Piranha 3-D - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Piranha 3-D Reviews

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February 12, 2017
This is a remake of a movie of the same name from 1978. I didn't see that version. Apparently they were capitalizing on the "Jaws" phenomenon which came out around the same time, dangerous underwater creatures terrorizing humans, nature biting back you might say. Prehistoric piranhas released during an earthquake from an underwater cave to terrorize people during Spring break. But like the sequels of Jaws this movie wasn't as good as Jaws. Richard Dreyfuss makes a brief guest appearance in this film. Suffice to say it was awful. Even the scenes of scantily clad girls in bikinis didn't make this movie enjoyable to watch. I didn't see this in a theatre so I wasn't able to experience the 3D effects but just as well it wasn't the kind of movie I'd go to see in a theatre.
½ January 18, 2017
Stupid and illogical, weak script and to much predictable to be a great horror movie. The great cast cast and the funny scenes can't help this total disaster.
½ January 16, 2017
Very enjoyable remake. Everything you could ask for in a horror film.
½ January 2, 2017
It's good movie to watch
½ December 22, 2016
horror splatter with many scenes rated R and excellent copy in the original calling it a great remake
½ November 20, 2016
Believe it or not, it's actually a good movie, of course if you can ignore the special effects, who are far beyond terrible. It's an extremely goofy and campy remake of the 1978 Roger Corman movie. If you can ignore it's few flaws, you may just get a few kicks out of this pic, with all the bloodshed and sexy nudity you want. Ving Rhames is in this film, which I liked and even the good old Eli Roth makes an appearance, which I just loved. Recommended !!
½ September 28, 2016
There's something endearing about watching respectable actors keep straight faces on in the scope of a batshit monster movie. In no way would an average person have to deal with murderous (and giant) sharks, crocodiles, anacondas, or spiders, but we've seen everyone, from Samuel L. Jackson to Richard Dreyfuss, wrestle with such conflicts with the same level of seriousness as Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein uncovering the Watergate Scandal. Such is ridiculous but delightful, and the genre, for all its raging familiarities and its sometimes pertinent issues in deciding tone, has a hard time going stale because of this actor centric phenomenon.
2010's "Piranha 3D" is no different, but I'm pressed to call it as much fun as "Deep Blue Sea" or its 1978 counterpart because it more prominently resembles a violent sexploitation film than a cheekily humorous creature feature. Moments shine in their trope welcoming panache, from a climax that features the classic Get Out of the Water line (which, of course, only means that all innocent parties cringingly make their way into the water with prompt disobedience) to the never tiring cliché of skinny dipping beauties taking a swim at precisely the worst moment in time. But the film's perhaps too generous with its flashes of pink and its focusing on mind-numbingly misguided persons, and so it feels like a spoof that also doesn't appear to much be in on the joke.
"Piranha 3D," as expected, revolves around a small town's hellacious spring break following the flukey release of prehistoric piranhas into its tourist attracting waters. The solving of the issue is up to the admirably patient Sheriff Julie Forester (Elisabeth Shue) and a band of desperate law enforcement agents, with our emotions conversely being manipulated by the fact that her children (Steven R. McQueen, Brooklyn Proulx, Sage Ryan) rebel against her and accidentally find themselves being terrorized by the man-eating gaggle of fishes.
Whether calling the film a race against time is up to the viewer, but because trying to off thousands of toothy beasts is next to impossible when quick reproduction is a thing, it's more fitting to call "Piranha 3D" a battle that will never really be won. But the thrills are mostly efficient and the performances are decent - take its barely better than SyFy channel special effects or its stabs at parody seriously and you'll get nowhere.
My problem with "Piranha 3D," though, doesn't much have to do with any of the aforementioned characteristics - my problem is that I find it too troublingly sleazy to be fun. It spreads its grease too thickly - the pornography subplot is fun for two minutes before it starts to become monotonous - and as a result its tension is botched because we get to know its chintzy side protagonists better than we do the far more interesting Shue and Adam Scott led grouping of real-life superheroes.
So I'd call it all uneven, but its moments of joyous bloodlines are still acutely effectual. It gets the job done, sure - I'm just not so positive than the final result is as in on the joke as I'd like it to be. At least the final shot is killer and at least the defining climactic bloodbath is beautifully insane. Both count, much as I'd like to write "Piranha 3D" completely off.
½ September 12, 2016
What a nasty movie its horreble not for 16 + ages
I think its 18+
August 31, 2016
I've got mixed feelings on thiss one. On one hand it's great B-movie with a lot of great actors and cameos. One the other hand it's still shitty filmmaking, horrible CGI and amazingly terrible extras.
July 27, 2016
Not one of the worst remakes but it is particularly bland and unsatisfying.
July 17, 2016
Funny and thrilling in all its gore-filled glory, Piranha 3-D serves an excellent dish of blood and babes with its entertaining narrative and a talented cast that includes a great female lead performance from Elisabeth Shue.
½ July 15, 2016
Well-filmed remake of a B-horror movie. Some great actors involved help, including Shue and Ving Rhames. But beyond that, this fun movie just isn't that enjoyable. Only worth watching in 3-D.
July 9, 2016
The CGI is very poor. There is a lot of nudity, blood, and gore. The best scene is definitely when the piranhas attacked all those people about an hour into the movie.
July 6, 2016
Only liked it because of the chicks assets and gore!
June 8, 2016
Love it. Especially because Adam Scott is in it (I'm a fan). This was inappropriate, so sadly kids cannot watch it. Although this is hard to watch - there's A LOT of disgusting and overdone blood - it is great and funny.
½ May 20, 2016
Its barely above being more than just a dumb gore fest. The characters are hit and miss and some aspects of the movie really make you wish the pirhanas would get you first.
May 15, 2016
:: A movie review by Brett Epstein ::

