Alicia Witt

Ms. Burns says: Who was it who said 'Adversity is the stone on which I sharpen my blade?

Ms. Burns says: Is it that obvious I'm sleepin' with him?

Brenda says: Now...didn't you tell me...that you were having a little difficulty...forgiving yourself? I thought...as a friend...I could help you out in that department. Payback's a bitch! Isn't it?

Brenda says: Now, didn't you tell me that you were having a little difficulty forgiving yourself? I thought, as a friend, I could help you out in that department. Payback's a bitch! Isn't it?

Natalie says: Brenda, please, you need to get help.

Brenda says: I have already tried therapy! Obviously, it did me no good. And I must say...I am kind of enjoying all this...playing with your pretty little head. You used an urban legend to kill my boyfriend. And now-

Brenda says: I have already tried therapy! Obviously, it did me no good. And I must say, I am kind of enjoying all this...playing with your pretty little head. You used an urban legend to kill my boyfriend. And now-

Natalie says: What are you gonna do?

Brenda says: Oh, just my favorite U.L. - The Kidney Heist. You do know this one, don't you? Guy gets picked up by a woman at a bar. She takes him back to her hotel room...Fixes him a drink. Boom; knocked out. When he wakes up, he's in a bathtub full of ice...and he realizes that one of his kidneys has been removed. Supposedly they sell them on the black market. I don't think it's ever actually happened though...Till tonight.

Brenda says: Oh, just my favorite U.L. The Kidney Heist. You do know this one, don't you? Guy gets picked up by a woman at a bar. She takes him back to her hotel room. Fixes him a drink. Boom; knocked out. When he wakes up, he's in a bathtub full of ice, and he realizes that one of his kidneys has been removed. Supposedly they sell them on the black market. I don't think it's ever actually happened though. Till tonight.

Brenda says: I must say, Natalie...you have proved your friendship to me...coming all the way out here to rescue me...without even a little pepper spray to defend yourself...Very endearing. Excuse me? I'm sorry, but I can't understand a thing you're saying, doll. Now, if I remove the gag...you have got to promise me...that you won't scream. Lord knows I had enough of that with Sasha.

Brenda says: I must say, Natalie you have proved your friendship to me, coming all the way out here to rescue me, without even a little pepper spray to defend yourself. Very endearing. Excuse me? I'm sorry, but I can't understand a thing you're saying, doll. Now, if I remove the gag you have got to promise me that you won't scream. Lord knows I had enough of that with Sasha.

Natalie says: (Brenda removes the gag from Natalie's mouth) - You're fu**ing crazy!

Natalie says: (Brenda removes the gag from Natalie's mouth) You're fu**ing crazy!

Brenda says: I prefer the term "eccentric"...but...yeah...I guess you could say I'm a little nutty.

Brenda says: I prefer the term 'eccentric', but...yeah...I guess you could say I'm a little nutty.

Natalie says: (talking to Brenda about a horrible incident from her past) - We were in my car one night. Michelle was driving. The story about the gang high beam initiation had been going around. Michelle wanted to play a practical joke...so she turned the headlights off...and waited for the first car to pass by and flash us. When someone finally did...she made a U-turn and...Started chasing him...flashing her high beams, laughing. I was laughing, too, at first...then we started going really fast. I wanted to tell her to stop...but I just sat there. And then the other car lost control and ran off the road. He was our age. By the time the ambulance came, he was already dead. The courts were lenient with us. We just got probation. I was never able to forgive her for what she did. I guess I couldn't forgive myself for not doing something more to stop it.

Natalie says: (talking to Brenda about a horrible incident from her past) We were in my car one night. Michelle was driving. The story about the gang high beam initiation had been going around. Michelle wanted to play a practical joke, so she turned the headlights off and waited for the first car to pass by and flash us. When someone finally did she made a U-turn and. Started chasing him, flashing her high beams, laughing. I was laughing, too, at first then we started going really fast. I wanted to tell her to stop, but I just sat there. And then the other car lost control and ran off the road. He was our age. By the time the ambulance came, he was already dead. The courts were lenient with us. We just got probation. I was never able to forgive her for what she did. I guess I couldn't forgive myself for not doing something more to stop it.

Paul says: What was all that about..."Reckless endangerment"? We're not exactly talking about running a stop sign here, are we now?

Paul says: What was all that about, 'reckless endangerment'? We're not exactly talking about running a stop sign here, are we now?

Natalie says: I really don't wanna talk about it.

