someone, anyone - a boyfriend, a neighbor, a friend with benefits - instead of seeing this movie. You will be more fulfilled and have way more fun and it will be much cheaper. Even if it's disappointing, you didn't pay $15 for it (hopefully, unless you hooked up with a prostitute, which I'm not telling you to do).

Most interesting moment in the film features Christopher Lloyd channeling his "Back to the Future" character with a scientific explanation for the prehistoric piranhas. Does his character have a reason for existing... or does his speech make a lick of sense? Absolutely not. But hey, it's Christopher Lloyd. And I was listening to him because he spoke in a funny way. He should have been in 3D. Then maybe... just maybe... this movie would have gotten * 1/2 instead of *.

But alas...

* it is.
½ April 10, 2016
So much damn fun!! Ridiculous Gore and laughs to be had. One of the few remakes that supersedes the original.
½ March 27, 2016
I actually enjoyed it way more than I should of, It doesn't take itself too serious, I can't comment on the 3D as I watched the 2D version, It has some nice gory deaths and funny ones too that make it fun to watch.
½ February 5, 2016
Good fun for about 10 minutes, but then it all gets old very quickly. Not even fun in a B-movie way - just dull.
½ January 24, 2016
Trovare anche qualche critico l'abbia recensito positivamente fa più paura!!! Cosa che il film non riesce a fare!! Dovrebbe vincere il premio di miglior petecchia dell'anno. Con 25 milioni di dollari si dovrebbe far meglio!!!
½ January 6, 2016
probably need to watch again. only saw version that ran on basic cable
½ January 3, 2016
As far as horror movies go it's not too bad. Doesn't take itself too seriously and has lots of blood and boobs plus Christopher Lloyd.
January 2, 2016
¿Qué más puede pedir un fanático del cine? Saber el destino final del personaje interpretado por Richard Dreyfuss en "Jaws", volver a ver a Christopher Lloyd interpretando a un científico, el director Eli Roth ("Hostel") interpretando a un pervertido, VIng Rhames intercambiando los zombies de "Dawn Of The Death" por pirañas prehistóricas, Jerry O'Connell interpretando a otro pervertido... En fin, "Piraña 3D" es una cinta clase B que logra un A en diversión, cortesía de la mente torcida del director Alexandre Aja.
½ December 6, 2015
upped it half a star
November 22, 2015
The 4th film in the franchise is a fun one. This is a remake to the original film which started as a spoof to the original Jaws. Well, from what I can tell, this just seems like a remake with the spoof part removed.

This isn't really a comedy, like past films. It's more like a disaster monster horror film. It's a lot of fun and you get a really crazy all-star ensemble. Some more common actors, others not so much. There's a fee subplots and events going on around the main storyline. The film straight up ends on a cliffhanger, letting you know there is definitely going to be a sequel in the most direct way possible. I haven't seen any other film in the series, nor the original so it's hard to compare it or make comparisons.

As a standalone film, I'd watch this multiple times, it was an enjoyment and everyone should see it.
November 16, 2015
Twisted, wicked fun!
November 5, 2015
considering how bad I expected it to be it ended up being at least entertaining, Ive seen waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay worse.
October 14, 2015
When your movie has a scene in which two piranhas fight over a severed penis, and then throws it up at the camera in 3D, don't expect this movie to be any good. But yet, the movie is so gleefully fun to watch and make fun of that I can't hate it TOO much.
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