It's actually been a while since I've seen a movie where nearly every single scene does not work. I haven't loved (or even liked) most movies I've seen recently (the awkward 'Charlie St. Cloud' or the obnoxious 'Scott Pilgrim vs. the World') however those movies had at least a few redeeming qualities or were interesting/compelling in some small capacity, whether it be because of an actor or a stylistic choice.

The same cannot be said for 'PIRANHA 3D,' the latest horror flick from Alexandre Aja, who brought us 'The Hills Have Eyes' (unnecessary and unforgivably gruesome) and 'High Tension' (better). There are so many problems with this movie, I don't even know where to begin.

Aja needed to PICK A GENRE before he started shooting this film...and simply put, he never did. I hated 'The Hills Have Eyes' but at least the director knew it was a horror film. There was no sense that Aja was trying to create a comedy there. In fact, the horror grew to be excessive and depressing. In PIRANHA, he is unsure if he wants to scare the audience or make us laugh. Unfortunately, he does neither. Not one line of dialogue is funny or clever in the script to begin with, but on top of that the actors don't deliver the mediocre lines in any fun or interesting ways. And it's impossible for us to be scared because we can't even see what's going on. We see young spring-breakers jumping out of the water, blood everywhere, but we barely see the fish. Then when we do, we laugh, unintentionally, because 1) they are created terribly with CGI and 2) they are literal prehistoric creatures who arose from an underwater tremor FOR NO REASON. I would have preferred, and been more scared of, actual piranhas. Show me actual piranhas attacking people. Them shits are scary little sons-of-bitches. I don't need prehistoric piranhas attacking my springbreakers. I know some of you think that sounds 'badass,' but wait until you see these things. Laughable.

There is no excitement to be had in any scene. In fact, I went to the bathroom for five minutes towards the end and was more excited by having to find my way out of the theater in the dark. That was a more thrilling, fun, worthwhile adventure than anything on screen. Walking. To the bathroom. And peeing. Was more fun than this film. I'm serious.

The 3D is lame. There are some chuckles when we see 3D boobs and a 3D penis, but is a 3D penis worth $15? No, it comes and goes so quickly (as penises always do) but at least in life you don't have to pay $15 to see a penis. They come free when you date someone or just hook up with someone. What I'm saying is...go and hook up with someone, anyone - a boyfriend, a neighbor, a friend with benefits - instead of seeing this movie. You will be more fulfilled and have way more fun and it will be much cheaper. Even if it's disappointing, you didn't pay $15 for it (hopefully, unless you hooked up with a prostitute, which I'm not telling you to do).

Most interesting moment in the film features Christopher Lloyd channeling his "Back to the Future" character with a scientific explanation for the prehistoric piranhas. Does his character have a reason for existing... or does his speech make a lick of sense? Absolutely not. But hey, it's Christopher Lloyd. And I was listening to him because he spoke in a funny way. He should have been in 3D. Then maybe... just maybe... this movie would have gotten * 1/2 instead of *.

But alas...

* it is.
½ April 10, 2016
So much damn fun!! Ridiculous Gore and laughs to be had. One of the few remakes that supersedes the original.
Super Reviewer
½ March 27, 2016
I actually enjoyed it way more than I should of, It doesn't take itself too serious, I can't comment on the 3D as I watched the 2D version, It has some nice gory deaths and funny ones too that make it fun to watch.
½ February 5, 2016
Good fun for about 10 minutes, but then it all gets old very quickly. Not even fun in a B-movie way - just dull.
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