Colin Theys Director Molly Ringwald Madame Frechette Actor Wyatt Ralff Felix Funicello Actor Danny Nucci Pop Actor Meat Loaf Monsignor Muldoon Actor Annabella Sciorra Ma Actor Cheri Oteri Sister Dymphna Actor Conchata Ferrell Sister Agrippina Actor Camila Banus Simone Funicello Actor Krysta Rodriguez Annette Funicello Actor Chevy Chase Narrator Blanche Baker Mother Filomena Actor Siobhan Cohen Zhenya Actor John Doolan Screenwriter