John Cleese
Highest Rated: 100% Assholes: A Theory (2019)
Lowest Rated: 4% The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002)
Birthday: Oct 27, 1939
Birthplace: Weston-super-Mare, Somerset, England
Family name was originally "Cheese", but his father changed it in 1915 to "Cleese" upon joining the British army. Was bullied at school because he was six feet tall by the age of twelve. Taught biology for two years at his old preparatory school before being admitted to Cambridge to study law. Performed with the Cambridge Footlights comedy group, where he met future Monty Python members Graham Chapman and Eric Idle. Wrote and performed in the comedy revue Cambridge Circus, which played off-Broadway in New York. Professional writing career began with The Dick Emery Show in 1963; later wrote for the satirical sketch show The Frost Report, which also featured Terry Jones and Michael Palin. Co-founded Monty Python's Flying Circus in 1969; co-wrote and appeared in the group's BBC series and their films, including Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Life of Brian. Starred in and co-wrote the sitcom Fawlty Towers. Has written several books, including Families and How to Survive Them. Has worked to save endangered lemurs and had a new species of lemur named after him. Served as a professor of comedy at Cornell University in New York. Known for his innovative slapstick routines and infantile character sketches. Received the BAFTA Award for 'Best Light Entertainment Performance' in 'Fawlty Towers' in 1980; the Primetime Emmy for 'Outstanding Guest Performer in a Comedy Series' for 'Cheers' in 1987; an Oscar nomination for writing 'A Fish Called Wanda' in 1988; and the BAFTA Award for 'Best Actor' in 'A Fish Called Wanda' in 1989. Has been married four times and divorced three times.
Photos
Highest Rated Movies
Filmography
Movies
| Credit | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 13% | Arctic Dogs | Otto Von Walrus | — | 2019 |
| 100% | Assholes: A Theory | Actor | — | 2019 |
| No Score Yet | Python at 50: Silly Talks and Holy Grails | Actor | — | 2019 |
| No Score Yet | The Naked Wanderer | Brian King | — | 2019 |
| 29% | Elliot The Littlest Reindeer | Actor | — | 2018 |
| 25% | Charming | Actor | — | 2018 |
| No Score Yet | Elliot : Le plus petit des rennes | Actor | — | 2017 |
| 18% | Absolutely Anything | Chief Alien | $0.7M | 2017 |
| No Score Yet | A.C.O.R.N.S.: Operation Crackdown (Get Squirrely) | Mr. Bellwood | — | 2016 |
| 76% | Trolls | King Gristles Sr. | $153.7M | 2016 |
| No Score Yet | The Enchanted Stallion | General Eeder | — | 2016 |
| 94% | The Last Impresario | Actor | — | 2014 |
| No Score Yet | Monty Python: The Meaning Of Live | Actor | — | 2014 |
| No Score Yet | Spud 3: Learning to Fly | Actor | — | 2014 |
| No Score Yet | Monty Python Live (Mostly) | Actor | $1.2M | 2014 |
| 26% | Planes | Bulldog | $71.3M | 2013 |
| No Score Yet | Spud 2: The Madness Continues | Mr. "The Guv"' Edly | — | 2013 |
| 44% | A Liar's Autobiography - The Untrue Story of Monty Python's Graham Chapman | Actor | — | 2012 |
| No Score Yet | God Loves Caviar | Actor | — | 2012 |
| 91% | Winnie the Pooh | Narrator | $26.7M | 2011 |
| No Score Yet | Beethoven's Christmas Adventure | Narrator | — | 2011 |
| No Score Yet | Monty Python: Almost the Truth - The Lawyers Cut | Actor | — | 2011 |
| 58% | Shrek Forever After | King | $238.4M | 2010 |
| 80% | Spud | Actor | — | 2010 |
| 22% | Planet 51 | Professor Kipple | $42.2M | 2009 |
| 12% | Pink Panther 2 | Chief Inspector Dreyfus | $36M | 2009 |
| No Score Yet | The Art Of Football | Actor Screenwriter | — | 2009 |
| No Score Yet | Monty Python Almost the Truth Obligatory Making of Special | Actor | — | 2009 |
