Dustin Hoffman

Dustin Hoffman

Highest Rated: 100% Death of a Salesman (1985)

Lowest Rated: 9% Little Fockers (2010)

Birthday: Aug 08, 1937

Birthplace: Los Angeles, California, USA

Dustin Hoffman emerged as a key figure in the Hollywood Renaissance period of the 1960s and 1970s, personifying identifiable misfits and antiheroes in films embraced by a new breed of filmgoer. After struggling on and off Broadway, the Strasberg-trained actor rocketed to fame as the star of director Mike Nichols' seminal "The Graduate" (1967). Chameleon-like characters in such diverse efforts as "Midnight Cowboy" (1969), "Little Big Man" (1970), "Straw Dogs" (1971) and "Papillon" (1973) solidified his growing reputation. The one-two punch of the hits "All the President's Men" (1976) and "Marathon Man" (1976) proved Hoffman could deliver at the box office as well. More so than any other actor of the period, he pleased critics and fans alike with his performances in "Kramer vs. Kramer" (1979), "Tootsie" (1982) and "Rain Man" (1988), winning Best Actor Oscars for two of these three nominated performances. Over the decades that followed, Hoffman divided his energies between strong supporting work in projects like "Sleepers" (1996) and sharing top-billing with fellow heavy weights like Robert De Niro in such films as "Wag the Dog" (1997). In the new millennium, he enjoyed a creative and commercial resurgence with a run of playful comic performances in "I [Heart] Huckabees" (2004), "Meet the Fockers" (2004), and the hit animated feature "Kung Fu Panda" (2008). He also appeared in the sequeles to the latter film, "Kung Fu Panda 2" (2011) and "Kung Fu Panda 3" (2016), in addition to roles in Jon Favreau's "Chef" (2014) and the critically acclaimed "The Meyerowitz Stories" (2017). Hoffman boasted a film career that spanned more than four decades and consistently delved into new creative territory, validating his status as one of the most gifted actors of his generation or any other.