Paul says: Oh, okay, what do you want to talk about? My career options without a body of writing samples...Because for your information, they're kind of limited.

Paul says: Oh, okay, what do you want to talk about? My career options without a body of writing samples, Because for your information, they're kind of limited.

Natalie says: It was in high school. It's over.

Paul says: Look. Does this have something to do with Michelle Mancini? Hey, I just wanna know what's going on here...'cause I don't know if I buy it anymore. I don't know if I ever bought it.

Paul says: Look. Does this have something to do with Michelle Mancini? Hey, I just wanna know what's going on here 'cause I don't know if I buy it anymore. I don't know if I ever bought it.

Dean Adams says: You two break in to a professor's office...and then have the audacity to accuse him of murder?

Dean Adams says: You two break in to a professor's office, and then have the audacity to accuse him of murder?

Natalie says: We found the axe.

Professor Wexler says: That is a prop I use in my folklore class. How can you even suggest that I had anything to do with that girl's death?

Natalie says: Tonight's the 25th anniversary.

Paul says: What's that got to do with anything?

Natalie says: The Stanley Hall Massacre.

Paul says: I told you, that story is not true.

Natalie says: Are you sure?

Natalie says: (talking about Tosh's death the night before) - There was someone else in that room. "Aren't you glad you didn't turn on the lights," for Christ's sake?

Natalie says: (talking about Tosh's death the night before) There was someone else in that room. 'Aren't you glad you didn't turn on the lights,' for Christ's sake?

Dean Adams says: (in denial) - A very morbid suicide note.

Dean Adams says: (in denial) A very morbid suicide note.

Dean Adams says: Did you know Tosh was manic-depressive?

Natalie says: She painted half the room black. I had a pretty good idea.

Sasha says: (while Natalie and Sasha are looking through a book about urban myths) - Wait a second. This is definitely not a myth!

Sasha says: (while Natalie and Sasha are looking through a book about urban myths) Wait a second. This is definitely not a myth!

Natalie says: What?

Sasha says: The "Gang High Beam Initiation." It happens all the time. Gang members drive around at night with their headlights off. And when someone goes to flash their high beams to warn them, they kill them. That's why I never warn anybody about anything when I drive.

Sasha says: The 'Gang High Beam Initiation.' It happens all the time. Gang members drive around at night with their headlights off. And when someone goes to flash their high beams to warn them, they kill them. That's why I never warn anybody about anything when I drive.

Natalie says: (crying) - It's like someone out there is taking all these stories...and making them reality?

Natalie says: (crying) It's like someone out there is taking all these stories, and making them reality?

Parker says: Then my big question is, what is he gonna do next? Maybe put spider eggs in bubble gum or ram a gerbil up a celebrity's ass.

Parker says: (about Damon's ordeal and disappearance) - It was a mannequin. Damon uses it all the time to scare pledges during hazing. He also has this life-size blow-up doll. But you don't wanna know about that.

Parker says: (about Damon's ordeal and disappearance) It was a mannequin. Damon uses it all the time to scare pledges during hazing. He also has this life-size blow-up doll. But you don't wanna know about that.

Natalie says: It wasn't a mannequin...Damon was dead.

Natalie says: It wasn't a mannequin. Damon was dead.

Parker says: Come on. Damon is the best practical joker on this campus, all right? He once convinced a freshman he was the middle Hanson brother to get laid.

Damon says: (after Natalie shares a story with Damon about the loss of her friend) - You're lonely. You're repressed. You're aching to break loose. Those are the type of problems that only a man can fix.

Damon says: (after Natalie shares a story with Damon about the loss of her friend) You're lonely. You're repressed. You're aching to break loose. Those are the type of problems that only a man can fix.

Natalie says: (sees that Damon is faking his feelings; and just wants to get laid) - And I suppose you're that man?

Natalie says: (sees that Damon is faking his feelings; and just wants to get laid) And I suppose you're that man?

Damon says: Well, you know?

Natalie says: Nice try. That was a fairly good impersonation of a human being.

Damon says: I understand you're afraid. But you don't have to be afraid anymore. You don't have to be afraid to love. (He leans in for a kiss)

Natalie says: (she punches Damon in the face) - Start the car right now!

Natalie says: (she punches Damon in the face) Start the car right now!

Damon says: Okay, that hurt. I'm just trying to help you out here. You don't have to act like such a bitch.

Natalie says: It's not an act. Believe me.

