Oct 11, 2009
<i>"You're never too young to die."</i><p>
Having read the book, I can say that <i>Stormbreaker</i> is totally disapointing. They had so much to work with - some good actors, a great martial arts choreographer, and exciting stunts. So, what the fuck happened?
<u>SUMMARY:</u><p>
14-year-old Alex Rider (Alex Pettyfer) is an orphan. He lives with his Uncle Ian (Ewan McGregor), and American housekeeper Jack (Alicia Silverstone), and he thinks his uncle works in a bank but Ian is a spy for MI6 and, before the opening credits are over, he's dead. Alex is recruited as a spy by Mr. Blunt (Bill Nighy) and Mrs. Jones (Sophie Okonedo), and assigned to infiltrate the HQ of billionaire Darius Sayle (Mickey Rourke), who is donating one of his revolutionary Stormbreaker computers to every British school. Alex finds himself trapped in the giant facility by Sayle and his evil sidekicks, Nadia Vole (Missi Pyle), and Mr. Grin (Andy Serkis).
<u>REVIEW:</u><p>
The film is an adaptation of Anthony Horrowitz's <i>Stormbreaker</i>,and he takes on the role of screenwriter. Shockingly, the screenplay is flat. The book is actually very good, and we get nothing from the script. It's so flavourless - the characters don't have the flair that they had in the book, and if you ask me, the screenplay is very much <b>immateur</b>. Alex Rider doesn't appear to be a very likeable hero in this, he's very much smart-ass who thinks he's so good (remind you of anyone, Malcolm?). Darius Sayle is quite an overdone villain in this - there's no touch of subtlety in his character, and there should be. The dialogue tries to be witty but fails in the attempt, and there are some jokes that lack a sense of humour. Luckily, the ending doesn't signal and a sequel, so <i>Point Blank</i> should be safe from getting ruined.
Alex Pettyfer is a general pretty boy who lacks charisma and talent. He's really bad in this. His looks will of course appeal to girls around the world, just like Robert Pattinson. He shouldn't keep acting, but modelling seems like a good idea for the wanker. Many of the actors are quite underused, which annoyed me. Robbie Coltrane does nothing as the Prime Minister - he's good, but he has no screen-time. Ewan McGregor has a short action sequence, but we see no more of him after his character dies - couldn't there have been a flashback or something? Stepher Fry gleefully plays Smithers, the supplier of gadgets for Alex, and he's excellent in the role. Bill Nighy overdoes his role, but I still enjoyed his performance. I found Missi Pyle very good as Nadia Vole - I even found her hot.
The martial arts sequences were choreographed by Donnie Yen. I'm a huge fan of his. He's one of my favourite choreographers. The fact that there are only two fight sequences, that last about 2 minutes each, drives me mad! Even though Yen had nothing to work with, he was still able to create two competent enough fight sequences. The action is boring however, and quite horribly shot. The cinematography is terrible, the CGI looks so obvious - I could go on forever. The soundtrack is irritating, but the pacing is okay however. It actually moves along at a really nice pace.
Alex Pettyfer <b>sucks</b>. Why him? His career looks promising. He got himself the lead romantic role in <i>Wild Child</i>, and is soon to be the lead for <i>I am Number Four</i> with the beautiful Dianna Agron. He doesn't deserve that heat. Anyways, <i>Stormbreaker</i> has a few qualities, but it shouts out so many flaws that quickly make it a disaster. I can't recommend this at all, even to those who like the book. This is garbage.
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