Photos

Highest Rated Movies

Filmography

Movies

Credit
No Score Yet 60% Into the Labyrinth Dottor Green (Character) - 2019
90% 60% Hal Himself (Character) $32.7K 2018
92% 72% The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected) Harold (Character) - 2017
92% 90% Spielberg Himself (Character) - 2017
87% 78% Kung Fu Panda 3 Shifu (Voice) $143.5M 2016
No Score Yet 72% Esio Trot Mr Hoppy (Character) - 2015
62% 43% The Program Bob Hamman (Character) - 2015
87% 85% Chef Riva (Character) $31.2M 2014
45% 59% Boychoir Master Carvelle (Character) - 2014
10% 36% The Cobbler Abraham Simkin (Character) - 2014
80% 66% Quartet Director,
Executive Producer
$18.4M 2012
81% 74% Kung Fu Panda 2 Shifu (Voice) - 2011
67% 63% Jews and Baseball: An American Love Story Narrator - 2010
9% 34% Little Fockers Bernie Focker (Character) $148.4M 2010
78% 78% Barney's Version Izzy (Character) $7.5M 2010
No Score Yet No Score Yet Against the Tide Narrator - 2009
71% 53% Last Chance Harvey Harvey Shine (Character) $14.9M 2008
57% 44% The Tale of Despereaux Roscuro (Voice) - 2008
87% 83% Kung Fu Panda Master Shifu (Voice) $143.5M 2008
94% 80% Visual Acoustics: The Modernism of Julius Shulman Narrator $102.5K 2008
38% 55% Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium Mr. Magorium (Character) $32.1M 2007
73% 85% Stranger Than Fiction Dr. Jules Hilbert (Character) $40.1M 2006
59% 74% Perfume: The Story of a Murderer Guiseppe Baldini (Character) $2.2M 2006
35% 42% Racing Stripes Tucker (Voice) $49.2M 2005
25% 64% The Lost City Meyer Lansky (Character) $2.5M 2005
39% 58% Meet the Fockers Mr. Focker (Character) $279.2M 2004
63% 75% I Heart Huckabees Bernard Jaffe (Character) $12.8M 2004
83% 87% Finding Neverland Charles Frohman (Character) $51.7M 2004
69% 70% Confidence Winston King (Character) $12.2M 2003
73% 75% Runaway Jury Wendall Rohr (Character) $49.4M 2003
63% 66% Moonlight Mile Ben Floss (Character) $6.8M 2002
30% 58% The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc The Conscience (Character) $14.3M 1999
No Score Yet 68% The Devil's Arithmetic Executive Producer - 1999
72% 71% A Walk on the Moon Producer $4.7M 1999
11% 38% Sphere Dr. Norman Goodman (Character) $37M 1998
85% 76% Wag the Dog Stanley Motss (Character) $43M 1997
36% 42% Mad City Max Brackett (Character) $10.6M 1997
73% 85% Sleepers Danny Snyder (Character) $53.3M 1996
74% 45% American Buffalo Walt 'Teach' Teacher (Character) $632.1K 1996
60% 56% Outbreak Col. Sam Daniels (Character) $65.9M 1995
No Score Yet No Score Yet Jonas in the Desert Unknown (Character) - 1994
67% 50% Hero Bernie Laplante (Character) $18.2M 1992
29% 76% Hook Captain James S. Hook (Character) $116.3M 1991
38% 28% Billy Bathgate Dutch Schultz (Character) $15.5M 1991
63% 53% Dick Tracy Mumbles (Character) $103.7M 1990
38% 27% Family Business Vito (Character) $11.1M 1989
89% 90% Rain Man Raymond 'Ray' Babbitt (Character) $171.2M 1988
37% 39% Ishtar Chuck Clarke (Character) $12.7M 1987
100% 75% Death of a Salesman Willy Loman (Character) - 1985
No Score Yet No Score Yet Private Conversations Unknown (Character) - 1985
90% 81% Tootsie Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels (Character) - 1982
71% 60% Agatha Wally Stanton (Character) - 1979
88% 89% Kramer vs. Kramer Ted Kramer (Character) - 1979
75% 83% Straight Time Max Dembo (Character),
Producer
- 1978
81% 81% Marathon Man Thomas Levy (Character) - 1976
94% 92% All the President's Men Carl Bernstein (Character) - 1976
88% 88% Lenny Lenny Bruce (Character) - 1974
79% 90% Papillon Louis Dega (Character) - 1973
No Score Yet 47% Alfredo, Alfredo Alfredo Sbisà (Character) - 1972
No Score Yet 34% Who Is Harry Kellerman and Why Is He Saying Those Terrible Things About Me? Georgie Soloway (Character) - 1971
83% 82% Straw Dogs David Sumner (Character) - 1971
96% 87% Little Big Man Jack Crabb/Little Big Man (Character) - 1970
42% 53% John and Mary John (Character) - 1969
88% 88% Midnight Cowboy Enrico Salvatore "Ratso" Rizzo (Character) $201K 1969
87% 90% The Graduate Benjamin Braddock (Character) $285.8K 1967
No Score Yet 18% Madigan's Millions Jason Fister (Character) - 1967

TV

Credit
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Late Late Show With James Corden Guest 2017
No Score Yet No Score Yet Charlie Rose Guest 2017 2013
No Score Yet No Score Yet Celebrity Page Guest 2017
No Score Yet No Score Yet Good Morning America Guest 2017 2013
No Score Yet 58% The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Guest 2017
No Score Yet 84% Medici Giovanni de' Medici (Character) 2016
No Score Yet No Score Yet Finding Your Roots Guest 2016
No Score Yet No Score Yet Today Guest 2016 2011 2008
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Graham Norton Show Unknown (Guest Star),
Guest
2014 2012 2007
No Score Yet No Score Yet Live! With Kelly and Michael Guest 2013
82% 82% Luck Chester "Ace" Bernstein (Character),
Producer
2012
No Score Yet No Score Yet Entertainment Studios.com Guest 2007-2009
No Score Yet No Score Yet Lyons & Bailes Reel Talk Guest 2009
No Score Yet No Score Yet Jimmy Kimmel Live! Guest 2009
No Score Yet No Score Yet Late Night With Conan O'Brien Guest 2008
No Score Yet No Score Yet Live With Regis and Kelly Guest 2008
No Score Yet No Score Yet CBS News Sunday Morning Guest 2008
No Score Yet No Score Yet Entertainers: With Byron Allen Guest 2007-2008
No Score Yet No Score Yet Studio Spotlight Unknown (Character) 2008
No Score Yet No Score Yet Kickin' It: With Byron Allen Guest 2008
No Score Yet No Score Yet Rachael Ray Guest 2007
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Guest 2006
92% 95% Curb Your Enthusiasm Larry's Guide 1 (Guest Star) 2005
No Score Yet 76% The Simpsons Mr. Bergstrom (as Sam Etic) (Guest Voice) 1991
No Score Yet No Score Yet What's My Line? Guest 1968

QUOTES FROM Dustin Hoffman CHARACTERS

Shifu says: If You only do what you can, You will never be more than you are now.