Damon says: You sure you don't wanna think this over...'Cause I'm all about healing.

Damon says: You sure you don't wanna think this over 'Cause I'm all about healing.

Natalie says: One black eye or two? You decide.

Damon says: All right, fine. I'm gonna take a piss. I'll be right back.

Natalie says: Pig.

Damon says: Parker said he's gonna pierce Hootie's nose.

Natalie says: Hootie's a dog.

Damon says: Yeah, there's no reason he can't be hip.

Brenda says: (about the girl who was murdered) - Hey did anyone here know her? She roomed in Daley.

Brenda says: (about the girl who was murdered) Hey did anyone here know her? She roomed in Daley.

Parker says: No.

Sasha says: No.

Brenda says: (Brenda sees Natalie daydreaming) - Hello? (Snaps her fingers) ...Space cadet?

Brenda says: (Brenda sees Natalie daydreaming) Hello? (Snaps her fingers) Space cadet?

Natalie says: Oh, no, I didn't know her.

Damon says: Actually, you know, I did know her.

Sasha says: You did?

Damon says: (looks saddened) - Yeah...I'll miss her, too, 'cause...that girl gave great head. (Starts laughing) You get it? She gave great head. (Laughs) Come on...That was good.

Damon says: (looks saddened) Yeah, I'll miss her, too, 'cause that girl gave great head. (Starts laughing) You get it? She gave great head. (Laughs) Come on, that was good.

Paul says: (a police woman and the dean are taking away all the newspapers from the stand) - What do you think you're doing? You can't just come and take every copy here.

Paul says: (a police woman and the dean are taking away all the newspapers from the stand) What do you think you're doing? You can't just come and take every copy here.

Dean Adams says: You're the one that wrote this inflammatory piece of rubbish.

Paul says: Well actually, the fatuous quotes about being deeply shocked and heartsick...are yours, Dean Adams?

Paul says: Well actually, the fatuous quotes about being deeply shocked and heartsick. Are yours, Dean Adams?

Dean Adams says: Let me tell you something, young man. The only lunatic on this campus is you.

Paul says: I'm flattered. Can I quote you on that?

Reese says: I have a quote for you. "U.S. News and World Report"...named Pendleton the safest university in this country. And you best believe, I intend to keep it that way.

Reese says: I have a quote for you. 'U.S. News and World Report', named Pendleton the safest university in this country. And you best believe, I intend to keep it that way.

Paul says: Thank you, Reese. I'll make sure...and stick that in the special school safety edition. (Paul walks over to Natalie and Brenda) ...Hold on a second. How about some interviews, you know? Students react to the tragedy on campus.

Paul says: Thank you, Reese. I'll make sure, and stick that in the special school safety edition. (Paul walks over to Natalie and Brenda) Hold on a second. How about some interviews, you know? Students react to the tragedy on campus.

Brenda says: (smiles) - Okay, I am saddened and moved by--

Brenda says: (smiles) Okay, I am saddened and moved by-

Natalie says: (cuts Brenda off) - This was someone's life. Did you even spend one minute thinking about that?

Natalie says: (cuts Brenda off) This was someone's life. Did you even spend one minute thinking about that?

Paul says: No, I didn't...But because of my story, 3,500 students will...I think that's enough to help me sleep at night.

Paul says: No, I didn't. But because of my story, 3,500 students will. I think that's enough to help me sleep at night.

Tosh says: (Natalie walks in on Tosh while she's having sex) - Shut off the fu**ing light.

Tosh says: (Natalie walks in on Tosh while she's having sex) Shut off the fu**ing light.

Natalie says: (embarrassed) - Sorry.

Natalie says: (embarrassed) Sorry.

Natalie says: (after Damon pops up and scares Natalie and Brenda) - She was trying to summon the dead, Damon...not frat boys with badly grown facial hair.

Natalie says: (after Damon pops up and scares Natalie and Brenda) She was trying to summon the dead, Damon, not frat boys with badly grown facial hair.

Damon says: It took me a month to grow this.

Brenda says: So is this what you do for your free time, Damon? Hang out in the dark by yourself, waiting to scare people like a freak?

Damon says: Only when I see two losers stand in front of this relic...trying to summon the dead.

Damon says: Only when I see two losers stand in front of this relic, trying to summon the dead.

Brenda says: Now what exactly happens when I say "Bloody Mary" five times?

Brenda says: Now what exactly happens when I say 'Bloody Mary' five times?

Natalie says: The person standing next to you wonders how you got into college.