| 21% | The Day the Earth Stood Still | Prof. Barnhardt | $79.2M | 2008 |
| 39% | Igor | Dr. Glickenstein | $19.5M | 2008 |
| No Score Yet | Monty Python: The Other British Invasion | Actor | — | 2008 |
| No Score Yet | Monty Python - Before & After | Actor | — | 2008 |
| 41% | Shrek the Third | King | $320.8M | 2007 |
| 78% | Charlotte's Web | Samuel | $82.2M | 2006 |
| No Score Yet | L'Entente cordiale | Actor | — | 2006 |
| No Score Yet | Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys | British Expert | — | 2006 |
| 38% | Man About Town | Dr. Primkin | — | 2006 |
| 32% | Valiant | Mercury | $19.4M | 2005 |
| No Score Yet | John Cleese's Wine for the Confused | Actor | — | 2004 |
| No Score Yet | Wine for the Confused | Actor | — | 2004 |
| 32% | Around the World in 80 Days | Grizzled Sergeant | — | 2004 |
| 90% | Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban | Nearly Headless Nick | $249.4M | 2004 |
| 89% | Shrek 2 | King Harold | $436.5M | 2004 |
| No Score Yet | Romance With A Double Bass | Actor | — | 2003 |
| 17% | George Of The Jungle 2 | Ape | — | 2003 |
| 17% | Esto es un Robo | Charles Merchant | — | 2003 |
| 42% | Charlie's Angels - Full Throttle | Mr. Munday | $100.7M | 2003 |
| 67% | Stupidity | Actor | — | 2003 |
| 57% | Die Another Day | Q | $160.3M | 2002 |
| 83% | Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets | Nick the Nearly Headless Ghost | $261.9M | 2002 |
| 4% | The Adventures of Pluto Nash | James | $4.4M | 2002 |
| 81% | Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone | Sir Nicholas "Nearly Headless Nick" de Mimsy-Porpington | $317.6M | 2001 |
| No Score Yet | Mickey's Magical Christmas - Snowed in at the House of Mouse | Narrator | — | 2001 |
| No Score Yet | Beauty | Actor | — | 2001 |
| 44% | Rat Race | Donald Sinclair | $55.9M | 2001 |
| No Score Yet | The Magic Pudding | Albert The Magic Pudding | — | 2001 |
| 25% | Isn't She Great | Henry Marcus | — | 2000 |
| No Score Yet | Quantum Project | Alexander Pentcho | — | 2000 |
| 52% | The World Is Not Enough | R | — | 1999 |
| 27% | The Out-of-Towners | Mr. Mersault | — | 1999 |
| No Score Yet | Parting Shots | Maurice Walpole | — | 1999 |
| 57% | George of the Jungle | Voice of Ape Ape An Ape Named 'Ape' | — | 1997 |
| 53% | Fierce Creatures | Producer Screenwriter Rollo Lee | — | 1997 |
| 75% | The Wind in the Willows | Mr. Toad's Lawyer | — | 1996 |
| 79% | Rudyard Kipling's The Jungle Book | Dr. Plumford | — | 1994 |
| 38% | Mary Shelley's Frankenstein | Prof. Waldman | — | 1994 |
| 50% | The Swan Princess | Jean-Bob | — | 1994 |
| 8% | Splitting Heirs | Shadgrind | — | 1993 |
| 54% | An American Tail - Fievel Goes West | Cat R. Waul | — | 1991 |
| No Score Yet | Bullseye! | Man on Beach in Barbados | — | 1990 |
| No Score Yet | Quark the Dragon Slayer | Actor | — | 1990 |
| No Score Yet | Life of Python | Actor | — | 1990 |
| No Score Yet | The Secret Policeman's Biggest Ball | Actor | — | 1989 |
| 47% | Erik the Viking | Halfdan the Black | — | 1989 |
| 91% | The Big Picture | Bartender | — | 1989 |
| 40% | Bert Rigby, You're a Fool | Actor | — | 1989 |
| No Score Yet | Monty Python's Parrot Sketch Not Included | Actor | — | 1989 |
| 94% | A Fish Called Wanda | Screenwriter Executive Producer Archie Leach | — | 1988 |
| No Score Yet | The Secret Policeman's Third Ball | Actor | — | 1987 |
| 80% | Clockwise | Brian Stimpson | — | 1986 |
| 76% | Silverado | Sheriff Langston | $33.3M | 1985 |
| No Score Yet | The Secret Policeman's Private Parts | Actor | — | 1984 |
| 22% | Yellowbeard | Screenwriter Blind Pew | — | 1983 |
| 86% | Monty Python's The Meaning of Life | Fish #2/Dr. Spencer/Humphrey Williams/Sturridge/Ainsworth Screenwriter | — | 1983 |