Shifu says: Time is just an illusion, there is only the now.

Ted Kramer says: I came home to share with my wife one of the five best days of my life, and she tells me that she doesn't want to live with me anymore! Do you know what she's done?

Margaret Phelps says: Yes, she loused up one of the five best days of your life.

Chuck Clarke says: Gaddafi, is that near here?

Babe Levy says: Is it Szell's?

Mr. Maguire says: There is a great future in plastics. Think about it. Will you think about it?

Benjamin Braddock says: Yes, I will.

Mr. Maguire says: Okay. Enough said. That's a deal.

Mr. Braddock says: Have you thought about graduate school?

Benjamin Braddock says: No.

Mr. Braddock says: Would you mind telling me then what those four years of college were for? What was the point of all that hard work?

Benjamin Braddock says: You got me.

Benjamin Braddock says: It's like I was playing some kind of game, but the rules don't make any sense to me. They're being made up by all the wrong people. I mean no one makes them up. They seem to make themselves up.

Mr. Braddock says: What makes you think she wants to marry you?

Benjamin Braddock says: Oh, she doesn't. To be perfectly honest, she doesn't like me.

Elaine Robinson says: Good night.

Benjamin Braddock says: Are we getting married tomorrow?

Elaine Robinson says: No...

Benjamin Braddock says: Day after tomorrow?

Elaine Robinson says: I don't know. Maybe we are, and maybe we're not.

Benjamin Braddock says: Mrs. Robinson, I can't do this anymore.

Mrs. Robinson says: You what?

Benjamin Braddock says: This is all terribly wrong.

Mrs. Robinson says: Do you find me undesirable?

Benjamin Braddock says: Oh no, Mrs. Robinson. I think you're the most attractive of all my parents' friends. I mean that.

Benjamin Braddock says: Look, maybe we could do something else together. Mrs. Robinson, would you like to go to a movie?

Benjamin Braddock says: Listen to me. What happened between Mrs. Robinson and me was nothing. It didn't mean anything. We might just as well have been shaking hands.

Mr. Braddock says: Shaking hands? Well, that's not saying much for my wife, is it?

Benjamin Braddock says: Mrs. Robinson, if you don't mind my saying so, this conversation is getting a little strange.

Mrs. Robinson says: Benjamin, I am not trying to seduce you.

Benjamin Braddock says: I know that, but please, Mrs. Robinson, this is difficult...

Mrs. Robinson says: Would you like me to seduce you?

Benjamin Braddock says: What?

Mrs. Robinson says: Is that what you're trying to tell me?

Benjamin Braddock says: I'm going home now. I apologize for what I said. I hope you can forget it, but I'm going home right now.

Benjamin Braddock says: Where did you do it?

Mrs. Robinson says: In his car.

Benjamin Braddock says: What kind of car was it?

Mrs. Robinson says: Oh, come on now.

Benjamin Braddock says: No, I really want to know.

Mrs. Robinson says: A Ford.

Benjamin Braddock says: Goddamn, that's great. So old Elaine Robinson got started in a Ford.

Benjamin Braddock says: I'm just...

Mr. Braddock says: Worried?

Benjamin Braddock says: Well...

Mr. Braddock says: About what?

Benjamin Braddock says: I guess about my future.

Mr. Braddock says: What about it?

Benjamin Braddock says: I don't know, I want it to be...Different.

Benjamin Braddock says: Well, I want you to know how much I appreciate this. Really.

Mrs. Robinson says: The number.

Benjamin Braddock says: What?

Mrs. Robinson says: The room number, Benjamin. I think you ought to tell me that.

Benjamin Braddock says: Oh, you're absolutely right. It's 568.

Mrs. Robinson says: Thank you.

Benjamin Braddock says: You're welcome. Well, I'll see you later, Mrs. Robinson.

Harold Crick says: You just said ten seconds ago, you wouldn't help me.

Professor Jules Hilbert says: It's been a very revealing ten seconds.

Po says: But I just got kung fu

Master Shifu says: Now you have to protect it!

Joan's conscience says: I can't save this movie. I can only stink it up even more.

Max Brackett says: I fooled you into thinking I'm a great actor.

