The Expendables 2 Reviews
A much better installment than last time, with better action and less 'downtime'. That being said, the movie is still too ridiculous to be taken seriously, and the dialogue is god-awful.
The Expendables 2, for what it's worth, is a decent action smash em' all with a handful of well-known characters from the 1970's, 1980's, and 1990's. There are no intense "thriller" moments aside from some well executed fight scenes and you won't find too many twists here. You know what you're getting into, you know what the ending will inevitably end up being, but The Expendables 2 makes it tolerable enough - and at times fun - to follow along with the crew nevertheless.
Worth at least one view but don't expect too match re-watchability. This movie doesn't make you think, and that's one of my favorite parts about it. Senseless fun with the action heroes we all grew up with.
2.5 / 5
Reassembled under a single banner for yet another ballsy testosterone-fuelled adventure full of bulging biceps, bombastic bazookas and a stupendously high body count, Sylvester Stallone (66), Arnold Schwarzenegger (65), Bruce Willis (57), Dolph Lundgren (55), Jet Li (49), Randy Couture (49), Jason Statham (45) and Terry Crews (44) are joined by veterans Chuck Norris (72) and Jean-Claude Van Damme (52) and rookie Liam Hemsworth (22) in a wildly preposterous and cringe-corny offering, where its only recommendation is that it is marginally better to its 2010 predecessor.
Commissioned three months before the first installments release, the Expendables success proved Stallone's idea worked but took itself just a little too seriously under his direction. Enthusiastically welcoming Con Air Director Simon West, Expendables 2 understands its place as a ham-fisted, tongue-in-cheek blast that pokes fun at its mature-aged tough-guy hunks that play almost caricatures of their infamous selves to capitalize on audience nostalgia.
Don't worry about the plot, they sure didn't. As expected the storyline is completely incidental and irrelevant to high octane havoc, but it better be touched on all the same.
After an exquisitely over the top opening sequence, where the fearless expendable pack of mercenaries and their catchphrase ornamented armored vehicles of mass destruction scream into a Nepalese village to dispatch legions of solders and rescue an unlikely allies, Ross (Stallone) and his crew are ready for some down time.
The mandatory rest period is interrupted however when CIA agent Mr. Church (Bruce Willis) reminds Ross about an unpaid debt and the gang is conscripted to a seemingly simple extraction job and forced to accept the unwelcomed assistance of code-breaker Maggie (Nan Yu).
When one of their colleagues is cruelly murdered by the villainous Jean Vilain (Jean Claude Van Dame), with the odds stacked against them the hired guns negligently enter hostile Russian territory in single minded revenge mode.
Using brute force and zigzagging path of destruction through unfamiliar and raw land, the crew attempt to foil Vilain's plans of extracting five tons of weapons-grade plutonium from its concealed underground location and maintain the delicate balance of power in the world. With the help of a few lone friends, can they terminate Vilain? (ok, a stretching pun)
Flexing their still surprisingly taut muscles, the Kings of the '80's action workhorses unite in a genuine show of camaraderie. Rattling off an never ending barrage of self-deprecating and pricelessly cheeky one-lines in a mélange of undecipherable accents; the mono-syllabic Muscles-from-Brussels, the resonant boom of the Austrian Oak, the snarl of The Siberian Bull and the graveled drawl of The Italian Stallion, It's a veritable field-day for quote lovers.
Sidestepping the need for a spoiler alert, a collective of well-known quotes range from 'I can't get it up' to 'Track 'em, find 'em, kill 'em' and even 'If I don't get this back, you're terminated.' the fast and thick retorts are well timed. As Willis finally puts his foot down claiming "You've been back enough. I'll be back," Arnie's grinning reply "Yippee-ki-yay" is nothing less than perfect.
The Verdict: Bones may creak, hair plugs may be viable, skin may look like boot leather and their grandchildren may be old enough to see their movies unaccompanied, but these guys still have it; but what it is may be questionable. All I can say, without a shadow of a doubt ''They'll be back" and next-time will Seagal relent and round out the male pattern badness. A guilty pleasure if there ever was one.
Published: The Queanbeyan Age
Date of Publication: 07/09/2012