| No Score Yet | Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl | Various roles Rotkäppchen Screenwriter | — | 1982 |
| No Score Yet | Privates on Parade | Major Giles Flack | — | 1982 |
| 89% | The Secret Policeman's Other Ball | Actor | — | 1982 |
| 89% | Time Bandits | Robin Hood Screenwriter | — | 1981 |
| 76% | The Great Muppet Caper | Neville | — | 1981 |
| No Score Yet | The Secret Policeman's Ball | Actor | — | 1981 |
| No Score Yet | The Taming of the Shrew | Petruchio | — | 1980 |
| 95% | Monty Python's Life of Brian | Centurion | — | 1979 |
| No Score Yet | Strange Case of the End of Civilization as We Know It | Arthur Sherlock Holmes | — | 1977 |
| No Score Yet | The Mermaid Frolics | Actor | — | 1977 |
| No Score Yet | Pleasure at Her Majesty's (Monty Python Meets Beyond the Fringe) | Actor | — | 1976 |
| 97% | Monty Python and the Holy Grail | Sir Lancelot, Black Knight, French Screenwriter | — | 1975 |
| No Score Yet | Monty Python's Flying Circus - Episode 45 | Actor | — | 1974 |
| No Score Yet | Romance With a Double Bass | Musician Smychkov | — | 1974 |
| No Score Yet | Dr. Seuss: Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are? | Narrator | — | 1973 |
| 91% | Monty Python's And Now for Something Completely Different | Screenwriter Town Guild Lady #2 | — | 1972 |
| No Score Yet | The Statue | Harry | — | 1971 |
| No Score Yet | The Rise and Rise of Michael Rimmer | Screenwriter Pumer Plumer | — | 1970 |
| 59% | The Magic Christian | Director In Sotheby's | — | 1970 |
| No Score Yet | John Cleese on How to Irritate People | Actor | — | 1968 |
| No Score Yet | The Bliss of Mrs. Blossom | Actor | — | 1968 |
| No Score Yet | At Last the 1948 Show | Actor | — | 1967 |
| No Score Yet | Interlude | 'rV Publicist | — | 1957 |
TV
| Credit | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| 56% |
Hold the Sunset 2018 |
Phil |
2019 2018 |
| No Score Yet |
Speechless 2016-2019 |
Martin |
2018 |
| No Score Yet |
Late Night With Seth Meyers 2014 |
Guest |
2018 2015 |
| No Score Yet |
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 2015 |
Guest |
2018 2015 |
| No Score Yet |
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 2014 |
Guest |
2017 2015 |
| No Score Yet |
Conan 2010 |
Guest |
2016 2015 |
| No Score Yet |
Sunday Morning 2011-2018 |
Appearing |
2015 |
| No Score Yet |
Real Time with Bill Maher 2003 |
Panelist Guest |
2015 2014 |
| No Score Yet |
The Graham Norton Show 2007 |
Guest |
2015 2014 2010 |
| No Score Yet |
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 1999-2015 |
Guest |
2014 |
| 19% |
Whitney 2011-2013 |
Dr. Grant |
2013 2012 |
| 66% |
Entourage 2004-2011 |
Himself |
2010 |
| No Score Yet |
Chelsea Lately 2007-2014 |
Guest |
2009 2008 |
| No Score Yet |
Will & Grace 1998 |
Lyle Finster Lester Finster |
2004 2003 1999 |
| No Score Yet |
3rd Rock from the Sun 1996-2001 |
Liam Neesam |
2001 1998 |
| No Score Yet |
Cheers 1982-1993 |
Dr. Simon Finch-Royce Guest |
1988 1987 |
| 68% |
Doctor Who 1963-1989 |
Gallery Visitor |
1979 1973 |
| 100% |
The Muppet Show 1976-1981 |
Guest |
1977 |
| 100% |
Fawlty Towers 1975-1979 |
Basil Fawlty Screenwriter | |
| 100% |
Monty Python's Flying Circus 1969-1974 |
Screenwriter Director Performer | |
| No Score Yet |
The Avengers (1961) 1969 |
Marcus Rugman |
QUOTES FROM John Cleese CHARACTERS
Sir Lancelot, Black Knight, French says: "I'll do you for that."
Sir Lancelot, Black Knight, French says: I'll do you for that.
Sir Lancelot, Black Knight, French says: "You'll what?"
Sir Lancelot, Black Knight, French says: You'll what?
Queen Lillian says: Harold!
Princess Fiona says: Shrek!
Shrek says: Fiona!