Max Brackett says: I am a profoundly boring actor.

Stanley Motss says: Good news he's alive! ( Heres gunshot ) Strike that!

Stanley Motss says: Good news he's alive! Strike that!

Mr. Braddock says: Ben, this whole idea sounds pretty half baked.

Benjamin Braddock says: No, it's not. It's completely baked.

Benjamin Braddock says: Listen to me. What happened between Mrs. Robinson and me was nothing. It didn't mean anything. We might just as well have been shaking hands.

Mr. Robinson says: Shaking hands? Well, that's not saying much for my wife, is it?

Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels says: What kind of mother would I be if I didn't give my girls tits... tips?

Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels says: What kind of mother would I be if I didn't give my girls tits, tips?

Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels says: What kind of mother would I be if I didn't give my girls tits tips?

Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo says: I'm walking here! I'm walking here!

Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo says: The two natural items to sustain life are sunlight and coconut milk. Did you know that?

Billy Kramer says: I like Boston.

Ted Kramer says: Boston? Why do you like Boston?

Billy Kramer says: 'Cause Mommy's from Boston.

Ted Kramer says: Is that what you think? No. That's not it, Billy. Your mom loves you very much... and the reason she left has nothing to do with you. I don't know if this will make sense, but I'll try to explain it to you. I think the reason why Mommy left... was because for a long time... I kept trying to make her be a certain kind of person. A certain kind of wife that I thought she was supposed to be. And she just wasn't like that. She was... She just wasn't like that. I think that she tried for so long to make me happy... and when she couldn't, she tried to talk to me about it. But I wasn't listening. I was too busy, too wrapped up... just thinking about myself. And I thought that anytime I was happy, she was happy. But I think underneath she was very sad. Mommy stayed here longer than she wanted because she loves you so much. And the reason why Mommy couldn't stay anymore... was because she couldn't stand me. She didn't leave because of you. She left because of me. Go to sleep now because it's really late, okay? Good night. Sleep tight

Billy Kramer says: We need cereal

Billy Kramer says: We need cereal.

Ted Kramer says: Okay, what color?

Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo says: You know, in my own place, my name ain't Ratso. I mean, it just so happens that in my own place my name is Enrico Salvatore Rizzo

Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo says: You know, in my own place, my name ain't Ratso. I mean, it just so happens that in my own place my name is Enrico Salvatore Rizzo.

Joe Buck says: Well, I can't say all that

Joe Buck says: Well, I can't say all that.

Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo says: Rico, then.

Po says: No, master! Don't die!

Master Shifu says: *closes eyes*

Po says: NO!

Master Shifu says: I'm not dying you idiot! I'm relaxing!

Jack Banning says: Dad, I want to go home.

Captain James Hook says: What are you talking about? You are home.

Joe Buck says: [wearing glasses] Guess who I am?

Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo says: Who?

Joe Buck says: [takes off glasses and laughs] It's me!

Party Guest says: [to Ratso] I'm just gonna lick the sweat off of you.

Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo says: JUST GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME!

Party Guest says: WELL, YOU LOOK HOT!

Party Guest says: What's the matter? How did you get crippled?

Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo says: I slipped on a banana peel. Come on, I gotta sit down; I feel crummy.

Party Guest says: What's the matter?

Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo says: Take your hands off of me!

Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo says: [about his failing health] I'm fallin' apart here!

At the Party says: [after Joe and Rizzo show up] Well, if you need anything, there's beer and stuff behind you. Anything you want.

Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo says: Oh, Jesus!

At the Party says: [random partygoer describing his hair] My hair - it's fur, you know? It's tendrils reaching out into space and times. I've watched it touch many stars.

Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo says: Wackos. They're all wackos.

Mr. Edward Magorium Avid Shoe Wearer says: I fell so completely in love with these shoes, I bought enough pairs to last my whole lifetime. This is my last pair.

Mr. Edward Magorium Avid Shoe Wearer says: There are a million things one might do with a block of wood. But what do you think might happen if someone, just once, believed in it?

Mr. Edward Magorium Avid Shoe Wearer says: Turn the page, continue reading, and let the next story begin...

Mr. Edward Magorium Avid Shoe Wearer says: A stroke, you unbrookable ninny. The only stroke I have ever had is one of genius.

Molly Mahoney the Composer says: Are you dying?

Mr. Edward Magorium Avid Shoe Wearer says: Light bulbs die, my sweet. I will depart.

