Charlie Sheen Charlie Harper Actor Jon Cryer Alan Harper Actor Angus T. Jones Jake Harper Actor Holland Taylor Evelyn Harper Actor Conchata Ferrell Berta Actor Jennifer Taylor Chelsea Guest Star Katy Mixon Betsy Guest Star Arthur Darbinyan Joe the Cab Driver Guest Star Arturo Gil Ed Guest Star Joe Gieb Ted Guest Star Kevin Bickford Clown Guest Star Marc Mazur Strong Man Guest Star Jackie Zane Bearded Lady Guest Star Haitao Duan Chinese Acrobat 1 Guest Star Di Guan Chinese Acrobat 2 Guest Star Verne Troyer Circus Midget Guest Star Chuck Lorre Executive Producer, Writer Lee Aronsohn Executive Producer, Writer Eric Tannenbaum Executive Producer Kim Tannenbaum Executive Producer Mark Burg Executive Producer Oren Koules Executive Producer Don Foster Writer Eddie Gorodetsky Writer Susan Beavers Writer Jim Patterson Writer James Widdoes Director