King Harold says: Fiona!
Princess Fiona says: Mom!
Donkey says: Donkey!
Fairy Godmother says: Harold! You were meant to give her the potion!
Fairy Godmother says: Harold! You were supposed to give her the potion!
King Harold says: Well, I think I gave her the wrong tea!
King Harold says: Well, I must have given her the wrong tea!
Brian Stimpson says: It's not the despair. I can stand the despair. It's the hope!
Mrs. Garden says: It don't who I am or when I am.
French says: "Now go away or I will taunt you a second time."
French says: Now go away or I will taunt you a second time.
Bulldog says: I don't cry, I'm British.
Donald Sinclair says: currently you have been racing for about 15 seconds and right now Mr Shafer is winning because he is closest to the door.
Donald Sinclair says: Currently you have been racing for about 15 seconds and right now Mr Shafer is winning because he is closest to the door.
Raoul P. Shadgrind says: Say no more!
Raoul P. Shadgrind says: People went sex mad in the sixties, you know. Seemed to do it just for fun/
Raoul P. Shadgrind says: People went sex mad in the sixties, you know. Seemed to do it just for fun.
Q says: How about you aquatint yourself with the manual you should be able to shoot through that in a couple hours
Q says: How about you aquatint yourself with the manual you should be able to shoot through that in a couple hours .
James Bond Agent 007 says: It only took a few seconds Q
James Bond Agent 007 says: It only took a few seconds Q.
Q says: I wish I could make you vanish
Q says: I wish I could make you vanish.
Q says: Pardon me for asking 007 but a perfect marksman isn't suppose to shoot his own boss.
James Bond Agent 007 says: Check the replay you will find he's dead and she only has a flesh wound
James Bond Agent 007 says: Check the replay you will find he's dead and she only has a flesh wound.
Black Knight says: (After noticing that he has no limbs left) All right, we'll call it a draw.
Black Knight says: All right, we'll call it a draw.
French says: Your Mother was a Hamster, and your Father smelt of Elderberries!
French says: Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
Three-Headed Knight says: (First Head)I say let's kill him.
Three-Headed Knight says: (Second Head) Let's have tea first.
Three-Headed Knight says: (Third Head) Oh, stop your whining. First we kill him, then we have biscuts and tea.
Three-Headed Knight says: (Second Head) No biscuts. Let's just kill him already.
Three-Headed Knight says: (First Head) Alright, alright. First we kill him, then we have tea.
Three-Headed Knight says: (All Three) Right.
Black Knight says: (Second Head) Why, the blokes' run off!
Professor Kipple says: This is oviesly alien writing....mmm....it says surrender or die and this is a list of surrender turns.
Professor Kipple says: This is oviesly alien writing.... mmm.... it says surrender or die and this is a list of surrender turns.
King Arthur says: You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight.
Black Knight says: ...
King Arthur says: I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
King Arthur says: I seek the bravest and the finest knights in the land who will join me in my court at Camelot.
King Arthur says: You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me?
King Arthur says: You make me sad.
King Arthur says: How does it... um... how does it work?
Sir Lancelot says: I know not, my liege.
King Arthur says: Consult the Book of Armaments!
Maynard says: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.
Minstrel + minor role says: And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...
Minstrel + minor role says: And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...
Maynard says: Skip a bit, brother...
Minstrel + minor role says: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Minstrel + minor role says: And the Lord spake, saying, First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Maynard says: Amen.
King Arthur says: Right. One... two... five!
Sir Galahad says: Three, sir.
King Arthur says: Three!
Centurion says: Well, it's a joke sir, like Sillius Soddus or Biggus Dickus, Sir.
Pontius Pilate says: What's so funny about Biggus Dickus?
Centurion says: Well, it's a joke name, Sir.
Black Knight says: Right! I'll do you for that!
King Arthur says: You'll what?
Black Knight says: Come here!
King Arthur says: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
Black Knight says: I am invincible!
King Arthur says: You're a loony!
Black Knight says: The Black Knights always triumph!
Black Knight says: It's just a scratch. I've had worse.
Black Knight says: Oh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here & take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!
King Arthur says: Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left!
Black Knight says: Yes I have.
King Arthur says: Look!
Black Knight says: Just a flesh wound.
Black Knight says: Running away? You yellow bastard! Come back and get what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!
Black Knight says: 'Tis but a scratch.
King Arthur says: A scratch!? Your arm's off!
Black Knight says: No, it isn't.
King Arthur says: Well, what's that then?!