Molly Mahoney the Composer says: Thirty-seven seconds. Great, well done. Now we wait.

Mr. Edward Magorium Avid Shoe Wearer says: No, we breathe, we pulse, we regenerate. our hearts beat, our minds create, our souls ingest. Thirty-seven seconds well used is a lifetime.

Mr. Edward Magorium Avid Shoe Wearer says: When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written "He dies." That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is "He dies." It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "He dies." but because of the life we saw prior to the words. I've lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I'm only asking that you turn the page, continue reading... and let the next story begin. And if anyone asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder, and end it with a simple and modest "He died."

Mr. Edward Magorium Avid Shoe Wearer says: When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written "He dies." That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is "He dies." It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "He dies." but because of the life we saw prior to the words. I've lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I'm only asking that you turn the page, continue reading... and let the next story begin. And if anyone asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder, and end it with a simple and modest 'He died.'

Mr. Edward Magorium Avid Shoe Wearer says: When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written 'He dies.' That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is 'He dies.' It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "He dies." but because of the life we saw prior to the words. I've lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I'm only asking that you turn the page, continue reading... and let the next story begin. And if anyone asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder, and end it with a simple and modest 'He died.'

Mr. Edward Magorium Avid Shoe Wearer says: When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written 'He dies.' That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is 'He dies.' It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words 'He dies.' but because of the life we saw prior to the words. I've lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I'm only asking that you turn the page, continue reading... and let the next story begin. And if anyone asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder, and end it with a simple and modest 'He died.'

Mr. Edward Magorium Avid Shoe Wearer says: Your life is an occasion. Rise to it.

Stanley Motss says: Money? You think I did this for money?? I want the credit.

Stanley Motss says: Money? You think I did this for money? I want the credit.

Charlie Babbitt says: Did you fart?

Raymond Babbitt says: Yes I did.

Charlie Babbitt says: How can you stand that?

Raymond Babbitt says: No I don't mind it.

Raymond Babbitt says: Kmart sucks

Raymond Babbitt says: Kmart sucks.

Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo says: I'm walkin' here! I'm walkin' here!

Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels says: I was a better man with you as a woman than I ever was with a woman as a man

Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels says: I was a better man with you as a woman than I ever was with a woman as a man.

Master Shifu says: Tai Lung has escaped from Chorh-Gom Prison!

Oogway says: Oh, Shifu. There is just news. There is no good or bad.

Master Shifu says: Tai Lung has escaped from Chor Gom prison!

Oogway says: That IS bad news!

Captain James Hook says: MY JACK!!!

Captain James Hook says: MY JACK!

Peter Banning/Peter Pan says: My jack...

Captain James Hook says: No stopping me this time, Smee. This is it. Don't make a move Smee, not a step. My finger's on the trigger. Don't try to stop me, Smee.

Smee says: Oh, not again.

Captain James Hook says: This is it. Don't try to stop me this time, Smee. Don't try to stop me this time, Smee. Don't you dare try to stop me this time, Smee, try to stop me. Smee, you'd better get up off your ass. Get over here, Smee!

Mrs. Robinson says: '' Just because you happen to be inadequate. ''

Mrs. Robinson says: Just because you happen to be inadequate.

Benjamin Braddock says: '' Inadequate ! ''

Benjamin Braddock says: Inadequate!

Mrs. Robinson says: '' Well I guess I... ''

Mrs. Robinson says: Well I guess I...

Benjamin Braddock says: '' DON'T MOVE ! ''

Benjamin Braddock says: DON'T MOVE!

Professor Jules Hilbert says: Aren't you glad you're not a golem?

Harold Crick says: Yes. I am glad I'm not a golem.

Master Shifu says: I'm not dying, you idiot!

Master Shifu says: Yeah.

Benjamin Braddock says: Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. Aren't you?

Harold Crick says: Professor Hilbert, I'm an IRS agent. Everyone hates me.

Professor Jules Hilbert says: Right, good. Have you met anyone recently who might loathe the very core of you?

Professor Jules Hilbert says: Aren't you relieved to know you're not a Golem?

Harold Crick says: Yes. I am relieved to know that I am not a Golem.

Professor Jules Hilbert says: Good. [silence]

Professor Jules Hilbert says: [sighs] Do you have magical powers?

Professor Jules Hilbert says: You are not King Hamlet, Scout Finch, Miss Marple, Frankenstein's Monster...or a Golem.

Professor Jules Hilbert says: Agreed. Let's start with ridiculous and move backwards.

Joan's conscience says: You saw what you wanted to see.

Joan's conscience says: In the end it is you who abandoned him.

Joan's conscience says: When battle starts the pleasure begins. When do that pleasure begins with that sword in your hand?

Po says: You wanna get something to eat?

Master Shifu says: [sighing] ... Yeah.

Raymond Babbitt says: C-H-A-R-L-I-E. My main man.

Raymond Babbitt says: We have pepperoni pizza for dinner Monday nights.

Susannah says: Pizza? You get pizza in an institution?

Raymond Babbitt says: Monday night is Italian night.

Raymond Babbitt says: K-mart sucks.

Susannah says: How was that?

Raymond Babbitt says: Wet.

Raymond Babbitt says: Lights out at eleven.

Charlie Babbitt says: Yeah well, new rules!

Dr. (uncredited) says: Are you autistic?

Raymond Babbitt says: I don't think so. No, definitely not.

Susannah says: You use me, you use Raymond, you use everybody.

Charlie Babbitt says: Using Raymond? Hey Raymond, am I using you? Am I using you Raymond?

Raymond Babbitt says: Yeah.

Charlie Babbitt says: Shut up! He is answering a question from a half hour ago.

Jeff says: Mike, I really appreciate you're doing this, but it is just for the money. Isn't it? It's not just so you can wear these little outfits.

Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels says: I'm not even gonna answer that.

Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels says: I'm a potentially great actress.

April says: We're all so grateful to you.

Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels says: For?

April says: For your help and advice.

Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels says: Well, I really think of you, ahem, you all as my daughters and what kind of mother would I be, if I didn't give my girls tits. Tips. It's tips.

Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels says: Sandy, I want you.

Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels says: Oh my goodness!!

Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels says: Oh my goodness!

April says: What's wrong?

Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels says: I have to kiss Dr Brewster.

April says: Oh yeah. He kisses all the women on the show. We call him 'the Tongue'.

George Fields says: Michael, will you wait outside, please? I am talking to the coast.

Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels says: This is a coast too, George. New York is a coast too.

Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels says: I am a little nervous.

Julie says: Just think of them something friendly.

Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels says: What?

Julie says: Like a firing squad.

Captain James Hook says: I beg your pardon? .... You must be joking. Haha! It would seem Peter Pan has a real problem with *heights*.

Captain James Hook says: I beg your pardon? You must be joking. Haha! It would seem Peter Pan has a real problem with *heights*.

Lenny Bruce says: l'm not anti-Christ or anti-religion, l just think it's encouraging that people are leaving the Church and going back to God.

Master Shifu says: Unless Shen is stopped, this could be the end of Kung Fu.

Po says: Oh, hohohohoho. Awesome! How did you... do that?!

Master Shifu says: Inner peace.

Po says: Inner peace? That's cool! Inner peace of what?

Po says: How can kung fu stop something that stops kung fu?

Master Shifu says: Remember, Dragon Warrior, anything is possible when you have inner peace.

Jack Crabb says: "Might I ask who I are addressin'?

Jack Crabb says: Might I ask who I are addressin'?

Bernard Jaffe says: No time for infinity, have to piece together a theory?

Bernard Jaffe says: No time for infinity? Gotta piece together a theory?

Master Shifu says: Unless he is stopped, this could be the end of Kung Fu.

Master Shifu says: Panda, we do not wash our pits in the pool of sacred tears.

Master Shifu says: Panda, we do not wash our pits in the Pool of Sacred Tears.

Mr. Maguire says: Ben.

Benjamin Braddock says: Will you excuse me? (turning around) Mr. Maguire.

Benjamin Braddock says: Will you excuse me? [turning around] Mr. Maguire.

Mr. Maguire says: (shaking his head and smiling) Ben.

Mr. Maguire says: [shaking his head and smiling] Ben.

Benjamin Braddock says: Mr. Maguire.

Harvey Shine says: Today is tomorrow

Harvey Shine says: Today is tomorrow.

Master Shifu says: [pleased] It seems you have found inner peace, [unhappily] and at such a young age.

David says: Jesus, I got 'em all.

David says: Jesus. I got 'em all!

Tai Lung says: So where is this Po? [Laughs] Did I scare him off?

Master Shifu says: This battle is between you and me.

Tai Lung says: So, that is how it's going to be...

Master Shifu says: That is how it must be.

George Fields says: You're insane Michael.

Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels says: No I'm not. I'm employed