Black Knight says: I've had worse.
Black Knight says: Tis but a scratch
Black Knight says: Tis but a scratch.
Black Knight says: I'll bite your legs off!
King Arthur says: (having cut off all of the Black Knight's limbs), well, lets get going! Come along, Patsy
King Arthur says: [having cut off all of the Black Knight's limbs] Well, lets get going! Come along, Patsy
Black Knight says: (limbless and on the ground) Running away, eh? Come back here!! I'll bite your legs off!!
Black Knight says: [limbless and on the ground] Running away, eh? Come back here! I'll bite your legs off!
Old Man from Scene 24 says: What is your name?
Sir Lancelot says: Sir Lancelot of Camelot!
Old Man from Scene 24 says: What is your quest?
Sir Lancelot says: To seek the Holy Grail!
Old Man from Scene 24 says: What is your favorite colour?
Sir Lancelot says: Red!... I mean blue! (falls down the crevice screaming)
Sir Lancelot says: Red!... I mean blue! [falls down the crevice screaming]
Fourth Fish says: Oh sh*t, it's Mr. Creosote!
Second Fish Grim says: Hide!
Sir Lancelot says: [charges into room, killing hicoughing guard]
Guard says: [turns] Now, you're not allowed to- [gets cut off as Lancelot kills him]
French says: I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hampster, and your father smelt of eldeberries!
King Arthur says: Is there anyone else up there we can talk to?
French says: No! now go away away or I shall taunt you a second time!
Sir Lancelot says: i thought your son was a girl
Sir Lancelot says: I thought your son was a girl.
King says: thats understandable
King says: That's understandable.
Centurion says: Brian, "you don't need to fallow me, you don't need to fallow anybody."
Brian Called Brian says: You don't need to fallow me, you don't need to fallow anybody.
Centurion says: You don't need to fallow me, you don't need to fallow anybody,
King Arthur says: [after literally "disarming" the Black Knight] Now stand aside, worthy adversary!
King Arthur says: [after literally 'disarming' the Black Knight] Now stand aside, worthy adversary!
Black Knight says: 'Tis but a scratch.
King Arthur says: A scratch?! You're arm's off!
Black Knight says: No it isn't!
King Arthur says: [points to BK's arm on the ground] Well, what's that?
Black Knight says: I've had worse.
King Arthur says: You liar!
Black Knight says: Oh, come on, you pansy!
King Arthur says: [calling out to the battlements] Hello! Hello!
French says: Hallo? Who is it?
King Arthur says: It is King Arthur, and these are his Knights of the Round Table. Whose castle is this?
French says: This is the castle of my master, Guy de Lombard.
King Arthur says: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he can provide us food and shelter for the night he can join us on the quest for the Holy Grail.
French says: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'd be very keen. He's already got one you see?
King Arthur says: [puzzled] What?
Sir Galahad says: They said they already got one.
Professor Barnhardt says: It's only at the precipice that we change.
King Harold says: He's ogre.
King Harold says: No, really. I'm fine.
Archie Leach says: I Wendy- I Wanda- I wonder...
Black Knight says: It's Only a flesh wound.
Black Knight says: It's just a flesh wound!
French says: Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of silly persons!
French says: Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person.
French says: You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.
French says: You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called 'Arthur King', you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.
French says: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries
French says: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
Black Knight says: I'll have you for that!
King Arthur says: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
Ape says: Ladies and gentlemen I present you The King of the Jungle.
French says: Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries
French says: Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
Black Knight says: It's only a flesh wound!
Black Knight says: It's just a flesh wound.
King Arthur says: to Black knigh: tWhat are you going to do, bleed on me?
Black Knight says: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
French says: Your father was a hamster, and your mother smelt of elderberries!
French says: Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
Sir Lancelot says: She turned me into a newt!
Sir Galahad says: A newt?
Sir Lancelot says: ...I got better...
Sir Lancelot says: I got better...
Narrator says: Silly old bear.
Narrator says: oh bother
Narrator says: Oh bother.
King says: You only killed the bride's father, you know.
Sir Lancelot says: Well, I didn't mean to.
King says: Didn't mean to? You put your sword right through his head.
Sir Lancelot says: Oh dear... is he all right?
Sheriff Langston says: It's hard on the peace and it's hard on the furniture
Black Knight says: It's just a flesh wound.
French says: I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
Black Knight says: Tis but a scratch!
French says: Your motha was a hamster and your fatha smelled of hoozenberries!!!